topic Bipolar, borderline personality and PTSD in Depression

Bipolar, borderline personality and PTSD

Billy66 — Tue, 30 Jun 2015 04:27:20 GMT

Hi all

I am new to the forums and have been reading them for a while but have been to too nervous to respond. I have 3 young adult children and a grandson who I adore. I work as a nurse in what can be a very stressfull environment. I haven't been at work for the last 2 months as I have been in hospital with a depressive phase of my bipolar. I got out of hospital yesterday and have today found out from my case manager that I have been diagnosed with borderline personality as well.

I'm it hard to work out how I can be diagnosed with this while I am depressed. I have a great GP who is so supportive and a case manager in the community. I have been assigned to a new psychiatrist who I'm not keen on but am willing to give him a try.

Even with this support I feel like I am struggling all the time. I have no friends and have disowned my family. Does anyone have any suggestions

hope you all have a happy day

Billy66

Bipolar, borderline personality and PTSD

Neil_1 — Tue, 30 Jun 2015 23:14:05 GMT

Hi there Billy

Firstly, for where I am, it’s so cold and foggy, that I’d like to extend to you a very warm welcome to Beyond Blue and to also thank you so much on being able to come here and provide your post. As you say, you were nervous to initially post (as so many new posters do find), but I hope that after a little while, you’ll feel far more comfortable in being able to be here and respond and post again. This is such a supportive and caring place and everyone is shown the same level of care, respect and support.

Do you get to see your own children very often, and stemming from that, is your grandson fairly close by also? Spending time with family can be a very positive and helpful thing, but I do wonder about your comment of “… and have disowned my family.” Are you referring to your children here or other members of your family?

Now you say you have no friends – ok, so do you have acquaintances, like the people who you work with, like you kind of get along with at work?

Also there’s no mention of a husband – I hope I’m not being too nosey here, but just wishing to find out what other sources of support you have.

It’s also very encouraging to read that you’ve got a great GP – that is a huge bonus, and when you say case manager – are they like a counsellor for you? Was it your GP who referred you to this psychiatrist and do you know a bit about them, hence your aversion to seeing them?

I’m hearing you loud and clear also, where you say that even with this support you feel like everything is still a struggle – and indeed it can be, so you’re not on your own with this. That’s why this illness is so difficult to deal with – we put in so much work and effort and yet, we can still find things so difficult. You’ve not spoken about any down-time or ‘me-time’ – are you able to get out and do things that you like or LOVE to do? Any physical kind of activity – anything of this variety can be a huge boost to the system as well.

Sorry, I think I’ve asked too many questions, but I do hope you can respond back; it’d be great to hear from you again.

Neil

Bipolar, borderline personality and PTSD

Billy66 — Wed, 01 Jul 2015 05:21:31 GMT

Hi Neil

thanks for your post. it made me happy. I've been divorced for a long time and dont have contact with my parents or siblings. they weren't supportive when i told them about things from my childhood.

i have 2 dogs - a jack russell and a shitzu and enjoy talking them to the beach which is close by but my anxiety has stopped me doing this for about 6 months. My younger 2 kids still live at home with me although they lead busy lives and aren't home much. I am happy about this cause they are happy. my oldest daughter lives close by with her partner and my grandson. I see them regularly. I try not to tell them too much of my struggle as I dont want them to worry. I get along with my work 'mates' however dont socialise with them. Having said that some of them visited me in hospital.

My anxiety prevents me from doing so much. I wrote a list a few days a ago of things that I want to get back to doing before I got sick this time. things like fishing and camping.

my case manager has been trying to be my counciller. she and my phsychiatrist are through our local community health service.

anyway enough about my struggle. I will take on board your advice and look forward to hearing more from you

thsnks again

Billy66

Bipolar, borderline personality and PTSD

Neil_1 — Wed, 01 Jul 2015 23:32:29 GMT

Hi Billy

Great to hear back from you.

