topic speechless in Anxiety

speechless

mandy6 — Sat, 24 May 2014 15:08:34 GMT

I think I have social anxiety. I have authority issues (is this a real thing or just a Grey's Anatomy thing?) when someone is my senior I can't have a conversation with them, I know exactly what I'm going to say, but i always back down last minute because I get really stressed. Also if someone says something that I know is wrong I can't correct them even if I know they would want to be corrected, because as I am about to open my mouth my whole body tenses up and I physically can't say anything. I have an irrational fear of looking stupid/ idiotic, I know that I am and that everyone already knows that I am so I wouldn't be revealing anything new at all.

so does anyone have any tips on overcoming anxiety? Is there a way to learn how to talk to people, approach them? be able to ask others for help and help them when needed?

thanks

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Neil_1 — Sun, 25 May 2014 07:03:46 GMT

Hi Mandy

You know, you've provided this post and your last question revealed to me an awful lot. In that you asked 'how can I be able to ask others for help"? At least, that's how I read it - and you know, with this post, you HAVE reached and asked questions - asking for help/assistance/advice. So well done on that.

And with your next part to that - "... and help them when needed?" I see that you've provided 7 posts here - and I have seen you respond to another poster just above this one. So I think even without you realising it, you've done 'just a little bit' of reaching out to others.

Mandy, are you on any medication at all - one of my 3 meds that I'm on is for anxiety - it helps to a degree. I think I'd be hellishly worse without it.

I won't comment more on this, till you're able to get back on this particular med topic.

I believe your self esteem is extremely low as well - because I've read your post and how you've constructed it and it tells me that you are NOT stupid, you are NOT idiotic. You've got serious doubts about how to act in certain situations - and that's a whole lot different to be stupid and idiotic. Also the fact that you have said that you DO pick up when others say things that are wrong says an awful lot to me also. So Mandy, you ARE an intelligent lady as well.

What's needed is to work on your self-belief, confidence and esteem - and yeah, that's great Neil - so much easier to write than to work on it and try to remedy it.

For the record, I know exactly what you say when you say, "Someone says something that you know is wrong, but you can't say something back to correct them".

Hope to hear back from you Mandy,

Kind regards

Neil

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mandy6 — Mon, 26 May 2014 08:52:37 GMT

I disagree with you telling me that I am "NOT stupid". Atm, I'm in high school and am, no question about it, in the bottom 10% of my grade,my failure at the end of the year is surely inevitable!
To answer your question, no, I am not on drugs of any kind.
Also reaching out online is not an issue at all, if anything it is probably the easiest thing i've ever done because my "alter ego" online is not who I am in reality. Maybe w share the same problems, but besides this nothing is the same. Firstly, I don't have to worry about what I say and do because frankly I am never going to knowingly meet anyone who has read my threads. Secondly, it's not hard to write things down, the problem I have is with saying them to people's faces.
I am also a really boring person, and I think this stems from when childhood bullying. When I was little I had no friends and people would talk about me (i acknowledge that I was a really weird child who said and did really strange things) anyhow, because of this I promised myself that I would never talk about people behind their backs (and for the last 10 years I have kept my word) but this makes me so boring, because all people want to listen to is gossip, which I cannot deny is juicy and exciting. You're probably bored reading this right now reading this because there is no gossip in it.
I just want to be interesting, loud, funny, and smart, with lots of friends, and be invited to lots of parties, and do all of the things the majority of teenagers do, but I can't do this in my current state because I only have the "guts" to talk to the other boring people I already know.
tell me the answers to life!!!!!! how can I be normal and social????? How can I not be scared to do anything?????? please it's not fair, life isn't fair and I want to become part of the group of people in which life treats them well. Help me please!!!!

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Neil_1 — Tue, 27 May 2014 06:32:41 GMT

Hi Mandy

Thanx for your response back. You've provided heaps of info and "No, I wasn't bored at all".

I "may" be stupid for saying this (I failed miserably at high school, all those years ago), but I believe failing in school still doesn't decide if a person is stupid. I can clearly see by your writing and the way you really DO express yourself, Mandy you are far from being stupid. Sure you mightn't be performing so well at school - but I still stand by my earlier comment. So if you come back again, I guess it'll be a stand-off where we agree to disagree.

