topic I need help but don't want to talk to anybody in Depression

I need help but don't want to talk to anybody

Unknown76 — Tue, 05 Jul 2016 04:29:51 GMT

I feel empty, like there is nothing in life anymore. I go to work at a place i hate with a passion and then go home and sleep all the time.

Yeah i know i have to talk to a profession or anybody but i over that, enough I don't want to do that and if thats what somebody is going tomtell me to do then this is no help.

I can't breath anymore, medication not working nothing is working.

I need help but don't want to talk to anybody

Puppies — Tue, 05 Jul 2016 04:47:14 GMT

Hi there,

Therapy is often the best option but it depends on the person. If the medication isn't working then there are always other medications you could try.

This is a good site to be on though because there are posts you will definitely be able to relate to and people you can discuss experiences with.

I hope things turn around for you

I need help but don't want to talk to anybody

Lost_Girl — Tue, 05 Jul 2016 04:56:37 GMT

Hi Unknown,

I am sorry to hear you're feeling so low. Going to a job you hate each day wears you down after a while doesn't it.

Sleeping all the time can be a sign that you have gone past just feeling low. It can be a sign of depression. Have you been diagnosed before? It sounds like you have been on, or ate on, meds of some sort, are they antidepressants?

There are many types and sometimes it takes a few tries for the GP to find the right one. It is also possible for meds to stop being effective after being on them for some time.

Are you in a position to look for a different job?

A few other ideas that could help depending on how you're feeling can be; walking or getting some exercise can help with energy levels and stop you feeling sleepy. Looking up some information on mindfulness on the web and see if that helps. If you type Palouse Mindfulness into the web you will find a site my psych recommended - all free.

I also find that having something outside of work that I like doing can help. Do you have any hobbies or interests?

I have been a bit general with my response but if you give some more detail perhaps we can talk through it.

Kind thoughts,

Carol

I need help but don't want to talk to anybody

Doolhof — Tue, 05 Jul 2016 06:00:45 GMT

Hi Unknown,

Welcome to the community here at Beyond Blue. So many people here will have experienced the same or something very similar to how you are feeling right now.

Okay, so at present you don't feel like talking to professionals about how you are feeling, hopefully by sharing your thoughts and feelings here, you can relive some of the depression you are feeling.

If you are interested, there is a lot of information available from Beyond Blue that you could read relating to depression and how to help yourself.

There is a phone help line as well you could use if you are so depressed you don't know what to do. I have used them a few times. The people answering the phone are friendly and helpful, willing to listen and offer advice if you want it.

On this forum there are "happy and relaxed" threads as well under the Social Zone section. You might like to join in with some of the more light hearted threads like the BB Cafe maybe, which is a virtual cafe where people pop in and say gooday.

As Carol mentioned, there are many things we can each do to try and help ourselves through depression.

How would you like us to help you?

Do you want ideas on how to cope with depression?

Or do you want to share how you are feeling and hopefully release some of the frustration you are experiencing?

For me, I know that sometimes I don't know what will help me or what I want! I understand that as well.

Hope some of this helps.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

I need help but don't want to talk to anybody

JessF — Tue, 05 Jul 2016 06:29:49 GMT

Hello Unknown76, you sound very tired and fed up. This is what depression does to us. It's horrible, it makes you angry, it drains you, it makes you feel empty as you do.

I'm not going to suggest to talk to somebody right at the moment, other than saying that one of the other things depression does is make us work against our own best interests. For example, exercise has been proven to work to help depression, but when we are depressed the last thing we want to do is move! Not eating well will make us feel bad, but depression drains our motivation to make meals, or sometimes eat at all. Recognising that not everything your brain is telling you is the truth I have found is a good place to start when feeling very low.

I hope you'll come back and talk with us more as Carol has suggested. You say you have tried everything, perhaps you might like to tell us a bit more about what's going on for you at the moment and what things you have been trying so we can work out some ideas together.

I need help but don't want to talk to anybody

Unknown76 — Tue, 05 Jul 2016 16:39:02 GMT

Thank you all for the posts I really appreciate it.

I have been on meds since Feb, were they helping? I don't know but live was just borderline bearable but about a month ago i started deteriorating again. I get these small energy boosts here and there to do something i enjoy but they are short lived and sometimes I don't even see through what i start.

