topic Scared to death, OF DEATH. in Anxiety

Scared to death, OF DEATH.

Chin_Up — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 02:29:15 GMT

To all the fellow sufferers of anxiety,

Ever since I was a young child I have suffered from an extreme phobia of death. If I so much as think about it, I will have hot flushes and feel faint. My mind cannot fathom the thought of being here on earth, creating all of these loving relationships and then having it all erased.

I'm not a religious person, so I don't have the comfort of saying to people 'see you on the other side' When for me, I have yet to experience any proof of this so called eternal life.

I believe this fear is a large reason for my anxious and depressive personality.

Does anybody have any feedback on there thoughts, feelings and fears of death.. I think I just need to talk about it.

Hugs to all,

ChinUp.

Scared to death, OF DEATH.

Vegetarian Marshmallow — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 07:46:20 GMT

I've never reaaally had a *fear* of death. I could *conceive of* that fear creeping up on me as I get older, or if I develop some terminal illness, or if someone starts chasing me around with a knife all the time. But for now I'm content to think that when I die, I won't actually be *able* to care that I'm dead. I don't believe in an afterlife.

My survivors can mourn me in their own ways, remember me in their own ways, and then they, too, will die, and all evidence I was ever here (except tax records) will be gone. And that will be fine, because I and my loved ones won't have intact brains, and won't have the ability to care.

I did once worry a little when I was on a plane. Not of death, per se. I'm fine with planes, and I thought there was exactly 0% chance I would die on this one. But I was reminded of the stereotype of people being afraid to fly, which got me thinking about death. And then I got to thinking about this girl I was quite enamoured of, and I got quite sad at the fact that if I died, I'd no longer be able to talk to her. And then I put in my earphones and rocked out to intense doom-metal/avant-garde/chamber/ambient stuff, to the touch- and sight-track of turbulence over the lightning-caressed midnight ocean.

Scared to death, OF DEATH.

Mel_D_1978 — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 10:10:22 GMT

I think its natural to be frightened by your own demise. I believe in life after death(no religion) so I find comfort in that. I swing from being frightened to the extreme that you described and inviting death. I think inviting death is an unnatural state of mind. So I think you being frightened is probably healthy. Think about all the time you have wasted on worrying and thinking about death, when you could be using that time living and enjoying the time you have.

Scared to death, OF DEATH.

S_A_D_ — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 16:15:31 GMT

Thanks ChinUp for reaching out to this community for help. I am an atheist with depression, stress, anxiety, and rage. I try every day to look at the world in a rational way. I frequently fail. When I fail, I try to find the humour in the absurd lack of rational thinking. I often fail at this too, but every bit helps get me through the day. Hence my name Facetious.

You have provided a good foundation of context which we can use to converse, however I have insufficient information to answer your question. Can you please provide between 1 sentence and 2 short paragraphs, each, on what you think/believe/predict happens to a person when they die, and how you predict you will react when someone you know dies?

If you don't respond, I hope considering how you might answer these questions has been therapeutic.

Scared to death, OF DEATH.

Vegetarian Marshmallow — Tue, 25 Jun 2013 03:25:23 GMT

It may be of some comfort to consider the holistic view that, even though *you're* dead, your "faction" - the universe - keeps going. Babies will continue to be born, cry for their mothers, eat pureed gingerbread (is that a thing babies do?), swing on swings and in jazz halls. Ladies will continue to wear frilly dresses while riding around the city malls on their great danes. Rabbits will continue to bounce around, keeping the ant people downtrodden. The wind will blow, the sun will shine, and most things will be just sublime. And even when the sun finally throws it in and goes to that great vacuum in the meta-sky, the rest of the billions of stars will continue on, flickering mockingly. "Ha, ha, you're dead" they will say in the celestial version of morse code, probably.

Scared to death, OF DEATH.

worriedrachael — Tue, 02 Jul 2013 13:25:12 GMT

I am exactly the same!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Ever since I was very little I would get very upset and worry that the people I love, I might never see again.I am working through all that at the moment as its at the core of my anxiety. I dont have a set religion my have started exploring all types of views and belifes which helps me allot. So i suggest to you(apart from speaking to someone who knows how to treat phobias) start researching other religions all kinds...

xxx

Scared to death, OF DEATH.

