topic here we go again in Depression

here we go again

BLACK_BEAN — Thu, 14 May 2015 07:59:30 GMT

After many years of being manageable the depression has come back with a vengeance. To the point of tears on Sunday. Had a great talk with my partner to let her know where I am at. From that point things changed,and was feeling much better, but today can feel that mood changing. Just want this to stop.

here we go again

Zeal — Fri, 15 May 2015 00:55:42 GMT

Hello Black Bean,

I’m sorry to hear you’ve had a depression flare-up. Do you know what could have triggered this, or are you under intense pressure lately? Sometimes a huge life change can trigger old mental health problems. This has happened for me with anxiety. It’s great that you’ve had a good talk with your partner about this – open communication is the best way to deal with this situation. So good on you!

In order to nip in the bud this plunge back into depression, seeing your GP is a great idea. They can refer you to a counsellor or psychologist for more specific help. You’ve already done a great thing in coming to this forum! I’ve had mild to moderate depression before, but that was in my early teens. Hopefully others with more experience of depression will give you some extra advice :)

Good luck, and take care

here we go again

Neil_1 — Fri, 15 May 2015 01:48:34 GMT

Hi there Black Bean

Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you for coming here and providing your post.

May I ask in the past, how were you able to manage your depression? Did you have gp appointments, counselling sessions, perhaps meds that you took?

Prior to Sunday when was your last gp appointment and also, IF you were on anti-depressants, did you go off them, or are you still taking them?

Do you feel there some kind of catalyst that happened on Sunday to you to cause the tears brewing up? In my own case, I feel an overwhelming desire in the days and even weeks leading up to a certain time to cry, but just cannot – so did you feel like things were building up for you, or was it a case of something happened on Sunday and whooshka, the tears began to flow?

Do hope to hear back from you.

Neil

here we go again

BLACK_BEAN — Sun, 17 May 2015 05:41:30 GMT

Thanks everyone for your advice,

I do feel it builds up to the point. I recognise this but an unable to stop it. Have been on medication before but had bad experience with it. Just feels like I've gone back 10 years.

here we go again

BLACK_BEAN — Sun, 17 May 2015 06:42:34 GMT

People are just bleeding me dry.

beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

here we go again

BLACK_BEAN — Sun, 17 May 2015 08:24:17 GMT

Just gets to the point of I had enough

here we go again

Neil_1 — Sun, 17 May 2015 21:44:49 GMT

Hi there Black Bean

Can you please write back - let us know how you're going?

Was your weekend, good, bad, indifferent?

Please write back soon.

Kind regards

Neil

here we go again

AshleighGee — Tue, 19 May 2015 10:52:45 GMT

I feel like I experience this every few months, at the very end of 2012 I began to have my first bout of depression and it was very terrible, new and scary. People around me noticed and it was not good. That went on for about 6 months and I didn't ask or get any help. Then mid 2013 I had a very good 3 months, then back to the way it was. This time I got frustrated and upset and I started to get help and I took the first step by telling my mum and I went to the doctors and began medication and counselling early 2014. 2014 was a good year of change and it was well and so was I, I had that clarity in my brain and I grew a lot. Anxiety did kick in quite badly mid year and went on for a few months (I think it was induced by the medication, antidepressant). I was doing very very well. in December 2014 I slowly weaned off the antidepressant after a full year of use and I felt my brain un-cloud in a way? The medication didn't make me someone else but I realise that I wasn't fully myself, positive or negative effect I'm not sure. At the begging of school 2015 after a full year of recovery I begun to 'relapse' and it saddened me because I knew what was ahead, I got very unwell for the first 3-4 months of 2015. I'm doing my best and continuously working on this and I'm interested to see how my 'illness' will affect me throughout my life, if I eventually move away from my current non-desirable situation will I fully recover? when I finish school will I be better? when I can drive will I be better? will it just be one of those things that just linger in my life every few months that I have to push through? Every day I learn more from my depression/anxiety. I'm not a lost soul and I have a purpose, I'm bitter and the chemicals in my brain are out of balance but I'm just one of those things that takes time.

here we go again

Neil_1 — Tue, 19 May 2015 23:27:51 GMT

Hi there AshleighGee

And welcome to Beyond Blue.

