topic Severe anxiety in Anxiety

Severe anxiety

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Mon, 04 Feb 2013 13:51:00 GMT

Originally posted by: Mahtab on 5 February 2013

I am a 25 year old psychology student that cannot get rid of constant negative thoughts & continuing panic attacks. I work in a bank as a teller and every day is a struggle to get up and get dressed as I fear what the day has in store for me. Back in 2007 my parents split and it was a messy divorce resulting in me being stuck in the middle, then in 2010, I witnessed someone get murdered and since then my anxiety has increased immensely. I constantly feel something bad is going to happen, I'm scared of big crowds, I think sooo negatively to the point where I start suffocating and almost choking. When im in public, i get this feeling that im detached from my body and my throat starts closing up. I shake to the point where my jaw feels like its going to break in half. I have a phobia of being sick which is on my mind 24/7. I never have a proper nights sleep unless the night before I stay awake until early morning and tire myself, I'm waking up every night around same time 2,3am and I start panicking for no apparent reason. I'm so sick of being sick! There is always always always something wrong with me, either headache or I'm tired or fatigued or moody, and I'm losing the ones I love because I keep snapping at them. I just want to be panic free and live a happy life but the only way I can do that is if I live on medication for the rest of my life 😞 😞 😞

Severe anxiety

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Tue, 05 Feb 2013 09:41:08 GMT

Originally posted by: David Charles on 5 February 2013

Dear Muhtab, Why not be panic free and happy living on medication for either the rest of your life or only at times when you really benefit from the support of drugs ? Most of your stressors - parents divorce, witnessing a murder - were not things you could have controlled. But taking pescription drugs is pretty OK. I've been on drugs for my bipolar (25 yrs) and sometimes they help a lot, other times I'm on optimal drug levels and I still get manic and there are the times I try exercise, mindfulness or sleep therapy and I feel like I don't even need the drugs. Banks hours are fairly regular so establishing a regular sleep pattern would be what I'd recommend first. Did you ever get counselling for those stressors ? Sounds like your brain is still processing the suddenness of those life experiences. That's too much anxiety and stress for a 25 yr old. Relaxing isn't anxiety free but most sleep therapies recommend giving up after 20 mins if the sleep's not really happening and distracting yourself before trying again. When I was really stressed I used to get up at 2am or 3am because I thought I'd heard the door bell but there was never anyone there ! [Unless you live on my street and were playing a prank on me every night.....................] I hope Scotty responds to you as he has more experience on this issue. Adios, David. PS Caffeine, even after 4pm, can stimulate the sensitive and make sleep impossible. You're NOT a victim here. You just need a few strategies. We are all sick on this site ! (No big deal). It's how you react to the stress that makes the difference. When you grandstand and make the problem even more worse than it is, i.e. AND SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE ON DRUGS, (shock, horror) you are totally missing the alternative point which is to take things slowly, a day at a time, thinking and appraising what helps and what sucks (possibly my response !) so that THE REAL YOU gets to understand and accept the subconcious reasons for your anxiety. This could take a while to get to grips with but you'll finally gain some insight and control. Your health needs to go from a huge debt to your emotions to a compound interest loan that just builds on the yearly achievements but makes you a solid investment as a human. To use the banking analogy. (Or attempt to). I am a musician so forgive me. But we both work with notes !!!

Severe anxiety

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Tue, 05 Feb 2013 12:19:38 GMT

Originally posted by: stephen on 5 February 2013

Hi Mahtab, There are alternatives to medication. Are you seeing a psychologist to teach you coping mechanisms for the anxiety? And to also discuss the stress you have been under. Also are you doing any exercise? It is very good for anxiety. Stephen

Severe anxiety

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Wed, 06 Feb 2013 12:17:05 GMT

Originally posted by: Mahtab on 6 February 2013

thank you to both of you for your replies. It helps to know there are people who care... i do exercise, I visit the gym few times a week and I eat healthy as well, however the anxiety still creeps up on me. I have spoken to psychologists before, but I am too ashamed to talk about my problems, I am too afraid to let go and let it all out. I understand what you mean about delving deeper and trying to figure out the underlying issues causing this behaviour, but I can't move forward no ,after what I do. Some days I feel like ending my life, I have no hope for the future and I don't feel cared for enough by the ones around me. I think if I go it will be much better and I will be free of everything, I can't let go of the pain.. I agree medication is good but long term I have heard benzodiazepines are very addictive and I refrain most days from taking them as I am scared of becoming tolerant and becoming addicted, As others on this website may agree, I just wish I could wake up one day and feel normal, be normal..... Mahtab xo

Severe anxiety

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 09:39:41 GMT

Originally posted by: David Charles on 7 February 2013

Dear Muhtab, ......."and one day wake up normal"......made me think that if you produce your own Bollywood film then you can be guaranteed of a happy ending, so to speak. I don't think you have to delve too deep - a good hour with a decent counselor can be just the tonic for some anxious people (or film stars). Also, cutting the grass is a great release. There's a lot of attention given to sweaty men and it's a great contrast to you sedentary bank job. Just try anything different. Change your furniture around. Sing in the shower. It'll release brain patterns to challenge and release the angst. Adios, David. PS And if the suicide thoughts persist at least write a bucket list and grab some madness amongst the sadness.