The_Real_David_Charles — Wed, 03 Jul 2013 06:08:09 GMT

Dear Chin Up,

Keep your chin up. One of the reasons seems to be that death, any kind of death related to your friends or family, is an echo of other deaths. So, sometimes we feel it stronger. Or we a true Aussies and say "Lucky bastard" !

Why worry about something we have very little control over like death. Maybe life is worth a go sometimes too ? Unless your a matyr or suicidal bomber.

I loved Rodentdron's comment - even though you're dead the universe keeps going, bouncy rabbits and down trodden ants and all. Maybe the real fear of death is that some nasty people who have controlled others all their lives still seem to exert an undue influence. But then Christians use the positive spin of this when they ask "What would Jesus have done ?" in tricky situations like discovering that the barnyard building in Armish Communities could have been done before the storm if electric tools had been used or even when running out of toilet paper after a particularly fierce Indian Hot Curry.

Adios, David.

Scared to death, OF DEATH.

Bec1994 — Mon, 08 Jul 2013 14:59:51 GMT

Hey,

I have felt the same way since I was first introduced to the idea of death. It was worse when I was younger, I would think about it and it didnt matter where I was it would bring me to tears, thinking that I wouldnt exist anymore, or that I wouldnt be able to breath or think, If i thought about it at night I wouldnt be able to sleep because I would lay there and make sure that I was still breathing.

Now that Im a little older it still scares me, but as I have way to many other things that trigger my anxiety I try not to think about, I'm the same with not being religious, but it doesnt stop me from secretly hoping that all of it is true and that there is an afterlife, which if there isnt it is true, we wont exist so we wont be able to care about it. I think when your younger its harder to accept death, for me (being 18) I think about all the stuff I havnt done yet and all the people that I love thta i would leave behind, but as you get older you get to complete all those things you want to do in life, and the thought of dealth will get easier, as long as you life a fulfilling life you should have no reason to fear death.

One thing I have done that Has helped is I made a bucket list, of all the stupid and fun shit I want to do with my life before I die, as far as im concerned these days im not going to die until after I complete every single thing on my list.

best thing to do is to try not to think about it and to be more concerned about living each day to the best that you can, and to take every opportunity you get, no matter how crazy it may be!!

Scared to death, OF DEATH.

Blackecho — Mon, 15 Jul 2013 08:27:33 GMT

Hey Peoples...

Couple of years ago I had throat surgery ...anyway couple weeks later woke up at 4 am thinking I was dribbling saliva...wiped my mouth....and rolled over....anyway felt it again..wiped it again then decided to turn light on.....pillows and sheets covered in blood...terrified I rang the ambulance..they took me to emergency...they managed to stop it....but it came back....they left me sitting there bleeding. I felt it going down to the back of my throat but the nurses said....no just as long as you lean forward. Two hours later I was rushed into resus...and then surgery. I remember feeling this was it ....I was a on my way out. Since then ...... contemplated death a lot and as I am not overly religious ....and I am the same ..... hate the idea that when lights out...there is nothing. Some how though... I look at nature...the amazing world...space....the wonders we surround ....and the love......makes me think...ahhh nah there is something more.....

Scared to death, OF DEATH.

danrose — Tue, 16 Jul 2013 11:05:06 GMT

Hi everyone,it's nice to read what everyone else is going through,i wont bore you with all my details but want to share a little bit of what im going through hoping it will help,my anxiety started about 20 odd years ago with panic attacks after a disasterous relationship,the panic attacks subsided but left me with anxiety and the fear that something is about to happen that will end my life,some days are good some not.It can be something like a pain in my jaw like a toothache and my brain goes into overdrive that i'm going to die and then it takes a long time to for me to quiet my brain down that nothing is wrong.I have an appointment with a doctor next week as I realy don't want to go through another 20 years of this,i'm lucky in a sense as i'm not as bad as it used to be,anyway it's nice to talk,my wife is very supportive but I hope it helps me to talk to fellow sufferers,thanks for listening.

Scared to death, OF DEATH.

laureah21 — Wed, 31 Jul 2013 00:11:58 GMT

Hi Chin up,

That must feel horrible. I have never had that problem but do suffer anxiety. I find Allan Watts lectures on youtube helpm me with my fear alot. Here is one about fear of death that might help you a bit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Rz4ReNv6M8

Scared to death, OF DEATH.

Mild — Fri, 09 Aug 2013 09:09:25 GMT

Lately I have been unsure about death myself. Currently 22 and overweight, I recently lost my dog and with a few other things it has been making me ponder about life. Was trying to go to sleep after having a family dinner and I was having panic attacks wondering what would happen once I die. If it helps I'm also agnostic - so I don't believe in any religion but I do hope something appears.

