topic Icicle in Depression

Icicle

wantalife — Sat, 15 Oct 2016 09:23:03 GMT

3 to 4 days without sleep is a good basis for pyschosis............... just a thought

Icicle

wantalife — Sat, 15 Oct 2016 09:48:47 GMT

ok... crap post but needs to be part of the forum. Pipe runs dry, mind does fry. can't get to a GP cause your body Can't move (Nor Adrenaline deficiency) no Dopamine target....mon existent "Hey We were just having a weekend away with friends" Stuffed now feel wierd in the head... yeah or weird in the head... no ma thing but speakup

Icicle

wantalife — Sat, 15 Oct 2016 09:54:12 GMT

Mods dont post, wanted to help make the site real. bombarded with posts daily. Adore the members on here already dont wany to upset anything

Icicle

wantalife — Sun, 16 Oct 2016 02:03:05 GMT

ok so you did post, more open thoughts, my age missed this time but have seen too much and effect. Am also a father that worries terribly. Up, down, up down is how I've always been and tried to balance the best I could. What is left of me as a person I want to put to some sort, any type of use and awareness. Attraction toward substance, be that any is strong when you don't see yourself in a similar light to others. Knowing the amount of people and state they are in I guess was surprised this was not a topical and open subject. I don't use myself have enough problems (like now even getting to the pharmacy to pick up my regular script) just put out their that there's no restriction in discussion toward what is and should always be the most important people we care about in which is ourself.

Icicle

Starwolf — Sun, 16 Oct 2016 23:17:06 GMT

Hi there...didn't realize you had started a new thread. Like others who connected with you on your initial thread, I was waiting for your reply THERE. Wondering how you were going and why you'd disappeared on us ! I'm glad you didn't.

Yes, having a family and not feeling up to scratch to face this heavy responsibility is /has been a problem for quite a few of us. Spending quality time whenever possible is sometimes the best we can do when we are the ones needing attention and TLC. You are right, YOU are the priority right now. I assume your children are being taken care of in the meantime...

Can you get someone else to go to the pharmacy for you ? I hope you haven't run out of necessary medication...

As for "being of use", your contribution on these forums is valued and appreciated. Just the fact of being there and participating helps many feel reassured that they're not alone. It often makes a big difference.

Icicle

geoff — Mon, 17 Oct 2016 01:28:42 GMT

hello wantalife, we do hear you and we do care for you, and it seems as though you have hit rock bottom.
You know you have posted some great replies to those wanting our help, because your words have been terrific and I just wish that we knew how much you were hurting.
You know when we hurt we do our upmost to keep it a secret, we want to hide it from those that we connect with because we don't want anyone to know what is happening, you know those little things that seem to control us, those things that we need to get through the day, hey that's OK , don't feel like a stranger, don't block us out, we know what you are struggling with, you're holding up your hand wanting us to grab and hold onto so that we can hear what you want to say, and we are here, and none can upset me, I have learnt from my experience that I have to be like this so that any person can and will say whatever they want to.
You are needing anyone to reply to you and Starwolf has started which is lovely,so now I am here, hey listen mate you have our full attention and I can hear those cries from you holding up your hand, so please get back to us, today or tonight or even tomorrow, it doesn't matter. Geoff.

Icicle

Just Sara — Mon, 17 Oct 2016 03:12:35 GMT

Hey WAL!

So good to hear from you man. Relieved...

Becoming involved with people like yourself is a balancing act for me sometimes. I've warmed to your words and insight. Non apologetic..

Sleep deprivation and the associated psychosis? Been there..I hear you loud and clear. Bloody horrible..clouds the ability to problem solve and make decisions. Care about you...please.

Reading about your relationship with your kids as a dad is refreshing for me personally, even though it does sound heartfelt. My ex husband (who died in June from substance abuse) never gave a rat's petuni about our son. It grieves me, but nothing can be undone. You know what I mean? Even pretending to care would've been better for my boy in the long term.

Hang in there as I know you have the ability to...you're still here; 'nuff said..

With you all the way...Dizzy xo

Icicle

blondguy — Tue, 18 Oct 2016 13:04:03 GMT

Hey WAL

I hear you, loud and clear. You wanted to make the site real, and good on you.

