topic How can I do this. in Depression

How can I do this.

SMaria — Fri, 17 Jan 2014 05:42:40 GMT

Lately ,

l have been feeling like I'm lost and I cry at the smallest things. I am easily frustrated and this has caused me to lose one of my good friends. I don't even know how to talk to people anymore, I just feel lost and no one can help me sort this out. I don't feel like I belong anywhere and I feel unwanted most of the time and when I try talking to people I just don't feel like they want to listen and I think that ok the other end they are judging me for how I am feeling. All I want is for my friends to care about who I am and I don't want to appear to them as a sad person who in the me will have no friends

i don't know what to do i just need help

How can I do this.

SMaria — Fri, 17 Jan 2014 06:00:01 GMT

instead of "in the me it should be "in the end"

How can I do this.

geoff — Fri, 17 Jan 2014 19:13:19 GMT

dear Maria, I am so pleased that you found this site, where all of us have been or still are in the same situation, so in trepidation, it's lovely to have with us.

We know where you are standing in life, it's horrible, devastating and a hideous illness, that can struck any one of us without any warning, and then who do we have to support us absolutely no one , because they all run away from us, so this then compounds our depression.

I often check the next page because there are posts like yours that go missing, and that's only because the number of present comments just seem to push over to the next page, and by doing this you must feel as though you are unloved on the site, so your disappointment and possibly grief would overpower you.

This certainly isn't the case because we want to respond to everyone who posts their own ordeal, so I am pleased to have caught you.

You are absolutely welcome here and you have every entitlement to be heard, so here I am and would love, if I can say this, for you to be able to get back to us, because you can't struggle with this illness all alone, like I did because I didn't have a pc nor did I know about this forum.

There are many thoughts that are running through my mind in what has created this depression, but I will leave all those questions until you can get back to us and explain just a small amount of what has happened. L Geoff. x

How can I do this.

Neil_1 — Fri, 17 Jan 2014 21:27:52 GMT

Hi Maria

And like Geoff, I too welcome you to this wonderful site and it is great that you found it and then took the huge step to post on it. You will find people here who care, will listen (or in our case, read) 🙂 offer advice and encouragement but above all, we support each other and there is never any judgement shown here at all. People who come here have commented how great it is that they can unload any feelings or thoughts or situations that are facing them ... and to know that they will receive 100% support.

It sounds a very difficult situation for you and as Geoff mentioned it would be great for you to be able to get back to us with a little bit more detail about what is happening (only if you feel comfortable in doing so), because that way we'll know a bit more and will be better able to give our thoughts and hopeful guidance to you.

Maria you have mentioned friends. Do you have family that you live with?

Also you said that you feel sad a lot of the time and cry easily and frustrated. Have you felt this way for a long time? It sounds an awful way to be and also for you to be battling with this on your own. You've taken a very positive step by coming here and I hope that you can get back to us soon.

Kind regards

Neil

How can I do this.

SMaria — Sat, 18 Jan 2014 00:01:20 GMT

Thanks for the welcoming,

i have family that I stay with but they don't know what to do with me anymore. I have felt sad and easily frustrated to the point where I cry for no reason. I am losing my friends as they also don't know what to do with me..

one has completely ignored me just because they can which upsets me even more. And this has caused me to fall deeper into my depression. I don't know myself what has caused this depression but it's at the point where I don't know what to do and not been my friends will help me

How can I do this.

SMaria — Sat, 18 Jan 2014 00:08:53 GMT

Thankyou for the welcome,

lately I've just cried to sleep because someone won't talk to me. They are getting my messages but choose to ignore them. I am being punished for something I don't even know I did. And as I said, my friends don't know what to do with me, they walk like everything is okay and I'm not feeling the I am. At night I sleep alone and wonder, what it would feel like to not be alone. My friends just let me go on my own way and my family don't know what do do with me

How can I do this.

