topic Is anybody there? in Depression

Is anybody there?

Paullus — Tue, 04 Jul 2017 04:40:41 GMT

Why is it after a number of therapy sessions, trying different therpeutic approaches, research and self analysis, unsuccessful medications, discussions with family and close friends that I feel so misunderstood? I don't blame anyone for this because if I struggle to know self how can anyone else. There doesn't seem to be an answer and I'm slowly losing my grip on the basic realities of life. And that scares me a bit as I feel there is an inevitable conclusion to all this. Does anyone really understand the frigging hopelessness that is depression, the ever present melancholy that won't let go despite concerted effort to shrug it off. There has been recent sportsmen who have "stepped away from the game to deal with mental health issues" and the world goes awww, poor things, only for these guys to appear next week and get on with it. If only it was that easy as its not the depression I know. I've tried everything in order to get a grip on this black dog but nothing seems to work. I'm not after sympathy at all, it's my lot and I'm responsible and I get that. I guess I'm just looking for someone to acknowlege what a bummer this involuntary condition is. I know I'm not the only sufferer, but in my world no-one gets me or it. Thanks for listening.

Is anybody there?

Guest_128 — Tue, 04 Jul 2017 04:54:30 GMT

Hi Paullus, I am here,I'm sitting right next to you.

The big guns,meaning those that write well,will be here as well shortly.

I truly think you are going to find so many people that DO understand YOU.

Chin up , when you feel up to it join in the social threads, that helped me a look to feel like a normal mental health person. Your not alone,they will be here soon.

Later

Is anybody there?

solabear — Tue, 04 Jul 2017 05:49:01 GMT

Hi Paullus,

We understand what you're going through, we've been there and done that. So you came to the right place to vent and as Later said the big guns will be with you shortly. There are so many caring and understanding people on here and some of them are really talented writers and give really good advice. You can ask anything in a safe and non judgmental environment.

Please look around and read other member's posts, and we also have our virtual BB Caffe, which is the place for small talk and humour sometimes.

Welcome and good on you posting

Sola xx

Is anybody there?

Dorian_Gray — Tue, 04 Jul 2017 05:51:28 GMT

Hey Paullus,

You’re right it sucks,

Re: “Does anyone really understand the frigging hopelessness that is depression, the ever present melancholy that won't let go despite concerted effort to shrug it off.”

I would say the answer is both yes and no, other people do ‘get it’ but they only ever get it for themselves. That is everyone’s depressions, its causes, its cures (if any exist at all) is unique to that individual you can ‘get’ your own depression, but no matter what you do you can’t understand fully anyone else’s an no one can fully understand yours. Maybe they can understand a few pieces in common but not the whole, or at least that is my experience.

If I can understand one thing in common it is the frustration from repeated attempts to defeat your problem yet still find no resolution, you do all the things a counsellor or therapist suggests and yet to no avail. Perhaps the problem is the finite list of strategies they offer, once you’ve used them all up what is left, or if your
depression is caused by external factors impacting you what can you really do to remedy that.

Wish I had the answers for all of us on here.

Is anybody there?

Paullus — Tue, 04 Jul 2017 06:28:26 GMT

And perhaps that is the answer Dorian_Gray, there is no answer and that in itself may be a comfort for those looking for a definitive solution. I agree with you that everyone's depression/anxiety is unique and comes from who knows where. Perhaps the approach is not to try for an elusive curative solution or a groping explanation, but to accept the chemical imbalance is just that and difficult to address. CBT therapy and mindfulness has its place to promote calmness of mind but it is not an antidote for the marauding black dog. Thanksfor your reply, it helped put things in perspective just a little. Cheers:)

Is anybody there?

Paullus — Tue, 04 Jul 2017 06:57:17 GMT

Thanks Later, for getting back so quick, appreciate that. I have replied to Dorian_Gray as I connected with her/his post. I have so much compassion for all who struggle with mental health issues that negatively impact day to day life. Cheers 🙂

Is anybody there?

