topic Being negative or being realistic! in Depression

Being negative or being realistic!

ElyseH — Fri, 16 Jun 2017 10:01:42 GMT

What is it when you dont believe what people say? All my life ive been some would say negative person, but at times i think im being realistic. I think im not smart, that none wants me or my friends wouldnt care or miss me. But my friends tell me how awesome they think i am. They tell me i am smart and they miss me. Ive tried to listen but i have come to reality, theyre my friends they have to say those things. My brain just doesnt believe any of it. I cannot see the truth in it and im sick of trying to make out i believe it just because someone has said something sweet or kind about me. The reality is...i dont believe what they say is true and i wish theyd listen to me and agree with me. To be honest if i was smart, in wouldnt be thinking things like this.

Being negative or being realistic!

SubduedBlues — Fri, 16 Jun 2017 10:27:29 GMT

What is it when you don't believe what people say? ... Hmm ...

A skeptic is a person inclined to question or doubt accepted opinions.
A heretic is a person holding an opinion at odds with what is generally accepted.
A scoffer is someone who jeers or mocks or treats something with contempt or calls out in derision.
An iconoclast is someone who attacks and seeks to overthrow traditional or popular ideas or institutions.
A nihilist is a person who believes that life is meaningless and rejects all moral principles.
A cynic is a person who believes that people are motivated purely by self-interest rather than acting for honorable or unselfish reasons.

I think you mean cynic.

Being negative or being realistic!

JessF — Mon, 19 Jun 2017 04:52:36 GMT

Hello Elyse, if you're confused about whether the things you're thinking are purely negative, or realistic, then it helps to weigh up the evidence you have for the belief in question.

If your tendency to be a negative thinker is deep-seated, then this process can sometimes involve several steps, because your brain will keep trying to argue with you.

For example, you mention a belief that you're not smart, no-one wants you, and your friends wouldn't miss you. You counter this by what your friends actually say to you: that you are awesome, and smart, and that they would miss you.

Your response is then: "but they're my friends, they have to say that".

What's the challenge here? Where's the evidence for this statement? Where is the rule that friends have to say nice things about you? If they believed the opposite of those things, why would they be friends with you?

Just because we believe something (I am stupid, worthless etc), it doesn't make it true. In addition, things can be true whether we believe them or not (that your friends think you're awesome).

The take-out lesson here? Beliefs are faulty and not always to be trusted, especially when evidence that contradicts them is right there in front of us. The key here is to try and let go of the beliefs that are serving you no purpose other than causing you misery.

Being negative or being realistic!

demonblaster — Tue, 27 Jun 2017 07:27:46 GMT

Elyse Hi

Depression & I'm not saying you have that cause I don't know but do know that it's a master at pulling us down in every way possible. It attacks our self worth, makes us question ourselves, the lot.

Dunno bout your friends, if they're saying nice things, then as you say if they're your friends then you must be worthy of them otherwise they may move on. Yeah people at times do say to be nice but they also say outta truth too. So many also don't hesitate to say the downs so maybe they're speaking truth.
Do you know your good points?
We all have em I reckon

For whatever reason/s you don't like yourself by the sounds, but remind yourself of your goods darl. It helps.

cya later 🙂