Severe anxiety

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 11:36:12 GMT

Originally posted by: Steph on 7 February 2013

What a terrible situation you are going through, it breaks my heart that people can't enjoy life and live with these mental disorders. I myself have chronic anxiety and also been diagnosed with chronic depression in the past. I honestly think the best thing to do is to go talk to a professional about what you are feeling, don't be ashamed; so many people live with these diseases. I went on medication for anxiety for a couple for months and came off it as the side effects were terrible. I've last 8 months and just last week had a anxiety attack where the ambulance is called. I was trying so hard to be strong, but sometimes you really need help. It's not a sign of weekness, or doesn't change who you are. I'm about to start new medication again tomorrow so wish me luck 🙂

Severe anxiety

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 11:50:37 GMT

Originally posted by: hayley on 7 February 2013

Hi there, I was just reading your post. I am currently teaching a class on anxiety and was interested to know more about it so that I could use information to add to the teaching. I was struck by your mesg and realized how debilitating anxiety can be. What we teach in the classes is that our problems of anxiety, stress, worry and fear are all coming from within our mind therefore the real way to deal with these problems is to use meditation to train out of negative thinking. Often our mind gets stuck on the negative (our imagination often goes into overdrive) until we have fully exaggerated the situation and it causes anxiety and worry. The way to really solve this problem is to use mindfulness and change our way of thinking - make our habit positive thinking. Meditaiton definitely helps so I would highly recommend you try it. Often when we have these problems we think we are alone however if you ask most people you will find that they ALL experience stress, anxiety and worry to some degree. This can help us to understand that we are not the only one that suffers and help us get a better perspective of the situation. Anyway, I really hope everything works out for you. I suffered from depression for a long time and used meditation and Buddhist teachings on controlling the mind to re-train my thinking. I refused to use medication as well but I think it can be helpful in some severe cases. Ultimately though, if we want to stop these problems then we need to re-train our way of thinking. I really hope this helps in some way and don't give up!!! You are not your anxiety and one day you will be free of it ;-) hayley

Severe anxiety

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Fri, 08 Feb 2013 03:46:13 GMT

Originally posted by: mahtab on 8 February 2013

Thank you so much for your replies. David, your response made me laugh. Thankyou, and yes I agree.. I think I need to change my environment also, I have moved interstate away from my family and I think I'm not giving myself time to settle in.. I think I really do need some excitment, i feel like life is such a drone and a problem... Steph, i totally understand what you're going through, and thank you for your understanding. It really is difficult isnt it? and it doesn't help when people around you just don't understand, people at my work, and around me just say "omg, stop thinking so much!" and "you're doing it yourself" (i hate that!!!) Thank you for the support and encouraging me to not feel ashamed, its so hard because I come from a middle eastern background and people judge you so quickly and easily over anything and everything and I'm soo used to being judged and talked about that I have become the type where the smallest thing will get to me and I'll end up in the hospital from axiety it sucks :( I hope things get better for you also, and good luck for your new medication, wish you all the best and thankyou again for writing and helping me see that I'm not the only one out there with this debilitating illness xo Hayley, your classes sound very interesting, it would be so good to check them out and good on you for running them..Yes i agree anxiety is very debilitating, It makes me want to hide away from the world to avoid panicking in public and looking like an idiot..Meditation is a fantastic thing, I like to listen to the sound of waves through youtube or rainfall and that helps me to calm down..I commend you on working through your anxiety and getting through it without the constant use of medication.. it seems to be the easiest way through it..The problem with my case is that I have always had a positive mind but out of nowhere it has struck me, somedays i will think im happy and then suddenely I can't breathe. I don't understand the concept of anxiety and it is driving me crazy!!! It mainly hits me when Im around a bunch of people and it is the strangest feeling, like i am not in my body, i am detached and i am listening to the conversation through someone else or something, i must sound so crazy!! I don't know how to explain it, it makes me want to cry thinking about it, i feel like i am mental or something Thank you for your support and understanding and positive encouragement it really really helps to know i am not alone..I just hope one day with the help of time, medication and positivity everyone can work through this illness xo

Severe anxiety

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Fri, 08 Feb 2013 06:40:49 GMT

