topic Worthless in Depression

Worthless

Guest_1055 — Tue, 17 Nov 2015 03:44:06 GMT

Hello

I am wanting to know if anyone else feels just worthless. And what they did about that feeling that creeps inside of you.

Thanks

Worthless

Zeal — Tue, 17 Nov 2015 04:09:47 GMT

Hi Shelley Anne,

I had very low self-esteem in my teen years. I didn't think I was funny, interesting or accomplished at anything, and was self-critical of my appearance. As a consequence, I was socially awkward. I had mild depression in my teens, as well as severe OCD, and when I was 18 and 19, an eating disorder. I still have OCD, but it is milder and more manageable with the help of SSRI's.

My self-esteem has been much healthier since the age of 21. What changed is my decision to study psychology full-time at uni, and also joining an organisation as a volunteer early last year (shortly after I turned 21). As of January I have been spending time with a new group of people. My best friend introduced me to what is now our friendship group (mainly her boyfriend's friends from high school). I started dating a really nice guy in this group earlier this year, and he is now my boyfriend of almost 6 months.

Doing things outside of yourself really helps with self-esteem. Keeping busy (but not overloading yourself) ensures you don't have too much time to dwell on negative emotions. It has actually been proven in studies that volunteering is good for your mental health and wellbeing. I can attest to this! I love coming on these forums and giving advice when I can, and also mentoring a girl with an intellectual disability. You can learn new things about yourself too, as well as focusing on the needs of someone else. If you are busy with work and/or children, then this might make doing extra things a bit difficult. Though if you have kids at school, you could help out at the canteen or in the library.

Doing things which you enjoy and that give you a sense of purpose can really help with this feeling of worthlessness. Making that step to start doing different activities is the biggest obstacle really. Once you start doing something, it can become a regular routine.

If there are others that put you down or even unintentionally cause you to feel bad about yourself, tell them what they are doing or saying is hurtful (if you can). I find the media to be a bit overwhelming. Avoid reading magazines and online gossip columns, as these are rarely good for one's self-esteem! Face book and other avenues of social media should also be used in moderation. These forums are in a category of their own though, and are productive and helpful.

If this feeling is severe and doesn't ease, then I recommend seeing your GP.

Best wishes,

Worthless

Neil_1 — Tue, 17 Nov 2015 23:19:50 GMT

Dear Shelley anne

Yes, the feeling of being worthless does strike us and as a result can really affect us negatively. However, there are strategies to overcome it or even to lessen it, so it doesn’t dominate you.

That’s the critical thing – to incorporate strategies into your day so you can start on things that will assist you being focussed on other things and all the while, helping you along the way.

I cannot speak more highly about SM’s response to you – she went in depth about it all and then listed a number of great examples of things that you could possibly take up. Stemming from that, it might have also triggered something in you to think, “Hey yeah, I could do this” or “I could try that, and that might be an ok thing to do”.

It’s the initial part of starting; but I feel by you coming here and posting, that was indeed, your first step. Once you feel ok to do so, it’s then time to take that ‘next’ step. As SM said, try to get the mind active and occupied, but not so busy that it becomes overwhelming. Try to strike that happy medium.

But also know that we are here for you. So please, we’d love to hear back from you on this if you feel ok to do so.

Neil

Worthless

Guest_1055 — Tue, 17 Nov 2015 23:36:29 GMT

Thanks Neil for your reply to me, it is probably what I needed right now,like at this moment. So I do thank you.

Just a few minutes ago, I went through a horrible sort of conflict situation. I hate it so much, my heart physically races. And I just want to go, go somewhere where it will not hurt anymore. I do not know if you understand. But I do thank you for giving me your time.

Worthless

Simona — Tue, 17 Nov 2015 23:50:03 GMT

Morning Shelley anne : )

Very sorry to read you are having a bad moment. Maybe try to distract yourself with something that feels good. Like, I do the housework (stress relief, feel good endorphins) then I play with my hair for abit doing different styles and maybe make-up.

I hope you feel better very soon : )

I don't feel worthless I just feel misunderstood

Worthless

Guest_1055 — Wed, 18 Nov 2015 00:15:13 GMT

Thank you Simona, I will physically push myself to have a shower and go and hang out the wet washing. And I am sorry you feel mis understood, I know what that is like too.