Oh my ... you've asked the answers to life? I'm 49yo and I still don't know. Probably why I post here so often. One of my questions that I ask (as I think so many of us fellow sufferers DO ask is), what is the purpose of life?? And I can't answer that either.

You've expressed an awful lot saying all the things that you want to be like - but you know what, just think about the fact that 1 in 5 people suffer from mental illness. So if you're seeing a gang of say 20 kids, all shouting out, laughing, having a seemingly good time - 5 of those are - hang on, see I told you I wasn't real big at school - I believe it's FOUR of those would be possibly afflicted with something that they are masking from others.

I do bow to you with your penchant for not being a gossip girl - the world would be a far better place if there were more people like you in it.

Also, when I mentioned medications (I meant anti-depressants), I got the feeling you came back at me in thinking I was suggesting "other kinds of tablets" which I wasn't. I was just referring to whether you'd been prescribed any medication for your anxiety.

I'm really struggling to supply any decent kind of answers for you here, especially with regard to your last para. Being normal - well, everyone is different, so what's normal for one person would be completely different for someone else. Social - hmmm, fitting in with others - talking perhaps about a favourite TV show or movie; music you enjoy, perhaps things like that. For me, common ground for me is sport issues.

I'm just about to run out of the words - the counters just about got me beat.

I'll send this and hope to hear back from you again.

Neil

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mandy6 — Tue, 27 May 2014 11:12:34 GMT

You do have a point, and it was naive of me to think that grades determine your level of stupidity (not meant to sound sarcastic), however it does determine your worth within society, and if I fail school I will lose my reputation "the immortal part of myself, and all that remains will be bestial", is there any purpose to life after this?

Also, i understood what you meant about the "medication" I just feel like the the word holds too many positive connotations, and is just a disguise for people trying to sugar coat the reality. The "medications" you refer to are just prescription-drugs and should not have to be called fancy shmancy names in order for people to feel better about taking them (does that even make sense, sometimes I say things that don't make sense).
This may sound very cynical but I believe that statistics have a very large potential to lie or alter the truth, and so only oblige to using them as a guide rather than a factual reference. are you trying to say that the 4 people in the group of 20 should be my friends or sympathise with me just because we all share one thing in common? or are you trying to make me aware of that I am not alone and that other people also have problems so I should therefore not have to feel isolated in dealing with mine? If you answered yes to the later, then I only have one thing to say, and that is -I am a very callous person, and no matter how hard I try to care about other people and their problems I find it impossible to do so. because of this I feel that it would be selfish to request the compassion of others as I can't give in return (I know this is completely irrational which I acknowledge but am unable to do much about it because I am inherently stubborn).
Lastly, the reason that I was a victim of bullying when I was younger was because of my "atypical" interests, I wasn't allowed to buy magazines, listened to music of the 70s and ate tuna for lunch (this may have been an issue unique to my school). because of this I find it hard to talk to people about "a favorite TV show or movie; music you enjoy, or things like that". I then revert to telling people about articles I have read which requires no personal connection but rather an ability to regurgitate other people's facts. But because I have a bad memory my stories are vague and plotless and I am known as having a remarkable ability to dig myself into holes.
Thank-you for the reply it did help because just knowing that someone is there to listen feels good.

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white knight — Tue, 27 May 2014 12:09:45 GMT

Dear Mandy, welcome also.

And Neil isnt the only one reading your posts. Some of us here can be self proclaimed 'misfits'. At least I feel I have been all my life (I'm 58). I could never fit in yo the group of friends I had. I dreamed of the day school would end so I'd fit into the adult world. I joined the military at 17yo.

And how did I fit into the military? The same. The odd one out. And so it went on and on. So where did it ultimately lead me? Well in 2003 in my 40's I found out a number of things. Firstly I had a number of mental illnesses likely inherited from birth, the second was that these were compounded by one parent likely to have BPD.

One illnesses I likely had when young was ADHD. Not the active one but the inattentive one. It explained a number of things like suffering "foot in mouth" saying stupid things, anxiety which also makes you so nervous you do the same etc and on it goes.

As for helping others, I'd put effort into yourself and your own challenges at this time in your life. One day we all hope, you will feel like passing onto others your experiences just like we are here now. These things develop as we mature in life. People change. My wife also reminds me that she has ever only had one friend in life. So you dont need to seek the approval of several so called friends.