I’m sorry to hear that things have turned not so good with your parents and siblings – that’s so sad when you hear of things like this. Internal family hassles can be very traumatic and even nasty. I can understand you not wishing to maintain contact – as a child, that’s when you NEED to have family who are there for you and later, to be not supportive about whatever it was; that’s not good to hear at all. Sorry for actually talking about it, but I did at least want to acknowledge it with you.

Oh boy, you have two little dogs AND you live near a beach. We’re about 2 hours away from the coast and my daughter always wants me to get the dogs into the car and take them to the beach, and as awesome as that would be, our Jack Russell/Kelpie cross is wonderful, but he’s way too full of beans when he gets in the car. We can only go short distances with him, so to take him to the coast would be a journey of epic proportions.

I do hope that you might be able to feel in a better place soon; just better enough so you can get your two puppies down to the beach – to choose a lovely sunny and calm day with no wind, so it’ll be more enjoyable for you.

I’d imagine that your children would have been very concerned though for when you were in hospital – and stemming from that, they’d be hopefully a bit more worried and supportive of you around the house?

That is great though to read how your children seem to be busy and happy in their lives – as a parent, it’s something that we are very concerned about as they grow up and worry that they’ll ‘be ok’ as they enter early adult-hood, etc. I’m only just getting to that stage; have a 17yo son and a 14yo daughter, but at this stage, they both are very well grounded and, I have to say this, wonderful kids.

You’ve actually beaten me to the punch – by saying that you’ve already produced a list of things that you’d like to get back and do – fishing and camping to name just two, and that is absolutely awesome. That’s a huge positive sign, that you’ve been able to do this – just to sit down and write it out. And hope there’s even littler goals as well that you can set for yourself – whatever they might be. Little goals are great cause they’re little so you can achieve them and then it does make you feel better; something I’ve picked up along my journey.

I would love to hear back from you.

Neil

Bipolar, borderline personality and PTSD

Scarlet72 — Thu, 02 Jul 2015 04:29:48 GMT

Hi Billy66,

you've been through a lot recently but writing on this forum is a very positive move for you. I too have a dog and on my down days I take him to the beach close by home, it lifts my spirit to see him run around , free and innocent, pets are so good for our recovery, the unconditional love, maybe your children could go to the beach with you and the dogs, just for a short time to begin with.

Good luck Billy66

scarlet72

Bipolar, borderline personality and PTSD

Billy66 — Fri, 03 Jul 2015 02:25:48 GMT

Hi Neil and scarlett

Thanks for your posts

it would be fun to take your dog in the car to the beach- I had a good laugh when I read that - taking my 2 the 1 km to the beach is fraught with peril too with them both jumping front seat to back and hanging out the window. It probably does't help when I stir them up by telling them constantly 'going to the beach' which they understand.

Yesterday was a good day as I did take my puppies to the beach - I was able to talk myself out of the usual panic attack and spent 30 minutes in the beautiful sun and sand.

I've had many stays in the mental health unit at our hospital and generally they have been awful experiences but the nurses and OT's were mostly great this time. Have you been in hospital with your mental health issues and if so what we're your experiences like? I did some stupid things when on gate leave from hospital which kept me there for longer which is why I don't like the physchiatrist as he made me feel like an idiot.

How long have you had had depression? Do either of you have other mental health issues like anxiety and how do you deal with them it.

I'm allowed to go back to work part time next week so that's good but scary too. Do you work and how do you manage when you are unwell?

Its a beautiful sunny day again here in Nth Qld so I'm going to attempt another trip to the beach

I hope you have a lovely day and thanks again for your support

Billy66

Bipolar, borderline personality and PTSD

Neil_1 — Fri, 03 Jul 2015 03:25:59 GMT

Hi there Billy

Great to hear from you and also, Scarlett, great to read your response. The lives of loved dogs hey? No wonder they always are looking forward to seeing us. They do really raise the spirits; it’s a beautiful thing. As you can see from my pic, that’s little Tess – my Mum’s much loved dog, and the best decision I ever made, after Mum passed away – to take Tess with us and look after her. She’s an absolute dream – she’s now 16yo, but is now so much more mobile than she was when we got her, cause Mum was so ill with the cancer, that she just wasn’t able to look after her as well as she used too.