Two things have helped me understand it better

#1 - I'm too young to understand, it will be more familiar once I am closer to death

#2 - Circle of life and death must continue (popular character quote from someone in league of legends)

This helped me find some closer knowing we all must die sometime for life to continue however I was still curious - I wanted to understand more about why we die and the afterlife.

Naturally I have been reading what I can off the web and have found some closure in the words of scientists to understand death a little better - in particular Einstein. I find research scientists and their views on religion is quite peaceful. However at the end of the day I was born from nature, I live off nature and I will return to nature once I die. Once I accepted this I began to think of the afterlife and meaning of life. If I am here to aid nature, what happens afterwards? Maybe Reincarnation?

Hence what I am still anxious about is the afterlife, the possibility of a soul and whether I will be with my family after I die. With this I have nothing but faith to go off and the wisdom of others. I have little faith to begin with but I do believe (with long talks from my Mother) that those that have gone before me are looking out for me. My Dad believes his family are there waiting for him. Then my thoughts go crazy ... Scientists are researching the possibility of a soul, If Energy is neither created nor destroyed then where do I go? Will I still be with my family or see them? Will I feel love? Will I still exist?

Don't know what happens after death if anything and I can accept that. I just want to know if I still have my family after death and it scares me. The idea of reincarnation and losing my family scares me more. My mother believes I am grieving at the moment but I still want to hope. Any ideas?

Scared to death, OF DEATH.

The_Real_David_Charles — Fri, 09 Aug 2013 11:38:15 GMT

"Death, where is thy sting ?" quote from The Bible.

Dear Chin Up,

Most talk about death merely gives death importance. There are a billion other ideas to think about and enjoy. Even "Dukes of Hazzard".

Adios, David.

PS Sorry, my Bold is stuck.

Scared to death, OF DEATH.

Pixie15 — Mon, 12 Aug 2013 12:43:21 GMT

Hi Chin Up,

I think it is normal to worry about dying if you think about it. It would seem that mostly I avoid thinking about it. I can remember the first time I really worried about dying as a teenager. I had been raised religious but lying in bed one night I was overcome with fear. I could just not envision anything past death. There was only darkness. After that I needed a distraction to get myself to sleep, reading, radio, counting things etc. Then after awhile I started thinking I may as well just enjoy myself because everyone over 35 seemed miserable anyway. Obviously this is not true but it made me feel better at the time. It broke the negative thinking. Peace, Chris.

Scared to death, OF DEATH.

Teacher9 — Tue, 20 Aug 2013 07:02:08 GMT

Its not usually until someone dies close to us, when question or wonder about death.

I seriously think there is nothing for you to worry about, because when it happen, what will be will be. It is usually those left behind who do the worrying and grieving which is the bad part.

Try not to focus on dying, if you have beliefs this can be reassuring. I'm not religious but believe we leave our bodies and our spirit goes and joins loved ones on the other side. This can be reassuring to know we go to a place where no one is in pain and a place that is pretty cool.

Maybe read some books or google beliefs.. i found reading about life after death experiences reassuring and when a elderly person has passed around me, i feel reassured they are meeting their loved ones and moving like a youngin again lol,bit harder when younger people die but still knowing they are pain free is nice.

Scared to death, OF DEATH.

The_Real_David_Charles — Wed, 21 Aug 2013 02:52:50 GMT

Dear S.A.D.

Your post suggested writing an essay about death and it's impact. Pondering on the writing. Digesting the threat.

If one is contemplating death then there's a good chance your mind won't be too analytical or into essays ! A good talk with a friend or counsellor is one way to alleviate the negativity. Another is to do something you value.

If you even take cutting your nails as an example. Would a suicidal person be able to cut off the intense distress if they took 2 mins to cut their own nails ? Seriously. Would one small task of humble domesticity break the awful thinking and give a window of opportunity to get away from such diabolical thoughts ?

Adios, David.

PS Movies often use peer pressure to stop suicide. There is a penchant for the line "Then you'll have to kill me too". Thankfully most people don't want to harm another whilst they are contemplating harming themselves. Why is this ?

Scared to death, OF DEATH.