Bye

Worthless

Turtle_eyes — Wed, 18 Nov 2015 04:13:44 GMT

Hi Shelly,

I have lived with Depression for over 10 years and feelings of worthlessness is it's greatest mantra, in my experience.

As I write this I am in my second week off from work as I am changing medications due to the very feelings you mentioned arising strongly in my life again.

What works for me is to stop drinking alcohol completely, drink lots of water, eat really well, and see my Psychologist.

It was so hard for me at the start of last week that I felt no drive to get better, so I drank too much, which is like plugging a hole in a boat with a stick of dynamite.....

.....I had very bad thoughts after that, but the counselling helped me see it from the outside, and after 5 clean days, no alcohol, no junk food, and very little In my day to stress me I feel like I see the way out of it. Keep life simple, watch your thoughts float by, like clouds in the sky. Don't compare yourself to anyone, but who you were yesterday.

Hope this helps.

Turtle eyes....because there eyes are so beautiful.

Worthless

Guest_1055 — Wed, 18 Nov 2015 08:07:59 GMT

Hello turtle eyes

The worthlessness feeling is one I want to well, just stomp on with all my physical strength whenever it creeps up.

I am so sorry you have had depression for over 10 years. And I like the idea of watching your thoughts float away like clouds. That sounds so very peaceful and calming. almost like the bad thoughts just don't even affect you at all.

Thank you enough for caring about me Ed

Shelley anne

PS- I have never really looked close at a turtles eyes, but I will now.

Worthless

Guest_1055 — Wed, 18 Nov 2015 08:30:04 GMT

Hello SM

Thank you for your reply to me. I truly appreciate you doing that. I know keeping busy helps ,because you can take your eyes off yourself, and focus on something else.

I can easily relate to your feelings of awkwardness in social settings. I hate that feeling too, " the I want to hide" feeling.

I think I feel worthless, when no one notices me, that I am invisible. Like I am not important enough to them to even bother with, if that makes any sense?? Anyway I think I am talking about myself way too much here.

And good on you for studying something at uni, that could help a lot of people.

Hugs

Worthless

Gruffudd — Wed, 18 Nov 2015 11:39:17 GMT

Hi there Shelley anne,

You certainly are not invisible, not here, I see all sorts responding to you and what you bring. I do know that feeling of being just worthless, thanks to Leunig I have a certificate of irrelevance framed and on the wall next to my degree. It is a healthy reminder that being just one out of seven billion does make me rather insignificant, but also without me the whole would be the lesser. Your worth is not a comparative matter, it is in bing yourself - no one but you can be that.

Worthless

Guest_1055 — Wed, 18 Nov 2015 22:29:09 GMT

Hello Rob

Your last sentence gave me a real simple and clear picture of what it is that makes us as humans feel like we have worth. I have been thinking about this a lot over the last week.

After reading a lot of other people's posts, so many say they feel worthless. I wanted to help them feel that they were not.

I think I know the fact that we are of worth, like in my head. But some how I don't feel it. Or it is not a part of me.

Who is Leuing?

Bye and thankyou

Worthless

Neil_1 — Thu, 19 Nov 2015 00:02:26 GMT

Dear Shelley anne

Keep fighting the excellent fight Shelley anne. The responses you’ve received here have been truly awesome. Even I’ve picked up a number of good things from the posts provided.

You’re NOT insignificant and definitely NOT worthless. You’re a special person who has a truly special place in this world. And that is right where you are at this moment. And you know what, the world needs more people like you in it, cause if there were more people in this world like you, we’d be a heaps better planet.

And to those who create conflict and hostility, they are the ones who need to look long and hard at themselves – nothing more than plain bullies they are – I could say a lot worse about those kinds as well, but I don’t want to be too negative here.

Oh oh, and please please don’t be saying that you’re writing too much about yourself. Of course you can. This is YOUR thread and we’re here for you.

Hope to chat again soon.

Neil

Worthless

Guest_1055 — Thu, 19 Nov 2015 04:23:31 GMT

Hi Neil

The tears started to roll down my face, not of sadness but of thankfulness to you, for the kindness you gave to me which was, betrayed in your words.

And is that your little dog in your picture?

Bye

Worthless

Neil_1 — Thu, 19 Nov 2015 23:09:02 GMT

Dear Shelley anne

I’m so pleased that the words were of great meaning for you – and I would like you to re-read that message often. It’s very important, just as you are.