I cuddle and pat Tess every day – it’s so hard not too.

Billy, that was awesome to read about you being able to get the dogs to the beach – 30 mins, fantastic – set little goals, meet them and feel damn proud of yourself afterwards AND during.

I’ve just jogged past 50 and I think I’ve had depression for pretty much all of my adult life. I also suffer anxiety and ptsd – so am on 3 different kinds of meds to help me get through each day and for the most part they all work. I have a psychiatrist that I see, a psychologist, my gp, I exercise every day, drink loads of water each day, have my own set routines that I have in place pretty much each day, that doesn’t cause me anxiety or stress. I guess I’ve lived with it for so long now, I know my reactors and it’s more of a matter of having routines in place where you are able to keep yourself protected. What I mean by this, is I go to the gym 6 days a week and there I feel ‘safe’ as it’s a sanctuary there – I’m in there lifting weights and helping to ease tension at the same time.

My other sanctuary is home.

I do work and this is another good distraction – I’m part-time, still 30 hours per week, and this I can manage.

It’s good to hear that you’re able to get back to some part time work soon – as I said, it can be a good distraction, as long as it’s a good environment for you – good people, ok work, etc. As it can occupy the mind for a number of hours.

Try and do other searches, perhaps under my name, back a couple of years, and you might find more about my story, if you were bored and needed some thing to help you get off to sleep at night. 🙂

Sounds a lovely spot of Australia where you live. Hope you have a really super weekend.

Neil

Bipolar, borderline personality and PTSD

Billy66 — Fri, 03 Jul 2015 05:38:39 GMT

Hi Neil

thanks for your reply. Your dog looks very cute and is the same colour as our Shitzu 'Kujo'. Do you have to clip yor dog or is she short haired? We have to get ours clipped at the vets as she has to be sedated as she turns nasty and for a little dog her teeth do a lot of damage.

I'm sorry about your mum. As a nurse I look after a lot of people with cancer and their families. It is such a terrible thing. I work in the community with older people which can be very rewarding and sometimes quite sad. It's great that you can work part time. I to use my job as a distraction but fall into the trap of over working and burning out regularly. I have a good boss who picks up on my mood and gives me a kick up the bum and tells to slow down. Work should be OK to go back to now as the girl who was bullying me has resigned while I was sick. So it should be OK.

Fitting in gym 6 days a week and working must make you feel good. I was going to the gym most nights with my daughter who was helping me with my anxiety even though she didn't know it until it became too much. It also became to expensive as I was paying for my daughter too. She is now doing body building and will be in her first competition soon. It makes her happy which is good as she has had depression in the past as well.

Hope you are having a great day. I am going to attempt to go to the beach now. It's a beautiful sunny day but windy and about 22 degrees which is cold for us.

take care

Billy66

Bipolar, borderline personality and PTSD

Scarlet72 — Fri, 03 Jul 2015 07:58:55 GMT

Hi Neil and Billy,

thank you both for your very helpful advise and support. It's good to hear how our beloved pooches are getting us out and about. My dog also hangs out of the window and howls as we approach the beach, he too understands 'the beach' took my small terrier to the beach this afternoon, it was cold and windy but refreshing to be out. I decided to be brave and take my dog with me into the pet store and he tried to attack a bunny rabbit in a cage on the floor, I guess that's the terrier 'hunter' instinct!! People moved out of my way to the cash till!

I haven't had any admissions to hospital, feel I am in the early stages of my diagnosis and treatment, low dose medication and seeing a psychologist. I work full time and this is my greatest struggle as my employer does not know about my depression, I have had 5 different managers in the past 12 months so this has made it difficult to discuss in confidence and feel supported. I know I need to discuss my situation with work soon as understanding and support can be vital to recovery.

