topic (Re)learning how to concentrate in Depression

(Re)learning how to concentrate

james1 — Fri, 28 Apr 2017 00:03:46 GMT

Hello everyone,

One of the things I seem to be struggling with is concentrating. Dissociation and obsessive thoughts aside, I seem unable to really do anything that requires mental work.

I think it's a major obstacle in me getting my life really properly on track because it means I can't work properly, and I can't write either which I want to do as a productive hobby.

I've tried things like getting up and going for a walk and listening to music (which is my version of mindfullness/meditation), but the best I can manage is writing stream of consciousness which I just get fed up with anyway.

Anyone have any ideas? I know I shouldn't be too hard on myself about it, but it's pretty darn infuriating.

James

(Re)learning how to concentrate

Just Sara — Fri, 28 Apr 2017 02:36:54 GMT

Hi James;

Great topic!

My sister came over this morning for coffee; as we talked I felt so stupid because it was as if I had dementia. I couldn't focus or remember simple names or details. I was embarrassed but more-so concerned as I'd never gone thru this before.

While mulling over family issues I tried to say something and the words wouldn't come out. "I have to accept..." then again I tried; "I have to accept...why can't I say it?" I began to cry deeply and whispered; "I have to accept I'll never be the same person again." I couldn't stop the tears and grief.

Since my sis left, I've been wondering around my home in a bit of a daze. It really hurt to say those words and accept them. It left me with a sinking feeling that bought home the true nature of my damaged mind.

Anyway, your thread holds power within the realms of this horrible disorder and its symptoms James...thankyou for giving me a space to express.

Sara x

(Re)learning how to concentrate

james1 — Fri, 28 Apr 2017 03:04:37 GMT

Hey Sara,

Thanks for the reply.

I know the feeling all too well of just mentally going blank and not being able to verbalise something just too close to heart. It's like reaching for a child who's just run away, and you're left with only a bare memory.

Sometimes I wonder whether we should leave things be, but other times I wonder whether it's best to come face to face with the reality of, as you say, our damaged minds...I don't know the answer, but I suspect you did the best thing by getting those words out, painful as they were.

Being left in a daze sucks, but with support from our doctors, it's something that I hope we can slowly get better at managing.

James

(Re)learning how to concentrate

Just Sara — Fri, 28 Apr 2017 03:30:39 GMT

Hey again James;

I know your topic is more about the learning process to cope better with the afflictions of MI. So I'll tell you that 10 minutes into the conversation with my sis, I kicked into being present and found my voice.

What helped was the patience and caring of my sis. She went on as if it was a normal part of my day, and kept me talking. Without her help I would've been even more concerned and maybe not come out of it as easily.

Having people in our lives who get it, can allow us space to be ourselves and use the strategies we've learned without worrying about their responses to our symptoms. It's not just about us (re)learning, it's about educating our loved one's and giving them the tools to support us.

Kind thoughts;

Sara x

(Re)learning how to concentrate

james1 — Fri, 28 Apr 2017 04:06:20 GMT

Hey Sara,

I think you're right. I spend a lot of time trying to do things myself and it's really not healthy.

I do have a couple of friends who are supportive, I'm just perpetually afraid of losing them. So I suppose that's why I see my psychologist so often (twice a week)...ah, the journey is a long one indeed...

Thanks for the reply

James

(Re)learning how to concentrate

Starwolf — Fri, 28 Apr 2017 04:10:13 GMT

Great thoughts from great minds...

Every experience changes us, sometimes it is a barely perceptible shift, other times our very core is shaken. The truth is we can never be totally who we were yesterday.

I believe acceptance is a necessary step on the healing journey. But I don't think accepting damage as permanent is helpful. In my experience, some wounds take many years to heal but eventually do. I went through many phases that seemed terminal at the time...but they passed or eased. Some returned but eventually faded. Another thing which has been useful along my own journey is that some of the changes were of a positive nature. But a troubled mind finds it difficult to see those...pain can take attention away from all else. It took me a couple of decades to even realize that some of the changes were actually something to feel thankful for.

Of course, every journey is a very personal quest. But many have found that surprises do lurk around corners, some unwelcome, some a blessing. And yes, there are long, tedious stretches of unchanging landscape. I have found those the most difficult to be patient with. They're the ones that tend to slowly sap hope and faith.