Bullying? I've been bullied twice on FB over the last 6 years. I block them and forget them now. They are not worth the empty space in my brain they get rent free.

Good luck

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Neil_1 — Wed, 28 May 2014 04:05:28 GMT

Hi Mandy

Thanx heaps for getting back to me and also great to see White Knight chipping in also. The more heads involved with this, I hope the better it’ll be for you – because you’ll soon come the end of my usefulness quite quickly.

Mandy, I flunked out of high school hellishly bad – in fact, I think I’m too ashamed actually to tell my end result of my Year 12 year, but it was a shocker – but I feel that I’m ‘ok’ in society. Not that I want to have a lot to do with other people all that much – but it’s unavoidable at work or at the shops etc.

But for these things, you just whack your mask on and shut out the real you. A checkout person on a register asks you how you are: so much easier to say “Not bad thanx” instead of “You know what, I’m actually in a place that borders on hell at the moment – I’m lucky to be even here and I feel like shutting down”. And you know, the ol’ “Not bad thanx” is also very true, cause more often than not ‘you’re NOT bad’ – you’re actually worse – much much worse.

I am pleased to read though that this has helped a bit – and you know, we’ll keep listening (or reading, as the case may be) to you for as long as you want to write. We’ll also write you back as well. Just want you to know that.

I loved your break up of the stats bit as well – and you hit it on the head in both of your suggestions – which I was trying to allude that there will be others out there with this (and yes, that’s all fine and they’ll be having to face and deal with their own demons as well) but for you to also know that you aren’t alone. I guess just judging by the amount of responses and threads that are on this website alone is testimony to that.

Again, shall send this off and do hope to hear back from you Mandy.

Kind regards

Neil

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mandy6 — Wed, 28 May 2014 08:12:22 GMT

Are you suggesting that there is no way to fix the problem and that I should just learn to live with it and cope with not coping? Is this not very unproductive? should I just run away from my troubles and try to forget they ever existed? this is not what I want, I want to be able to feel comfortable being around people, I want to be able to accept things for what they are rather than interpreting them to be worse than they intend to be. I want to be able to trust people and then be able to tell them about my problems without worrying about what they'll think of me and see me as afterwards. Is it not too much to ask? (though they seem mysterious and fantastical I see these people around all of the time and they are what I like to think of as the epitome of life: forever carefree and joyous).

I want to break free! People think that I am funny, stupid, too serious, and that I don't care about much, they also think that I don't like having fun, and that I am boring. The best thing ever would just be if I could start afresh, create a new identity for myself which is not constricted by the established view people have of me.

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mandy6 — Wed, 28 May 2014 08:39:30 GMT

Hi again Neal,

your post reply actually made my day. this exchange in particular

"A checkout person on a register asks you how you are: so much easier to say “Not bad thanx” instead of “You know what, I’m actually in a place that borders on hell at the moment – I’m lucky to be even here and I feel like shutting down”. And you know, the ol’ “Not bad thanx” is also very true, cause more often than not ‘you’re NOT bad’ – you’re actually worse – much much worse."
I know it was supposed to be a kind of sad story but it's just so unintentionally funny!

Neal, you've posted a few million replies on here, so I would quite confident in saying that your "usefulness" is quite unlimited. When you say it like that it makes it sound like I am using you -OK, I am using you, but you are probably one of the kindest most supportive people I have come across lately and I feel completely comfortable in sharing all of my problems with you, something I've never done with anyone else (I hate my parents so most of the time I pretend they don't exist). You've actually been able to make me feel much more relaxed and comfortable and happy just through listening to me and giving the perception that you actually care (you also responded to my first thread a few months ago and that was the first time I admitted to myself that I had a problem and you were also very helpful then as well).
I have one last problem which may sound really weird but here it goes; I have some irrational fears such as entering a room which is dark, and getting out of bed in the early morning. I also find it challenging to look up when walking in fear that I might trip even if the ground is flat. over the past few months i have found myself being able to face these fears by saying if they turn out to be true then I will die and not have to face school and the rest of life (opportunity cost right?) I am in no way suicidal, i have just stopped taking as many (unnecessary) precautions to prevent death. Am I extremely weird for thinking this??

