topic Introduction, mental stress causing physical pain in Depression

Introduction, mental stress causing physical pain

Shipsta — Fri, 01 Jul 2016 00:14:59 GMT

Hello everyone,

26, Male, Adelaide, Husband, Father (of 1)

The history of my relationship with depression over the past few years is up and down to say the least so I’ll try and explain it as briefly. During my early twenties I was experiencing a lot of muscle pain and migraines, after seeing all sorts of practitioners the symptoms basically went undiagnosed. They were preventing me from doing what I loved most which was sport and physical exercise. When I left Uni and traveled interstate to commence full time work for the first time, I now had the money to spend to investigate these issues further. So I spent 1000’s of dollars visiting physios, osteopaths, doctors, chiros, exercise physiologists, doing training programs etc. None of these people could find a problem and the pain was becoming worse and worse and ended up being the only thing I could think of. It got to the point where I just broke down. I couldn’t think anymore, I was depressed, in pain etc. It was affecting my work, my relationship, everything. At this point I came to the conclusion that it had to be me, so in tears I sort the help of a psychologist. It was then when I realised that I was under constant stress (relationship, uni, sport, work) and was on edge all the time. From an early age, I just wanted everything to be perfect and didn't have an off switch. I was convinced that due to my personality, I just put way too much pressure on myself all the time which caused the muscle pain and now the mental problems.

For the past 6 months I have been on anti-depressants, practised mindfulness meditation, adopted adaptogen herbs, exercised, maintained sleep and focussed on reducing stress. This has helped somewhat to the point I can function again, however I still go through the fight, flight and freeze response (to varying degrees) throughout a weekly period. Some days, I just can’t think and this will last for almost a week, where my productivity plummets. This used to stress me out further, however I have learned to roll with the punches more and wait for the episode to be over. As it seems the more
I do this, the fewer and farther in between these episodes occur. Right now, I am going through heavy a brain freeze/fog period, so just writing this post is difficult.

I could go on forever talking about this but I am coming close to the word limit, so I will stop it here for now and look forward to any responses of people going through anything similar.

Introduction, mental stress causing physical pain

blondguy — Mon, 04 Jul 2016 15:47:01 GMT

Hello Shipsta

Im sorry for the delay for the response. We are usually quick in responding to posts.

You have been through so much pain. You have also been so pro-active with healing too. I have had acute anxiety that started in 1983 when I was 23. It did take time to get a handle on this mongrel of a disorder....years. I understand where you are coming from.

Some good news for you, the severity of the anxiety will dissipate with regular counseling from a good GP/therapist.

I know you have moved mountains where being pro-active is being concerned and good on you for doing so.

Just what worked 'for me'.....I had to seek help in the mid 80's from a community mental health worker from my local council. They sent out a young guy...a psychiatric nurse...and I thought...oh my goodness.

In a nutshell...this young nurse saw me twice a week for six months and saved me. He counseled me better than any psychologist/psychiatrist I have ever met. He made me cry and 'vent' about my issues. It was awful at the time but I didnt realise that sometimes we have to feel worse in order to recover.

If I may ask you, do have a good GP that you can start with? I am lucky now that I have found a legend of a GP that has an interest in mental health. The anxiety is nothing more than a bad memory..

I am sorry for the delay....I hope you can respond and talk to us. You are more than welcome to post as many times as you wish.

Anxiety and its 'feelings' do take time to heal....

My kindest wishes

Paul

Introduction, mental stress causing physical pain

White_Rose — Mon, 04 Jul 2016 21:13:18 GMT

Dear Shipsta

Hello and welcome to Beyond Blue. Like Paul, I also apologise that no one has responded to your post earlier. This does not usually happen but occasionally one slips through to the keeper. We are here now to talk with you.

I fully understand the muscle pain you have described. I was diagnosed with post viral fatigue, not the same condition as you but similar in terms of muscle pain. I was away from work for the best part of six months. And I cannot take anti-inflammatory medication because it causes too much pain elsewhere.

The psychologist I used to see for my depression often commented when I had aches in shoulders, neck and arms, "Listen to your body". He said the same as your psych, my pain was due to the tension in my life. So two different causes of pain in my life. The tension pain was not as intense or as debilitating as the first condition, but enough to let me know I needed to do something about. I have a wonderful physio who helped me heaps as well as the psych. Now I can recognise what is happening and do something about. I am pleased to say I have very little of that type of pain these days.

