topic Crying because others are hurt in Depression

Crying because others are hurt

Guest_1055 — Sun, 03 Jan 2016 12:13:53 GMT

Hello to any people that read this....

I was wondering if anyone else can relate to what is happening to me.

I have been a member on BB for a couple of months. During this time a have read a lot of other people posts, like what is happening to them, and how they feel. And sometimes my heart hurts after I read their words. Often times I cry about the pain they have felt, because I can't stand the thought of anyone else hurting or in pain in any way.

They are all strangers to me, yet they are not at the same time. All I want to do is give them hugs. True some of the feelings they have are no stranger to me, because I have felt them. But the person is..... And I do feel a little connection to some people.

But mostly this is all I can do, just cry,give hugs and tell little stories. And sometimes I feel useless, because I cannot offer advice or something. I even feel a bit dumb, because everyone else seems to give advice, but I am unable, because I don't know what advice to give. And I wouldn't want to give the wrong advice anyway. I don't seem to operate much from the head, just emotions and feelings.

I do care very much about every single person that I read about.

Can anyone relate at all? And now all I want to do his give each of you a hug to thankyou for giving your time to me in reading my words.

So here is my hug and with all my heart I say thank you.

Shelley xx

Crying because others are hurt

Guest_5218 — Sun, 03 Jan 2016 12:26:55 GMT

Hello Shelley my friend.

You dont need to be, say or do anything more than what you already are. You plainly do not realise the impact you have on all of us. I said to you on another thread which you started (worthless) that I sometimes think you care about others too much. I meant that. Its great that you care so much about everyone else, but it cant be that good for your own welfare. And I do worry about you because you care so much about others.

You dont have to be full of fancy advise to be a fantastic support to people. You, just being you, is more than enough to make people feel good. I know everyone who knows you on the BB Forums loves you heaps Shell. Just knowing that you care about people is enough. And there are times that your hugs alone get me through. So thankyou so much for always being there Shelley, with all those emotions and feelings you emit through your heartfelt dialogue.

Reading your words on this post Shelley does make me sad though, because you dont appear to see your own worth. I so wish you could see in yourself what everyone else out here sees. Please just continue to be you.

With much love

Sherie xx

Crying because others are hurt

white knight — Sun, 03 Jan 2016 12:35:06 GMT

Hi Shelley anne

You really are a darling.

This collections of feeling is a gift and you should be in awe that you are one of the lucky ones that has it. Rather than someone that feels bounded like handcuffs when they can assist others.

Much of the help we regulars give to others is from our own experiences. In my case, I have 3 serious issues/illnesses, had owned 80 cars, 60 jobs, 15 professions and couldn't understand most of my life why I was so manic. That resulted in a lot of experience to pass on especially now that I'm quite stable.

However, you need to get life into perspective. Life will always have people in need that we cannot help no matter how hard we try. My wife hit a bird with our car the other day and she was so upset. I reminded her that for every fatal hit of a bird there are 200 close misses.

Positive thinking can help you. To achieve this you could attend motivation lectures. I did in 1982 and am always positive. There has been the odd hiccup but by and large I find a positive out of every negative. To change a negative into a positive is now automatic for me.

But in your case you could continue on with your good work here and do your best. That is always good enough. As my therapist said to me many years ago "Tony...stop trying to save the world".

Finally, nurture your love for others. As I said - its a gift. Not all people have that.

Tony WK

Crying because others are hurt

geoff — Sun, 03 Jan 2016 18:28:37 GMT

dear Shelly, you're such an emotional type person and care for everyone who posts on this site, and even if you don't know what to say, except to offer your love and support, then that's all you need, because people in depression feel as though they have been rejected in so many ways in life, because we all know the disadvantages of being depressed, whatever type of depression it is, so support and care is something that's good for them.

None of us are geniuses, but what we can say to those who post a comment about their life and what is troubling them so much, is that if we have been through exactly the same, then we are able to respond back to them, whether or not they want to take our advice is only up to them.

Talking about depression is very personal, it's soul searching and I accept that this person we reply to may disregard what we have to say at one particular time, but then a few weeks later may read their post again and then realise that maybe what was said had some truth to it, but were unable to focus and to concentrate at that time because of their heavy depression, but love can always be said to them, and that's what you are able to give them back.

