Overloaded and snapped.

HankScorpio — Fri, 07 Aug 2015 20:01:58 GMT

Hi all,

I'm not really sure where to begin with this, I'll try to be brief. Mid twenties caucasian male. In the past 2 years I've dealt with: an abusive relationship, half of my closest friends walking out on me (I was a variable, not a cause), quitting work, failed musical projects, car accident, sleeping in a kitchen, being poor & doing odd jobs for $$, best friend (my cat) being killed.

I've fought my way through all that rubbish, set up a business, got really fit, started doing yoga, tried new music projects and moved away.

Now I'm sitting at my new house, hating everything. I moved into this lonely, forsaken place and it just hit me all of a sudden how pointless my struggle was and made me question the validity of my goals. My reality has distorted to the point where I have no aspirations anymore, the idea of interacting with others is contemptuous, and all music sounds cacophonous and mocking to my ears.

Every time I try to motivate myself a part of me pushes forward and systematically attacks my intentions and goals.

I have had depression and anxiety since I was about 7-8 years old, seen psychologists before, I'm not on meds and I don't want to be. I have enough self destructive tendencies without furthering my drug dependance. My general distrust of others inhibits me from seeing a GP, so I thought I'd vent here and see if anyone can relate.

Thank you for your time.

Overloaded and snapped.

white knight — Sat, 08 Aug 2015 07:11:42 GMT

Hi HS, welcome here to beyond Blue forums

I too was at that stage once when I wouldn't take meds. I ended up going to my GP for another health reason and he asked about my meds. I told him I'm over it, had enough of them and there are side effects. He advised me to try a small dose say 5 or 10 mgms of antidepressants. I did and it was remarkable. So little I didn't have side effects but significant to my mental stability and outlook. With mental illness we cant ignore the logic that we need a balance, not just go off them and hope for the best....it rarely works that way.

You've done well for yourself and I suggest taking up a sport or hobby and keeping busy.

Tony WK

topic Overloaded and snapped. in Depression

Overloaded and snapped.

Overloaded and snapped.