I feel reassured and comforted by these forums, what a great source of support for us all.

thanks again

scarlet

Bipolar, borderline personality and PTSD

Billy66 — Sun, 05 Jul 2015 05:55:19 GMT

Hi Scarlett and Neil

hope you are both having a good day. Scarlet, like you I found it hard to talk to my team leader as they kept resigning all the time. I am lucky to have a good support from our manager who I was able to be honest with and it has made it better at work. It is very hard to know who you can trust but as I found particularly as a health professional I needed to be honest otherwise I was making the stigma around mental illness worse. I am in no way saying this is possible for everybody. When I go back to work this week I am going to tell my team where I have been for 2 months and why. I don't know what the reaction will be but I'm hoping it will be OK. I'm doing this to make people aware of the illness and that people who have any mental illness can lead normal lives.

Have you shared your feelings with your family? They can be supportive as well. I have shared some of my struggles with my kids but don't like to tell them too much about my demons as they worry. All my kids have had depression at some point so I keep a close eye on them to make sure that they don't keep things bottled up. I think it has brought my little family closer.

do you both get along with your psycologist? I had one that was good a couple of years ago but she left town so now I don't have one. I think it must be expensive as we'll. Medication is expensive as well but I guess it's important.

The footy has just started. Do either of you enjoy the footy. It's one of the few things I love no matter what my mood is usually.

enjoy what's left of the weekend and have a good monday!

Billy66

Bipolar, borderline personality and PTSD

Neil_1 — Mon, 06 Jul 2015 01:59:53 GMT

Hi there Billy & Scarlett

This is awesome – we’ve got a bit of a 3-way banter happening here and boy oh boy, with what you two have written, I hope this response doesn’t get too carried away, but there’s heaps to respond with and chat about.

Ah yes, the little Terrier – it’s just gotta be there instinct in hunting or getting damn excited about other animals – rabbits especially. We were able to tell our Jack Russell/Kelpie about our bunnies (we have two of them, flop eared variety) and told him that we simply do not eat members of our family. And Tess, though as deaf as a post, seems to have picked up the message quite good as well.

Last summer, when we had her for the first time, we got her professionally clipped by one of those mobile dog services and she just stood there and got it all done. I guess cause she’s 16yo, she’s not fussed with people anymore and her teeth aren’t sharp anyway – but she does have the most amazing manner – just calm and relaxed, except at tucker time – and boy, she loves hovering in the kitchen.

Billy, your daughter is training to become a bodybuilder – that’s awesome. I compete as well and am aiming to compete again this September/October. I’m 11 weeks out from my first comp for this season - things seem to be on track – it gets tougher as you get along, as the diet ramps up more, what you can and definitely what you can’t eat.

I’m so pleased to hear that the bully has left your workplace; that would be a huge load off.

My work also is very good with my mental illness – I’m very lucky that way, cause I’ve heard stories that it’s not always the case. And yes, having different managers in a short space of time, doesn’t lend itself for continued longevity so you can develop a certain repour. Scarlett, I hope things get a bit more settled for you soon.

I’ve finally found a good psych, which is massive, to have someone who you can unload too, but also to receive helping tips, etc.

LOVE my footy – both NRL and AFL – and run a footy tipping comp also.

Cheers

Neil

Bipolar, borderline personality and PTSD

Scarlet72 — Mon, 06 Jul 2015 05:01:19 GMT

Hi Neil and Billy, good to hear from you both,

Good luck Billy with your first day back at work, hope it all goes well. I'm very proud of you talking to your team about the past few months. I used to be based in a small close team but since being ill my employer moved me around 2 offices in an attempt to isolate me in the hope I would resign!

there seems to be common themes in our lives! I'm an adopted Cats fan through my partners family, enjoyed a few live matches but always keen to watch on TV. Thankfully my dog didn't create too much havoc in the pet store, I'll leave it a while before I go back!

sport and exercise seem to play an important part in our lives. I'm going for a trial crossfit session on Saturday, hoping to build strength to assist my running and also a new outlet. Talking to family and friends really helps as well but I'm always aware that I don't want to burden them with my troubles.

I was hoping to return to work today but just couldn't push myself to go, not sure it was Monday morning blues! I have a good psychologist and due to see my Doctor tomorrow morning so hoping to talk through some issues to head back to work on Wednesday. I really feel like I want to be back at work but just can't face the pressures that come with the role. I do need to try and speak with a manager who I can trust but that takes time.

