topic New to depression.... in Depression

New to depression....

Carom — Sat, 27 Feb 2016 13:14:02 GMT

It's just hit me in the last few weeks that I'm actually depressed. So depressed. I thought I was crazy. My marriage is suffering. I feel like I'm being a distant mum who is adversely affecting my children, I'm a terrible wife and my own worst enemy. I used to be the life of the party, now I avoid a group of friends. We are in couples counselling but I think I am the ultimate problem and need to be in individual therapy to really make a difference. I don't even have a question here...just looking to find out what you guys have done to take steps towards recovery. I'm shocked and in complete despair that I am actually in this situation. I don't feel like I'm me anymore.

New to depression....

Lost_Girl — Sat, 27 Feb 2016 13:36:28 GMT

Hi Carom,

I am only new to these forums to but can't recommend them enough. There are some very kind and helpful people here who will be able to help.

Having recently been diagnosed with major depression I can relate to your situation. Like you I stopped doing things with my friends and became unable to help around the house or with the kids activities. I felt helpless and useless. My depression is from chronic pain but even though it's different from yours I know the first step to moving forward is a visit to your GP. In this situation your GP is the centre of moving forward. They can refer you to specialists like a psychologist if needed.

It's great that you have been able to take the first step in coming here because now you don't have to do this on your own. Great work! There is a group of people here to offer you support.

I hope you might feel up to seeing your GP soon. Here for you either way if you want to chay and I'm sure you will get hear from other lovely people here soon.

Take care,

Carol

New to depression....

Dwwmills — Sat, 27 Feb 2016 23:13:39 GMT

Hi Carom.

I echo what Lost Girl says. See the GP and get a referral for some professional help. It’ll make a very big difference and you won’t be tackling this thing alone then.

All the best.

Dean

New to depression....

Neil_1 — Mon, 29 Feb 2016 00:19:53 GMT

Dear Carom,

As has already been posted, I too would like to welcome you to Beyond Blue and to thank you so much for providing your post. You’ve received a couple of really wonderful posts and I also agree with Lost Girl’s post to you … in seeking out professional help now to help you on positive road.

The couple’s counselling sounds like a very good thing as well and I do hope that this is being met with some good results and positive thoughts, as well as different approaches you can make to get that ‘fire’ sparking up again. It never has to be anything major, just little things can make a huge difference.

With all things, especially for our depression, the activity of setting little goals is a good way to approach things. Make them little and achievable goals – so that when you complete them you feel good … you feel good that you’ve achieved and accomplished something.

I refer it back to wanting to climb a mountain or at least, a large hill – you don’t go out and tackle it straight up without any training. You firstly go and get to a certain height or place – an achievement, not huge, just small, but still achieved. You then head back down. Job well done; then the next time, you might just go a little further and tick off another goal achieved. All the while, you’re building up your stamina to get further the next time.

That’s a bit like with depression. Setting little goals in being able to do things through a day; it could be tidying up the home, doing the dishes, or the washing. It could be just being able to get to work; or even could be just being able to get out of bed or to have a shower. It’s totally up to you as to which goals you’d like to set.

These are the other things that you can set in place, as well as getting appropriate counselling; and possibly the taking of medication(s) if your GP deems it to be helpful.

Hope this has helped somewhat and not got you too confused by my ramblings.

Neil

New to depression....

Lost_Girl — Sat, 12 Mar 2016 22:57:56 GMT

Hi Carom,

Just checking in to see how you're going. If you get some time it would be nice to hear from you.

Thinking of you,

Carol

New to depression....

aviendha — Thu, 31 Mar 2016 21:58:55 GMT

I don't really have a answer for you. I have a question for you. WHY? why do you think you feel like this? Couples therapy sounds really good, but if the "feeling of wrong" is not within your marriage, your partner, family or kids, or any other person close to you, if you try it and it doesn't feel better, maybe you need to talk to someone just for yourself. Not for anyone else's benefit. Maybe you need to talk to someone just for YOU. Not for anyone else. just for YOU. You DESERVE it. Maybe this time it should just be for you, about you and for your future. Maybe try to talk to someone just about you. You haven't done anything wrong and neither has your family. But maybe this time it is you and only you that needs to go and talk to someone. Try it. You deserve everything. And so does the ones you love. Go by yourself and tell everything. Just once. Well. That is my advice at least.

New to depression....

Bookworm8 — Fri, 08 Apr 2016 08:35:40 GMT

Hi Carom,

I'm sorry to hear how you're feeling. I'm only 19 but have had depression for years that has only been managed through antidepressants, mistakes, time and love.

I completely relate to you when you feel like you aren't yourself - unfortunately depression is now a significant part of my identity, and it isn't going to go away any time soon.

All I can say is that being open about my mental health has been the best thing for me. I hide it from no one. Not to say that I push it in people's faces, but I'm open to questions being asked and it is no secret. My friendships and relationships have not suffered because of this, but strengthened. I appreciate that not everyone is so blessed, but I truly believe most people will try to understand, even if they don't really "get it."

One thing that has taken me so long to learn is that ALL my feelings are valid, even if they are irrational, illogical or random. I don't need to be guilty or ashamed - it is beyond my control and I am a human that makes mistakes. I don't need to compare my level of pain to others - we are all hurting and one kind of hurt is as valid as another.

You are going to experience so many emotions - they are all okay they are all real.

I only started to get better when I found a psychiatrist (I had seen many, many, many counsellors and psychologists who I couldn't stand) who was realistic, treated my depression as a real illness based on chemical and biological science and stopped insisting that it MUST be a result of some traumatic childhood experience (it is not.)

I wish you luck and strength. You are loved and cared for.