Being a bit of a perfectionist does bring its own set of difficulties and it sounds as though you have found this out the hard way. Now you are moving ahead and managing your pain quite well. Congratulations.

What are adaptogen herbs? I have not heard of these before. I presume this is a group of herbs that manage muscle pain, but perhaps they work in the mental health area. I am interested in knowing what they are. If you want to talk about these please be careful not to mention the names of these preparation.

The dreaded three F's in action. I think most people here have experienced these. I am sad you have this experience so often. It takes up so much of your life recovering from this. Do you still see a psychologist? I imagine this would be very helpful.

Learning to roll with punches is exactly what we need to do and well done for learning this very difficult skill. Just when I think everything is under control something comes out of left field and reminds me I am not yet perfect (smile). I cannot master the art of putting in smiley faces.

Please continue to write in here.

Mary

Introduction, mental stress causing physical pain

romantic_thi3f — Tue, 05 Jul 2016 01:55:24 GMT

Hi Shipsta,

Welcome aboard and thanks for posting.

Man am I glad you finally got some answers. Your post resonated with me a lot. I'm also an Adelaide-an and I've struggled big time with health issues. I've jumped from Doctor to Doctor and got told over and over again to 'stop stressing and deal with it'. So I can definately relate to what you've been experiencing.

I'm glad that you've managed to find a few different ways to help manage what's been going on for you. I know mindfulness mediation was a big one for me. Learning to 'roll with the punches' as you say is not easy, but it does make you more resilient and it does make things easier in the long run with your health.

Hope you find a few posts and people around here you can relate to - feel free to post again and ask questions or just chat when your brain is a little less foggy!

Introduction, mental stress causing physical pain

Shipsta — Tue, 05 Jul 2016 02:00:04 GMT

Thank you to you both for replying. I must admit I did wonder if I was going to get a response there for a bit!

@Paul;

I saw a good GP who refereed me to a good psychiatrist in WA, however since moving back to SA i have not seen another specialist. I have recently got in contact with the psychiatrist to see whether we can give me a referral for someone in SA. Thank you for your comment concerning being proactive. I have certainly tried to be as much as I can, I do not want to leave any stone un-turned with respect to getting better.

@Mary:

Glad to hear you have experienced similar pain in the past and have overcome it. Did you find that when you got sick i.e common cold or flu your muscles would tighten up further? In addition, did you experience any brain fog? This too seems very prevalent with my condition and seems to come and go, along with worsen when I get common illnesses as well.

With regards to Adaptogen herbs, I was going to paste a link but I am not sure whether the post would get blocked. If you google them there is a host of information available but basically they are 'supposed' to help your body in adapting to stress and help both your adrenal and nervous system. I am not sure the research is completely sound but I am giving them a go anyway. The herbs include Ashwaganda, Ginseng etc. and are readily available at pharmacies without a script.

Introduction, mental stress causing physical pain

blondguy — Wed, 06 Jul 2016 01:17:42 GMT

Hi Shipsta

Thanks for posting back! That brain fog can be a pain. There is a poster on here called Starwolf and she said it was like walking around with a heavy blanket over our head thus making it hard to find our way.

Have you had any joy with a psychologist at all?

Kind thoughts

Paul

Introduction, mental stress causing physical pain

Shipsta — Wed, 06 Jul 2016 07:00:42 GMT

Hi Paul,

Certainly is. I saw a psychologist in WA for a number of weeks. This was during my worst period. She basically made me realise that I was not in control of my thoughts and they way that I dealt with them or reacted to them was what counted. Because of these sessions, I realised that I was not crazy (like I thought I was). Since then I have basically tried to disregard any negative/unpleasant thought as just that and not a reflection of who I am (even though difficult at times). What was and is still frustrating, is that I appear to have an irrational over sensitivity to negative thoughts / emotions which I never used to have, which is what triggers my anxiety. So what logically appears to be a small problem to myself, my 'brain' seems to recognise it as a large problem. This is where I am hoping the medication, reducing stress philosophy, exercising and healthy eating etc. will come into play whereby hopefully over time, it will improve my reaction to perceived stressful thoughts / emotions.

Introduction, mental stress causing physical pain

Doolhof — Wed, 06 Jul 2016 07:34:14 GMT

Hi Shipsta and Everyone reading this excellent thread,

There have been some very beneficial points made here regarding pain/depression/anxiety and stress.

My problem is keeping up with all the things that I know are beneficial for me.

I have a mixture of pain caused by medical conditions and then pain in muscles due to stress.

When the pain is bad, the depression is worse, when the stress is bad the muscles tighten.