Guest_128 — Tue, 04 Jul 2017 07:09:45 GMT

No probs, stick around,

Later

Is anybody there?

Paullus — Tue, 04 Jul 2017 10:12:30 GMT

Notwithstanding what has been said in this thread, I continue to struggle with a lot of the expert or lay person commentary around Depression. I am trying to understand properly the role and purpose of institutions like Beyond Blue when it comes to definitive explanations, research and progress in defining Depression. I am often bemused and indeed cranky when I listen to some of the inaccurate discussion around this mental health scourge. It is given lip service by the Political class, chuck some money at it and move on. The stigma of mental health remains and the cause is largely unknown. Commentators attempt to provide a cause such as a variety of life events. I don't see it that way at all. I personally cannot pinpoint anything that makes me continually question the purpose of life and therefore leads to my depressed state. I've led a relatively conventional life, country upbringing, good jobs, enjoyable social life, loving family and so on. Depression is unique to the individual and is very very complex and its this complexity that appears to be air brushed by organisations and professionals. I might be way off message here and I by no means wish demean the work organisations do in this field. I just feel the smoking gun of Depression complexity is put in the too hard basket with a focus being on surface mental health issues and glib commentary. I don't see real progress in understanding and dealing with Depression.

Is anybody there?

Guest_128 — Tue, 04 Jul 2017 10:27:14 GMT

I'm sorry,

stop worrying about all those

You need to help your self ATM.

Wait please

Is anybody there?

Guest_1055 — Tue, 04 Jul 2017 10:58:24 GMT

Hi Paullus,

You are right living or rather existing in that dark well of depression is awful, well beyond awful. I was going to say sorry you are experiencing it, but I was unsure whether you would like that. But anyway I wish I good take it all away for you.

You seem like you have a very analytical mind, and think very deeply and perhaps passionately about this issue.?

Are you just plain sick and tired of everything? And perhaps yearn for some kind of quiteness within?

I noticed you mentioned some thing about the purpose of your life. I have asked that question many times in regards to my purpose as well. And is a very deep question isn it? It is a challenge to find the reason for our very own existence, like why are we on this earth at this particular time in history? I don't know the answer to that, however I do know there is a reason and purpose for your life. Just as there is one for all of us.

I am not sure if what I have said has helped you or anything. But I do care. And I am hearing you.

Shell

Is anybody there?

solabear — Tue, 04 Jul 2017 11:23:28 GMT

Hey there, I get you. Depression is a unique condition of the individual and indeed very complex. BB is a good outlet to vent and get advice and support from non professionals who also struggle with a mental illness. It's great to feel connected with others and knowing that you're not alone.

I've been suffering from depression since childhood, I was actually diagnosed with bipolar in my 30's and I'm in my 50's now. I can only tell you how I've been coping and what worked for me. First of all medication makes a massive difference to me, but it took a while before we found the right meds for me. Second of all ...meditation, practicing being in the present made a difference as well.

Being in the present mean you try to be in the present moment and limit your thoughts about the past and future to practical reasons only. Just appreciate the "right now", because that's the only reality you will ever get. what ever happened 2 minutes ago is not reality anymore, because it's gone and what might happen in the future hasn't happened yet. I've learned this from Eckhart Tolle.....you can watch or listen to him on YouTube. I highly recommend it.

I hope this helped

Sola

Is anybody there?

Guest_128 — Tue, 04 Jul 2017 11:24:33 GMT

Hi,

how are you feeling now?

Later

Is anybody there?

Paullus — Tue, 04 Jul 2017 11:53:56 GMT

I guess I'm searching for the silver bullet, a bullet that doesn't exist. Mindfulness is an art which I haven't mastered yet but I see purpose in it. Thanks anyway.

Is anybody there?

Paullus — Tue, 04 Jul 2017 11:55:54 GMT

Ok later, the anger and frustration has drifted away, as it usually does. Thanks for being there:)

Is anybody there?