Hope you are both having a good day

scarlet

Bipolar, borderline personality and PTSD

Billy66 — Tue, 07 Jul 2015 02:37:24 GMT

Hi Scarlett and Neil

work went OK yesterday. I have now decided not to talk to my team as listening to them talking yesterday bothered me. We were having a discussion about things our neighbours had done to annoy us and they were calling these people psychos and saying they must have mental health issues. I was going to say something then but I felt that I wasn't ready to just yet. Scarlett is there a way that encourages you to go to work? I found years ago that car pooling got me going as I had to go if I was getting picked up! It's not good that your boss was trying to make you quit. Do you have someone in human resources that might be able to help or are you in a small organisation? I work in a large hospital so there is that help there if you are brave enough to access them.

My daughter is competing in her first body building comp in sept and yes the diet you guys are on is strict. My daughter is enjoying the whole preparation and how her body is looking. All my kids are skinning so to see her with a nicely sculptured body is great. I really should do some exercise but I'm not motivated at the moment. If my medication makes me put on any more weight I will have to do something.

I love my AFL. I'm a huge Hawks supporter. Been to one live game. It's hard to get to a live game due to my location. I following the NRL as we'll but find it frustrating as it's so much slower than AFL. I too ran a tipping comp at work until this year. I was to unwell this year to get it started.

I saw my case manager yesterday and discussed how people can have bipolar and borderline personality disorder. I still don't really get it. It is good to be able to unload stuff with someone and to be able to trust them with all that information.

Have a great day

Billy66

Bipolar, borderline personality and PTSD

Neil_1 — Tue, 07 Jul 2015 03:14:09 GMT

Hi scarlet & billy

I hope that you’re able to get back to work soon and that you can make that important conversation with your manager. Also having a good psychologist is great and am pleased that you’ve got that as well. And having a good doc to be able to talk things over is another helpful thing to have.

Sport and exercise are great, but oh so important and even more so for us who have mental illness issues – and doing this crossfit business is fantastic and wowee, what a workout it is. I occasionally have a lash at a couple of their things, but mostly I’m happy with just lifting my weights and doing other sorts of cardio. However, one thing that I must say I’m now addicted to are the walking lunges, whilst holding a weighted bar over your head with straight arms. This is an amazing workout, cardio session and built-in abs/core workout all rolled into one. If you do enough of them, your lower abs the following day are sore as – the good sore, as doing this exercise really switches on that core muscle group to keep everything in place and steady.

That was funny, when you said ‘I’m an adopted cats fan …” and I immediately thought, but hey, I thought we all owned dogs and were dog lovers. J

Kind regards

Neil

Ps: the brown and gold are my team and can’t tell you how much I love them. But I do know with footy that we LOVE our team and for the most part, really despise the other teams – but I must say, the camaraderie that happened over the weekend after every game was amazing – a beautiful thing and way to honour the Adelaide Crows coach, Phil Walsh. No songs sang, just the teams getting together, forming circles in the middles of the ground, arms around each other and the crowd watching on in silence. It also permeated throughout so many suburban games of AFL as well throughout the country. Well done to all, I say.

Bipolar, borderline personality and PTSD

Scarlet72 — Tue, 07 Jul 2015 11:37:03 GMT

Hello Billy and Neil,

i can't believe it, I am out numbered by hawks fans! I was a fan of buddy during his time with the team. It's one thing I love about Australia is the level of enthusiasm everyone gives to sport especially when a sporting hero departs early, Phil Hughes, Jim Stynes to name a few.

Billy, i am pleased you went to work today, I understand your apprehensions about telling colleagues your story, it takes courage and a huge amount of trust. I must say though, that maybe your colleagues don't even realise the discriminatory comments they had made. I remember years ago working within a health team setting and a colleague was calling drug users 'smack heads' when i discreetly told him how offended I was about his comments, he was mortified that he had offended me and as a professional he always treated people with the upmost respect but he felt it was ok to talk with colleagues like this in the staff kitchen but never out in the field. I'm sure if your colleagues were aware of the offence they had caused to you, they would be equally mortified. Such conversations are confronting though and you need to feel safe and strong. How many days are you working?

