topic Struggling to get up and do what I need to do, why is everything so hard in Depression

Struggling to get up and do what I need to do, why is everything so hard

Joey84 — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 20:06:36 GMT

I've been going through this cycle for a while where I know i need to get up n go to work an just can't. I work myself up n try be positive night before but then the time comes and I struggle and get angry bout it or just don't care if I feel literally sick bout it all and can't do it! I've been on n off anti depressants since 2012, but recently felt like they were doing more harm then good and stop taking them. I was having bad thoughts n terrible dreams and wasn't getting any sleep. I have tryed counselling once but felt like I was being looked at and treated like a looser and that they were like if you know what you need to do then why arnt you doing it. My partner try's and helps but thinks I'm just lazy. Am I? I don't think I am? I'm sick of feeling this way and I need it to change but don't know how, if I go to gp I'll get out back on meds and I'm scared to speak to a counsellor but I want to. So I guess that's why I'm now posting on here, to see if anyone else can help or knows what I'm going through... I dunno I'm just sick of everything being so hard and can't talk to family or friends bout it for fear I'll be looked at or treated different!

Struggling to get up and do what I need to do, why is everything so hard

Guest_1055 — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 22:15:16 GMT

Hello Joey84

I think I relate to you not wanting to get up. For me staying under the covers in bed, seems like a place I can hide into, you can tune out from whatever it is you think you should be doing. A feeling of safety even.

Whatever you think you should be doing, like work seems overwhelming and hard, and you just don't want to face it. Well that is what it is like for me. And sometimes, I just plain don't care. The feelings or emotions that I am having at the time are too hard to face, workout or deal with. And also for me, I go into my own little world.

I am not sure if anything that I have said is useful to you or not. But please know you are not alone. There is a lot of people who post on here that sound similar to you and me, well their experiences are similar.

If you have not found a link to other resources, I think there is one below here. Scroll down the page to the blue colour. I believe if you click on "Find Resources" you may find some more info you can read. If you want to.

I would so much like to encourage and help you more or something Joey84,but I am so much struggling myself. But I am sure there will be someone else on this forum who could shed some more light to you.

I truly care Joey84

With love xxx

Struggling to get up and do what I need to do, why is everything so hard

Joey84 — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 23:06:57 GMT

Hey Shelley anne, thanks for taking the time to reply, what you said makes me feel that I'm not the only one who thinks what I'm thinking and that I'm not weird or bad for thinking it i guess. It's been a hard year and longer and just when something good does come up I struggle to cope with it or I'm unable to do it even though I know I need too. I get right to the point and then I get nervous or worried or sick and I hate it. And it's so hard having no one to talk to or go to because of the fear that I will be judged and treated different. I don't have many friends as it is I don't want to have no one at all.

I hope that you don't have to struggle no more and that it will all work out for you!

Struggling to get up and do what I need to do, why is everything so hard

Neil_1 — Tue, 17 Nov 2015 01:00:00 GMT

Hi Joey

Welcome to Beyond Blue.

I get a real gist of your message and there’s a lot to do with the old awful stigma relating to depression (and other mental illnesses).

But I feel through this post that you’re ready to get in amongst it again and try to sort things out. I do suggest you get back to your GP and to discuss issues – or if you’re unsure about GP’s, then on this site, Beyond Blue have a list of them to search for; and these are all experienced in dealing with mental health issues. Then shaping from that, they would then be best placed to guide you to an appropriate counsellor as well.

While your partner might mean well; comments like you being lazy and the like are just detrimental and do nothing to help the situation. I also don’t think you’re lazy; you’re suffering from a mental illness and like any illness, it needs to be professionally treated, as well as, by yourself in trying to set up things in your life that may help you. Like simply eating well, drinking well (I mean, keeping hydrated here and not with soft drink, but hopefully water); trying to get adequate sleep; exercise is a biggie also. There’s so many other options as well. They all take effort, but YOU are worth it.

Also with regard to work – try as hard as you can to hang in there. I know about the ‘stay in bed’ thing and the struggle it is to get going; but that’s another thing for the self-help, that I mentioned above. It’s a real effort and a push, but if you can get to work – positives abound, like obviously, you’re getting paid; but it also can help to keep the mind occupied and it’s another mechanism for pushing those demons in the background.

I hope my message has helped and would love to hear back from you.

