topic It feels like i found out who i am, and i hate it in Depression

It feels like i found out who i am, and i hate it

D_Junior — Tue, 31 Jul 2018 10:31:07 GMT

Recently i have started to feel anxious about every conversation ive ever had, it feels like everything i have done and the moments in my life where ive felt fulfilled or happy where all just lies, all my friends are only my friends because they feel sorry for me, or cant shake me. Everyone has just been taking the piss out of me and ive never noticed it. No one has told me when im being stupid or annoying because they're too nice or believed im too nice and did not want to upset me. I cant help but feel, i am just a unintelligent, uninteresting and that i have very poor social skills. I just want someone to tell me the truth so i can work out if it is just my anxiety or something else like low self esteem, or something i can work to recover. I have been diagnosed with Major depressive disorder and Anxiety, and also Borderline Personality disorder. But these thoughts are new and have slowly started to creep in, all these passed events in my life have started to make sense, and im starting to see that maybe people treat me differently. Which sucks, i just want to be normal and have a normal life, and not even be happy. I just dont want to be a charity case. Cheers for any advice

It feels like i found out who i am, and i hate it

geoff — Tue, 31 Jul 2018 19:30:42 GMT

Hello D Junior, and thanks for posting your comment.

From what you have told us feeling unintelligent, uninteresting, and poor social skills does indicate a sign that you're depressed, although I'm not qualified to say, but after having it myself for such a long period it's fair to say, if it was my brother who asked me then that's what I would tell him.

This is something you can overcome by visiting your doctor, to begin with, as you have been diagnosed with anxiety, depression and BPD, they may have prescribed you with medication and refer you onto a psychologist by using the mental health plan, this allows you 10 free sessions per year.

People treat us a bit different, some want to disappear, while others don't know what to say, but depression will change the way we think, negative thoughts develop and we build on them, secluding you away by yourself.

You have accepted this happening and that's better than being in denial, what this means is that you are prepared to get the help you need, this is a good post.

Don't compare yourself to others and imagined that they have a better life than you do, you have an illness and with help you will recover.

Please keep this post going.

Geoff.

It feels like i found out who i am, and i hate it

Quiettall — Thu, 02 Aug 2018 09:41:27 GMT

Hi D Junior and Geoff

How amazing your posts are. they really strike a note with me. For years I have harboured a strong feeling of inferiority because of my size, my lack of good looks and my shyness to express who I was or what I really felt.

Getting help from the resources available through your doctor or through the great programs offered by Beyond Blue, such as this forum, or New Access, or through your regional Primary Health Network, is a great way to get a confidential help to move forward in a positive way.

I have read many of your posts Geoff and never cease to be amazed and inspired by your wisdom

Kindest Regards

Peter

It feels like i found out who i am, and i hate it

aegidius — Thu, 02 Aug 2018 10:19:44 GMT

Have had that feeling too on occasions: thought I was doing OK socially, and then discover that I'm seen as a joe schmuck. Know it. But I'm probably my own worst critic, and probably you are too.