My fitness levels aren't quite at your level, Neil but I will give the walking lunge with bar a go in the next few days, a new task for me to complete! I'm impressed about your competitions, it takes commitment and self belief to do this, I don't have the self discipline to stick with such a strict diet, I'm a chocoholic! I have discovered cocoa superfood, so feel less guilty indulging in this!

Medication plays havoc with weight, I'm gaining week by week so maybe we all need to take our beloved dogs for extra walks around the block and trips to the beach!

I saw my Doctor today, I wasn't 100% honest with him about how low I had felt this past week. I really annoy myself when I do this, he was happy to sign me off work until the end of the week but I felt ready to return to work tomorrow for a few days to ease back into it. I will approach my manager next week when they return from leave to explore what support I can get to assist me through the difficult phases with my depression and anxiety. I work in a large organisation. I will see how things progress with my manager next week and talk to HR after then. Fingers crossed for tomorrow

hope you are both well

scarlet

Bipolar, borderline personality and PTSD

Billy66 — Thu, 09 Jul 2015 01:23:15 GMT

Hi Neil and Scarlett

Hope you are both feeling good today. I've been to work mon and wed and go again fri for half days. it hasnt been to bad. next week i will do 4 half days.

while I 'm writing this I'm watching one of my dogs sleeping and she is dreaming - she is waging her tail and making a funny noise. so cute. we also have a cat, a cockateil and a beatded dragon.

Scarlett I hope you feel well enough to go back to work next week. getting there is the hardest thing to do. Once you're there its usually not to bad.

Neil, who is your favourite hawks player. Im a big Jaryd Roughead fan and Gibson too. I've been a member for many years now. It was amazing watching the 78000 people at the hawks / pies game absolutly silent last fri night. Sport has a great way of bring people together and drive them apart. i hate collingwood with a passion but most people do.

So I'm going to try and be enthusiastic now and tackle the housework.

hope you both have a good day

Billy66

Bipolar, borderline personality and PTSD

Neil_1 — Thu, 09 Jul 2015 23:00:57 GMT

Hi there Billy (& Scarlet)

Boy oh boy, we’re due for some rough weather coming up in the next few days. Snow is even forecast for Canberra.

Mind you, it can’t be as bad as last Sunday was – it only topped out at 4 degrees !! Fog all day and it was horrible.

Love it when the puppies have dreams – good dreams though; if ours if having one of those bad ones, where they get all quivery and shakey, we tend to give him a little pat to calm him down.

And with last night’s game in Adelaide, Port V Collingwood, how amazing was it after the game, where the doused the lights of the stadium, they played that “Lantern” song that rang out over the stadium and had a whole stack of photos of Phil Walsh on the big screen. The people in these places that are doing this are really doing some quality stuff. And the crowd were either given lanterns, or it might just have been their mobile phones all lit up – from up high, through the teev, it looked amazing, AND quiet.

That’s a very hard question: Cyril has gotta be right up there, so too is Hodgey, but yes, Roughy is a ripper (and I hope he’s now ok after that cancer scare as well).

Kind regards

Neil

Bipolar, borderline personality and PTSD

Billy66 — Fri, 10 Jul 2015 23:35:30 GMT

Hi Neil and Scarlett

Hope you are both well. Neil I don't know how you deal with cold weather like that! I'm a bit of a sook. If the temperature goes below 20 degrees I'm all rugged up. As for snow I've only seen it once and it was all dirty and looked like someone had peed on it. It was on the side of the road in Tassie. I heard that when it is snowing it actually gets a little warmer but still cold. It must look nice when it is falling.