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Neil_1 — Wed, 28 May 2014 09:11:02 GMT

Hi Mandy

No no - I wasn't suggesting that there's no way to fix the problem at all - with regard to the mask thing for being in society and being out, I was referring to what I do.

I tell you though - you make a compelling statement when you write. It's well constructed and you obviously have your own ideas and what you want to get across, which is absolutely fantastic. And this is the problem isn't it - to be able to get across how you can operate like now - in typing, and transferring that to when you're in front of others.

That IS a very broad array of opinions that "people" have of you - funny, stupid, serious and that you don't care much. On top of that, no fun and that you're boring. Some of those go hand in hand, but others are the opposite of each other. Which makes me wonder, who "are" these "people" and why are we placing so much emphasis on what these people say?

Mandy, just at this point, I would also like to just ask a different line of things - but not forgetting to address any of the above stuff either.

May I ask what are some of your interests? Do you have any hobbies or do you enjoy sports, what are some of your favourite musicians? Oh and one last one - do you like or enjoy reading?? Just trying to gauge what other avenues we can explore to get things hopefully moving in a direction that is going to be where you'd like to go - towards some positiveness for you.

I'm not going away Mandy - I'm going to stay here with you and try to help out as much as I can. I think White Knight will be chipping back in here as well and possibly others as well.

Kind regards

Neil

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mandy6 — Thu, 29 May 2014 11:58:03 GMT

haha, the second last post was a reply to White Night's comment. sorry White Night I only just read over it, and only now do I realize how aggressive it sounds.

I have finished with ranting and will now go on to address your questions. Ok well I like lots of things, I really enjoy most music, except any scremo, and I avoid anything which has been played on the Fox. I especially like the Hives, the Velvet underground, and all musicals. I play an instrument, and I can do sport but am not really bothered to... yeah I should probably get onto that. I like reading if I have a good book. The last book I read was called "The Prisoner's Dilemma", I recommend it if you feel like reading. I also do things like watch tv and movies, I play with my dogs, I can cook (but only do so when I'm hungry rather than for fun).

thanks for the reply, you have such a reassuring tone which is so comforting in such times of distress.

hope to hear back from you.

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Neil_1 — Thu, 29 May 2014 23:58:44 GMT

Dear Mandy

Thanx again for your most recent posts and especially thank you so much for the really kind words you expressed about me. You may not think it, but it DOES mean a lot – I’m suffering my own troubles, so it’s always really lovely to hear that I’m able to have a positive effect on others.

I am sorry to hear of the poor relationship that you have with your parents – it would make for quite difficult times at home I’d imagine. I do hope there’s no ‘other dramas’ there though – as in I hope you feel safe.

No way are you sounding weird at all. Darkness provides fears for so MANY people - entering a room that is dark – there is nothing irrational about that.

(Quick diversion: I grew up on a farm; one night I had to go out and feed the poddy lambs (lambs without a mother) – they were in the house paddock, about 50 metres or so from the house. I’d finished and I was walking back, when I heard this THUD THUD THUD THUD behind me – I screamed out, dropped the bottles and bolted for the house – flew in and straight under the kitchen table. Mum came out to see what was happening, and in walked my brother (he saw me and decided to jog slowly and very heavily behind me), who’d been down doing his spot of feeding – he was grinning at me and I was, well I was quite beside myself (meaning I’d just about crapped my pants!).

Getting out of bed can be a real chore – because you are cocooned in a very safe place (and at this time of year) a warm place and more so as well if we’re experiencing things in our daily lives that are causing us problems. That’s a very real fear because ‘why’ would we want to get out of something where we feel at least content to then go and take on all the unknowns and issues that we experience each day. You know Mandy, as I’ve just explained that you’ve actually produced a question that will help me assist others with this very same issue – I hadn’t actually broken it down and thought about it this much before, so thank you.

I understand your fear of falling or tripping over something when you’re walking and you are NOT weird or different or anything like that for thinking these things and having these as problems. They exist for you and they are real issues to be dealt with.

I think my word limit is close to breaking point for this reply, so I'll start another for you.