Thanx for providing your post and from the sound of it, you’re fairly young (in that (A) you’re still in school and (B) you’re of a driving age as yet).

It is great that you’ve got these symptoms addressed and that you’re working on plans to battle it and that you’re trying hard to beat it or at least keep it at bay.

You know, it could just be the current situation that you’re experiencing – and on this site, we get a fair number of younger posters coming here to unload with their issues and troubles, so please also know that you’re not on your own with what you’re experiencing.

When you say non-desirable situation – are you referring to school or something perhaps in your home life? You actually don’t need to answer this if you don’t feel comfortable in doing so, it’s just that if it’s school, then again you aren’t on your own with these issues.

Would love to hear back from you on this.

Kind regards

Neil

here we go again

geoff — Tue, 19 May 2015 23:57:47 GMT

dear Black Bean, I have just been reading some posts that I haven't responded toand found yours, and I'm so sorry that I haven't been here to help you with SM and Neil my good friends in their support for you, which is indeed a very serious post that needs all our assistance.

I would dearly love for you to get back to us, as it's been 3 days since you posted, and in depression that's a long time, so please just post something so that we know you are OK.

(AshleighGee I will reply to you.) Geoff.

here we go again

BLACK_BEAN — Wed, 20 May 2015 10:14:01 GMT

Geoff,

Things have started out ok for the week. Thank you. But I am noticing a more frequent time of being down. While at work things are ok. Alone time is bad. One little bad thought snowballs into the end. I just want to be normal.

here we go again

geoff — Wed, 20 May 2015 20:27:25 GMT

dear AshleighGee, as my friend Neil has said you must be a young adolescent and yes we do have many young kids who post on this site, which is really brave of you all.

I am also interested in this 'non-desirable' situation, however what seems to be happening is that you have periods of depression and then you feel good, so there seems to be a pattern here.

I am concerned that you have stopped your antidepressant (AD), maybe the dose was too high for you and there are many different types of AD, some affect a person in a positive way while to others they have too many bad side-effects, so is it possible for you to go back to your doctor and try another one, but on a low dose to start with.

Unfortunately people who have suffered from depression are prone for it to come back, simply because their mind is susceptible to what goes on as we are able to to read what has been said and if whatever is said will upset us.

A good point here is that we become stronger, we don't realise it, and I'm not talking about muscle strength here but mind strength, and this is good, but more so we learn so much from our depression, such as who are our friends and who will help us in need of support, and indeed this could be quite a shock to know who will and who won't and definitely be a surprise to us.

I do honour everyone who has depression because deep down they are all good lovely people who have been struck down by an illness they certainly didn't deserve.

I would love to hear back from you. Geoff.

here we go again

Neil_1 — Wed, 20 May 2015 22:51:16 GMT

Hi Black Bean

Thanx heaps for getting back to us – and as weird as this is going to sound, what you’re experiencing, while it is awful, it is a horrible thing/illness that we have to contend with, but from what you explain, it is normal (amongst us).

I think there’s been so many discussions over the time about just what IS normal – so that’s another topic for another time.

I was so pleased to read that the start of your week started out ok – which is brilliant. “While at work, things are ok”; which again is awesome, and I believe this is because we are responsible for things to happen, to be done and as such, our minds are pretty much occupied for that entire time (well for most of it). So that the evil thoughts can’t quite intrude, so yes, when we’re alone or having down time, it’s then that they can come back to us and burn us down.

This is where we need to have a number of mechanisms in place so we can try to keep these awful thoughts/feelings at bay.

So yep, work is one of them.

Being on some kind of medication can certainly help as well – to be releasing the chemicals that we can’t naturally produce.

Forms of activities such as hobbies, exercise, sports, music, reading, just things that interest us – so we can help to occupy our minds as much as possible and by doing this, it can hopefully help to push those evil thoughts to the back of our head – the further the better.

I hope I’ve made some kind of sense for you, Black Bean. And as always, please write back, it’s awesome to hear from you.

Kind regards

Neil

here we go again

BLACK_BEAN — Fri, 22 May 2015 08:52:12 GMT

Well is the end of week. I know what is coming or what is starting to set in. It is my chance to get hold of before it gets to bad

here we go again

Neil_1 — Sun, 24 May 2015 21:39:46 GMT

Hi B.B.

The weekend has come and gone - how was it for you?

Neil