Neil

Struggling to get up and do what I need to do, why is everything so hard

en03 — Tue, 17 Nov 2015 01:48:42 GMT

Hey Joey84!

I know exactly how you're feeling. I used to get into this terrible routine, and it nearly cost me my job. That definitely snapped me back into reality. I think if I was back in your position, I would head back to my GP and ask for another referral to a different psychologist. For me, I need to be able to trust my psychologist, and I need to be able to find it easy to talk to them. Don't be afraid to tell them what they're saying is making you feel uncomfortable, they're supposed to help you, not bring you back down.

But keep in mind, some psychologists might think that 'tough love' will help you.

I hope everything works out for you!

Take care x

Struggling to get up and do what I need to do, why is everything so hard

Joey84 — Tue, 17 Nov 2015 02:24:52 GMT

thanks for the replies, well I lost my job this morning, just found before ill no longer be required! I can't and don't want this to keep affecting me! 😞 I can't really afford to go to the GP as ill be in shit for not trying and wasting money if I go from my partner, we have been having problems at the moment too which doesn't help but yeah, I feel like crap now and what shit timing! My fault I guess and can't be cranky or blame anyone else 😞

Struggling to get up and do what I need to do, why is everything so hard

Guest_1055 — Tue, 17 Nov 2015 03:30:18 GMT

Hello Joey

I am sorry, please don't be too hard on yourself.

Struggling to get up and do what I need to do, why is everything so hard

StefT — Tue, 17 Nov 2015 08:16:32 GMT

So you lost your job. Cool a chapter has closed. You now have time you needed to assess you life before moving on. You don't necessarily need to spend money on counseling to develop. There is a wealth of online resources a click away. A little exercise is really important also. A high achieving friend when he was unemployed made a point of going to the gym every morning then going back to bed, it worked. Going for a walk every day is enough. Good luck.

Struggling to get up and do what I need to do, why is everything so hard

Neil_1 — Tue, 17 Nov 2015 23:13:28 GMT

Hi there Joey

I’m sorry to hear about your job finishing, but you know what – StefT’s response was an absolute ripper.

My play on this also is: you WERE employed, you HAD a job, so that yells out to me that when you feel ok to do so, you WILL be able to get another job.

But for the moment, have another re-read of StefT’s response – and as mentioned, not all mechanisms for helping ourselves out on a daily basis involve money (kind of a little of what I mentioned in my first post to you also).

Would love to hear from you again.

Neil

Struggling to get up and do what I need to do, why is everything so hard

Joey84 — Tue, 24 Nov 2015 00:07:40 GMT

So not much has changed and not having work now before xmas doesn't help much, arguing is getting worse and feeling down constantly, don't feel like doing anything for fear it will be wrong, not right or good enough. I want to find and make new friends as don't have many but its hard and I'm also being criticised because I'm not aloud to have female friends which is unfair and again brings me down as all i want is a friend even just someone to talk to but yeah...

Struggling to get up and do what I need to do, why is everything so hard

Neil_1 — Tue, 24 Nov 2015 02:39:28 GMT

Hi Joey

Difficult situation it appears that you’re in.

Have you thought of options of joining a club – and really any kind of club that may strike your interest? Branching out that way to somewhere that is of interest to you can be a good way to strike up acquaintances as you will be entering into a place where people are with like-minded tastes. Stemming from that, at first acquaintances will be formed, but you never know from that about the possibility of friendships – it’s the branching out step that hopefully might be taken.

Also, with the holiday season coming up, there may be other job opportunities opening up in places where usual staff may be taking leave – perhaps not long term options, but at this point in time, a job is a job, is good yeah?

Neil

Struggling to get up and do what I need to do, why is everything so hard

Chicken_Wings — Tue, 24 Nov 2015 08:43:54 GMT

Hey Joey,

Have you sat down and had a real conversation with your girlfriend about what is going on?
She might not really understand? I think when we're depressed with think it is so obvious to everyone else. That of course they must know, look at me! But to be honest, it's not that black and white.

You are making new friends here, we might not be sitting right in front of you, but we get you and you can talk to us and it's a start.
Have you thought about joining a team or trying a new sport? Sports are generally gender based and the exercise is fantastic for your mood.
Or, try something a bit different like a frisbee team? Maybe your girlfriend wants to join too?

Can I also suggest you look into Mindscreen? They are connected to Beyond Blue and you can do free counselling via phone or online.