You are a part of what we do here wantalife...an important part of the forums..and if I can quote you;

"there's no restriction in discussion toward what is and should always be
the most important people we care about in which is ourself"

I hope you can help us help you

(Hugs...Real Ones)

Paul

Icicle

wantalife — Thu, 20 Oct 2016 08:58:46 GMT

Posted in regard to friends that are stuck. Cycle of pattern giving away free will (integrity, identity and other) for something that is so abundant it's ridiculous. I cant see the intellect within judgment when well aware dangerous and depressive states within some in which is similar to net catching fish and was never their original intention. I drink to try and cope so it's not my choice of self med and an incorrect choice...(I Understand). I just try and stop the up and down I've had since forever but have spent 2 decades trying to understand why and in depth neurology. A friend was in a bad way and spontaneously in frustration posted. We are not of an authority but can offer support. Dopamine (NOT SERETONIn) "In My Opinion" has been the cause of and will keep expansion within mental health..... if not for corporate pharmaceutical enterprise and agreements "in my opinion" am I real I go tomorrow intake for 2 months I know what I am talking about. AS I have found on this site the time taken to reply from you guys... absolute Legends!! Starwolf, Geoff, Dizz, Paul

Icicle

blondguy — Thu, 20 Oct 2016 10:32:03 GMT

no judgement here at all....if a person drinks that their business, not mine. There is no authority here....just other peoples take on what they have been through....including mine......its only opinion including the pic of my dumb bald headed eagle 🙂

2 decades is a long time...a crappy extended period of time to be going through all this

Dopamine Rocks...I wish I had more....one day maybe..

Paul

Icicle

Cornstarch — Thu, 20 Oct 2016 10:49:25 GMT

Hey Icicle,

Only just seen this thread. I hope you are OK.

I have lots of experience with the psychotic class of illnesses, you can talk to me if you like, but no pressure whatsoever. My Mum has schizophrenia, but in the family is Bipolar, Anxiety, Depression, PTSD/Chronic Dissociation.

I too had a shocking time with lack of sleep recently. I felt like I was down the rabbit hole with Lewis Carol. Didn't see any pink elephants but thought I might be a few hours away from meeting Alice if I didn't get to the hospital. It's terrifying and not to mention exhausting on the body and mind.

You have to get sleep. I don't take any benzos or sleeping tablets but sometimes in an emergency they are appropriate. Could you call the 24/7 Mental Health Access Team on 1800-011-511 and ask them to come to you?

Your safety is the most important thing. You've mentioned that you posted on behalf of mates that are using. Maybe it is best that you assure your own mental health is seen to first, or you could voice your concerns to the mental health team when you call them. I'm not sure about the red tape around that, and the legality side of things, maybe they have to reach out themselves. Don't shame yourself with the drinking, you're doing amazing under the circumstances. It's must be hell on earth,

Take care mate,

Corned Brain Fritters

Icicle

Doolhof — Thu, 20 Oct 2016 11:25:44 GMT

Two decades enduring the ups and downs of mental health is enough to drive anyone to drink.

For me the fluctuation of feelings and emotions relating to mental health illnesses can be so darn debilitating, frustrating and surprising at the same time.

One moment I can be enjoying a beautiful sunrise, then the very next moment I feel like I am in a very dark place.

Depression can be like the wind, it may blow on us gently or be still, other days it can rage like a hurricane.

Thank goodness we have this forum where we can share our thoughts and feelings.

Cheers from Mrs. Dools

Icicle

geoff — Thu, 20 Oct 2016 19:26:15 GMT

hello Nick, it's not far that you should be judged by needing to drink alcohol, it's a choice that have needed to do, just as I did when in depression, although there will be other people who make a judgment condemning your actions but they don't understand how deeply you are suffering, why you are suffering and probably don't want to know, but criticise you as being an alcoholic.
That maybe so but you aren't drinking because you enjoy it, you are drinking to try and numb these terrible thoughts that keep reoccurring everyday, and it maybe not the right choice, but boy when depression keeps pounding down on you day in and day out, it's a decision you have choosen.
I was no different and in hindsight now I know that I shouldn't have, but I'm saying that now because I believe I have overcome my depression, so the thought pattern is completely different.
I did reply to your other post asking whether you were going into hospital or rehab so now I know, but one thing that I want you to ask those incharge is 'how to cope once I am let out', because you will be put back into the same situation as what you are now in. Geoff.

