topic What's the point? in Depression

What's the point?

Scotchfinger — Wed, 06 Jan 2016 02:14:08 GMT

I don't suffer clinical depression but I am certainly capable of depressing thoughts. Pessimistic thoughts. Negative thoughts. "Scotchfinger, why are you such a drag?"

Well not all the time.

So here is my most depressing thought of late.

"What's the point. We're all gonna die one day anyway."

I just lose all motivation when I hear myself think that thought. What would a CBT counsellor say in response to that?

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What's the point?

Paul — Wed, 06 Jan 2016 02:23:17 GMT

Hey Scotchfinger,

I think a CBT counsellor would ask you firstly if the way you are currently feeling is how you feel all the time, then I think they would ask you to answer the question you are asking of yourself.

Yes, we're all going to die anyway however, what happens along the way provides beauty and laughter and joy and love and comfort and purpose and so many other things. It may not feel like it right now, but you've said "and when I feel like this" which tells me that it's transient.

From my own experience when I'm feeling like that I forget that there is an up side and I won't feel horrible all the time. it will pass.

I wonder what leads you to start that thought - is it another thought or an emotion or a memory? Are you able to go back to the moment when you think you started to feel down and replay the whole thing very slowly. I often surprise myself by seeing a chain of thoughts and feelings that link together that eventually lead to being down, but at the time all I feel is trigger then down and my mind skips all of the parts that explain why.

CBT is great, I've found ACT and mindfulness to be awesome partners to help me along as well.

Paul xx

What's the point?

Scotchfinger — Wed, 06 Jan 2016 02:26:33 GMT

Brilliant helpful post Paul. Thanks, I'll answer your questions later.

What's the point?

Pantheress — Wed, 06 Jan 2016 04:21:19 GMT

Ah.. the meaning of life. You picked a topic, many having been exploring for centuries. When you work it out, please share it with me. Although I feel this may be a very time consuming exercise & take you away from more purposeful pursuits. Best u try set it aside until u have much more time to dedicate to your subject. For now I think we should all just strive for happiness. Which for me is the contentment between the laughter and tears or hanging on to a small thread of sanity is pretty good too,smiles.. have a fantastic day. DJ

just keep

What's the point?

Paul — Wed, 06 Jan 2016 11:31:45 GMT

The answer is 42

What's the point?

Durras — Wed, 06 Jan 2016 20:45:45 GMT

Hi All,

Yeah the meaning of life, WHY are we here on this planet, What is our purpose. Massive questions and never can find the right answer to it, but I think it has to come from within our own selves as we are all different.

From me personally. I think far too often what gets in the way is we are too busy maybe comparing our lives or ourselves to others successes such as trying to keep up with the Joneses if that expression is correct. For example I myself always think and look at other women who are successful around my age and negative talk immediately comes in like Why couldn't this be me, why couldn't I have done this for myself, so what is wrong with me? Or maybe it is living to others expectations from our parents, I know it does to me at my age, or could it be for our partners who we are suppose to support or share in everything with including finance that too is my case. Maybe we listen to much with celebrity talk, I lost weight by doing this, purchase this and you will have a better life. Yeah whatever! LOL

I think after reading many posts here I have for myself taken it as just to be happy with the now, the moment and all its blessings, even if it is small things such as rain drops on the roof or seeing a new flower in the garden or having a hug with our child. I read somewhere if we try to keep moving away or running from not being comfortable with the now, content with us in the now then it will still be there where ever it is we choose to move to.

We are all beautiful and amazing people with lots to offer everyone and to the world that our existence even if maybe it is here on BB we are having a massive impact on many and leaving a little foot print for playing our part in helping others.

It may not be so much to have the best job, career, so much money (does that truly buy happiness) if we won the lotto ok temporarily maybe but the true happiness from within is more then any lotto win. Celebrities have money and fame dictates their lives. We go to the deep within and search ourselves and find true meaning. We may keep searching for long time but at least we know along the way we are doing something truly meaningful which is......

Bless us with all our struggles, our uncertainties and questions to this thing we call life. We are living it, we are making our foot prints in the soil or sand on this earth in our lives because we are helping others become stronger.

Big hugs to all

Durras

What's the point?

Scotchfinger — Wed, 06 Jan 2016 23:28:29 GMT

Durass

Thanks for your post. Looks like the others think my search for life's meaning is fruitless and juvenile.

What's the point?

Durras — Thu, 07 Jan 2016 00:24:52 GMT

NO WAY!! its not at all.

I often ask myself that question and I don't use the word often lightly too so ok frequently.

SF from reading your posts you honestly sound like a beautiful person with so much too offer.

Remember the best things in life are free, keep recognising those each day, such as hugs, new flowers even helping someone across the road or onto a bus (I use public transport)

Also remember great things come in small packages, we have many wonderful gifts that are too often unrecognised or go unnoticed because of every man living for himself, surviving for himself. (doggy dog world I think is the expression I'm looking for)

Someone also told me Carol don't put your expectations too high so then you don't have so far to fall and you won't get hurt as bad.

