topic Dreading Christmas in Depression

Dreading Christmas

Anna_Mac — Sun, 24 Dec 2017 01:15:01 GMT

I had a wonderful Christmas day planned with my now ex boyfriend, we had been together for 8 years and he ended the relationship recently because he has depression. As my family live interstate I will probably be spending Christmas alone, any tips on how to get through the day?

Dreading Christmas

geoff — Sun, 24 Dec 2017 01:32:18 GMT

hello Anna Mac, how sorry I feel for you to be alone on Xmas day after a long relationship has ended due to his depression.
I can't tell you how many times this happens on such an important day for many, all you want to do is snuggle up to your partner and then give them a gift which you have spent so much time looking for, but it doesn't stop you from trying to contact him, just a few words from him will make your day, and because he has depression doesn't mean he doesn't love you.
It maybe hard for him to sound happy but please consider that with depression it's very difficult to show any emotions.
If you love him then you could try and get him all the help he needs, but let's get over tomorrow first. Geoff. x

Dreading Christmas

Anna_Mac — Sun, 24 Dec 2017 01:51:12 GMT

Thank you Geoff. When he broke up with me 5 weeks ago he said he would be thinking (on Christmas Day) about all the nice things we had planned. Would he still think like that or would he have forgotten about me by now?

Dreading Christmas

white knight — Sun, 24 Dec 2017 11:55:13 GMT

Hi Anna, welcome

By all means think of your relationship but in short bursts only. Distraction works.

Here are a few threads that can help

Use google

Topic: switching mindsets- beyondblue

Topic: distraction and variety- beyondblue

Topic: the balance of your life- beyondblue

A tough day for you but we cant garrantee every xmas will be magical.

Tony WK

Dreading Christmas

Tasa83 — Sun, 24 Dec 2017 17:19:10 GMT

I’m sorry to hear about the break up. It may not be forever as depression can alter a relationship status.

About xmas... it may sound dark but you could just ignore the day. I do. I’ve never really done Christmas so to me it’s just another day. I’m not making a feast, I’m not getting or giving presents, I’m not decorating, I’m not spending the day with heaps of loved ones. It is just another day for me. I’m alone but it’s ok because on any other day it doesn’t matter that you are alone: only on silly holidays like xmas and Valentines.

I hope this helps.

Dreading Christmas

geoff — Sun, 24 Dec 2017 22:39:34 GMT

hi Anna Mac, there is definitely a chance in the back of his mind he maybe thinking of what you had planned, and because it's not happening then in the back of his mind he could still be putting the blame on himself, making his depression worse.
There is no blame to be put on anyone here, depression can happen for any unusual reason, that is, the relationship may have nothing to do with why he has depression, it could be other issues that have all compounded at once, and the reason why he left is because he doesn't want to involve or hurt you, that happens so many times in other r/ships.
I would be trying to contact him today, at the moment that's all he may need is a cuddle and a reassurance that you do love him. Geoff.

Dreading Christmas

Juan_Kenobi — Mon, 25 Dec 2017 04:02:18 GMT

Xmas for me as a child always meant nice presents, great food, followed by drugs and alcohol being consumed and more often than not domestic violence followed by a visit by the police to break up the fights. As a kid I used to try and out drink the adults...my thoughts were the more I consumed the less the adults could and hopefully there wouldn't be fights. As it goes I developed drinking and pot habits and became a professional kick boxer. Now I haven't seen my kids in over 2 years, don't speak to any other family members and only recently been diagnosed with major depression and anxiety. Been in this dark hole for over 30 years I reckon. The meds are really helping but Xmas day is a big downer for me....especially seeing all the advertising about being a time of love, sharing etc...receiving text messages (although people mean well) I couldn't give 2 sh!ts about Xmas!!!

Dreading Christmas

Tasa83 — Thu, 28 Dec 2017 15:44:40 GMT

It sounds like xmas was rough for you as a kid and even now. It is good something postive came out of it with the kick boxing.

i hope you managed to get through this xmas and didn’t feel too crappy. Luckily its now over and we can have a year off.

sending good vibes for the new year.