That cute little adorable puppy was my Mum’s dog (Tess) – Mum lost her battle with cancer a year ago in mid-October and we took Tess to look after. She’s now 16yo, cannot hear a thing, but is the most gorgeous little bundle of joy; for me, she’s still an extension of my Mum and we love her immensely. Oh boy, I could write and write about her and how wonderful she is – she gets pampered to the max AND she deserves it as well.

Do you have any pets? They can be the most uplifting thing – and can really make a difference to how your day is going.

Kind regards

Neil

Worthless

Guest_1055 — Sat, 21 Nov 2015 07:30:53 GMT

Hello Neil

I took hold of your advice, and I have re read your post, in fact I have read it many times. And still it brings thankful tears.

I am sorry for the loss of your mum. I think she would be honored to know how her son blessed me.

What sort of dog is Tess? I was trying to work out if she was a maltese or some other terrier? You sure sound like you really love her. Yes we did have a dog, and he also was pretty cute. His name was Coco. I have had many pets, I had a couple of birds, when I was younger, and a white rabbit named Twitchy. I also had a little black cat, with white on her paws. She was my only friend at one time, so I was very emotionally attached to her. And you are right pets can make a difference. They just love you, and you can love them back.

And I am quite willing to read anything that you write about Tess. So you can ramble heaps if you want.

OK bye now.

Worthless

Neil_1 — Mon, 23 Nov 2015 23:19:42 GMT

Dear Shelley anne

Thank you so much for your kind words and latest reply. It’s really tough when you want someone to live forever and yet, we all know this can’t happen; that’s just the way life is.

Little Tess is a silky terrier and though she’s getting quite wonky, we are doing all we can to keep her going. She’s so full of life and still manages a bit of a gallop of a morning. Very funny to watch.

Yes you are right – because they are so close to us, we do form a very emotional attachment to them – I feel very strongly that they form part of our family.

How are you going at the moment? I hope your weekend was a good one and if you feel not so flash, I hope you’re able to let us know so we can try to help you and support you through this.

Kind regards

Neil

Worthless

Guest_1055 — Tue, 24 Nov 2015 01:32:09 GMT

Hi Neil,

I am so glad little Tess gives you such blessings, she looks like she has had a good hair cut, so she should be cool for summer.

I am plodding along much better, even managed a two and a half hour walk on Sunday, along the beach and rocks near the ocean. By the way thank you for asking.

Better go now, someone in the house needs me for something.

Bye now

Worthless

Neil_1 — Tue, 24 Nov 2015 02:45:12 GMT

Shelley anne

That’s awesome to hear about you getting out and about – that’s one hell of an excellent walk – two and a half hours; and oh boy, along a beach and that kind of area. That sounded superb.

You probably already know this, but – you know where things are now on here – please keep in touch whenever you feel the need. Or even if you’re not quite sure if you’re in need, it never hurts to post with a question or just to unload; I know I’ve done this in the past and it does help.

Wishing you more awesome walks and more positive thoughts.

Neil

Ps: yes, as Tess is now 16yo, she doesn’t cope too well with the hotter weather, so we get her trimmed to try and keep her cool.

Worthless

Guest_1055 — Wed, 25 Nov 2015 00:30:53 GMT

Hi Neil

I too have found posting our thoughts and feelings in written form helpful. I don't know..... you can just get it all out, and not keep it bottled inside. And I actually feel listen to. And even that fact of being listened too helps me feel not so worthless. And I am very thankful, for all the understanding and kindness I have been given here.

To tell you the truth, before I joined Beyond Blue, I was not aware that there was actually other people in this world that had similar thoughts and experiences as mine. If that makes any sense????

Outside of these forums I never really talk much verbally, I always listen to people, and in here where it is safe, I do have the opportunity to actually have a say.

And you Neil have given me such fatherly, big brotherly advice.

Anyway I hope you are having a good day today and I do thank you for listening to me ramble on and on.

Hugs

Shelley anne

Worthless

Lucille — Wed, 25 Nov 2015 13:29:04 GMT

Oh Shelley Anne,

Thank goodness these forums are helping you, because no one should ever have to feel worthless. Especially when they care so much about, and put so much effort into, the lives of others.

I hope so much that you will one day soon overcome all these bad bad feelings, because you are a wonderful person who deserves to live happily.