topic Confused in Depression

Confused

bipolarMe — Thu, 08 Oct 2015 09:36:31 GMT

Hi. I have bipolar with severe depression. I've had moments of psychosis years ago. Not sure what I'm experiencing now...

I see shadows or something on the corner of my eyes - daily. Sometimes hear my name or something being called out. But live alone. Sometimes feel like something is touching me or crawling but nothing there. I get sleep paralysis occasionally. I get paranoid. I make myself believe things that I don't believe are true...feelings and beliefs.

Been having this for a while but it's getting worse. Have been more depressed lately with spikes of mania.

Any advice or does anyone associate? Thanks in advance

Confused

Granma_M — Fri, 09 Oct 2015 06:51:33 GMT

Hi bipolar Me I am new to bipolar only diagnosed earlier this year but depression is an old friend/enemy I have had bouts of depression since 1965 Mine has always surfaced when my self esteem was at it's lowest.{plus a lot of other stuff of course} Even doctors will agree that depression comes from negative thoughts from the brain but in my experience most of them { GPs } do not acknowledge or believe how unaddressed depression grows and grows and becomes so damaging. Big problem for me was that I was ashamed and frightened of telling anyone what was happening to me. Makes it hard to get treatment when you don't present all the facts and most GPs are too overworked to look any deeper especially when you "put on a happy face" in public Also that shadow thing I have experienced that also. There was a very interesting program on Catalyst on ABC , this week I think, about people experiencing shadows and phantom limbs You can probably find the episode on the Catalyst web site Hope this helps

Confused

Ladyhawke — Fri, 09 Oct 2015 08:05:19 GMT

Hi bipolarMe. I'm so sorry you're experiencing such distressing episodes. I don't have bipolar but have had major depressive/anxiety disorder since childhood (diagnosed in my mid-30's). I have experienced psychotic episodes when my depression has been very severe and also during periods of prolonged or intense stress. During these periods, I hear my name called, see what appear to be human figures in my peripheral vision, feel that I am being tapped on the shoulder and 'lose' periods of time. I have also experienced sleep paralysis since childhood and I understand how scary that can be.

From what you have described it seems that your experiences are causing you a great deal of distress and confusion. From my own experiences, I think you would benefit from seeing your GP, tell him/her exactly what you have been experiencing and perhaps ask to be referred to a psychologist or psychiatrist for a professional assessment. There are a number of successful treatment options if you are, in fact, experiencing psychosis. If you speak to a professional, it will at least give you an answer and you won't have to go through that awful uncertainty of trying to figure out whether what you are experiencing is real or a delusion. I have found that when I have experienced these types of episodes, talking about them with my psychiatrist has given me an enormous sense of relief and security. I hope you have the opportunity to speak with your GP very soon. Take care.