I should have had a follow-up appointment with my Doc 2-3 weeks ago but didn't go. I'm tired of telling them its not working and then being told the obvious. Excersise, eat healthy and so on, i know that will help but I can't be bothered doing it. I know what can help the issue is there is no energy to do it. Its as if im under water i need to breath but I can't get my head above to breath. I know i need to breath its no help telling me to put my head above water.

One other thing that really gets me is when greated and then the question is asked "How are you?" its all in good intentions but just inside me thinking about my answer "I'm good thanks" drives me crazy as I'm NOT good or if you answer "I'm alright thank you" then you might get the reaction "Only alright?" then what do you say?

I don't know everything is so confusing, they slightest thing can get to me and then i'll over analyse it.

I need help but don't want to talk to anybody

Seth — Tue, 05 Jul 2016 18:35:04 GMT

My heart goes out to you. I know that doesn't help.

To say you're not alone is a massive understatement. Depending on what "expert" you listen to we are in the midst of epidemic or pandemic.

There are passive things you can do.

>>>Get your vitamin D levels up

lay in the sun or get a good supplement
one study showed low levels of D--11 times better chance of depression - American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry December 2006; 14(12): 1032-1040

>>>Fantastic findings on neuroplasticity front

Literally: "the brain takes the shape the mind rests upon"

"There’s a traditional saying that the mind takes the shape it rests upon; the modern update is that the brain takes the shape the mind rests upon. For instance, if you regularly rest your mind upon worries, self criticism, and anger, then your brain will gradually take that shape – will develop neural structures and dynamics of anxiety, low sense of worth, and prickly reactivity to others. On the other hand, if you regularly rest your mind upon, for example noticing you’re all right right now, seeing the good in yourself and letting go…then your brain will gradually take the shape of calm strength, self confidence, and inner peace." --Rick Hansen, PhD

>>>You mentioned diet

Gear up! Cowboy up! Fight for it.

You don't have to be perfect, start by eating things that will make your gut feel it's best.

>>>You don't want to exercise but what if it was the most powerful medicine on earth for depression!

Take your medicine (exercise) if you can! 30 minutes of walking 3 times per week has been shown to work wonders.

>>>Depression causes stress, stress causes depression. It is a vicious spiral down. Stop should's, could's, ought to's exercise; find some stress relief method

FIGHT FOR A GOOD LIFE

I need help but don't want to talk to anybody

geoff — Tue, 05 Jul 2016 19:16:40 GMT

hi Unknown, they do suggest exercise but when my psychologist kept on telling me that I said 'how can I do any exercise when I don't even feel like doing it', some people are able to do this while other people like you or me can not get the energy to do.
We often have a solution but because our mind is not positive we are unable to do it, this is something that continually went through my mind, but there was no spark to get me going, even after other suggestions my psychologist had mentioned to me, sure while I was with her I said I'll try but as soon as I left that all went out the window.
You say 'analyse it', doesn't that happen all the time but it just confusing what our intentions are, and that's why you don't do anything, and when someone asks you how you are, be honest to yourself and tell them you're feeling s******e, there is no reason why you have to hide it, tell them straight out how you feel, because if you disguise your feelings then you won't be able to start a recovery for yourself. Geoff.

I need help but don't want to talk to anybody

White_Rose — Tue, 05 Jul 2016 22:36:04 GMT

Dear Unknown

Hello and welcome to Beyond Blue. I see some of the wonderful people at BB have talked about their experiences and offered you support. Welcome to the family.

All the things you have described indicate depression, a place we have all been to and now and then drop in, albeit reluctantly. It's a place where the Black Dog does what it likes and makes your life a misery. I have found that looking at my depression as this dog is quite helpful. Like most dogs it is friendly and wants to lick you to death while trying to get up on your lap. What it needs is dog obedience lessons.

Do you think it would help if you saw your depression as a dog? Teaching it to walk to heel will not remove it from your life but will help to start your journey. I imagine my dog jumping around in front of me and barking its head off to get my attention. I call the dog over to me and give it a cuddle and say I want you to walk behind me today. I bet that sounds silly to you, but it works. In some ways we need to embrace our depression and makes friends with it, instead of fighting.

Jess has commented on how depression makes us work against our best interests and this is so true. We believe anything bad about us is correct because our brains tell us so. So make your depression a dog, one you want to make friends with, one you are going to train to walk at heel.

Unknown, you have all our support because we have been there and know that place. Let us hold your hand and help you to leave that place. As Jess and Mrs Dools have said, tell us bit more about yourself and what you would like from us.

