topic How to Explain Depression/Anxiety to a Non Believer in Depression

How to Explain Depression/Anxiety to a Non Believer

blondguy — Wed, 01 Jun 2016 23:47:20 GMT

Hello Everyone! and any new posters too!

Having had depression and anxiety for over 30 years explaining the illness whether to a boss, partner or family member can be difficult. I have seen numerous people post desperate to find a way to explain it to people that just don't understand. Even worse is explaining depression to
ignorant people that think we should just 'snap out of it' and 'move forward'

I have a couple that have worked

In Business When I have had a boss that has a closed mind I have told them 'its like claustrophobia without the closed in spaces'
Family Member non believer. I have explained it as 'Diabetes of the Brain' as there is a chemical link. 'Invisible Crutches' also works

A Community Champion on the forums mentioned to copy the info under 'The Facts' (or Supporting Someone with depression) print it and provide a copy to the person that is trying but cant understand depression. A fabulous idea!

Lastly we have the people that tell us to 'snap out of it' and wont listen or even try to understand....I find communicating the following to them can 'wake them up'..............

'Depression is a serious illness........just like diabetes or heart disease

Expecting positive thinking to cure depression is like expecting a person with diabetes to lower their blood sugar level by thinking happy thoughts'

The name (noun) of this illness 'depression' is a failure of the english language as we know it. The illness is badly named, inaccurate and gives no justice to the severity of the illness and its symptoms.

There are many people that read the Beyond Blue Forums and choose not to post which is fine. There are also many people on the forums that may find your advice beneficial too! If you have any ways of 'Explaining depression' when people give you that 'there is really nothing wrong with you look' please do share any knowledge or advice so we can help others find some peace in their lives

Thankyou for reading my post 🙂

Kind Thoughts

Paul

How to Explain Depression/Anxiety to a Non Believer

TheSteve — Thu, 02 Jun 2016 00:06:49 GMT

Great post Paul. I always equated depression to being "trapped" in, or by, one's own mind. Imagine a cage being put around your thoughts and feelings, and not being able to look beyond the bars. That is one way.

Another to me was the "emotional amplification" of one's thoughts. A normal mind can think a thought, and nothing happens. A depressed mind can think a thought, and sometimes literally feel a negative amplification of that thought (you can't put your finger on what it is, just that is is most unpleasant) through your body, brain to toes, and then have a lasting impression of that horrid feeling.

I hope this helps.

Steve

How to Explain Depression/Anxiety to a Non Believer

Guest_5218 — Thu, 02 Jun 2016 00:20:31 GMT

Hi Paul. As usual with you, another great thread.

I must admit that I have never actually tried to explain my anxiety to anybody. I have always kept the issue hidden as much as possible, and certainly never talk of it.

However, the information contained in this thread will be very useful if I ever get the courage to talk of it with anyone other than my psych or GP. So I will be following this with much interest.

Thanks Paul.

Sherie xx

How to Explain Depression/Anxiety to a Non Believer

Cameragirl — Thu, 02 Jun 2016 00:47:19 GMT

Thanks Paul for the post.

When people tell me they have depression/anxiety, I always tell them that looking after your mental health is just as important as your physical health, if not more so. I'm taking my own advice now as well. If you can relate your depression/anxiety to something that other people can relate to: eg, you look after your heart, why not your brain, that normally puts things into perspective for others who may not relate to your problem.

