topic Feeling helpless in Depression

Feeling helpless

KTOCD — Mon, 05 Sep 2016 11:32:09 GMT

Hi,

just looking for some friendly advice and company. I've hit a low point and can't seem find anything positive in my day. I feel really helpless and like I'm drowning. I've started to drink more to try to cope. I don't understand why life has to be so hard. What did I do wrong to deserve this? I'm really stuck in a hole. I'm already on the maximum of medication and I'm not getting much from psychology sessions.

Feeling helpless

Fairywings — Mon, 05 Sep 2016 12:09:49 GMT

hello there lovely i'm so sorry to hear ur feeling so empty right now I'm venessa and am more than happy to keep you company. Tell what u do enjoy doing ! I would like to get to know you a little better xx 🙂 and what's happening in your life atm that's making you feel overwhelmed in ur own thoughts. I am sorry ur not getting much from your psychologist it may be a matter that u need to find another? or r u linked into a psychiatrist at all - if not i would go back to ur gp and see if u can get a referral to see one. here to help you always Venessa xx please do keep in touch you don't have to face these dark times alone

Feeling helpless

KTOCD — Mon, 05 Sep 2016 20:42:09 GMT

Thanks Fairywings. feeling a bit better this morning but still not well. Maybe a trip to the gp is in order.

Feeling helpless

Fairywings — Tue, 06 Sep 2016 00:16:20 GMT

That's good to hear I'm happy u feeling a little better feel free to keep posting whenever u need to xx Venessa

Feeling helpless

interloper — Wed, 07 Sep 2016 14:14:23 GMT

How was your day today? Did you find positivity?

Feeling helpless

KTOCD — Thu, 08 Sep 2016 10:12:21 GMT

Hi interloper,

nice to meet you. My day was up and down. Had its good bits but def had some not so nice bits. I'm still a bit all over the shop. Thanks for asking.

how was your day today?

Feeling helpless

geoff — Thu, 08 Sep 2016 20:24:24 GMT

hello KT, you have OCD next to your username which hasn't come into the discussion as yet, so would you like to tell us about this, and don't worry I have had OCD for 56 years. Geoff.

Feeling helpless

Guest_5218 — Fri, 09 Sep 2016 01:17:20 GMT

Hello KT, lovely to see you back here again after not seeing you in a number of months. Even though it looks like you've returned due to a bit of a setback.

I see that on Tuesday you said that a visit to your GP may be in order. Have you been yet?

I dont recall whether you were on any medication at all, nor whether you have been seeing a psych at all. Has your work and home life been okay lately, and has your general health been good? Only asking to try to find out why you seem to have hit a bit of a hurdle lately, so please ignore if you are not comfortable in saying. (-:

Perhaps today is a little better for you, with fewer downs and many more ups. What do you enjoy doing in your spare time? I hope you can plan to do something you love to do over the weekend.

Kind thoughts to you KT.

Sherie xx

Feeling helpless

KTOCD — Sat, 10 Sep 2016 21:27:42 GMT

Hi,

i am doing a bit better today. Still stressed easily but on the way up I feel.

Geoff, I do have OCD. I struggle with intrusive thoughts the most. Compulsions r there but I can manage them. I also take daily medication which helps greatly. Without the meds, I would be really stuck. The thoughts have been a bit worse lately but I think that is just due to stress. Once I get back on track, I think the thoughts will decrease again.

Sherie, I've got some additional work stress at the moment which I think has put me over the edge. I went to the dr and he has given me some extra meds for the next few days to see if that brings down the stress.

I think I need to shake things up a bit. I think I have been a bit depressed lately. I can't seem to be grateful for what I already have. I'm always looking for more but I think this is because I am stuck in a rut and need some more excitment in my life to get me motivated again. It seems to be same old same old.....for way too long. I need to move forward!! Time for change.

Geoff, how do u handle your OCD? I feel I'm going to be on meds for it the rest of my life. Already been about 15 years on meds. I can get off them for a while but the thoughts always come back.....and I can't handle them.

Thanks

Feeling helpless

geoff — Sat, 10 Sep 2016 23:33:40 GMT

hi KT, we only hope that you are on your way up, but sometimes that's what we want to hear, but this may not be the case or perhaps we try and kid ourselves, because your intrusive thoughts will not allow this to happen, there is always a doubt that you will keep asking yourself, will it happen or won't it happen, that's what OCD does to us.
Once you feel stressed then these thoughts will dominate your thinking, but if you are able to keep them under control then your stress will only get better.
By having depression and anxiety is awful, because I've been through it several times, but with this there can be another part to this which only complicates the issue and that's by having OCD, so you have to understand people can not figure out why we have these compulsions, obsessions or habits and believe that we can stop doing them, but quite to the contrary, we can't, sometimes it's impossible and times where you can have CBT which may reduce it, plus medication the doctors believe will reduce the behaviours we get, maybe for some it might, but with me I still have it even with medication.
You have to realise that with depression it controls your mind/mood just as OCD does, and the more stressed you are the worse it is.
The medication I take is for my depression and it is supposed to help with anxiety, that is OCD, but it doesn't obviate it, and for some with mild OCD it may do so, but yes I will be taking it for the restof my life, and with my intrusive thoughts, I know that they are not going to happen after all these years, and now take them as being a pest and tell myself not to be silly, because after 56 years none of them have come true.
Please I hope that you get back to me and ask me any question. Geoff.

Feeling helpless

Guest_5218 — Sun, 11 Sep 2016 00:17:33 GMT

Morning KT. Pleased to hear that you are now doing a little better. Sorry to hear that some stress relating to work seems to have pushed you closer to the edge. I hope the extra meds kicks in soon and make a difference.

You may recall from our previous correspondence earlier this year, that I also suffer from OCD. Thankfully relatively mild, but it really makes life difficult when it does get bad. This generally happens for me at times when my ptsd symptoms get worse, and then the OCD tends to kick in with a vengeance. For me it is mainly the compulsive habits, rather than intrusive thoughts. Which is definitely more easily managed, as you say yourself. I think for me the OCD started as a distraction tool when my PTSD symptoms have been particularly bad.

I have found CBT therapy to be of some benefit. And more recently I have commenced an anti-anxiety medication specifically aimed towards ptsd-related sleep disturbances, but it also seems to have helped with the OCD. I am also on a mild AD, but I dont think it helps with the OCD.

Thanks Geoff for the experience and wisdom which you so willingly impart to others here. I often find myself following your advice. (-:

I hope you continue to improve KT and that you can enjoy a nice Sunday.

Sherie xx

Feeling helpless

KTOCD — Tue, 13 Sep 2016 10:58:31 GMT

Hi Geoff and Sherie,

thank you so much for your responses. It's so good to know I am not alone. My OCD is moderate (according to the psychiatrist) however I do definately have better times and worse times. I have not been diagnosed with depression but I really feel low at times. I don't think it is bad as I can still function and attend work. I tend to feel hopeless and like nothing will ever get better or that everything is wrong. I can't focus on the positives in life. Or be grateful for what I have. I try to give myself a kick in the pants and tell myself that I may not be where I want to be BUT I do have a lot more than other people and I should be happy for that. I know it is true but I get stuck in a negative mindset ...maybe it is a bit of obsessive thinking. Not sure.

The last couple of days have been a bit better. The sadness/depression certainly comes in waves. I'll drop my bundle and crash for a day or two then I head back up for a while and then I'll come back down again.

I think the main thing upsetting me is that I am not where I want to be in life and I get really frustrated and angry with things that are holding me back.

anyway, time to jump into bed. Sleep is super important.

Thanks for your support and advice