Some people find it difficult to express their love, but that's OK because that's the way they were brought up to be, but then express their love to you in another way, that's why everyone is different. Geoff. x

Crying because others are hurt

KTOCD — Sun, 03 Jan 2016 21:33:27 GMT

Dear Shelley,

You are an amazing, caring, sensitive, understanding, intelligent, thoughtful, welcoming, warm, considerate and huggable champion on here.

you made me feel at ease and accepted here when I first came. Was just what I needed. Never doubt yourself!!

Crying because others are hurt

Guest_1055 — Sun, 03 Jan 2016 21:46:10 GMT

Thank you Sherie, Tony, Geoff and KT. It means a lot that you replied and have given me some of your attention and time. Appreciate it. Today my head is spinning, so I don't think I can write much. I do feel a little reassured by your words to me. I am going to go to sleep now. If I ever met any of you in person, just know I would give you thankful and comforting hug.

Shelley xxxx

Crying because others are hurt

Durras — Sun, 03 Jan 2016 23:37:20 GMT

Hi Shelley,

I want to give you a massive hug and know it sounds strange but then not let go until your tears are ended.

I've only been on BB for maybe a month, I have read many of your posts and you seem like such a beautiful and amazing person and very caring with every word you put on here with your responses.

I guess it would be easy if we could all meet in a café and chat face to face with everyone about our experiences and then feel the hugs of support in person, that would be so beautiful if only possible. Unfortunately we have only our computers to communicate to one another but I know every word read on the BB forum is from people who sincerely care, understand my situation and are deeply passionate in reaching out to help.

Were not professionals in the field of depression and anxiety by ways of having certified diplomas but we are certified in ways of our experiences of dealing with it which is what we offer everyone on here and it is up to all individuals what they choose to do with our advice, suggestions and with our sharing of our own personal experiences.

Shelly never feel that you don't have enough to say or advise for others as I do understand thou cause often I do feel that way myself. I think reaching out with a BIG HUG as you so often do is maybe all that people may need, just to know someone is out there who understands, sends a hug and has made a small connection. I think just the connection with a hug is an important part of our therapy and this is what we are all sharing.

I know I have blabbered on here and I hope it makes sense.

Shelly thank you for being you, Ive only been here as I said not long but reading your posts your a beautiful person and please don't stop being yourself.

BIG HUG TO YOU

Durras

Crying because others are hurt

Simona — Sun, 03 Jan 2016 23:50:09 GMT

I am sincerely concerned for you

Please know that you are in my thoughts. What everyone has said is true Shelley anne.

Take care out there.

Crying because others are hurt

Guest_1055 — Tue, 05 Jan 2016 00:48:41 GMT

Hey Durras,

I did feel like you were hugging me in a massive way, as I read your words to me. So thankyou so much for your kindness. This may sound strange, but I don't even know who myself is? But if I feel the tears well up in my eyes, as I read what other people say, well I guess I will just let them flow. And I guess if I feel like hugging them, in hope they will feel comforted or something....... well I will keep doing that. And you thinking it is strange to want to hug me, like you said. Well yes I can definitely, definitely relate to that.

So here is a hug that has thankfulness in it, for you.

Shelley xx

Crying because others are hurt

Guest_1055 — Tue, 05 Jan 2016 01:03:51 GMT

Thankyou for your concern for me, Simona, even though that is not your real name. I read that somewhere else. And I am not sure what else to say, except thank you.

With love to you

Shelley xx

Crying because others are hurt

Scotchfinger — Tue, 05 Jan 2016 02:11:46 GMT

Put me down on the long list of Shelley fans.

Crying because others are hurt

Zeal — Tue, 05 Jan 2016 02:47:54 GMT

Hi Shelley,

You have an immense amount of empathy and compassion. It's both a gift and a curse. It's a gift because you can sympathise with others, and will be loved and cared about by many because of this. The not so good part is being overwhelmed by the suffering and problems of others. I personally think having high levels of empathy is more of a gift, even if it can be overwhelming at times 🙂

You are such a kind and loving person, and you never need to change any part of who you are. I am surprised you have only been on the forum for a few months, considering the sheer amount of posts you have made! Even though you don't feel you can give advice, your presence and input on this forum is very positive and welcoming.

If you are ever emotionally overwhelmed by stories or comments on the forum, you could take a break for a few days if you need to. Everyone needs an emotional break sometimes. If you find suicide a triggering topic, perhaps don't read too much in the Suicidal thoughts and self-harm section of the forum.

Guest_1055 — Wed, 06 Jan 2016 21:59:21 GMT

Hey Scotchfinger

I am unsure of what to say to you in regards to your post here, only that I appreciate you very much.

Hug

Shelley xx