Neil_1 — Sat, 18 Jan 2014 04:27:23 GMT

Hi Maria

I can let you know one thing ... on here you won't be ignored. We'll be here with you for as long as you want us to be.

Can I also just say that this "friend" of yours who has decided to ignore you, in my opinion is someone who isn't a friend at all. Friends don't abandon you. Even if they don't understand what you're going through, friends should be there for support and a shoulder to lean on. We can't do that directly, but we can do it electronically (if that makes sense).

Maria, I'm not sure how old you are, but are you able to get yourself off to see a GP and soon, I think this is your next move. Describe to them how you're feeling and give a complete rundown of things. I hope that you're able to do that and also, please stay in touch with us.

Kind regards

Neil

How can I do this.

SMaria — Sat, 18 Jan 2014 05:04:18 GMT

Just now, one of my friends said that I have done nothing wrong but he feels like we need to take a break from each other. I've done nothing wrong and I've tried my best to be happy around him. I don't know what to do, he says doing that will be best for me so he has decided to move ok from me and find someone else

i am going to see a counsellor soon

also call me Savanna as Maria is my middle name

How can I do this.

SMaria — Sat, 18 Jan 2014 07:06:17 GMT

This friend I have, has decided that we need a break from each other. I'm not sure what I did but he has just stopped answering my messages and everything. I have tried my hardest to be happy around him but it's obviously not working. I am going to see a counsellor as soon as I can. And please, call me savanna, Maria is my middle name

How can I do this.

Neil_1 — Sun, 19 Jan 2014 00:35:23 GMT

Hi Savanna,

Thank you for correcting me, and it'll be Savanna totally from now on.

I am really pleased that you've arranged for a counsellor; will that be in the next week or so? Did you get this via your GP?

This must be very difficult for you at the moment as it appears that your friends are moving away from you. Is there ONE person who you think is still around and is able to chat with?

Savanna, do you work or study? If so, how do you get on with your work colleagues or other acquaintances?

But at this current time, I really am pleased to know you're seeking professional counselling and I hope so much that you are able to come away with some confident abilities to set you on a more positive path.

Please do stay with us though ... and would love for you to keep posting;

Kind regards

Neil

How can I do this.

SMaria — Sun, 19 Jan 2014 02:41:26 GMT

Yes I did get a counsellor via my GP, and as of this morning one of my friends came back to me and apologised for what they did and I had never been so relieve to have him back . I study, I am currently a year 12. I get along with them but I tend to just focus on my own work sometimes. But now and then we have the occasional conversation. And you're welcome, I didn't use Savanna before as it a long name to process

How can I do this.

Neil_1 — Sun, 19 Jan 2014 08:33:27 GMT

Hi Savanna

That's not a long name to process and it's also a very nice name as well.

Ok, this makes a little more sense regarding your friends, as they are of the same age as you and understanding depressive feelings/mental illnesses is difficult at any age. Hell, I'm 48 and I've still got no idea how to understand it and I've had it for most of my adult life and perhaps even beyond.

I am so pleased that one of your friends has come back as well as I am pleased that you've got a counselling session coming up. Do you have much longer to wait for that appointment?

Just as a thing you might like to try before the appointment is to write down your feelings or how you think you are ... what has been happening of late; jot a whole stack of things down ... so just in case you forget something during your appointment, you'll have a reminder write in front of you. Also, if you have any questions, please write those down as well, so you can have a really good first session.

Stay with us Savanna for as long as you like.

Kind regards

Neil

How can I do this.

SMaria — Sun, 19 Jan 2014 10:44:13 GMT

Thank you,

I don't have much longer to wait for my appointment, my GO got me in as soon as possible. I do write my feelings down, but in the form of poetry. Poetry helps me to express my feelings without involving anyone else. But maybe I could try writing things down, just dot points maybe that will help

How can I do this.

geoff — Sun, 19 Jan 2014 15:04:07 GMT

dear Savanna, my esteemed friend Neil has said most of what I was going to say, and I'm 59 yes to you that's old, and to me it's depressing, but not in the way depression works, as I'm over it after a very long time.