Various Drs and Psychiatrists/psychologist have talked about "Pain clinics" but when I inquire further, nothing seems to progress.

I've tried acupuncture, Pilates, Physio, Osteopaths, massage, traction, pills, potions, meditation, mindfulness, stretches, swimming, walking, just about everything you can imagine except the two fish being banged together above your body. Does anyone remember that commercial on t.v.?

Someone mentioned brain fog. Years ago I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue and had it quite badly for a couple of years. I felt like I had more than brain fog, I felt like my brain had gone out for a walk and forgot to return. Ha. Ha.

Depression, stress and pain can certainly help to make the brain feel like it just doesn't know how to work properly any more.

The most stressful thing I find with my pain is not being able to do the things I want to do. I just have to try and do things in a different manner and make the most out of each day.

When my back was at its worst, I made a 1 metre square quilt while lying on my back, all hand stitched. It was a bit difficult working out how to use a sewing machine on such an angle. Another ha. ha.

Wishing you all a pain free day!

Cheers from Mrs. Dools

Introduction, mental stress causing physical pain

White_Rose — Wed, 06 Jul 2016 12:37:20 GMT

Hello Shipsta

Yes, I remember brain fog at times. Memory was the worst bit. I couldn't remember names and places and worst of all there were times when I didn't realise I was using the wrong name. It was quite scary. The good news is that as I got well the brain also improved. Maybe if the body is stressed the brain doesn't get enough blood supply and therefore oxygen. That's only a guess but it correct it would account for much.

Depression on its own can really give us the run around. I know how the slightest obstacle or event can have us running for the hills. Have you tried writing down all the good things about you, what you can do, your personality etc and pin it up somewhere. Or make several copies and post them around the house. Then when your brain starts playing the old record of how stupid/incompetent/ lazy/etc you are, take a look at the nearest list and 'know' which is the real you. It's amazing how quickly we can forget that we have skills and talents, that we are lovable good. But that depression for you.

I see you have discovered you are not crazy. Congratulations. This is a horrible feeling, wondering if you are after all completely nuts. If it helps I would say many of the folk who write in here have had the same thought.

Hang in there my friend. You are making all the right moves, it just takes time for everything to get together.

Mary

Introduction, mental stress causing physical pain

blondguy — Sun, 17 Jul 2016 16:00:04 GMT

Hi Shipsta

I hope you are still on the forums. I have re-read your post and noticed something you wrote "So what logically appears to be a small problem to myself, my 'brain' seems to recognise it as a large problem"

Well said....this is a real pain (and common) with a 'tired' mind or a over sensitised nervous system. You are doing everything so well. The meds will provide you with a platform on which you can use to practice the coping mechanisms available to heal even further 🙂

We are still here and hoping you are doing okay Shipsta

My Best

Paul

Introduction, mental stress causing physical pain

Shipsta — Wed, 12 Dec 2018 02:26:46 GMT

Thank you once again for everyone who has responded to my posts last time. The last time i posted i wrote a lot about the anxiety/depressions symptoms I was experiencing and ways I was trying to manage them. A few years on there has been common theme to obtrusive thoughts that I wanted to air on in this forum to hopefully get peoples opinion on.

When I spoke about my nervous breakdown which had me first sought the help of the psychologist I initially (and still do) blame my now wife. To elaborate I met my wife young (when i was 16), although my intention at that age was not a lasting relationship (as it wouldn't be) we have stuck with each other since. However, since my breakdown, I rarely have any positive thoughts towards her even though I know she does so much for me. My brain (so i guess me) has continuous obtrusive thoughts of leaving the relationship blaming her for my anxiety, feeling trapped in the relationship, unable to do the things I want to achieve in life (what those things are I don't know anymore). It constantly recalls all the bad times in the relationship including all her flaws over the years. At some points not even being able to look at her without getting an influx of anxiety. It feels like being with her is me living a lie with all these thoughts running around in my head about not wanting to be with her even though logically assessing my relationship with her current and past there's no reason why it shouldn't work. She probably does over and above her fair share of the work along with putting up with my ups and downs.

The problem is that what I have noticed about my depression/anxiety trends over the past few years is that if I try and accept my relationship with my wife as normal (which I logically think it is) ignore the obtrusive thoughts and try to get on with life (work, kids, social events) then my symptoms of memory problems, fatigue, brain fog, sore right eye, head pressure, twitching lips unable to cope with any stress get worse and now I can barely function again.