Chat soon

Neil

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white knight — Fri, 30 May 2014 00:22:14 GMT

Dear Mandy,

I think Neil is covering all aspects of your fears and other issues at the moment. Sometimes we reply to posters here and we may or not 'connect' with them. We dont get the full picture from the first post alone. My post wasnt meant to be aggressive at all. But we can all read posts and like Facebook, we dont see the smile nor the concern and it may or may not come out in a reply. I am concerned.

In my case anxiety was a huge issue when a teenager. So much so I wanted to run away from my town, incorrectly thinking my town was the only town like it. That I'd be happy in another town with real friends. Friends I felt so comfortable with that I could talk to them without that lump in my throat. But alas, everywhere I went I had the same issue.

With anxiety I only ever got relief from relaxation techniques and counselling. With counselling I was told that my fears were quite normal and I began to accept a lot of my own thoughts as normal. It was only then that I began to accept myself more.

But its tough. But I got through it. And the anxiety went away eventually. However I now have a safety zone in groups even at 58yo. I had to accept that I would never be the centre of attention nor popular....I'd never be like the rest. But you know, I also know I dont want to be like the rest. The rest think they have close friendships but they are "cafe friends". I have a few real close friends that I can share my troubles and them theirs. And we help each other get through life.

I hope this helps with your anxiety. Regards. WK

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Neil_1 — Fri, 30 May 2014 00:38:05 GMT

I’m back again – to finish off my last message; of which I only really expanded on the problems you raised but with that you’ve actually triggered a lot in my mind with this thread that you’ve got going.

It’s really excellent to hear all these things you’re putting out there – and you know I mean that in the nicest possible way cause if you didn’t have these issues, you’d never have come here in the first place.

That was awesome to read all of the things that hold an interest for you. That’s heaps positive – Hmmmm, The Prisoner’s Dilemma – I must investigate that, cause I do enjoy a good book.

Out of all the sports, which are a couple of your favourites, or one’s that you enjoy to play??

One more question back for you – I won’t do too many more, I promise – otherwise you’ll need to reply with TWO posts of your own. What kinds of dogs do you have?

We have a 9 year old (Jack Russell/Kelpie cross) but he’s very much more kelpie and is black and white in colour and still extremely playful. He’s recently developed a love for the tennis ball size rubber balls that can squeeze and when squeezed they squeak. He goes absolutely nutso with them – it’s so funny.

Again, hope to hear back from you soon

Kind regards

Neil

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mandy6 — Fri, 30 May 2014 13:08:20 GMT

WN,

I agree and this is a problem for me in real life as well as over the web. and I think this is one of the main reasons I find it hard to connect with people. I think this is at the root of most of my problems. because I wasn't able to connect with anyone when I was younger and so I was not able to make friends very easily. as a consequence i did not have any friends or anyone to talk to or who I trusted I was not able to release my stress and the problems built up for years and years until I decided to come onto this site.

Sometimes I feel that I want to run away too, but unlike you I understand that most places would be similar, however it would give me an opportunity to redefine myself, and to become a different person, I would be able to start afresh and if I f***ed it up I could just move on again until I was able to get it right. this is probably just as childish a thought as yours but you know dreaming and imagining a better situation is not is it?

I don't think I will ever be able to accept myself but I have come to terms with this.

also once I begin to get too "close" to people, or they become a friend I begin to push them away as a means of protecting myself because how can they hurt you if they have nothing to hurt?

thanks for the help, I hope to hear back from you

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mandy6 — Fri, 30 May 2014 14:25:13 GMT

hey Neal,

well i really like all sports except netball (which i hate, it even pains me to say the word) and AFL because the ball is a weird shape and it's really hard to kick.

My fave sport is probably badminton, and I like going to the gym as well.

I have an old Labrador and a jack russell, the lab is 13 and just wants to sleep all day, the jack russel is 3 and is so immature, he is always trying to get the lab to play with him.

i also have a pet rock which I forgot to mention, he is somewhere around 40000000 but I only adopted him 10 years ago. his exact birth date is unknown. sometimes he tells me stories about meeting napoleon and being there when Jesus was crucified. (Sarcastic tone) my point being why do you care/ why does it matter to you/ why do you think it's important to know what type of dogs I have?

also there are no other problems at home, I don't like my parents because they are generally unlikeable people, they haven't done anything ever. I think this is one of the main reasons why I don't like them because they don't ever do anything.

hope to hear back from you.