Originally posted by: Scotty on 8 February 2013

Hi Mahtab I hear you loud n clear Anxiety is very debilitating, Panic Attacks, Agora. Benzo's are ok really I've been on them for a good 20yrs i think, They get a bad rap like other things, but used properly can help you. I think Addiction Vs Functional you know, if it allows me the drug to get out , well so be it. You can take them PRN like not everyday.... Nocturnal PA are horrible 3am nothing worse than waking up to one of them... Goodluck TC

Severe anxiety

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Fri, 08 Feb 2013 15:38:45 GMT

Originally posted by: Mahtab on 9 February 2013

Hi Scotty, Thank you for your reply. I've never had Benzo's before, are they anti-depressants or calming medication? I totally get what you mean about waking up to panic attacks in the middle of the night, when the whole world is sleeping, and negative thoughts are like "end of the world" thoughts. So horrible 😞 And you just can't calm down no matter what you do. I feel like my jaw will break some nights from how bad my teeth chatter it's scary...

Severe anxiety

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Sat, 09 Feb 2013 02:08:31 GMT

Originally posted by: David Charles on 9 February 2013

Dear Mahtab, What is the important thing ? With regards to getting anxious around friends ? Anyone ? Adios, David.

Severe anxiety

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Sat, 09 Feb 2013 18:32:16 GMT

Originally posted by: geoff on 10 February 2013

dear Mahtab, this has been a good topic to read and very interesting, with some great ideas. David Charles has asked the question ' getting anxious around friends', well there has always been a 'pecking order' and whether it's from a working environment, family or with friends, it maybe out in the open or it maybe hidden, it doesn't really matter because both can cause a lot of damage. The dominant person who always wants to be number one will do anything to achieve their goal, stepping on anyone who steps in their way, and this can be done by making up stories, or to deliberately put something in action which will make sure that someone will fail or embarrass themselves. They will also be the loud one at any function behaving like' Les Patterson' trying to steal the show, criticising or making fun of whom they ever like. All of this then creates social anxiety. Geoff.

Severe anxiety

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Sun, 10 Feb 2013 01:46:30 GMT

Originally posted by: Scotty on 10 February 2013

Hi again Mahtab, well benzo's act a little differently than Anti D..example many long acting ones, do calm you down from a PA. Long as you take as prescribed though, it can really help, mostly short term, or you can take as needed. Anti D is more everyday, all are with some side effects though, but you need to weight up pro's cons, they wont cure you per say of Anxiety, but can help with crisis or to get over a hurdle. The best long term approach is things like CBT/Mindfulness, getting better sleep.. but if your to anxious to put this into practice , this is where i find they can help. Anxiety can get exhausting very, and sometimes you just need to break that cycle..Personally I have found Anti D' not to helpful for myself on the Anxiety front and am looking at a more long term approach like the therapy. There is some things that can help with nocturnal PA like no coffee late, horror movies, managing stress levels better, I find if i don't stay on top of those things they can hit with a vengeance. There is a good website you can get some info on this stuff, if you gooogle...( get self help.co. uk.) TC 🙂

Severe anxiety

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Sun, 10 Feb 2013 01:53:27 GMT

Originally posted by: Mahtab on 10 February 2013

Dear David, to be honest I'm not 100% certain. I have a lot of insecurities about myself, I've been judged my whole life by my parents, relatives, friends, the community, etc and I guess it's become like a second nature, I'm not happy with who I am, the choices iv taken in the past, and where I have ended up today as a person from it. The negative anxious person I become. When I'm in public around friends, I see them and hear their stories and I think why can't I live a life like that why can't I be happy with myself it's not fair I don't get it 😞 I know everyone has problems and there are people worse off than me but I just hate my life, and I hate myself.... Im not a jealous person but around others I feel like I wish I was like them, I wish I had that or this... Thinking about it so much I zone out of the conversation and I feel my throat closing up.... I'm always self conscious even though i am fit, healthy and take care of my appearance, nothing ever makes me feel good and I don't understand it anymore...

Severe anxiety

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Sun, 10 Feb 2013 09:01:13 GMT

Originally posted by: David Charles on 10 February 2013

Dear Mahtab, You are writing to me and others on the Bulletin Board as though we are friends. Your ability to define your anxiety is awesome. Geoff is on the money re: friends and their sometime competitive nature. But if dealing with yourself, friends, the Universe, the Black Hole that astronomists have yet to discover and call "Boris" is becoming an obsession then I beg you to simply be a friend to yourself. The baggage you are carrying is worthy of counselling. Woody Allen still sees his psychiatrist 3 times a week despite a successful film career and publicly dealing with his parents in various celluloid manners. And you know a good Bollywood film trounces a Woody Allen comedy anyday so you have to consider getting some professional help to carry that burden. Your parents and friends probably need to move on too. Or at least treat you like a mature adult. But you have to present yourself in the same manner in which you are responding on this site. We've all been in that dark side. Put it this way, would you like to pay your emotional and mental power bill ? Adios, David. PS Apologies if I am in metaphor city tonight. My new BB responders GPS narrator used to work for lego !