This leads me wanting to leave the relationship to see whether my anxiety/depression and associated symptoms will get better. I guess my question is does anyone else have such negative thoughts towards their partner like i do and do you deal with them? Also, does anyone think that these thoughts could potentially be causing my anxiety, rather than the anxiety causing the thoughts? I had a lot to cover so I hope it all makes sense

Introduction, mental stress causing physical pain

quirkywords — Wed, 12 Dec 2018 05:04:24 GMT

Shipsta,

Thanks for coming back with an update.

Relationships can be difficult at the best of times then throw in mental health issues and it can be exhausting working out what affects what.

I know for me that I can be miserable in a relationship or when single. Sometimes a partner can upset me and cause me to be very sad but equally I am capable of being depressed all by myself.

I understand how you feel the that you may need to leave the relationship but there are also good parts . Were you depressed and anxious before you were married?

Only you can work out what makes your mental health worse or better?

How do you imagine your life if you do leave your wife?

Thanks again for letting us know how you are going.?

Quirky

Introduction, mental stress causing physical pain

Shipsta — Wed, 12 Dec 2018 06:41:03 GMT

Thanks for your quick response quirkywords.

In relation to your question 'if I was depressed and anxious before I was married?' I guess I do not know. As we met when we were 16 we have been together ever since (apart from being on and off a bit during the early stages). I am now 29 and we got married when I was 27. If I think back to when I was 16 before I met her and I do recall some levels of social anxiety I suppose but no recollection of depression.

When I compare my symptoms of anxiety to those experienced when I was 16 or younger my symptoms now are far worse and varied to the point I can barely get through a day.

When I imagine my life if I left my wife my feelings are mixed. On one hand I feel relief that my obtrusive thoughts towards her will now have less meaning as I would not be with her anymore. But on the other hand, my life without her would be very much harder considering the amount she supports me and does around the house i.e cooking, cleaning, looking after the kids, organising events etc. Not only that but I would be leaving my kids which is something I promised myself I would never do given the pain my parents caused me when I was a child.

On top of the above if I did leave, there's a good chance that the symptoms did still persist and I would find something else to worry about!

I guess I have always hoped that there was a distinct cause of the anxiety / depression, although I don't hope that it is my wife, the obtrusive thoughts lead me to believe she could be the cause, when in fact it well could be something completely different or no reason at all!

It doesn't make sense to me how my thoughts say one thing, and yet I want another.

Introduction, mental stress causing physical pain

quirkywords — Thu, 13 Dec 2018 03:50:46 GMT

Shipsta,

thanks for your reply.

I think when one overthinks one can really complicate things that is not that complex.

I do this all the time.

Would you think about doing relationship or personal counselling?

It would be great to find one cause for mental illness, I used to really focus on what caused my bipolar but I found I really needed to concentrate on how to get healthy and not be hung up on the cause.

Obviously one needs to be aware of triggers but they are different from the cause.

Have you looked at Cognitive Behaviour Therapy looking at how our thoughts work and how they affect us.

Do you find writing helps you sort out your thoughts?

Quirky

Introduction, mental stress causing physical pain

Shipsta — Fri, 14 Dec 2018 01:39:52 GMT

Hi quirkywords,

I understand where you are coming from with over thinking things. I do tend to do this a lot as well, but when you are feeling so down and unable to get through the days it is very hard not to come to conclusions as to why that is.

I have received personal counselling from 2 separate psychologists and 1 psychiatrist. We also tried relationship counselling a few years ago but quickly stopped that as we didn't like the counselor.

All of the counselors have tried CBT with me and we tracked back to different events which may affect why I think they way that I do which has helped understand the thoughts more but it just doesn't stop them which is what keeps bringing me down.

I do write a journal as to how I feel pretty regularly which does help me understand how I am going but once again, the feelings and obtrusive thoughts still persist.

It feels like I have tried everything with very little improvements to how I feel which is the disheartening part.

Introduction, mental stress causing physical pain

SPOONO — Fri, 14 Dec 2018 10:47:24 GMT

Snap!! btdt, first question I'd like to ask I'm probably not allowed to is boo's. If there, get rid of it, she's hung in thus far. I bailed out of mine, more than 20 years ago AK...AK = after kids. I have never been truly happy since, my experience with the kids is positive with boys (now married with their own) and very ifsy butsy with the girls. I truly wish I'd hung in there done the right thing and remained married to my hot-tempered, but very loving, do anything for me wife. Not much more I can say. All my very best wishes.

Cheers spoon