topic Newly diagnosed with depression? What to expect. in Depression

Newly diagnosed with depression? What to expect.

white knight — Wed, 30 Mar 2016 10:34:18 GMT

You’ve been diagnosed with depression possibly anxiety as well beforehand that led to depression. Your Doctor starts you on medication and you return home. You arrive home and the first thing you decide is to ring a friend. But your friend who has a good ear normally cant help you, that’s what they believe. After 15 minutes the conversation drifts off into talking about the nightclub she visited last weekend and the guy she met. You’re alone.

The same thing happens with family members but they listen more intently. Over time they too feel the stress of not being able to reach into your mind to fix the problem. Even though they do their best it isn’t enough. You are still alone.

You visit your club members. They have a BBQ at a park and show their cars off. You are so much under the dizziness of medication you are emotional. You begin to talk about this to a “friend” and the friend turns to you and says “I’m here for fun and more fun, not to listen to this…snap out of it”!!

You prepare dinner and your defacto arrives home from work. He/she listens, you weep and you drink a cuppa. But it seems you cant get enough of their time and support.

This process is likely what you are going to experience as a newly diagnosed person with emotional troubles. So here are some tips for those wandering around wondering about their future-

1/ Don’t expect anyone to understand Google- “Topic: they just wont understand, why?- beyondblue”

2/ Accept your illness. Fighting it wont work and that will be unfair to others in your life “Topic: depression a ship on the high seas- beyondblue” and “Topic: Do we expect a smooth road in life- beyondblue”

3/ Expect the future of your illness to be a lifelong management work in progress not something anyone will cure.

4/ Be sympathetic with your loved ones “Topic: who cares for the carer?- beyondblue” and “Topic: embracing the embracer- beyondblue”

5/ Realise you might need to revert back to some basic living “Topic: MELTDOWN, back to basics- beyondblue”

6/ Investigate the positives “topic: Depression, are there any positives?- beyondblue”

7/ Become positive “Topic: 30 minutes can change your life- beyondblue”

8/ Stick to your doctors orders and visit often “Topic: medication is a whirlpool- beyondblue”

9/ Rely on yourself “topic: the best praise you’ll ever get- beyondblue”

10/ Get on with life. “Topic: Getting depression into perspective- beyondblue”

Can you add to this?

Tony WK

Newly diagnosed with depression? What to expect.

Dennis38 — Wed, 30 Mar 2016 21:44:35 GMT

Do not go to the very first head shrink that you find, they are like shoes you honeslty have to try a few on before you find that right fit. I went and visted around 15 or so docs before I found the right one for me. Be HONEST not only to your doc but with yourself, and do not feel ashamed because of the way you are feeling.

one last thing

you ARE WORTH IT you deserve the help that you need do NOT listen to the lies in your head!

Newly diagnosed with depression? What to expect.

white knight — Sat, 02 Apr 2016 03:23:37 GMT

Hi Dennis, excellent post, direct and true.

In 2003 I believed I
had ADHD. We searched for a psychiatrist that dealt with ADHD in adults in Melbourne. He diagnosed me with ADHD and bipolar 1. I took the appropriate medication for 6 years, many types, none helped and I wondered why.

In 2009 my new fiancée and I decide to seek a second opinion. When we attended another psychiatrist's room we were lucky in that another psych, free for 2 hours, sat in on our visit. Diagnosis? Bipolar 2, dysthymia, depression and dwindling anxiety. After given the news the senior psych looked over to his colleague and got a nod....confirmation. Different medication (including mood stabilisers) were the fit and I've excelled ever since.

On top of that it was revealed part of my traumatic childhood and my mothers narcissistic ways led to my illness.

Very different to the original endeavor when seeking help.

Thanks Dennis.

Tony WK

Newly diagnosed with depression? What to expect.

150lashes — Sat, 02 Apr 2016 03:34:48 GMT

What to expect?

Expect to feel shocked that this could happen to you.

Newly diagnosed with depression? What to expect.

Dennis38 — Sun, 03 Apr 2016 07:37:46 GMT

Another thing to expect is doubt..not only in yourself but the doubt that others will give you. A lot of times you will hear people say "oh what does he/she have to be "depressed about" this comes from both family, friends, and strangers and from yourself. Doubt is a dangerous thing because its one of the basic lies that depression tells us. It starts to niggle at you at first, the first thing you will here in your head "well they are right I have a "great life" I am rich..i have a great family..blah blah blah...." then you will start to feel stupid and then oye it just snow balls from there. Do not listen to the doubt easy to say hard to do...but everyone has a "right" for a lack of a better word to become depressed the only person that can truly tell you if there is a "reason" is you. No one is in your head no one sees the things that are problems to you..expect you... oh and another thing expect good days and bad days. I do can not say I have found anything positive about depression (as the orginal post suggested in number 6 and I have been suffering though depression and PTSD for about 16 years now still haven't suddenly become cured. Like everyone I have my good days and bad days, my good days can last months on end...then BOOM bad day..and my bad days really tail spin me. You have a lot to learn about yourself and your triggers and how to slow that tailspin to a stop. You may have a ways to climb back up after stopping that tailspin but at least you are not at rock bottom.