Mary

I need help but don't want to talk to anybody

Lost_Girl — Tue, 05 Jul 2016 23:25:58 GMT

Hi Unknown,

It sounds to me like you need a new GP. I struggled to get out of bed on my worst days. Other days I couldn't even move from my chair to go and eat. The meds were a life saver for me but it took a while to get sorted as I had bad side effects to the first one. Once they worked though, all those feelings changed and it was easier to get up. I felt less heavy, less foggy and a lot less despondent. I don't think I could have pulled myself out of that dark place without the meds.

I too got sick of people asking how I was. Even now I use the phrase "I'm getting there". I had friends suggesting walks, sitting in the sun, doing "happy" things....none of which I could do early on. This is why I had mentioned to you the advice very much depends on where you are right now.

While I was lucky with my GP, I suffer from chronic pain and I had to sack my neurologist and physiotherapist and getting new ones was the best thing I could have done. I wonder if you'd have more success with a new GP. It doesn't sound right that the GP is suggesting exercise etc as a response to no change from the meds and when you feel the way you do.

Kind thoughts,

Carol

I need help but don't want to talk to anybody

Rob57 — Sun, 03 Feb 2019 07:54:23 GMT

This is my first post! I am going through hell with my anxiety and depression. To be honest I can’t understand how this hideous disease can be so debilitating. I suffer from the time I wake till the time I go to bed. I have tried medication, but it just doesn’t seem to work! My Dr has mentioned ect but I am extremely sceptical about this treatment. I’m a 61 year old male who has had this anxiety and depression for 12 months now! It’s not getting any better so maybe I’m willing to try anything to get my sanity back.

I need help but don't want to talk to anybody

geoff — Sun, 03 Feb 2019 16:41:59 GMT

Hi Rob, welcome to the site and thanks for posting your comment.

It is sad that this illness can destroy our lifestyle, wreck our ability to think clearly and create havoc within ourselves because it is debilitating, it doesn't understand what love is, nor does it want us to make friends, it's a long battle with overwhelming sadness, grief, and a feeling of guilt.

I am not qualified to say, only you and your doctor can make this decision, however, I'm 63 and been through depression and anxiety for a long time and know what it's done to my life, now I hope I've overcome all of this, although relapses have occurred.

I know how you would be feeling but has there been any other options offered to you, like being admitted to hospital, having counselling and I know that it took several different types of antidepressants (AD) before my GP found the one which helps me.

Have you been able to read any other different comments?

Hope to hear back from you.

Geoff

I need help but don't want to talk to anybody

Doolhof — Sun, 03 Feb 2019 19:55:09 GMT

Hi Rob,

Welcome to the community here. I see that Geoff has welcomed yo and responded to you. It is great you feel comfortable to share your story here.

I would like to suggest, that if you feel comfortable to do so, you might like to start up your own thread, that way you may receive more replies and comments.

If you don't feel comfortable doing that, it is okay, we can chat with you here.

Sorry to read you are experiencing depression and anxiety. Like Geoff, I have had these conditions for a very long time.

Writing how I am feeling helps me. so hopefully by sharing here, you may be able to better understand what you are experiencing.

Trying to understand depression and how it affects me helps me as well. The more I know, the more I can help myself.

If you don't mind me asking, have you been to a psychologist to seek ways and strategies that can help you through each day? One psychologist told me the more I fight the illness, the worse it can become. He suggested I try to accept the days I am struggling as my reality for that period of time, then to try and do something to push through it.

Hopefully you will feel comfortable here on the forum and you can be supported and listened to.

Cheers for now from Dools

I need help but don't want to talk to anybody

girl8 — Wed, 12 Aug 2020 10:51:25 GMT

I need help. I constantly hid how I feel from everyone I know. a few close friends know but I they struggle to. i know I'm not going live past my twenties and I don't see myself having a future. i need to get help but my parents don't know how I feel. i cant tell them because they wont believe me and think I'm dramatic. everytime I eat I feel guilty. i feel guilty for just living. i already have constant s******l thoughts and I feel selfish for thinking about that because I feel like I'm just going to take the attention. i cant because my family will think they didn't check up on me. everyone will feel bad and then again, that leaves me feeling selfish. my mind is like a warzone to my own body. i don't feel right in my own body and I cry everyday before I shower looking in the mirror. i feel unworthy. tbh, I'm just tired. I'm tired of hurting and feeling like a piece of sh*t everyday. i will not leave you with my name but I'm 13 and I'm giving myself 7 years to get better.

