topic I've been fighting depression for so long but I don't know how much longer I can keep going in Depression

I've been fighting depression for so long but I don't know how much longer I can keep going

TJS4133 — Mon, 21 Jun 2021 06:32:41 GMT

I've been struggling with depression for pretty much all my adult life; that's several decades now. To be honest, I have had many good years. But the last 18 months or so have been really hard. And I don't know how much longer I can keep fighting. I'm just exhausted. I have a loving wife and two great children for whom I'm trying to stay alive but I need something more. What's the point? How and/or where can I find meaning and joy? I know these are big questions but I'm sure some of you have faced similar ones. Any tips/suggestions would be greatly appreciated

I've been fighting depression for so long but I don't know how much longer I can keep going

Ggrand — Mon, 21 Jun 2021 07:24:43 GMT

Hello Dear TJS4133,

A very warm and caring welcome to our forums...

Im so sorry your depression has been really bad for the past 18 months...

I am happy that you have a loving wife and 2 great children...and that you love them a lot to stay for them...

There is so much to live for, so many reasons..Maybe you don’t see it now, because of your depression...but one day your children might get married and have children of their own..your beautiful grandchildren need a granddad to okay and teach them different things then their parents would...So much Joy having grandchildren to interact with...and your children now..no matter their age they need their father..and of course your beautiful and living wife needs you...

You said that you have had many good years..that’s great..now you seem to have slipped back down into depression..It’s hard to accept but this is a phase your going through...things are constantly changing and you won’t be this way forever..it will pass..maybe reach out to your Dr..for help..

TJS..have you any hobbies you like doing?..Something that will distract your negative or depressive thoughts for a while....Our brain can only think on one thing at a time..doing something that you like, that you can fully concentrate on..will help with those unhealthy thought...

Music is a beautiful way to calm an over active thought pattern...by singing alone with it...That’s my go to sometimes...

Please continue to talk here when you feel up to it..

We are here to help support you through this..the best we can...

My kindest thoughts dear TSJ....

Grandy..

I've been fighting depression for so long but I don't know how much longer I can keep going

Markymark313 — Mon, 21 Jun 2021 07:47:38 GMT

Hey mate sorry to hear you've been struggling for some time now but there's always light at the end of the tunnel as grandy has said there's so much to live for but you are having a hard time to see it right now if you have any hobbies for me it's fishing (not the best at it but dam it helps) or things in life that bring you joy get out and do them you've had many good years and you've got many more to come and maybe reaching out to your doctor or counsellor could be beneficial

I've been fighting depression for so long but I don't know how much longer I can keep going

TJS4133 — Mon, 21 Jun 2021 07:55:17 GMT

Thanks very much Grandy 🙏🏻

I've been fighting depression for so long but I don't know how much longer I can keep going

TJS4133 — Mon, 21 Jun 2021 07:56:24 GMT

Thank you Mark

I've been fighting depression for so long but I don't know how much longer I can keep going

therising — Mon, 21 Jun 2021 12:11:20 GMT

Hi TJS4133

My heart goes out to you as you face the monumental challenge of questioning all in life. I'm wondering if you can relate: To question a little is not so bad. To question a lot becomes mind altering. To question everything can become overwhelmingly intolerable.

You pose 2 of the most potentially mind altering life changing questions one can ask: 'What's the point?' and 'How and/or where can I find meaning and joy?' Life would definitely be so much easier if we were given the answers from the start. It doesn't seem fair that we're not, leading into decades for the search for answers. I discovered in my years beyond depression that the questions themselves are a part of the quest. May sound a little silly but when you think about it, how many people along the way have not managed to give you your answers, some direction? You're an amazing person to still be looking. Don't lose sight of your incredible determination, in coming this far.

I spent 15 years in a depression with no mind altering life changing answers until that moment I came out of it. The greatest question that triggered a change of course - 'Who am I?' I had absolutely no idea. Based on the nature of depression, I thought I was lazy, angry, sad, difficult, ungrateful, hopeless, lost, empty, erratic, worthless, challenging and the list goes on. Without the traits of depression, I had no idea who I was. This leads me to wonder - Do you know who you naturally are? A strange question, I know.

Are you a natural philosopher, a wonderer, a questioner of all things questionable? Are you an adventurer with no one to trigger a true sense of adventure? Are you someone who cannot tolerate basic? Are you tolerating a basic life, a basic family environment, basic channels of communication, a basic connection to your emotions, a basic amount of energy (nothing too exciting)? Are you tolerating a basic amount of chemistry moving through your body, your brain; basic but not enough to feel happiness, excitement and so on? I've found, in managing my mental health over the years, that feeling of wanting something more tells me I'm caught in a state of tolerating 'basic'. Sounds strange but living basically is one of my triggers for depression. Living in VIC, lock down seriously tested my mental health in so many ways.

An intense question but 'What's the point of living a basic life when the ultimate quest, the reason you're here, is to find your true sense of self?'. Who can help you on this quest?

🙂

I've been fighting depression for so long but I don't know how much longer I can keep going

Markymark313 — Tue, 22 Jun 2021 02:08:53 GMT

Happy to help mate please continue to post if you feel up to it