https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/ground-collapsing-beneath-my-feet/m-p/261883#M28576 <P>Gods, I wonder sometimes what I did in this life or a past one, to earn my lot in life currently. </P> <P>I'm 24, diagnosed with major depression, anxiety, and chronic fatigue syndrome. I'm 20+ kg heavier than my 'usual' weight. I'm utterly broke and unable to work but knocked back by Centrelink. I could go on.</P> <P>It seems that every time I feel as if I've hit rock bottom, the ground collapses under me and I fall further. </P> <P>My partner used to be the kind of person who would hold me and fit all my pieces back together. Now I feel like he's standing there gaping at the volume of pieces shattering from me, struggling to cope himself with my issues.</P> <P>How long before I truly hit rock bottom and start ascending again? What must I endure before I'm permitted to recover my life?</P> <P>I don't recognise myself in the mirror. I don't feel like myself at all. I feel as if I'm watching myself in an out-of-body experience, I'm struggling that much to comprehend that this is actually my life. That this is all just a long and very bad dream I must surely waken from soon. </P> <P>All energy and passion for life is drained from me. Anything I've ever wanted or enjoyed doing continues to slip through my fingers.</P> <P>I'm an utter mess, and I don't know what to do anymore.</P> Sun, 03 Jul 2016 17:09:10 GMT LittleA 2016-07-03T17:09:10Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/ground-collapsing-beneath-my-feet/m-p/261883#M28576 <P>Gods, I wonder sometimes what I did in this life or a past one, to earn my lot in life currently. </P> <P>I'm 24, diagnosed with major depression, anxiety, and chronic fatigue syndrome. I'm 20+ kg heavier than my 'usual' weight. I'm utterly broke and unable to work but knocked back by Centrelink. I could go on.</P> <P>It seems that every time I feel as if I've hit rock bottom, the ground collapses under me and I fall further. </P> <P>My partner used to be the kind of person who would hold me and fit all my pieces back together. Now I feel like he's standing there gaping at the volume of pieces shattering from me, struggling to cope himself with my issues.</P> <P>How long before I truly hit rock bottom and start ascending again? What must I endure before I'm permitted to recover my life?</P> <P>I don't recognise myself in the mirror. I don't feel like myself at all. I feel as if I'm watching myself in an out-of-body experience, I'm struggling that much to comprehend that this is actually my life. That this is all just a long and very bad dream I must surely waken from soon. </P> <P>All energy and passion for life is drained from me. Anything I've ever wanted or enjoyed doing continues to slip through my fingers.</P> <P>I'm an utter mess, and I don't know what to do anymore.</P> Sun, 03 Jul 2016 17:09:10 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/ground-collapsing-beneath-my-feet/m-p/261883#M28576 LittleA 2016-07-03T17:09:10Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/ground-collapsing-beneath-my-feet/m-p/261884#M28577 hi LA, there are certainly times in our life we scratch our heads and wonder why is all of this happening.<BR /> Can I ask why centrelink has not accepted your application and whether you had letters from your doctor to add to your application before I continue. Geoff. Sun, 03 Jul 2016 18:54:32 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/ground-collapsing-beneath-my-feet/m-p/261884#M28577 geoff 2016-07-03T18:54:32Z