topic Feeling empty in Depression

Feeling empty

Clotilde — Tue, 19 Aug 2014 23:51:19 GMT

Hi Geoff,

Thank-you for showing me how to start a new post. I have replied to the previous one, but I will continue writing on this one.

Clotilde

Feeling empty

geoff — Wed, 20 Aug 2014 00:11:21 GMT

dear Clotilde, that's great because otherwise it would get lost in someone's post, which may mean that people who don't look up that particular post so you wouldn't get any replies, which you well deserve to get. Geoff.

Feeling empty

AGrace — Thu, 21 Aug 2014 10:40:59 GMT

Hi Clotilde,

Welcome to the forums. I am glad the amazing Geoff has helped you navigate around.

I didn't see your other post, so I thought I'd just say hello, and remind you that we are always here should you wish to post again:)

AGrace

Feeling empty

Clotilde — Fri, 22 Aug 2014 02:30:26 GMT

Hi everyone,

This was my previous post:

Hi,

I have just joined tonight. I have had depression for many years and it has been controlled. At the moment, I am feeling really low, I am not sure if it is partly due to my job which is getting me down. I always try to be strong, but at the moment I feel like an empty vessel.

Thanks for listening.

Feeling empty

Clotilde — Fri, 22 Aug 2014 02:31:43 GMT

Thanks Grace.

I find it helpful to talk to people who understand what I am going through at the moment. I don't feel so alone.

Feeling empty

CMF — Fri, 22 Aug 2014 03:48:34 GMT

Hi clotilde,

I too have suffered anxiety/depression on and off for many years. I was extremely low and empty a few weeks ago but the last few days have been better. I can understand a job getting you down. what do you do for work? I have been making a conscious effort to take my iron and vitamin d and have been walking every day which I think is helping. the sunshine is a nice change too.

what do you enjoy doing outside of work?

Feeling empty

Clotilde — Fri, 22 Aug 2014 07:44:08 GMT

I am a teacher and I love teaching students, but currently my employer is putting so many demands us. We have to keep up to date with technology and they are constantly changing the software that we use. Also, the last two term breaks, I had to attend workshops interstate and I felt as if I didn't get a break. I work all day and then I go home and do corrections until 10 pm. I don't have any hobbies other than my work at the moment. If I don't keep up with the workload then I will be even more stressed.

Feeling empty

AGrace — Fri, 22 Aug 2014 12:40:54 GMT

Hi Clotilde,

I completely get your workload. I'm not a teacher but I used to be a trainer. I'd be in the classroom training from 7am - 6pm, and everyone thought it was such a glamorous job. Everyone forgets the fact that because you're in a training room all day all the work you actually need to do has to happen at night. I used to switch off my computer at 11:30pm, but my phone would always be on, in case I received an email or call from my bosses overseas. I felt like I was switched on 24hrs a day. Sadly the more I did the more they expected I could do - so it was just never ending. One day I realised I had to turn the switch off. I ended up in hospital for a few months and subsequently had to resign.

I made a promise to myself that I'd never go back to that life, it just wasn't worth it.

It sounds to me like you are losing yourself in your work. Working day and night, during breaks, and not having time for you and your interests outside of work is obviously taking it's toll. Is there an opportunity to change the way things are for you? Have you spoken with your employer about what an average day looks like for you? Is there an opportunity for you to speak with a union member? If there's no opportunity for change then I guess you have to ask yourself how important is your health?

If your depression is already on a one way path to return then it's vital that you take some time to get some care. Do you still see a therapist? Are you taking medications? What do you think would help you right now?

I look forward to hearing more from you.

AGrace

Feeling empty

geoff — Fri, 22 Aug 2014 14:48:40 GMT

dear Clotilde, Amber is right, if your work consumes your time, then your mind it only leads to trouble.

I was the same as I was self employed but I was working 6 days for my work, then night time I would be working at home as we were renovating it and this includes the 7th day, I loved what I was doing but at the end was when I finally broke down.