Newly diagnosed with depression? What to expect.

white knight — Sun, 03 Apr 2016 13:46:14 GMT

Hi Dennis,

As for not finding anything to be positive about with your depression (number 6 on OP). The number 7, 30 minutes can change your life, occurred to me in 1982-3. Since then, I've been relentless with my positivity. Bad days, sure I have them as you described, wham, it hits you. Then I allow the cycle to run its course and this only takes a few days now (used to be weeks before the right meds came along). Then I'm back into being positive again.

I've learned to seek out the positive in nearly all cases. Even manufacturing a positive like realising I can write poetry and its due to my bipolar. Sure I write poetry but who can prove its from my mental illness. If I compare such talent to Van Gogh's painting ability or Steven Fry's entertainment prowess then who cares if it isn't fact, it helps me.

To embrace your uniqueness, that there is only one of you, to grab a minor talent and cradle it, adore it and admire it is to gain confidence.

Yes, I'm passionate about being positive because I never use to be.

I have listened to Maharaji Prem Rawat (YouTube and his cassette tapes in the 80's) and his influence also helped. Google "Marahaji Prem Rawat Sunset" and "the perfect instrument". Inspirational.

Hope that helps.

Tony WK

Newly diagnosed with depression? What to expect.

JessF — Mon, 04 Apr 2016 06:21:58 GMT

Not necessarily something to expect, but something to consider... your perceptions may be wrong.

That person you think is uncaring or rude ... might not actually be so. It could be your perception.

That belief that you're useless at everything and nothing ever goes right for you... is never true. It's all or nothing thinking, and all comes back to your perception.

That belief that everyone is out to get you... is probably blown out of proportion from a single incident that pushed your buttons. Again, perception.

That might not be an easy thing to hear, because depression eats away at our confidence and thought processes, and your'e probably already second guessing yourself - but it's worth rememebring because your depression can start to spiral out of control if you don't recognise this and take a deep breath before taking actions that could make your situation worse.

Newly diagnosed with depression? What to expect.

white knight — Mon, 04 Apr 2016 11:27:51 GMT

Hi JessF

Perceptions can be a problem. I initially always give the benefit of the doubt. Often this results in a different perception later on down the track.

mmm, wondering how much paranoia is to blame for this? re: "That belief that everyone is out to get you... is probably blown out of proportion from a single incident that pushed your buttons."

Tony WK

Newly diagnosed with depression? What to expect.

JessF — Tue, 05 Apr 2016 00:44:05 GMT

I think depression erases our ability to give people the benefit of the doubt, or rather it erases the doubt! We become certain that we know what people's intentions are, and those intentions are always bad because everything in our world is bad when we are depressed.

Newly diagnosed with depression? What to expect.

Elizabeth CP — Tue, 05 Apr 2016 01:28:09 GMT

I wanted to share a different perspective re recovery using an analogy. You are diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. You are given education & perhaps medication to enable you to control it. You can ignore the advice or follow it halfheartedly thus guaranteeing you will never recover properly or you can follow the advice to the best of your ability. You may be lucky & get things under control & at a later date return to the doctor who informs you you no longer have diabetes. You have recovered. In the same way a person with depression & /or anxiety is given treatment & follows the recommendations & over time recovers. Obviously in both cases whether mental or physical illness it takes time & persistence to recover Neither are something you take a few pills for a couple of weeks & it is over. In both cases once you have recovered you are now aware that you need to keep yourself well. If you recovered from diabetes & then went back to old habits you are likely to get it back & this time you may not ever improve enough to recover fully. In the case of the person recovered from depression the risk of relapse remains but you now have the tools & knowledge to keep yourself as well as possible.

Unfortunately sometimes the diabetes is too far advanced so even with your best efforts you never recover & remain on medication & other strategies for the rest of your life to reduce the risk of complications. In the same way some of us with depression may never fully recover but the same strategies you used to try to recover will still be useful to manage it.

Newly diagnosed with depression? What to expect.

white knight — Tue, 05 Apr 2016 02:56:01 GMT

Hi JessF

I sort of agree that depression can get you that low that you always see the bad, but it can also be an individual thing. If we add the ingredient of guilt it is different IMO. Guilt can be a really bad thing to juggle.

