topic I feel so lost and deeply sad that nothing can cheer me up again! in Depression

I feel so lost and deeply sad that nothing can cheer me up again!

Spinifex — Sat, 12 Sep 2015 12:57:25 GMT

Hi all,

Been trying so hard to keep my inner strength intact and then I realise i have been putting a mask on my emotions that i feel like i am coming apart at the seams. I am fighting the hardest battle in my life. Myself. Coming right back to this dont fit in to this world again feeling. My real battle is that i know i have most of the answers to my own problems but get so lost then i get oozing waves of deppressed emotions so strong that causes panic attacks and feelings of uselessness. Everthing is such an effort and i am feel like i am winging even when i am seeking help and support. I am unemployed Horticulturist and reached a point in my life being 50 years old that time is flying by and yet i cringe every day i waste away with sabotaging thought processes and realising i am not very employable due to unreliability due to not coping eventhough i have tried cbt and councellors. How do you guys hold down a job when you're moods fluctuate that it impacts your performance reguraly? Does anybody actually understand me here? I read the newspaper today and upon reading the latest cases of terrible domestic violence i cried like a baby. Whats my problem i said to myself but i am still deppressed to the core. Hope to chat to somebody who understands me.Mick

I feel so lost and deeply sad that nothing can cheer me up again!

Gracexo — Sat, 12 Sep 2015 14:37:01 GMT

I'm feeling the same way!!!!

I feel so lost and deeply sad that nothing can cheer me up again!

Tony64 — Sat, 12 Sep 2015 14:37:46 GMT

I hear you Mick. I've felt like that myself, more often than not in my life. I just turned 51 a couple of weeks ago and I've suffered from depression almost my entire life.. I wish I had a string of magic words well put together that would take away your unwanted feelings but I don't I have them. All I can tell you is that you're not alone brother. What you've done here is a good thing, talking about things with people you feel safe talking to is a good start. Getting things off your chest feels good so keep it up mate.

I feel so lost and deeply sad that nothing can cheer me up again!

Sawyer — Sat, 12 Sep 2015 16:14:30 GMT

Hi Mick,

Let's slow things down and tackle one thing at a time. You sound overwhelmed and that's natural considering all the things you have going round inside your head right now, I have experienced it to, as have many others, so we know how debilitating and exhausting it can be.

Firstly, if you are able, try to find somewhere quiet to sit down and relax, or a quiet activity that you may feel will be therapeutic for you. For you that may be something outdoorsy, however it may also be quite the opposite given that your work is involved with what you're going through. For me I like to play piano or something else tactile like juggling or shooting hoops. If nothing comes to mind, just try to sit, breathe deeply, slowly. Focus on your breathing and nothing else. You can also try listing in your head what you can see, what you can touch, what you can hear and what you can smell. These techniques are known as grounding and can help when we are experiencing panic or anxiety. I always found imagining an object in great detail in my mind, building it from the ground up in every intricacy, to be similarly helpful.

Now, you've spoken a lot about how you are feeling, but what do you think is causing how you are feeling, primarily. What would you list as the 1 biggest stressor on your condition right now. And what would you say is your number 1 goal right now. Do you feel it is to do with your feelings about ageing and employment prospects? or are they more offshoots of a different problem.

Life can be so incredibly complex and hectic sometimes, our problems, thoughts and emotions can get so tangled and entwined together that it can seem impossible to see where the whole mess starts. But if we trace it back, we can often find that there is one major stressor that is being reflected across many aspects of our life. And as you say, you have the answers to these questions, but there is absolutely no shame, no nuisance, no problem, in asking for help when we need it, and you have done a good thing by speaking up.

Here to talk,

Sawyer

I feel so lost and deeply sad that nothing can cheer me up again!

Guest_9466 — Sat, 12 Sep 2015 19:37:09 GMT

Mick,

Just want to let you know that I can empathised with how you are feeling right now because I have been there, several times. However, it does get better, with treatment.

It may return again, the feeling of despair but the it doesn't linger as long. Just hang in there.

I feel so lost and deeply sad that nothing can cheer me up again!

Helanlight — Sat, 12 Sep 2015 19:53:21 GMT

Hi,

I can relate to how you feel. I'm 50 also and certainly feeling the effects of my age. All my life I've struggled with feelings of not fitting in, getting a job, being my own worst enemy and wasting time.

I recently read a book: 'Essays in Love' by Alain de Botton in which he says, "there is a great difference between identifying a problem and solving it, between wisdom and the wise life". I think that he's spot on there. A person can know what to do but be incapable of doing it!

I'm in the job I've had for a few years now and it can be difficult getting to work with fluctuating moods. Strategies I use include telling myself:

I'm helping others by going to work
If I take the day off it would affect my clients
No-one can do the job as well as I can (in fact most times no-one can do the job at all)
If I stay home I'm going to feel useless and miserable
If I stay home I'm going to miss the company of my co-workers

Doesn't work all the time but most times. By the way, have you considered doing volunteer work? I reckon it's a great way to re-connect.

Cheers, Hxx

I feel so lost and deeply sad that nothing can cheer me up again!

geoff — Sat, 12 Sep 2015 20:42:49 GMT

dear Spinifex, thanks for posting your comment although I see that you been on here before, which is also great.

The reason you feel ' not very employable due to unreliability due to not coping' is obviously because of how you feel, and I also wonder whether any treatment has been done by people that you have related to or you felt comfortable with, so can I suggest that you click onto 'Get Support' to find a counsellor that you could be happy with, and then start afresh with them.