It is during those that my own attention span equaled that of a grasshopper. The mind had nothing "solid" enough to hold on to so it leapt about from one thing to the next or ran around in vicious circles. Dissociation sure didn't help. I found it terrifying at times. This restlessness exhausts the mind so I found myself unable to follow anything through, may it be thoughts or actions. I guess it is what mental burn out feels like. Not to mention all the negative feelings that went with it...

And no, I didn't suddenly snap out of it. Living in Asia for a decade taught me that the mind can actually be tamed and trained...a concept that was never mentioned in the western cultures I had been exposed to. At first it was disbelief but I saw it at work. Saw that it did work. Disbelief turned into revelation.

It is the hardest, most demanding task I ever took on. Turning the tables on whatever controls us is not easy. I accept that it may not be for everybody. But it got me where I am today. This old boot is scuffed and worn but comfortable at last.

(Re)learning how to concentrate

Starwolf — Fri, 28 Apr 2017 04:15:19 GMT

Yes Sara, you got it...your sister kept your mind on track.

(Re)learning how to concentrate

quirkywords — Fri, 28 Apr 2017 05:19:17 GMT

James

Have you been reading my mind. I have always found it hard to concentrate especially when I was manic as I was easily distracted. Even now on medication I have a low concentration level and get impatient easily. I am ware of this and am working on it.

Sometimes when I am feeling down I can not concentrate.

Sara

You wrote

"Having people in our lives who get it, can allow us space to be ourselves and use the strategies we have learned without worrying about their responses to our symptoms."

I can relate so much to that . In the last year for some reason I sometimes have trouble thinking of a word- just a simple word and for someone like me who loves words- speaking, reading, talking and listening , it can be scary. Now I just take a deep breath and the word usually comes, if not, I use another word and move on. My friends and loved ones just wait for me and don't comment or judge. I do enough of that for everyone.

Thanks James and Sara for your thoughts.

Quirkywords

(Re)learning how to concentrate

Guest_322 — Fri, 28 Apr 2017 13:17:07 GMT

Hi James,

Poor concentration does sound very frustrating and possibly even disheartening at times. I imagine when your heart wants to do something, it's as though your mind isn't quite cooperating.

While I can't personally empathise with poor or compromised concentration, I still wanted to pop in to show my support.

Hopefully, with the right support and help, you'll find a way to manage any concentration struggles.

Dottie x

(Re)learning how to concentrate

MsPurple — Fri, 28 Apr 2017 13:57:49 GMT

HI James great topic

Today I have been struggling with today (and the last few days). I don't know why I am struggling at the moment. It comes and goes in waves. I think it gets aggrivated by my anxiety. I have reduced my medication about 2-3months ago (doctor approved and we are working together to reduce medication and keep anxiety under control because I want the least medication for the best management) and I'm not sure if that is helping with my concentration. That or maybe if I wore my glasses again (they are really weak and I got them only because I am dyslexic as well) I would concentrate better. I struggle the most when trying to read. I sometimes worry that when I'm talking to people that I'm looking like I am struggling to concentrate in the moment. I worry they can notices, then I get concerned that they know I have anxiety, then I worry if they think I am capable of doing my job etc. I kinda go from one thing that leads to something silly. IT comes from me struggling with concentration which kinda sucks. I find when I am not stressed it is better. I think I should do my meditation again cause I found that would help

Sorry I kinda went on a weird tangent there but I kinda just left it cause its meant to be on concentration issues. Hope you all have a good day.

(Re)learning how to concentrate

Kazzl — Fri, 28 Apr 2017 20:51:51 GMT

Hi James and everyone - yep, me too. I just wanted to share something I have found surprisingly helpful.

When I'm working I often have certain music on which I listen to through earphones. The music contains binaural beats and isochronic tones (think that's right) which they say works on the difference frequencies in the brain. I know it sounds iffy, and I was skeptical at first, by it works for me. (You do need the earphones).

If you google something like 'music for focus' or music for concentration, study etc, you'll find a heap of clips on YouTube. Try them out until you find one you like. Some are not so good, but others really do help me. I find they seem to take away the 'noise' in my head and make me more 'centred' somehow. Oh, and some are quite long - hours even - so you don't have to break your concentration to change them, they just carry on in the background.

I usually start with it up quite loud, so it engulfs me, then turn it down later if I need to.

Worth a shot.

Kaz

(Re)learning how to concentrate

quirkywords — Sat, 29 Apr 2017 07:09:45 GMT

Thanks Kaz

I will try it but my problem is I can never find earphones/headphones that don't fall out or annoy me.

When I worked with children with special needs over 20 years ago ,Mozart was recommended to calm them. I am not sure he is still in fashion. I will youtube and try it.