I can only mention my own case here, being, that when I'm criticised by someone I immediately give them the benefit of the doubt because a/ they could be right b/ if they are right then I'm wrong and have to address the issue and c/ as I fall into the low confidence mode at times ...of course they are right. This thought process is automatic regardless of whether in a depressive cycle or not. It is only later down the track I overcome this and question whether that criticism is justified. Anger follows often. So in terms of what to expect from being newly diagnosed with depression in terms of other people interacting with you? Does it depend on how deep the depression is? I think so. Because although I have experienced depression for 20 years or so, I don't think I've had it (much) to the point of which you describe even though I had suicidal tendencies in the early days. Or would it be an individual thing you describe?

Elizabeth, interesting comparison. I've always found it odd that we, the one with the illnesses don't see our mental struggles like physical ones. Those first in touch with mental illness think its just a pill and its gone. Then the slow reality sets in (hence this thread). Education is so important.

Tony WK

Newly diagnosed with depression? What to expect.

Elizabeth CP — Tue, 05 Apr 2016 05:26:02 GMT

People's definition of recovery can vary. Years ago I suffered from severe back pain which impacted on everything I did. I received a variety of treatments including physio & took on board all the advice I was given including exercising. 2 years later I recovered after a lot of hard work. I consider myself recovered as I was once again able to do what I needed without the severe pain I also was aware that even though I had recovered I was at risk of further episodes if I wasn't careful. This means trying to maintain my fitness with regular exercise & avoiding lifting heavy objects incorrectly.

A niece of mine had a severe breakdown following the birth of her baby resulting in a long period in a psych hospital & ongoing professional & family supports including medication for several years after which she weaned off the medication & considered herself recovered. She was back to living life as she wanted. Because she knows she is at risk of relapse if she isn't careful she ensures both her & her husband are alert for any signs of problems & she makes sure she does what she knows works for her to keep herself well.

My message is that while recovery is possible in the same way a person needs to look after themselves physically to prevent further physical illnesses A person who has recovered from a mental illness needs to use what they have learnt to keep themselves mentally well.

Newly diagnosed with depression? What to expect.

150lashes — Tue, 05 Apr 2016 10:14:46 GMT

This is a really interesting thread and I appreciate this topic.

In terms of recovery I do agree that it is a subjective thing. Do you think it is possible for the patient to consider themselves recovered but the GP doesn't?

Is recovery defined as to be exactly back to the person that you were before the depression?

Is it possible to be recovered but to have also changed?

For example, say you were a workaholic who valued work very highly and worked long hours - very career centric. Then you experience depression and anxiety and take a break from everything to manage your condition.

After some time you then feel happy and at peace with yourself. Clear thinking and overall back to your normal self.

However the whole experience has changed you, in that you no longer have the drive, self esteem or confidence to get back out there in that same career focussed mindset you once had.

You also have various job opportunities fall at your feet and these things would have once excited you and you would have been approached. But now they don't, and you no longer see any benefit to it. You realise it just doesn't make you happy and just want to live a simple life.

Have you recovered and returned to normal or are you still suffering from depression and anxiety?

Newly diagnosed with depression? What to expect.

Elizabeth CP — Tue, 05 Apr 2016 11:41:51 GMT

It is certainly possible to recover but change. If I decide to change my lifestyle because I find I am happier with the new lifestyle that is a sign of being mentally well not suffering depression & anxiety.

If I injured myself & the physio provided exercises to aid recovery. If I decide to continue doing the exercises after recovery because I felt good doing them & thought they would prevent further problems I would not class myself as still injured. In the same way someone who realised that they are happier working in a different/less stressful job is sensible if they take up work that suits them.

Newly diagnosed with depression? What to expect.

150lashes — Tue, 05 Apr 2016 11:54:43 GMT

Thanks for your input.

I'm starting to feel like I am going mad with no one understanding me.

In many ways if I didn't suffer depression I probably never would have stopped living the life that I was and now looking bad it really wasn't a healthy lifestyle.

So maybe it's thank you depression?!

Newly diagnosed with depression? What to expect.

white knight — Tue, 05 Apr 2016 12:19:58 GMT

Hi 150lashes

"Thankyou depression". We always see depression as a negative. It's so invigorating for you to see something positive from the illness. Doing so can, if it happens regularly enough, become a snowball and compound resulting, in the end, to having a profound effect on your life.

Google "Topic: depression- are there any positives?- beyondblue"

Elizabeth, Recovery....interesting again. I believe full recovery from a serious state of depression is rarely possible in that relapses occur and once the mind has found fragility it is rare for it to gain strength that it once had, if it had it at all. That's purely my view.

Based on this I feel recovery is a state that you have returned to being functional with changes. Full to part time work, changes in environment, job, partner status, and so on.

Being functional, stable, unlikely to experience severe depression again and this state to be maintained over say a 2-3 year period. Again, I'm basing this on my own experience and logic.

This is really subjective though. I suppose being recovered as being back to how you were in every way isn't common so how could it be realistic?

Tony WK