topic How do you find warmth in a world that feels cold? in Depression

How do you find warmth in a world that feels cold?

Alannah57 — Sun, 20 Jun 2021 13:12:39 GMT

It feels like the world is indifferent and cold, happiness isn’t allowed to last and positive things don’t matter. I feel so trapped here, how do you find warmth when you are missing in warm, genuine interactions, when no one understands you, when life’s just about the task at hand?

How do you find warmth in a world that feels cold?

missep123 — Mon, 21 Jun 2021 05:18:38 GMT

Hi @Alannah57,

Feeling that way must be very difficult, however from my own experience I believe I can understand what you are talking about. For me it was trying to change my perspective, when I tried to seek out positivity and warmth it put me in a different and happier mindset. There are days when I really focus on the negative and it makes me feel worse.

One thing that also made me feel better was to immerse myself in hobbies that made me happy and try to find likeminded people. It takes time but once you find those you feel comfortable with, I hope that you will find those warm and genuine interactions you mentioned.

We are definitely here for you though!

How do you find warmth in a world that feels cold?

james1 — Mon, 21 Jun 2021 09:08:47 GMT

Hello Alannah,

I'm really sad to hear that you feel like the world is indifferent and cold.

I also feel the same sometimes, and it is often for very similar reasons. I find that days when I don't get genuine interactions with people can be really tough, so I try to make time in my day - most days if I can - to have those interactions with others.

Like today, it was really cold and rainy where I am, but I went out to get a coffee from my local coffee store. I have two stores where the people know my name, and it's always nice to just pop in and say hello. The cost adds up a little bit over the year, but it's worth it just for the connection I have with a couple of the baristas.

Is there anybody in the neighbourhood that you can call on, or otherwise reliably say hello to? Or even any friends or family to give a ring?

James

How do you find warmth in a world that feels cold?

therising — Mon, 21 Jun 2021 11:01:36 GMT

Hi Alannah57

It's a horrible feeling when everything and everyone appears so cold. It can leave you questioning at times 'What's wrong with me?'. When the cold feels so cruel, self doubt seems to make things feel even crueler at times. I feel for you so deeply and wish to send so much warmth to you, to the point where I hope you feel it.

In my efforts to 'stay out of the cold', I try to imagine what channels provide a current of warmth. I'm wondering if you can relate

Generally, the news leaves me cold so I try not to interact with the media too much
When someone says to me 'Let's work this out together', this offers warmth
When someone says 'You should be able to work this out yourself', this leaves me cold
If someone says 'Let's go outside and put our face up to the sun', warmth in multiple ways
If someone says 'You're too sensitive', this leaves me cold, shutting off that channel in a split second. Although it challenges me greatly at times, I love my sensitivity. I thrive on it. There is nothing quite like the coldness of insensitivity. I find it almost unbearable to have insensitive people around me. The lack of warmth is mind altering
There's nothing quite like the warmth of people who really get you, help you actually celebrate who you naturally are - your sensitivity, your questioning, your wondering, your feelings, your search for greater self understanding and the list goes on. Yes, they can be hard to find at times. I discovered, once I found a couple of these people I then had a reference when it came to who I needed to be searching for. It's amazing how you can see not much wrong with the cold folk, in turn leading you to question yourself. I found it wasn't until I discovered the warm ones that I kind of 'woke up' to the cold ones in a number of ways

If it's of any help, one of the ways I manage not returning to depression involves questioning just about everything and everyone. 'Why is that person so cold? Why is that person so warm? Where do the warm people congregate? What are they like? Am I one of them, which is why the cold feels so unbearable to me?'

That last question, I admit to being one of those mind/body/spirit woo woo gals (I'm smiling) and I can tell you this is where I find the greatest warmth - with the 'weird', the 'misfits' as well as with the questioners and philosophers who refuse to settle for 'cold' and that is why I don't fit in with the rest.

Your brilliance and warmth will not allow you to settle in the cold.

🙂

How do you find warmth in a world that feels cold?

missep123 — Thu, 24 Jun 2021 10:30:15 GMT

Hi Alannah57,

There have been great responses to your thread with helpful insights, did any of these relate to you or how you are feeling?

I also wanted to check in and see how you were doing!