Croix — Tue, 04 Jul 2017 12:10:00 GMT

Dear Paullus~

I think you feel the way a lot of people do, and I suppose this is the reason why this Forum exists. It is simply a place where people with similar experiences can talk. Like Sola, Later Dorian and myself you have depression, and I guess in each of us it manifests in differing ways, all debilitating and highly unpleasant. So yes some people do understand the frigging hopelessness that is depression, the ever present melancholy that won't let go - they are old friends to us.

It takes someone who has been there to understand - it's that simple. By contrast my wife gave me the greatest long-term support, shouldered her burdens and mine, and did not ever understand what was in my mind. Frankly it was not necessary, love, care, and rules of thumb as to what to do were more than enough.

There is one thing you say I would not agree with -it's my lot and I'm responsible and I get that - There's a couple of assumptions there. First is that depression is no one's lot, it is an illness that strikes many - like malaria might - and like an illness should be cured or at the very least minimized.

Second you are not responsible for either contracting it, or being solely responsible for your improvement. It's true that one must apply oneself to therapy - it can't be done for you, but that's it.

I'm not some Pollyanna sticking up for the establishment, I'm just someone who has been suicidal, hospitalized, been treated with meds and therapies for many years and ended up in an acceptable sort of life, admittedly with ups and downs.

Those years have not always been easy, in fact none of them were, but am still here talking to you and more importantly - sufficiently motivated to do so. I'm in a state I hope you reach too.

I dunno if this is making any sense to you Paullus, I can understand the frustration and seeming hopelessness of repeated attempts at getting better using meds and therapies that have not worked. I've felt that long-term, and truth be told sometimes do even now, though not for long.

I'd suggest two things, the first is it takes someone other than yourself to pull you out - I could not think myself better, and secondly the treatment only had to be right once, then all the failures don't matter.

I think you will have seen by the number of replies you have had that this pace has like-minded caring people and I hope you feel welcome enough, and taken seriously enough to keep posting

Croix

Is anybody there?

Paullus — Tue, 04 Jul 2017 13:25:25 GMT

I seriously welcome your thoughts and revelations Croix and feel perhaps I have found a place where people do genuinely know what it is like to live with Depression. You don't need to defend BB as I don't mean to diminish its value and importance. Sometimes I just seem to be fighting the fight alone. In life I have have met and conquered many challenges both professional and personal but dealing with increased melancholy as I grow older is my greatest challenge. I now know I'm not alone. Again, thank you and all the respondents as today was not a good day, but tomorrow will be 🙂

Is anybody there?

Chris_B — Tue, 04 Jul 2017 22:39:40 GMT

Hi Paullus,

I know you're not expecting a 'defence' of BB but there's a couple of bits of info that might be handy to read the next time you're feeling a bit frustrated about progress.

We have been tracking attitudes towards anxiety and depression in the Australian community since 2004 in a regular survey called the Depression Monitor. Things are changing, even if it's hard to see from a personal standpoint.

In terms of what BB's role is in all this, we've got things happening across the spectrum. We provide support for people who are struggling through these forums, the counselling line, resources and information; but we also have programs that look at earlier intervention and trying to build resilience before depression sets in, like the work we're doing in schools and workplaces.

You're right in that there's no one magic solution to it all. There will always be more work to be done of course. But as the old saying goes, "it's hard to beat a person who never gives up".

Is anybody there?

Paullus — Wed, 05 Jul 2017 03:35:11 GMT

Hello Chris and thanks for your words. I fully agree that good work is being done around acknowledging Depression, and the various ways it can be treated. I looked at the Depression Monitor work and its findings. What I can't find a lot of information on is research and definitive explanation on what causes Depression. There may not be an answer but I just don't see a lot of activity around finding one. Please excuse my ignorance if I am wrong here but I'm a person looking for the "why" moreso than the "what to do about it". I'll probably bark up this tree until the cows come home:)