When we are in a situation like you are in, we believe that we could have all the answers to our problems, but the trouble is that we can't put our finger on exactly what it is, although we may believe that we know, how untrue this can be, because firstly we can't pin point what it is as all the other problems jump on board, so our mind gets so confused, so we can't solve a single problem let alone half a dozen or so, and this only makes us cross, annoyed and frustrated.

Being 50 is still classified as being able to work, so please don't let that hold you back, but before you can recognise this you need to be able to overcome your other problems, so please have a look under 'get support', or you could ring the BB line. Geoff.

I feel so lost and deeply sad that nothing can cheer me up again!

Spinifex — Sun, 13 Sep 2015 10:27:57 GMT

Thank you Tony, nice to hear from you and great to hear that there are people who understand buddy.I will certainly open up and take on board the advice from all you guys I will begin by trying to answer some of the questions from fellow posters below. Thanks again. Talk soon Mick

to hear from you

I feel so lost and deeply sad that nothing can cheer me up again!

Spinifex — Sun, 13 Sep 2015 10:56:09 GMT

HiSaywer,

Thanks for responding mate, I will try and give you a better picture of what has been my most overwhelming stressor. I do have a natural ability to connect with nature and being a horticulturist I have and still try to breathe and connect on my good days to the natural environment, it is with great sadness that even this infinite connection i have with plants and trees that when i feel like i do now as panicked and missplaced i lose interest and feel defeated in my attempts to stay grounded and focussed.

Now as I begin to focus on the main stressor it would be as i said failure. While my third marriage is now being dissolved my wife and I are soul mates so no extreme dramas there but living together while i am feeling like this is what i mean comming apart at the seams. My feelings of low self esteem and feeling lost are so strong that I have to struggle to get out of bed to see the sunshine during the day but return empty in spirit in the afternoon. I thankyou for your concern and look forward to chatting more. I will see help posts. Regards Mick

I feel so lost and deeply sad that nothing can cheer me up again!

Spinifex — Sun, 13 Sep 2015 11:02:39 GMT

Thankyou Morning glory, Its great to hear that people like yourself reach out and understand me. I will hang in there for sure. Many thanks. MICK

I feel so lost and deeply sad that nothing can cheer me up again!

EFL — Sun, 13 Sep 2015 11:11:10 GMT

Gday Mick,

Lots of great posts and ideas here to help.

Having a feeling or worthlessness and not knowing what to do to break the cycle of failure is a terrible feeling and their is no quick and easy solution. Every day I feel this same pain as I keep trying to succeed in many aspects of my life but I never seem to ever reach any of my goals and I just keep drowning in my addictions.

The things I do to keep on track and keep myself moving forward, is to succeed in the things that I have control over and that I can be proud of. I want to be healthy and fit and feel good in my body so I can lead an active life. Being fit and healthy brings new opportunities into your life and makes you feel energised to be able to achieve the things you wouldn't be able to do if you were overweight and non active. Helping others is such a rewarding benefit and it opens you up to a world of benefits. You don't have to go and save the world or donate all your time or effort. It may be just helping some cross the street or sharing a joke with someone on the street. Yes it sounds so simple and easy but it does give you a state of euphoria and gives you a sense of worth to someone and yourself.

The other thing that helps me, is to clean up all the clutter in my life that is frustrating me and causing me to feel anxious and upset. It may just be cleaning up your house or organising all you bills. I know when I am drowning in debt and bills that I like to hide all my mail and pretend it doesn't exist. All this does is make my depression and anxiety worse, as I will have to face a bigger disaster at some stage.

Help others with their problems. Sharing with others is a beautiful thing as through sharing pain, we some times can find the answer to our problems or even better feel the pleasure of helping someone else move forward in theirs. Don't focus all your time on others but find answers to solve your own problems through helping others.

I know all these words might not get you a job tomorrow but I do hope it starts to give you some clarity on how to make a step forward towards a great job. I will send a wish out to the world for you that a job will come your way and I hope that you feel happiness and love every day onwards.

Zac

I feel so lost and deeply sad that nothing can cheer me up again!

Spinifex — Sun, 13 Sep 2015 11:31:18 GMT

Hi Helenlight,

Thankyou i really appreciate your wisdom and quote regarding knowing but not solving. Once i get myself out of being in survival mode i think i might have a better chance in holding a job. Right now though if i send out 10 resumes i can get 5 interviews and secure 3 positions but sabotage it all and waste everybodys time . Crazy hey! Thanks again Mick

I feel so lost and deeply sad that nothing can cheer me up again!

Spinifex — Sun, 13 Sep 2015 11:51:25 GMT

Hi Geoff, t b anks for your reply, yes i am pretty ungrounded and have soughtmuch help. I am helping my wife who we are seperated to get organised and support her to her new accomadation in time. I myself on the otherhand have become a sad sack indeed. I am seeing a councellors tomorrow morning with my new care plan. Will try and elaborate further during the week. My first posts as you noted in your reply were mixed up and very difficult to open up. I now see how this forum and webpage works and appreciate all advice accordingly. Nice photo Geoff with your dog. Great Avatar. Thanks Mick

I feel so lost and deeply sad that nothing can cheer me up again!

Spinifex — Sun, 13 Sep 2015 11:54:09 GMT

Hi Grace, well i understand how you feel. Its crazy hey, check out some of the great inspirational reply posts. Hope they help you too. Cheers, take care, Mick