What do I do ?

PrvtWoft — Mon, 08 Jul 2013 08:34:11 GMT

I have been battling depression with little success for about 5 years. (When I lost my last full time job).

Since then I have been hired a few times but only lasted a matter of days and either walked off the job or had what I think are anxiety (or anger related) attacks which have landed me in bad situations.

Through all this I have been in hospital a few times and mental wards about 5 times now.

I cannot seem to stay positive about anything for more than a week or so and ponder suicide nearly every second day.

I have thought about my future which seems grim. I have no job, no friends, no brothers or sisters and the rest of the family is ageing. I will be truly alone sooner or later. The only future I can see for myself is some unemployed bum who lives on the streets because his family is gone and he knows no one else and cant land a job.

I thought id try something else so I have enrolled in study and am in my second week. It is not going as well as I thought it would. I have already had multiple arguments with teachers. I have already missed three classes and am getting letters from my lecturers about this. As soon as I get panicked by this all I can think about is running away, killing myself etc.

Then I think of the other side of things and try to cheer myself up.. sometimes it works and sometimes it doesnt… WHAT if I do get a job. A nine to five job in some office doing something I hate for the rest of my life. This sounds even more depressing than the alternative.

I really don’t know what to do, because every alternative seems just as depressing to me.

What do I do ?

Rach — Tue, 09 Jul 2013 08:08:12 GMT

Hi PrvtWoft 🙂

you sound like you are in a place that i was in several months ago. Is there something out there that you enjoy?? If you didnt have to worry about money what would you do?

You need to find something that you enjoy otherwise your work life is going to make you way more depressed. Personally I love craft items, so ive left my job and am making items and selling on ebay and in a market. My salary has basically halved but the feeling of waking up in the morning and being happy about what your going to do during the day is absolutely amazing 🙂

topic What do I do ? in Depression

What do I do ?

What do I do ?