topic Fallen into a back hole in Depression

Fallen into a back hole

Dhkm3939 — Sat, 30 Sep 2017 06:39:18 GMT

I was doing well until I wasn't. Our Mum died suddenly 2 years ago in October and our Pop passed away a year ago. I terminated a pregnancy in my early 20's which haunts me everyday. I'm normally a very bubbly, happy person.. So to be feeling numb at the moment, like I'm crazy, like I should just be able to get over it all. But this time, I can't. I've seen a doctor and he's increased my medication but I still don't feel any better and I just want to sleep. What is wrong with me 😔

Fallen into a back hole

monkey_magic — Sat, 30 Sep 2017 07:03:05 GMT

Dear Dhkm3939,

First of all welcome to beyond blue and thankyou for sharing your story.

What a huge 2 years. You've had 3 sets of grief to go through and let me tell you what you are feeling is part of it. You wouldn't be human if u just got over it & no one would be expecting you to simply just get over it. For some people it stays with them.

There is no set time limit on your grieving and its OK. You will have bad moments as well as lighter ones.

I also terminated a pregnancy in my early 20's and the key to getting passed it was firstly for me to forgive myself & to know I was forgiven & I was free. I wrote it in a journal entry and felt better. Letting go of guilt is so freeing....

Fallen into a back hole

geoff — Sun, 01 Oct 2017 19:19:02 GMT

hello Dhkm, I have to say how deeply sorry I feel for you after these unfortunate events, especially for your mum and the baby you had to terminate, and please I haven't forgotten about your Pop, and although I'm not qualified to say I still wonder whether you have been diagnosed with suffering from PND, but your doctor will have to make this decision.
I've also suffered from this myself as my wife had it after our second son and know how deep the hole is, however neither of us received any counselling, we were too young, even though my Dad was a GP, but we lived a couple of hours away from him, but now in hindsight I only wish we did, because it may have prevented me from falling down in a big way later on in life.
Even though your medication has been in increased, doesn't necessarily mean that it's going to help you overcome this terrible feeling, and I say this because people need to have medication but also counselling to help get them through, so maybe you could ask your doctor to see a psychologist, and please ask them about the mental health plan, which entitles you to 10 free visits.
I do feel for where you are at the moment and I also hope that you can get back to us so we can keep on having a chat. Geoff.