Hope you are feeling a bit less congested.

Quirkywords

(Re)learning how to concentrate

james1 — Mon, 01 May 2017 00:47:51 GMT

Hey Star,

Thanks for sharing your story. I feel like I can relate to a lot of what you're saying and if I was to switch pessimistic me off for a second, I'd say I'm doing what I can to get my external life as stable as possible, so I have a good platform to try and wrestle control back over my mind.

It's been a big transition outside of my mind recently so that's been tough, and I'm impatient by nature, but...getting there.

Hey quirkywords,

Yeah, I can certainly get really...well, manically impatient is the only way to describe it even though I don't have bipolar. The other day I got a bit triggered in my borderline symptoms and if I got caught, would've racked up well over $1000 in fines. Illegal u-turns, one-way roads, red lights, speeding...not my proudest "crazy" moment. And I was just trying to get to dinner, haha.

There was a lot of "I don't care" going on in my head at the time. I don't know how much I was really concentrating.

Hey Dottie,

Yeah certainly it happens with things like my writing where I want to be able to write but my head just goes, "Nope! Look, your keyboard is sans serif. Isn't that fascinating?" (I bet you checked yours just then! :P)

Hey Mrs Purple,

Yeah I totally get that. I actually mentioned it in a couple of replies to Star and Quirkywords...very very difficult to concentrate when triggered. And even when not, it could just be a matter of that mental burnout that Star talked about. That would make sense because we're so on edge all the time, that even when we're not, we're just plain tired.

Anyway, thanks for posting 🙂 It was a little tangent, but totally related and useful for discussion.

Hey Kaz,

I've never heard of that. I'll have to google it.

I know I use music anyway as a pseudo-meditation method because it gives me something to focus on, and somehow engages my brain in a way that drawing and writing and reading doesn't. But if there's a technical aspect to certain music, that'd be really cool.

Thanks all for the responses!!

James

(Re)learning how to concentrate

Just Sara — Mon, 01 May 2017 03:09:15 GMT

Dear James and everyone reading/posting;

Reading thru the thread, I've realized that acceptance was about how I'll never be able to 'do' what I used to; not so much 'being' who I used to be.

As Star says, evolving and developing comes in stages, some of those are positive and some are negative. But they're all acknowledged as progress.

Mindfulness changed my world more than any other tool, as it's helped me find peace from internal thoughts of fantasy, ruminating and pretend conversations I 'might' have or 'should've' had. I now recognize when I begin to disconnect from the present, then focus on my physical environment to bring me back. It's become a positive habit I thank God for just like driving a car; no more living moment to moment.

Reminding myself how I used to be at the height of my breakdown, then comparing it to things now, gives me hope and confidence I can cope with just about anything. Also, realizing there are certain environments/people that will probably trigger me forever more, tends to keep me in line with what's achievable and what's not. That's a learning process too.

We're all a work in progress, and the way I see it, we're heads and tails above those who prefer to live in ignorance. After all, we're the courageous one's that tread the path of a thousand steps assessing and learning as we go; that takes guts!

Warm thoughts to all;

Sara x

(Re)learning how to concentrate

azarrah — Tue, 09 May 2017 02:11:10 GMT

Hi there,

Difficulty concentrating can be very disheartening, and, if coupled with a struggling memory, can be straight-up scary. I have not had a good weekend and last night didn't notice the passing of about three hours...and thinking back, I could hardly remember what I had actually done. I was distraught. This morning, trying to allay my fears, I looked up a memory test online (so medically accurate, I know), and I passed fine. The point is that our minds are still working, they are just preoccupied.

I sometimes imagine a heavy curtain falling over my conciousness. I'm weighed down, struggling to hold it up; it can never fall completely, but I can't push it off, either. Now imagine that I have to play a game of chess whilst the curtain is falling down. I'm not going to do very well at the game, am I? This is similar to how your mind feels at the moment.

Concentration can be hard to find. I think it is often associated with motivation. You have to really want to do something, and mentally commit to it, before you can find "that zone" where you are working at your best. I have two, completely opposite suggestions. The first is to create a space in your house which is made specifically for working. Maybe it's a desk under a sun-drenched window, or maybe it's a cosy nook somewhere; whichever, it has to be relatively pleasant to be at. If you find yourself struggling to concentrate, leave that space and come back to try again when you feel ready. The idea is to train your mind to recognise that in this location, you are working productively.