This boyfriend must a great friend, someone who obviously loves you, and wants to stick with you, so at least that's a valuable asset. Geoff. x

How can I do this.

SMaria — Sun, 19 Jan 2014 16:02:40 GMT

The funny thing is, he's not my boyfriend. He's just a friend and he does stick with me. Depression can come at any age, And what he is trying to do, because I rely on him a lot is to try and maintain distance, We are close, but he wants to see how long I can be without him. I don't know if it will help or being my depression further.

How can I do this.

geoff — Sun, 19 Jan 2014 19:18:57 GMT

dear Savanna, yes depression can happen at any age, even when we are so young, but at that stage they don't know what depression is, to them it's just feeling very sad, and this is where it's so unfortunate, because I'm sure that many of us on this site did have the beginning of this illness at a very young age, but then had no idea of what to do.

Please don't get me wrong when I say this, because my intention is to never want to upset anybody, however your friend is playing in a safety zone, and by this I mean is that he has not 100% aligned himself with you, so by 'seeing how long I can be without him' actually indicates to me that he has left the door open if he wants to escape.

A true friend would stand by you 100% all the way, no questions asked, and by him saying what he has said means that you are still alone really and then your depression will become deeper.

It's never easy to cope with depression by yourself without any professional help, and that's why I suggest you seek help from beginning with your GP. Geoff. x

How can I do this.

SMaria — Tue, 21 Jan 2014 05:55:21 GMT

Well at the moment, I just feel sad. I don't know what to do except to see someone about it. This friend has now left me completely. I don't know what is worse. Him leaving or the reason why. It has been almost two days and I don't know what to do with myself, this friend was always the one to help me through things I was feeling. But now that he is gone, I just write my feelings down and cry. Write my feelings down, pray and then cry myself to sleep.

How can I do this.

SMaria — Sun, 26 Jan 2014 15:17:54 GMT

But I suppose I'll just speak to my counsellor

How can I do this.

geoff — Sun, 26 Jan 2014 19:04:00 GMT

dear Savanna, the trouble is when we try and understand why he has left you, is it because he's had enough or is it a scenario that we tend to think about, and by having depression it's always the worse reason why, so then we tend to blame ourselves, which may not be the best situation, but that's what this illness does to us.

It is something that you should really discuss with your counsellor, and is this soon.

I am so sorry that you now have to face this situation, as it's never easy and never will be. L Geoff. x

How can I do this.

Neil_1 — Mon, 27 Jan 2014 08:53:03 GMT

Hi Savanna

It was good to see that you've posted again, although it was a pretty short one.

How are you feeling at the moment?

Sorry, but there could be a few more questions coming up as well; and please don't feel as though you need to answer them, it's just that I'm concerned for you.

You mentioned speaking with your counsellor. Is that appointment coming up soon?

Way back in an earlier post you mentioned something like that your family don't know what to do with me. Do they actually know how much you're struggling and have issues that you can't make sense out of and it's very distressing for you? Do they know that you are feeling a little abandoned by your friends as well? It's awfully tough for you to be dealing with this on two massive fronts: (a) because of your age and it's just not fair that this illness can strike down on the young; and (b) because I feel for the most part that you're having to handle this on your own, and that must be a huge weight that you're having on your shoulders.

Where I live, my two kids (children - the absolute LOVES of my life) are heading back to school in one week's time (and yes, I've already told them how extremely lucky they are, as I think that a lot of schools are getting back into it this coming week) - Savanna, when are you heading back to school and what are your feelings about that?

I'm sorry if I've asked too many questions ... answer the ones you feel comfortable with or answer none if you feel I'm overstepping the mark.

But like Geoff, we are extremely concerned for you and just want to offer appropriate advice to you as best we can.

Kind regards

Neil