It can be a trap but I realise that you have these responsibilities, and I know that you are 'always try to be strong' but even this won't be enough to beat this depression, so please be careful, and please let us know how you are going. Geoff.

Feeling empty

CMF — Sat, 23 Aug 2014 10:33:20 GMT

Hi Clotilde,

ok, you have an important job a as teacher, primary or high school? I too was a trainer like agrace and yes it is demanding and not glamorous in class all day and then prepping in between. I also think its important that work stress doesn't not consume you but I know its hard. I'm currently on maternity leave and cannot see myself going back to work stress plus 3 kids to look after. how are others coping with the constant demands?

Feeling empty

Clotilde — Mon, 25 Aug 2014 08:31:13 GMT

I am a secondary teacher and I teach LOTE. It is really difficult for me to take time off even when I am sick and the doctor gives me a medical certificate. I teach year 12 and I am preparing them for their final exams at the moment. If I take time off, I am expected to prepare lessons for my replacements which is just as much work as if I went to work myself. Several years ago, I had major surgery and my employer was ringing me in hospital to ask work related questions. In the end, the hospital did not allow me take any telephone calls as I needed to rest. I reduced my work load by going part-time, but my workload is still increasing.

I am thinking of applying for a job in a smaller school where hopefully, the stress levels won't be a much. I feel totally burnt out.

Feeling empty

CMF — Mon, 25 Aug 2014 16:14:46 GMT

how are you?

Wow you have heaps of pressure on you. You need a good break. I think applying for other jobs may be a good idea. Can you teach younger year levels so you don't have the exam pressure?

Feeling empty

Clotilde — Tue, 26 Aug 2014 10:23:10 GMT

Hi,

I went to the doctor today and she has increased my medication. I will be starting counseling sessions next week. I think that if I can't find another job, I will decrease my hours again next year and do some tutoring from home to supplement my income. I really appreciate your support. I found that joining the forum has really been helpful for me and I don't feel so isolated. When I am back on track, I hope that I can give back to the group and support others.

Feeling empty

AGrace — Tue, 26 Aug 2014 10:43:43 GMT

Hi Clotilde,

I'm glad you have got some support from your Dr, and I think the counselling sessions will be really beneficial. Looking for another job, or at least reducing your hours is a good plan. Just remember if you reduce your hours, then your workload also has to reduce. I know I've been caught out before in reducing hours but then still trying to fit in the same weight of work - it doesn't work.

It's nice to hear that you would like to give back, keep the focus on you for now.

AGrace

Feeling empty

Clotilde — Mon, 01 Sep 2014 09:56:39 GMT

Hi again,

My Dr. has changed my medication, and I am starting to feel a little bit better. I am starting counselling sessions next week.

Regards,

Clotilde

Feeling empty

Clotilde — Mon, 27 Oct 2014 09:19:52 GMT

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to give you all an update. I have change medications and I am getting counselling which means that I feel a lot better than I did a couple of months ago. My psychologist and GP wrote a letter to my principal asking him to reduce my workload by giving me less senior classes. My principal has been very supportive and spoke to the family of the student who gave me a hard time. I just wanted to thank-you all again for your help and support. It is great to know that I am not alone and that many others have depression and anxiety too. I have begun letting people know at work and I am amazed to find out how many of my colleagues have suffered from this condition too. Kind regards,

Clotilde

Feeling empty

AGrace — Mon, 27 Oct 2014 18:38:11 GMT

Hi Clotilde,

Thanks for the update. It appears as though you are headed down the right path. I am really pleased that in opening up about mental health you have come across others who have walked a while in your shoes. The principal should be really proud for the way s/he has handled your situation.

I'm also glad that the counselling is helping you. It looks like all of your hard work is paying off. I hope that the reduction in hours will give you a little more "me" time.

All the best.

AGrace