My other suggestion is to go somewhere completely different. Try the local library, a quiet park, a small cafe, or maybe just a different room in your house. The act of forcing yourselve to move elsewhere for the purpose of working may resolve your mind to actually cooperate, because you made an assertive decision.

I hope these may help you a little. Good luck 🙂

(Re)learning how to concentrate

james1 — Tue, 09 May 2017 23:38:22 GMT

Hey sara/azarrah,

Sorry I haven't had a chance to post back. The last week has been super up and down for me. But I did read both your posts and they are uplifting and helpful; I'll have to have a better think when I'm less fuzzy in the head 🙂

Thanks

James

(Re)learning how to concentrate

Just Sara — Wed, 10 May 2017 04:11:03 GMT

No worries James;

Of all places, this is the one where understanding those times is totally validated. Knowing when to post and when life requires time-out, can be a hazard of sorts; I know this too well. A break is as good as a holiday...

Hey Aza and welcome to BeyondBlue!

Loved your post! You wrote...

'I have not had a good weekend and last night didn't notice the passing of about three hours...and thinking back, I could hardly remember what I had actually done'

You've described 'dissociation' in its simplest form. You then go on to talk about identifying a 'working place' in your home; rewiring pathways in the brain. What a great idea! Basically, this is the only way to change the habit of 'drifting off' into la-la land.

For me, driving was a dicey activity due to my la-la place. So when I began to drift off, I'd first have to catch myself doing it; that's an effort in itself. Once this was up and running, I'd squeeze the steering wheel and look at my hands, then the speedometer and then look back at the road. The grounding was instant! Straight out of my head and into my body.

This was the beginning of my journey learning to find peace in the moment. (Mindfulness) I started using the technique in my home and especially around family members who triggered me. It took a few months though to finally be able to do it without too much effort; now it's my new habit.

I'm proud of my accomplishment and more-so relieved it works. These days I catch myself in an instant, so it doesn't happen half as much as it used to and getting better as time passes.

You're doing great Aza! On ya! (Hope you don't mind, nick names create more space to write)

Kind thoughts..

Sara

(Re)learning how to concentrate

quirkywords — Wed, 10 May 2017 10:06:30 GMT

Sara

I am interested in your statement that Mindfulness more than other tool has changed your world.

I have tried so many times to do mindfulness but it doesn't seem to work for me at all.

I am not good at concentrating as I have so many thoughts in my head at once.

Am learning a lot in this thread.

quirky

(Re)learning how to concentrate

Just Sara — Thu, 11 May 2017 05:53:01 GMT

Hi Quirky; (shout-out to James and others reading)

Mindfulness can be different for everyone. My driving ritual suited me because I caught myself blacking out and not noticing until blocks down the road I woke up heading for a parked car. Danger Will Robinson!!

Although our sight, sound and smell is working while our conscious brain has a conversation with itself, the danger it can incur calls for immediate action. For those of us who live in a state of hyper arousal most of the time after a break-down for instance, it seems an impossible task...peace I mean.

The first thing is to identify the most annoying (or dangerous) moments it happens. For you it might be work or talking with your mum; the important times easy to identify.

Once you do this, it's a matter of catching yourself and try something physical and focused. I squeezed my steering wheel because it's a physical thing that requires my full attention.

All these physical things bring me back into my body and block the invasive thoughts. (Using different parts of the brain) Even though it worked really well the first time, I struggled for many weeks until it became a habit.

I think because it's such a dangerous activity to zone out, my resolve and determination was there, overriding the temptation to drift into dissociation mode. When sitting on my back porch with a coffee was challenged, there was no such resolve; I enjoyed it tbh. So it took longer to achieve.

Once I learned this technique worked though, it gave me confidence to move onto more mundane activities.

TV/radio used to set me off into big time anxiety; I turned them off. Because I really wanted to watch telly, I forced myself to identify when the anxiety started, then took a deep breath and told myself I was sitting in my room and was safe...tv was entertainment, a way to stop feeling lonely. Self talk (out loud) is a great way to undo the hold our minds have on us. But used too often, especially if you begin having conversations, can lead to more dysfunction.

Those invasive thoughts have great power as you know, but intelligence is our best asset. We trick the brain into thinking we're totally safe in our bodies.

I hope this helps; if it doesn't, ask me questions ok?

Take care...

Sara x

(Re)learning how to concentrate

The_Abyss — Thu, 11 May 2017 06:14:00 GMT

Hi James -

no solution from me right now, but just wanted to tag your thread so I could come back to it later. Right now I am procrastinating as I struggle to concentrate!!!