Roughy is supposed to be playing tomorrow even though he has stitches in his lip. Cyril is awesome too. I think Hill is going to be a brilliant player as well. He has that speed and agility needed through the centre and he can kick. I'm going to watch my son play today. He is very tall 6 foot 3 and is really skinny so he plays in the back pocket. I think he is a good player but he thinks he is bad. His dad is one of his coaches which makes it harder for him. His dad is always telling him he could do better.

Do you think you will go to work this week Scarlett. I hope you gat there cause it usually makes you feel better if at least you got there. I.m going 4 half days this week. It is not very busy at the moment at my job which is a problem as I need to be busy to distract myself. I hope you get there.

My daughter is allowed to have a 3 hour break from her strict diet today and she has bought chocolate and ice cream in preparation. She makes me laugh doing that. Her body is looking ready good. I think it must be very different between men and women what is needed muscle wise for competition. Neil, do you eat 6 or 7 meals a day? My daughter measures everything while she cooks enough food to last a week. You have to be very motivated.

Have a great day and stay warm!!

Billy

Bipolar, borderline personality and PTSD

Scarlet72 — Sun, 12 Jul 2015 10:02:59 GMT

Hi Billy and. Neil, good to hear from you. It's been a very cold weekend down here in Melbourne and the same forecasted for next week. It's rained all day, took the dog out for a walk, he made it onto the door step, saw the rain and turned around and walked back into the nice warm house and stayed on his bed all day! It's a dogs life for sure.

the cats lost last night so my partner is not happy, their second or third loss in a row, not good, sad faces today!

i made it to work last Thursday, 2 days, my manager was too busy to talk with me so I will try again next week to progress conversations. I'm pleased you are back at work Billy, it does take your mind off things but it's finding a balance between being busy and not being too busy that it gets you stressed and exhausted. I feel better going back to work tomorrow having been 2 days last week, less overwhelming. I am hoping to reduce my hours and days to 4 in July, August and September and see if this helps with my depression and anxiety.

pleased we are all keeping busy and getting out and about over the weekend. I joined a local cross fit group yesterday, went for an induction and signed up for an 8 week programme, hoping to increase my confidence. It was a tough session, very committed and dedicated people who are very disciplined with their routine, food and exercise but nice and friendly, made me feel welcome.

Hope you are both well and have a good week, stay warm and cool!

Scarlet

Bipolar, borderline personality and PTSD

Neil_1 — Mon, 13 Jul 2015 02:08:28 GMT

Hi there scarlet and billy

Great to hear from you both again.

The work situations are sounding good for you both. Two days is better than no days scarlet. And yes, fully agree with you with the balance thing of busy, quiet and then being too busy that it becomes over the top.

Scarlet, way to go on getting along to the cross fit group and your induction – and signing up for 8 weeks. Billy and I will be your ‘on-line’ motivators if you’d like. But it also sounds like a terrific group you’ve joined, considering how you’ve described them – that really helps big time, committed, dedicated, disciplined and things like that DO rub off, but as I mentioned, being nice and friendly and welcoming is a massive thing too. Sounds like they’ll be right in your corner also.

Can’t wait to hear of updates, etc.

Billy, yep, I cooked up 23 meals on Saturday arve – all of chicken, plus sweet potato, beans, broccoli and asparagus, plus my secret herbs, chicken salt and a dash here and there of garlic. Chicken is all weight, but I’m slack with the vegies. Then it’s all frozen except for two days worth at a time.

Yes, the it’s an absolute art and science when it comes to reducing down for a comp – this time I’m doing it solo, as in with my food prep and diet; whereas, I’ve been coached in the past, but it gets very costly doing it that way.

So yeah, I have 7 meals a day and I average about 4.5 – 5 litres of water each day. My aim is to be losing ‘at least’ 500g each week – I only lost 400g last week but in the last 2-3 weeks, is where you can really make big drops when the food gets played around with a bit more and the cardio is going full on. The metabolism should be going gangbusters at that stage also.

It’s honestly great to know that one can drink so much beer during ‘off-season’, but can get to ‘stage condition’ by September – but as you age, it gets harder and harder. I think I’d be one of only a very few people who do bodybuilding who attacks the beer like I do when not prepping.

Neil