topic Lost High Schooler With Depression in Depression

Lost High Schooler With Depression

Pingunoog — Mon, 17 Jan 2022 04:25:20 GMT

Hello, I want some feedback on whether I'm going crazy or whether other people have felt the same...

I'm a 17 yr old high schooler and I've been battling depression since I was in Yr 8. Lately, I've been told that that I failed a Preliminary subject and may not be able to complete the HSC this year. I was looking forwards to graduating high school and leaving the experiences of high school behind but this news of having to redo an extra year has completely crushed me. I can't think about surviving another year in high school, I can't rely on my friends or my teachers because I understand that they are unable to empathise with my pain. The decision of not completing the HSC has weighed heavily on my mind because I'm sick and tired of the mundane routine that high school forces on me. I used to be so caught up in grades that I've completely burnt out and don't want to care anymore, I want to be free and do more than what school offers. So I've researched extensively into alternate pathways and TAFE courses but some teachers are extra pushy about ATAR and all that. How do I tell people that I don't care about my ATAR? If my ATAR means I'm going to be broken throughout my uni years, I'd rather not receive an ATAR at all. I'd rather continue my education by working, building connections and getting a diploma before entering uni to obtain a degree. People keep telling me things I don't want to hear, "Focus on the HSC.", "You're going to get a good ATAR because you're smart.", "What do you mean you're not good? You're good at everything." Why can't these people see that I have periods where I genuinely considered not living at all? Some adults might think, oh, this 17 year old is naive and doesn't know what's best for themselves, "completing the HSC is the most important". Sometimes I just want to tell these adults, the child knows themselves better than anyone else so sometimes I wish they'd support me for more than the grades I produce as their student. It doesn't help that I attend a private school and parents are financially unstable and can't afford an extra year of school on top of math tuitions. At this point, I don't even know if I should just drop out and go work experience then transfer through TAFE.

Lost High Schooler With Depression

Gambit87 — Mon, 17 Jan 2022 04:57:20 GMT

Hi Pingunoog,

Welcome to the forums!

Teachers don't seem to have changed much! They were exactly like that when I went to school (I too went to a private school and finished high school in 2004). Teachers were obsessed with ATARs, university entries etc - it was almost like if you don't go to university - you're going to fail in life.

I finished school without any ATAR or anything like that. I managed to get into a tafe course but I felt like a failure because people were going to uni and I was in the mindset that uni was key!

What many teachers 'fail' to tell/teach you is that are so many different paths you can follow once you finish school. Want to go to uni but didnt get the grades in school? Do a uni prep course. Want to do a trade? do an apprenticeship. Want to study something but not at a uni - TAFE! What they also dont really let on is that any one of these paths can lead to a job and there are many people out there who did not go to uni and they have good jobs that pay well.

You will not ruin your life if don't get an ATAR.

You should have a chat to your parents about how you're feeling though and work out a plan moving forward!

Lost High Schooler With Depression

Pingunoog — Mon, 17 Jan 2022 06:39:36 GMT

Hi Gambit,
Thank you so much for replying! I am always amazed by much teachers lack in mentorship, they are always willing to push expectations onto students instead of letting them flourish in environments compatible for them. It's pretty hard to thrive in a school that adopts the "one size fits all" system. I've talked to my parents about my plan of completing a certificate since I'm ineligible for an HSC (without repeating a yr) in TAFE and fortunately they're quite supportive.

I want to ask whether you've felt bad towards your teachers for not getting an ATAR, because some teachers may have had hopes for you as they do for me and I feel like I'm a let down if I'm not the prize student they thought I was.

Lost High Schooler With Depression

Gambit87 — Mon, 17 Jan 2022 07:10:22 GMT

The fact that your parents is supportive is a massive win!

I want to ask whether you've felt bad towards your teachers for not getting an ATAR, because some teachers may have had hopes for you as they do for me and I feel like I'm a let down if I'm not the prize student they thought I was.

To be honest - I didn't feel bad. I appreciated their thoughts and opinions, but I did what was best for me. That's the thing you need to think about - what is the best thing for ME, not for your teachers. You're teachers are not going to be in your life once you finish school. You're NOT a let down for putting yourself first!