Icicle

Starwolf — Fri, 21 Oct 2016 00:27:31 GMT

You are right, free will is not easy to access because we are conditioned beings. The fact that you are here around the forums means that the will allowing you to make positive choices is still there. Something well worth nurturing...

Sleep deprivation is a form of torture. Sometimes, taking the occasional sleeping tablet can avoid aggravation of stressful symptoms. Like other decisions, a matter of weighing personal pros and cons.

Thank you for your kind appreciation (I can't think of a better way to spend some of whatever time I have). Your own willingness and inclination to help shows your big heart. In spite of personal difficulties, you are still thinking up ways to support others in need. Please remember to extend that kindness to yourself too. You deserve it.

Icicle

wantalife — Thu, 27 Oct 2016 12:16:58 GMT

Thanks guys

What started as a specific topic has brought some core issues together and close knit comportment among metal health and most probably will become more intertwined as generations progress, be AOD, Narcissism, Gambling, fixated to video games or any internet to avoid the outside world, (Outside of the Norm) and if if I expand on what Geoff mentioned in which I may be wrong but hit a nerve...."it blocks out the pain" it does...it seems to make life easier at lowest or highest points.

Make your high's higher as you know a low is soon to follow or for some just give the will power to leave your bed in the morning.

I walked 4km from hospital after a 3 days stay for non related alcohol problems due to a very unrelated substance use nature however when a staff member found out I had psychiatric background. I was treated like garbage.

I left of my own accord and walked home, collapsed 3 times on my way.

I was however admitted elsewhere a few days later, and admitted to the surgical ward immediately.

A Nurse noticed cuts and scars, notified the Doctor, I explained my life story and believe he almost had tears in his eyes as I could see he understood.

There is a new generation of understanding with mental illness it just needs time to filter through.

I had Psych Triage came and visited me in the surgical ward daily and wanted to admit me post my surgical stay in the general ward that was for 7 days.

I've accepted help in which I'm comfortable with but times are definitely changing and those that used to look down on mental illness be it the mildest to extreme.

will soon be seen as the same as those who would look down on a human being with any other illness such as Arthritis, or a Diabetic etc.

It's left me feeling very humbled that evolution is not standing still.

Icicle

Just Sara — Thu, 27 Oct 2016 12:31:53 GMT

Hi WAL; (Nick)

Just found your post and am very pleased you feel humbled and in good company.

I do worry about you, but that's the nature of the beast I'm afraid. I'm sort of like a proud parent watching you evolve. You're a beautiful tortured soul who takes in the words of those who care about you here on BB.

I don't know what else to say, except I believe in you and will NOT walk away without telling you I care.

Warm and kind thoughts...Sara xo (Dizzy)

Icicle

blondguy — Thu, 27 Oct 2016 12:41:08 GMT

Hey brother

I had no idea you were a tennis ball in a tumble dryer........(doing it so really hard)

I am so sorry......

We are online and just noticed your post....

Here for you

(Hugs) Paul

Icicle

Doolhof — Thu, 27 Oct 2016 20:56:44 GMT

Hi,

Some people, medical as well, just don't seem to understand mental health, where as others do.

For some it may be that until they actually experience mental health issues they may never have compassion or understanding for a sufferer of mental health.

Then there are people who do have mental health issues, but can not understand the same illness in other people!

Hopefully you will now receive all of the assistance you need for your mental and physical health.

Unfortunately as humans we are not always able to look past the history of a person nor how they present themselves.

That is one of the wonderful things about this forum, everyone is anonymous, yet everyone counts as being an important and valued person.

Cheers all from Dools

Icicle

Kazzl — Thu, 27 Oct 2016 21:20:29 GMT

Hey Nick, just want to add my very best wishes for you. I'm glad you found compassion and help in the system. You sound better than you were. I'm willing you on mate.

Kaz

Icicle

Starwolf — Thu, 27 Oct 2016 22:28:54 GMT

So relieved you found the understanding and compassion you so much deserve.

You are right, change is happening. Our impatience with perceived slowness of evolution seems to come from the fact that our human lifespan is short. We would all like to see tangible progress in our lifetime. I hope this latest development will bring on a positive new beginning.

My best wishes are with you.