I need help but don't want to talk to anybody

Sophie_M — Wed, 12 Aug 2020 11:07:29 GMT

Hey girl8,

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums. We're so sorry to hear that you're struggling with these dark thoughts at the moment, but please know that you don't have to go through this on your own. These forums are a safe, non-judgemental space to talk about your thoughts and feelings, and our wonderful community is here to provide you with as much support, advice and conversation as you need.

Our Support Service are also trying to reach out to you via email as we are worried about you.

We hope you know that there is always help available to you. We think it's really strong of you and so important that you have been able to recognise you need some help and seeking it. We'd really recommend reaching out to our friends at Kids Helpline- they are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under. The lovely counsellors are available 24/7 on 1800 55 1800 or you can also get in touch through their webchat anytime at https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling/

We would also strongly urge that in overwhelming moments you get in touch with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).

If you would like to post further, please feel free to tell us more about what's on your mind and how we can best support you through this. You're also welcome to create a new thread to share your journey and expand on these thoughts and feelings, and our community can offer support and advice to help you through this.

I need help but don't want to talk to anybody

RoseQuartz — Wed, 12 Aug 2020 11:35:07 GMT

Hi Unknown76,

I know you are disappointed right now, but things can improve based on some new approaches to drive some change. It may take time so please be patient and don't give up. Nothing good comes easy 🙂

As humans we are formed with a gift of emotional and behavioural indicators that help us know when something is not aligned to what we value / believe or want. It is a very important function you do not want to mute with medication or sleep because you want to know when something is wrong to help pull yourself out and treat yourself with a new alignment which lets you reach a different lifestyle for the current point of time.

By taking notice this is showing your self a lot of care and respect. Well done observing! Also it comes across like you have invested a bit of time in reflection too because you said that work in particular did not inspire you right now.

Upfront, I am not a professional, naturally I want the best for you and would say contact our specialized team at Beyond Blue for resources that are friendly and helpful.

Lastly, have you tried creating a list like what you enjoy doing, the dream job position or environment you may want and looking at skills you may have or want to have? Wish lists and goals are very motivating, who knows it may keep you awake from sleeping because you are so interested in this. If there's ways to get exposure into a different company or new field do volunteering, apply for jobs, research or listen to free podcasts. You have got this! I can't wait to see the endless things you will achieve.

Keep smiling!

I need help but don't want to talk to anybody

girl8 — Thu, 13 Aug 2020 07:12:37 GMT

i am okay now.

I need help but don't want to talk to anybody

Guest_498 — Fri, 14 Aug 2020 15:48:43 GMT

Hi Unknown,

I currently feel as you do and I don't go to therapy either. I cannot go talk to one. I cry most nights and at 'the drop of a hat'. At times I cry uncontrollably. Therapy isn't for everyone. We all manage pain, sadness & trauma in our own way - people cannot tell you that talking to a 'professional' is the best method, it isn't always best. I think sometimes it makes you feel worst. Good company, kind-hearted people and empathy is always a better alternative, if you're fortunate enough to have them. Try to keep your chin up, reach out here when you're feeling terrible. We're here for you.

I need help but don't want to talk to anybody

Guest_498 — Fri, 14 Aug 2020 17:20:01 GMT

You say that you need help, but don't want to talk to anybody. You don't have to talk to anybody if you don't want to. It's not an absolute MUST to go to therapy. And what do you need help with?

I need help but don't want to talk to anybody

Jasjit — Fri, 14 Aug 2020 23:38:27 GMT

Hi Unknown,

After reading your original posts and follow up posts, I strongly feel you have the insight into what is currently bothering you!! Good work on that!! You know exactly what is your problem!! Guess what now? Half of the battle is already won.

So how can we accomplish the other half of the battle? Personally, I feel you could bring a lifestyle change.

What I will be suggesting may sound obvious but you could try it for a week and if it does not work please let me know! So just for a week, try going vegan (only consuming whole food plants based diet free of additives, preservatives, etc.) with vigorous exercise combined with meditation and yoga practices. If you do this for a week, you could see excellent results!! Your mood and energy could skyrocket!! You will start living your life. Right now you might feel frustrated on why things are not working out - which is completely fine but what matters right now is the next step!!!

Please try this and tell me how you go. I would really like to help and support you.

Talk to you soon.