I so often wish that the world was different, everyone cared but NOPE everyone is so busy stepping on others toes, using, taking advantage of one another to get ahead ( one reason why I left my job) all the back stabbing, cattiness and politics in the jobs and in life it's self. Now I'm doing my head in lol

Hey SF I will leave you with another expression I was told:

It's a jungle out there, take care amongst the wilder beasts lol

Durras

What's the point?

Paul — Thu, 07 Jan 2016 00:40:02 GMT

Hey Scotchfinger,

Your search is so definitely NOT fruitless or juvenile.

Existential angst is something that visits us when we are enlightened enough to ask the question! I think the answer is different for everyone, but with one common theme. Meaningful emotional relationships. They could be socially and/or romantically with people, caring for animals, loving the earth, worship of a deity as just some examples.

The commonality is emotional relationships that provide meaning to us. Essentially, love and caring, being loved and being cared for and about.

Paul

What's the point?

Paul — Thu, 07 Jan 2016 00:48:18 GMT

Hey Durras,

Hugs!

In reading your reply, something occurred to me. In your reply you mention a lot of things such as people stepping on each other to get ahead, wanting to be slim, wanting to be pretty, not having too far to fall etc.

I think that the psychological drive for all of these is popularity, attraction, success and ability to keep up. These are all traits that we as social animals need in order to be accepted by a wider group. That's imprinted into our brain. To keep up or get left behind is something that impacts us pretty fundamentally and can be unconsciously scary as hell too.

Paul x

What's the point?

Moonstruck — Thu, 07 Jan 2016 01:08:41 GMT

....What a coincidence that "What's The Point?" came up today.......I've been thinking that exact same way all morning....a close friend came over and I greeted him with "Give me a hug, I feel so depressed all of a sudden...for no reason..nothing horrible has happened...I just think Whats the Point?.....What are we all doing here? We're just all stuck here...on this planet...muddling around....until our time is up!....Why do we bother...with....."anything" really? Why do people keep having innocent babies...bringing them into this mess of a world? Why?

Well, Scotchfinger my old sweet friend.....man's search for meaning...in this case yours....is possibly fruitless...but we continue to search anyway....I think the more intelligent of us search longer and deeper which can be depressing.....as we'll never find the answer!!! I keep waiting to hear the answer from close friends who have passed over..."what's it like over there? What are we all here for? Tell me, tell me...

If all else fails....watch an old Woody Allen movie, Hannah & Her Sisters had some great lines of his, on just this subject!!

Wasn't it Shakespeare who said "Life is a tale told by an idiot...full of sound and fury..signifying..nothing!!"

beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

What's the point?

MisterM — Thu, 07 Jan 2016 01:34:11 GMT

Hi Scotchfinger,

That is exactly how I think and feel when I am depressed.
I often ask myself why am I here on this planet, what is the point of life, we are going to die anyways.
I wish I could free myself from the pain.

What's the point?

Durras — Thu, 07 Jan 2016 01:42:08 GMT

Hi Lats

This may sound like a silly question but I'm slow to reading and understanding.

Was I wrong for mentioning those things?

This is how I have struggled and your right it is scary as hell and unfortunately this is how I perceive the world around me. My sincere apologies if I was wrong or should have said it differently.

Durras

What's the point?

Scotchfinger — Thu, 07 Jan 2016 01:44:23 GMT

I was going to use the words "existential angst" but I was worried people might think I am posing as an intellectual drama queen! 🙂

What's the point?

Paul — Thu, 07 Jan 2016 03:49:14 GMT

Oh Hey Durras,

No no no, not at all. I'm sorry I gave that impression.

I love what you wrote and I too wish people were less selfish and horrible and it didn't affect me as is does too.

I wanted to add and expand on your thoughts because I think what you said has so much to do with the meaning of life and so much to do with us fundamentally as humans.

Many of us struggle with what you've mentioned, being trampled on by others, having people recognise our talents, loving ourselves enough, questioning whether we are lovable enough, ways to cope with failure and setting our own expectations - just a few.

My other reason for writing what I did is to say - It's such a fundamental thing for us to behave as you describe because we're programmed to make sure we don't get left behind by anyone, unfortunately those who are horrible to others are trying to make sure they don't get left behind but don't do it with love, respect or introspection like we do and like you describe.

I'm sorry I wasn't clear enough and I hope I haven't upset you. It sincerely wasn't my intention.

Paul xx

What's the point?

Durras — Thu, 07 Jan 2016 04:04:21 GMT

Hey Paul,

back at you NO No No not at all, you haven't upset me and apologies for making you think that too.

Gosh if only I could understand things better and had more knowledge or wisdom then this misunderstanding wouldn't of happened so it is from me and my apologies.

I hate to think I have hurt someone's feelings so that was my reason for asking only, if maybe I should have put my wording into a better structure.

Thank you for your response and clarification I do appreciate it very much.

Again my apologies for the misunderstanding that was from me not you, I'm slow.

Durras