Luke_Hugo — Fri, 13 Sep 2013 10:45:33 GMT

Hi,

I had recently read an article about the effect of death on a person's behaviour. Yes, it can have negative effects, but it can also make you aware of what is important. I have had that thought run through my head once or twice and it sent a shiver down my spine while turning my stomach.I am still young, so it is natural to be scared of death. I am not religious, but i do believe in God, so it comforts me a little. just take what you believe in and dedicate your life to it.

Scared to death, OF DEATH.

Ponder — Tue, 17 Sep 2013 21:52:40 GMT

Indeed ... interesting to read peoples responses here. Since giving up religion I seem less afraid of Death, as the fear itself seems more taught than natural. I now look at it as nothing more than a cycle with a limited number of events lefts that will inevitably lead to extinction and that being a cycle in it's self.

I can identify with the emotions SAD mentions above when thinking on Mankind and the LIFE it lives on this planet. I think the reality is that the frilly little dresses and down trodden ants of which they speak are a mixture that will see mankind's end as opposed to comforting oneself with the notion that life goes on.

I mean not to be a buzz kill here ... after all I do suffer from severe depression as a result of what I see on a daily basis and of course the choices I make.

Death ... what does it mean to me? I have had close family and friends Die. I was hard to deal with and Life went from the happy families so often painted on the television screens to plastic families that aspire to the live the life so commonly sold via TV, Radio, Internet, Billboards, and so on ...

I guess everything became so trivial and meaningless ... Bit like when a child discovers what the real world can be like, but 10 fold when you begin to unlearn for a second time later in life. It's a hole new problem in itself I guess ...

So in this light, I believe Death becomes less daunting and in fact for many a much long drawn out wait to escape the reality of which they live. I'm not condoning opting at, but giving my perspective which unfortunately does not resonate with the positivity so many of us seek.

I fear Life ... Not Death. Of course I fear the act of Dieing .... but not so much the Door I see it to be. Perhaps the unknown of where it may lead, but in that respect all I can think of is Nature and everything Man is not ... as the two together are a stark contrast.

I like to believe somehow we are rehashed in some other part of the universe and in fact understand and marvel at how matter is so recycled and take heart in that alone. What matters is finding what gives us balance and riding as best we can on that alone. I can't take anymore in ... my vessel is pretty much done with Mans preaching of more and more ...

I'm doing my best to simply enjoy what little is left ... For me, Death is simply the end of a very tough lesson and one in which I will take comfort that brings a sense of peace ... one way or the other.

Again ... It's Life I am having trouble with ... but alas ... Understanding Death ... can help one with the other...

Just my 2 cents ... I like finding in by learning from the down trodden ant ... 🙂

Take care all.
Dave

Scared to death, OF DEATH.

FacePalmDodger — Sat, 31 Jan 2015 06:49:10 GMT

Hey

I have existential death anxiety, and i will start to think about the end, the end of my life, the one thing that is basically certain. It is the worst thing, i will start thinking about it (Usually in bed or the shower or a time i get to think) and i will like shutdown, i start screaming, crying and jumping about. It doesn't stop. My heart starts racing, breathing gets heavy. I don't believe in the afterlife, But i do hope there is. Is there anyone with help for this. I would prefer if you have beaten it yourself because you understand the pain i go through.

Yours Truly Facepalmdodger

Scared to death, OF DEATH.

Vegetarian Marshmallow — Fri, 01 May 2015 10:04:16 GMT

Only one part of you will be gone - the part that looks at things. The part that takes actions it believes in is still very much alive, in the form of ideas spread to others while your body was alive. When your daughter holds the door open for the person behind her, she is using your hand. When the erstwhile drug addict you gave support to, helps another in turn, he is using your heart. This part of you that watches things, routinely turns itself off anyway, such as when you have dreamless sleep. So you should be used to it. Every moment of the day, you are dead to a trillion trillion perspectives already. When you are paying attention to the clock on the wall, you are not paying attention to the rice cooking on the stove. You are dead to the stove. You are dead to the cars outside. You are dead to a leaf falling off a tree in China. You are dead to the TV programme playing three houses over. You are dead to the experience of making love to a woman in Spain right now. You are dead to the university lecture on mathematics which is happening right now. Are those death states scary? Bodily death will just be one more.

What will happen when you die? What part in particular gives you the most anxiety? Is it purely what awaits you on the other side that frightens you? Is there something that you want to have done before you die? Will something catastrophic happen to your family if you die? I think these kinds of questions are what you should consider in getting to the root of why you have this anxiety.