How to Explain Depression/Anxiety to a Non Believer

blondguy — Thu, 02 Jun 2016 00:52:44 GMT

Hey Steve🙂 Thankyou for responding....'trapped in by one's own mind' is good..as well as the "emotional amplification" of one's thoughts. A
normal mind can think a thought, and nothing happens. A depressed mind
can think a thought, and sometimes literally feel a negative
amplification of that thought " Emotional Amplification......thats a huge help Steve.....Cheers...Paul

Hey Sherie , Thankyou for your response and kind feedback 🙂 I hear you loud and clear...Its taken me years to tell my postie let alone talk freely about it. We both seem to have 'invisible crutches' sometimes Sheriexx

How to Explain Depression/Anxiety to a Non Believer

blondguy — Thu, 02 Jun 2016 01:02:37 GMT

Hi CG (if I can abbreviate?:-)

Thanks for responding! Thats a kind and smart way to articulate it for sure..Information like yours will make it easier for sufferers to tell people without depression how serious it really is......Paulx (NikonP900 user)

How to Explain Depression/Anxiety to a Non Believer

Cameragirl — Thu, 02 Jun 2016 01:07:08 GMT

CG is fine with me.😁 Nikon all the way.😉

How to Explain Depression/Anxiety to a Non Believer

blondguy — Thu, 02 Jun 2016 01:10:30 GMT

You are a legend CG...:-) Paulx

How to Explain Depression/Anxiety to a Non Believer

Marcsa — Thu, 02 Jun 2016 03:43:01 GMT

Hi,

I wonder people's thoughts - if a family member is depressed or anxious and friends kind of, after a time start dismissing the depressed person. Saying things to the effect of "they're just being lazy, using it as an excuse". Is this plain old deliberate non-understanding of depression.? Is it a reaction to the exhaustive hearing the same stories over and over? I was a bit taken aback when someone in my close circle of friends basically told me they thought my son was lazy and 'putting it on' in order not to do anything. I know this person (my friend) feels I am a 'soft touch' as regards my son, but this commentary was a bit ...well...unhelpful. Yet I know it's burdensome to hear me complain a lot of the time and partly because I find it hard to have 'hard' conversations with my son. Yes, he suffers from depression.

How to Explain Depression/Anxiety to a Non Believer

AJ2014 — Thu, 02 Jun 2016 04:54:02 GMT

If only we could share links...

How to Explain Depression/Anxiety to a Non Believer

Chris_B — Thu, 02 Jun 2016 05:11:23 GMT

Hi everyone, beyondblue also has the Have The Conversation resources that give tips on how to discuss depression with someone close to you, and also from the other perspective: how to talk to someone you're worried about. There's also some resources in there about how to talk to your health professional.

AJ2014, while we don't allow links to be shared in posts you are welcome to provide instructions on how to google helpful articles or pages, eg. search terms.

How to Explain Depression/Anxiety to a Non Believer

blondguy — Thu, 02 Jun 2016 05:51:36 GMT

Hi Marcsa

Thanks for your post...if I can quote you "someone in my close circle of friends basically told me they thought my
son was lazy and 'putting it on' in order not to do anything"

With all respect to your friend Marsca..I hope he wouldnt say that to someone that has been given strong meds for a severe infection or tell a diabetic to get over it. I really hope he doesnt ever suffer from a severe crippling anxiety attack either. I hear you though...maybe some people 'mock' what they dont understand?

You are an intelligent and caring mum...I am sorry that your son is ill with this sometimes crushing illness. My 23 year old daughter is in the same place as your son...I do feel like you do..all of the time.

Great post Marsca:-).................Paulx (has invisable crutches)

How to Explain Depression/Anxiety to a Non Believer

blondguy — Thu, 02 Jun 2016 05:59:20 GMT

Hi Chris, thankyou for the direct link to the BB 'Have The Conversation Resources' above..much appreciated:-)

Hello AJ2014, Thanks for responding 🙂 I hope you found some help or value in this thread. What are your thoughts on explaining depression to a non believer? ....Paul

How to Explain Depression/Anxiety to a Non Believer

pipsy — Thu, 02 Jun 2016 06:32:03 GMT

Hey Paul. As you said, trying to describe/explain depression to a non-believer is mission impossible. Then you get people who claim never to have endured a nightmare. If you're trying to explain depression, quite often the person you're trying to tell actually suffers it too, but refuses to admit. Admitting depression, is usually, to a non-believer, a sign of weakness. It's actually the bravest thing you can do. Asking for help takes more strength than denying you need it. If you constantly deny, obviously you're afraid because of the stigma attached. The stigma actually lies in the denial, because when you deny, you actually deny yourself the help you need. Denial is actually the weakness, admitting is the strength.

