topic I haven't felt this alone in a long time... in Depression

I haven't felt this alone in a long time...

Beyondhope — Thu, 02 Jul 2015 06:39:52 GMT

Its been a while since I've felt like even though I'm supposedly surrounded by so many people that I'm actually really alone.

I don't feel like anyone deserves to be burdened with my feelings or problems, and I honestly feel bad for having to imagine myself being a burden to anyone. When I think of who I can talk to I don't feel like I have the right to express how I feel because I feel it so often it feels unfair.

Ive had a lot of ups and downs with my family and friends, mostly because a lot of them love to talk down about each other so much it's almost like a sport. I've tried to just keep quiet and go about my own life because I am so over having to hear about so many things being said about me, or hearing I said something to someone that is so fabricated it makes me wanna scream.

It seems no matter how much I try and go about my own life people constantly just want to remind me that nothing can remain good. That you can't trust everyone, and that everyone is temporary.

I can't stand to wake up anymore, and the thought if going home to my "mother" scares the living daylights out of me because I never know what to expect that I've done wrong this time.

I don't feel like I have much purpose anymore, or that anyone actually wants to spend as much time with me as I do with them and it eats away at my heart and makes me so so sad.

I just want to feel like I have a real purpose and that there are people out there who actually do care and don't have son e hidden agenda or are just going to leave me behind.

Any words of positivity would be so incredibly appreciated right now. I don't know where else to turn to. 😞

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I haven't felt this alone in a long time...

Wah — Thu, 02 Jul 2015 08:14:53 GMT

Beyondhope

You sound very low and I want to offer you hope. Keep talking here on the forums.

No one is a burden here or has an agenda. We are here to support & encourage as best we can from our experiences and to be able to lay our feelings out there.

That can be the good part. No one judging what we say. You can express everything you want to , without worrying that others won't get it.

It can be tough to live with depression and find and keep a network of people who support you. I find I can tend to look at everything negatively and others can get tired of that.

Have you got a good doctor you can talk to? Some interests you share with others?

Please keep talking here so you feel at least some support.

wah

I haven't felt this alone in a long time...

Silverorchid77 — Thu, 02 Jul 2015 11:05:06 GMT

Hello,

You're not alone. Everyone here on the forums cares about each other and are here to help. We're going through/been through similar things that you're going through. You're not alone.

You sound like such a kind hearted person that always puts everybody elses feelings before their own. That is commendable, but you have to look after yourself as well. You're not a burden. Everyone has a purpose in life, you just have to find yours.

Have you tried talking to your family about how they are making you feel?

To an extent I understand how you feel- My family would always put me down no matter how hard I tried or what I did right. I got yelled at everyday, I was scared to come home, to wake up. But I held in there and just did the best I could everyday. I found talking to someone, even to total strangers in forums, helped. Just never give up trying, prove to all of them that you're more then what they think you are.

You're not doing anything wrong, some people just have unreal expectations and have problems with the directions that their own lives are going so they take that anger and frustration out on others.

Like I said before, everyone has a purpose in life. After I went through the worst of my depression I decided that my purpose would be to try and help others going through the same. I figured if I couldn't make my own life better, maybe I could help to brighten someone else's that little bit. Maybe you should try doing some charity work? It will give you an excuse to be out of the house and also give you a sense of purpose.

There are people out there that care. Not everybody is cruel and looking for someone to gossip about. There are some genuine people. I know it might seem that you are 'beyondhope' (Nice play on words by the way), but I believe that everybody has a chance to find hope again, even though it may take some time.

You can ALWAYS come here and talk to us guys in the forums. Even if you post everyday you are welcome to. I won't forget about you.

I wish you all the best,

Brooke. xx