Rain, rain go away

Guest_3712 — Mon, 20 Jan 2014 01:53:36 GMT

hi guys,

I have spent a lot of time on line today as I having a bad one. it is raining and I always find the rain makes me worse.

I have been reading lots of your posts and have responded to some when I think I have something to offer.

The truth is I need some help. I need to know is there anyone out there that shares my problem. I continue to self medicate despite being admitted to hospital several times for detox, and then finally getting off my opiates after an infusion in August.

I know the dangers, I know I am not fooling myself with my reasons, most of which I don't get anyway. I told my psych I wanted to get off and although he knows everything about me he still says my drug use isn't the main problem , my depression is. He says the dosage of my meds isn't too high and he would rather I stay on AD and I can ween off my anxiety meds if I want.

The thing is I don't know if I really want to . I say I do but I'm pretty quick to reach for a pill if I'm in pain, feeling down or as is today it is raining! What the ???

I can't help feeling that the meds give me some level of control. I feel less anxious and usually very calm and out of it. I know I will never get my life back on track until I can give up these drugs but I am really struggling. I keep as busy as I can doing various things, but I know I am again addicted and I am really scared I will have to go back into hospital.

My husband would be devastated if this happened. I am only slowly regaining his trust after the last admission.

Is there anyone going through this? Please let me know

Stressless

topic Rain, rain go away in Depression

Rain, rain go away