Lynda

How to Explain Depression/Anxiety to a Non Believer

Guest_342 — Thu, 02 Jun 2016 11:39:51 GMT

Paul, I've never thought about the inappropriateness of the names for these conditions, but I think you make a really good point. I think depression and anxiety are inappropriate terms for the illnesses because those terms also describe emotions that all people feel quite a bit as a normal healthy part of their lives but the difference is that these feelings normally should subside. So that might be why other people think it helps to say "cheer up" or "don't worry".

How to Explain Depression/Anxiety to a Non Believer

blondguy — Thu, 02 Jun 2016 13:22:41 GMT

Hi Gelati...thankyou for your response and your kind words too:-) Your words are gold. Depression/anxiety do also describe symptoms which makes the name (or noun) of the illness irrelevant to a lay person....where an actual illness is concerned....You have a really good understanding of depression....Paul

How to Explain Depression/Anxiety to a Non Believer

blondguy — Fri, 03 Jun 2016 00:56:12 GMT

Lynda Said:

"Hey Paul. As you said, trying to describe/explain depression to a
non-believer is mission impossible. Then you get people who claim never
to have endured a nightmare. If you're trying to explain depression,
quite often the person you're trying to tell actually suffers it too,
but refuses to admit. Admitting depression, is usually, to a
non-believer, a sign of weakness. It's actually the bravest thing you
can do. Asking for help takes more strength than denying you need it.
If you constantly deny, obviously you're afraid because of the stigma
attached. The stigma actually lies in the denial, because when you
deny, you actually deny yourself the help you need. Denial is actually
the weakness, admitting is the strength"

hey Lynda....thankyou for your brilliant response. I just had to highlight it for anyone that needs some peace Pxx

How to Explain Depression/Anxiety to a Non Believer

Meen_k — Sun, 12 Jun 2016 04:18:21 GMT

Hi paul

I have a postnatal depression and nobody believes me even my husband and my mom and dad. They said i dont want to take care of baby that's why i am just making excuses. I try a lot to explain to my husband but all the time our conversation is end with fight and i am feeling more bad. I want he support me understand me but i dont know to convince him. I am really feeling very alone and i want to get rid of this problem because my condition is getting worse day by day i really need help.

Thanks.

How to Explain Depression/Anxiety to a Non Believer

pipsy — Sun, 12 Jun 2016 10:42:58 GMT

Hi Meen_k. Your hubby and parents fall into the category of the non-believers that we wrote about earlier. Post-natal depression has the same connotations as any other depressive illness. Have you tried to make an appointment with your Dr? I realize this is going to be hard because in order to see him, you're going to have to get someone to mind the baby. Taking your baby at this point would be counter-productive because to talk to your Dr, you need to be able to focus on how you're feeling. Do you have a close friend, sibling, relation who you could confide in? At the bottom of this page is a list of people you could contact who would be able to guide you. The listing is: Get Support. If you can contact someone from one of these lists, help and support would be available. Either that or phone our helpline. We have trained counsellors who would also be able to support and guide you. You've reached out, you're not alone. We're here to help you.

Lynda

How to Explain Depression/Anxiety to a Non Believer

CakeFace — Wed, 15 Jun 2016 07:35:46 GMT

For me it has always felt like drowning in the middle of an ocean. I have told my husband & a few family members. My husband tries but doesn't get it, he thinks if you think positively it will go away. Other ppl have tried to pin everything on my depression, if they do something wrong & I get upset or depressed it's not them it's my depression twisting it. Sadly I feel unless ppl have it themselves they rarely understand it.