Severe anxiety

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Sun, 10 Feb 2013 09:24:42 GMT

Originally posted by: Stephen on 10 February 2013

Dear mahtab, One thing screams out at me from your postings."I witnessed a murder" this screams PTSD or post traumatic stress disorder at me. I think you should deal with this issue first of all and then maybe your parents separation after that. You must go on the search for a psychiatrist or psychologist that can help you with cbt. You must talk out these experiences and receive good advice on how to deal with issues. There are amazing mental health professionals out there but you. Must go on a journey to find them. The search tool on this website would be a good start. Medicare will cover the cost of seeing mental health professionals. I wish you all the best mahtab. I hope you can find the ability to communicate your trauma and that a good mentalhealthprofessional will put you on the path to good mental health. Please let us know how you go.

Severe anxiety

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Sun, 10 Feb 2013 13:36:58 GMT

Originally posted by: Mahtab on 11 February 2013

Thank you both Geoff and Scotty for writing to me. I agree about the social anxiety topic, but what am I supposed to do? I feel like I am always attracting these people. People that step on me and take advantage because I am too kind and scared to stand up. I don't think it's the fact that they make up stories, I just think I am so unhappy within myself that I am negative about everything with myself and envious of others who don't even know the meaning of anxiety. I have found laughter is a very good medicine, it really is. When I'm around positive people I'm on top of the world. But negativity is always in the back of my head. :( I don't understand this. I don't know if I belong in a crazy house. Scotty, I am very afraid of going on anti-depressant. I have heard the side effects are horrific and especially coming off of them? It's a very sad feeling when you feel like nobody cares about you... One of the worst feelings... I wonder if anti-depressants help you to not care? If this is the case, I will go on them straight away. My problem is I care too much about everything....Always wondering what will my father think if I drop out of uni? What will he think if i quit my job? This is the father that has never helped me in my life. But i still care? its so messed up. i am just afraid, a very frightened 25 year old....that feels like she's 10 years of age and feels like there's no way out but eternal freedom 😞

Severe anxiety

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Mon, 11 Feb 2013 03:05:55 GMT

Originally posted by: Scotty on 11 February 2013

Hi Mahtab what you describe is what many with anxiety feel. Why can't i have that like they do?, no doubt some people get more help than others, maybe inheritance, or good solid support but at the end of the day we have only the cards where dealt with. I don't think comparing ourselves is going to help huh?, Plus things don't always appear as they seem.. I do understand though, struggle is a struggle and it gets damn hard sometimes you just want to throw in the towel..Keep at those thoughts that's the only thing that will help! TC

Severe anxiety

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Mon, 11 Feb 2013 05:30:54 GMT

Originally posted by: David Charles on 11 February 2013

Dear Mahtab, "MY FATHER HAS NEVER HELPED ME IN HIS HOLE LIFE". There's the link with the other phrase picked up "I WITNESSED A MURDER". Both events were things you had no control over or you wanted a better result. Better to have parents that don't judge but are unconditional in their love. You also mention that your fear your father's acceptance of possible uni failure (as an ex). Have you got two fathers ? Or one very passive aggressive one - telling you off for "failure" at uni (although he probably would have a better relationship with you if he just loved you, uni or not). And the other - telling you NOTHING as he "has never helped me in his life" ? That's a lot of conflict in a primary relationship. No wonder you feel a bit trapped and have a constant struggle to maintain relationships. I hope a light bulb goes off in your head when you consider this perception from an equally mentally challenged individual with, again, a father that didn't care much except when he wanted to confuse, corrupt and court martial me. Took me a while to move on - these father types tend to have a better relationship with their grandchildren, second time around and all that. My dad always says "I wished I'd spent more time with David". Now just add !!!!!!! to that sentence for some therapeutic value. Adios, David. PS You are healing many others with your communication about these issues Mahtab. I salute you (not Bollywood style). Ha !

Severe anxiety

Bulletin_Board_Archive — Mon, 11 Feb 2013 13:07:20 GMT

Originally posted by: Mahtab on 12 February 2013

Thank you to all of u who wrote a response to me. The only reason why I present myself like I am friends with everyone on this site I guess is because of my nature and its just who I am... I should really present myself in reality as the strong person I appear to be, but sometimes it's just way too hard. Anyhow, I agree with everyone's perspectives, I do need counselling, I just hope and pray I can find the strength to go forward and admit that I need it and be a friend to myself and assist my future. I just hope I can get these suicidal thoughts out of my mind ASAP :( I am relieved to know I am not alone. Thank you again to you all