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Neil_1 — Sun, 01 Jun 2014 00:53:14 GMT

Hi Mandy

I hope this post doesn't become too long, it's just that I take an awfully long time to explain things.

You wrote: "Why do I care?" Mandy, you came here seeking advice, help with issues that you have regarding social anxiety and to learn how to approach and talk to others. Over a fair number of posts backwards and forwards, you've learnt a lot about me (and others who have posted) and likewise, we've learnt about you also.

Learning means that we've given up information and likewise you've done the same - and from your very first post, I had flagged you with a CARE sticker (something in my head that I concoct). I wrote back to you because I care about you. You came here seeking advice and support and for that, I am trying to provide that to you with EVERY post that I reply to you. Hence why I'm asking questions of you. I'm trying to find things that are positive for you and that you feel ok in talking about.

I feel that if you can feel ok to talk about them here - to virtual strangers - virtual because we've never met, but on the other side of that coin, we know you well enough on here to care for you and support you, to try to understand and to offer good advice when we can.

But yeah if you can talk here, there might be some little trigger that might make you think, hey, he's/she's right - that IS an ok thing to talk about to someone else I know - and if that happens, well, I'd be over the moon for you, because to me, that would mean success as we've been able to break down something for you that was being an issue for you.

You wrote: "Why does it matter to me?" It matters a hell of a lot - I can go deeper here if you'd like, but I think I answered a great deal of that above.

You wrote: "why is it important to know what type of dogs I have?" Well, you mentioned that you enjoy playing with your dogs - I LOVE dogs myself and I really wanted to know what type of dog you had - with this, I was being nothing more than curious - just to know what kind of dogs you have.

I've got other things to mention about your post, but as you can see, I've taken up a lot of my word count just answering your questions, that I really felt needed to be addressed.

ps: I'm sorry as well if I was coming across too full-on or whatever it might seem for you to ask those questions.

Kind regards

Neil

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white knight — Sun, 01 Jun 2014 01:39:48 GMT

Hi Mandy,

Neil is right, the more you post, the more we get to know you. One of your last comments Mandy was about how your parents "dont do anything". I interpret this in terms of achieving anything.

This is quite a revelation because it shows you have insight and quite a lot of intelligence. Because you know where improvements can be made in life.

Some families go generation after generation with the same issues remaining. To break the cycle is a hard thing to do but if its done then you will better yourself and if you have children you do not inflict them with whatever your own parents had in terms of habits and attitude etc. "Always move forward never backwards" is a saying a friend told me once. There are so many other sayings and quotes around and when I'm feeling down/confused/negative....I search the internet to find quotes to raise my own mood. Its the best self medication of all- self motivation.

I love quotes from the Delai Lama or Churchill or my greatest guide in life Maharaji (Prem Rawat). Maharaji is on youtube and the one about the sunset is amazing. And "the perfect instrument" is like--wow!

We also have a dog. A miniature Fox terrier named Miss Rosie. She eats our food, sleeps at my feet under our doona and goes crazy if we dont take her everywhere we go. She is something that will never hurt us with cruel words, no bullying, no ostracizing, no nastiness. Just like your pet rock. Its hard to find good friends. My wife always says she only has one friend and she only needs one friend. She's right. One day you will find that one friend and you will be ok with them and open up maybe after that friend opens up to you.

In time I can see great things for you Mandy. You are a very good communicator and you know right from wrong.

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geoff — Sun, 01 Jun 2014 02:59:00 GMT

dear Mandy I also find your post to very interesting as I have just caught up with it, but as I get up at 12.01am and go to bed early because of the mediation I have to take, I want to respond back to you tomorrow, sorry but as we get older and because of different medications we take for different illness's this happens to at least me.

Will speak to you tomorrow, sorry. Geoff. x

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mandy6 — Sun, 01 Jun 2014 05:46:53 GMT

Neal,

doesn't it feel odd caring about a complete stranger? Am I obliged to care about you as well? I am not trying to be rude just curious.

also as I have said, the only reason that I am able to write things on this site is because I don't know you and only have to tell you the things about me that I want you to know. the rest is kept hidden and secret and that's the way I like it but in the real life you can't keep things hidden as easily. my facial expression and body language alone reveal a lot about me, things that I don't want people to know because I fear that they'll jump to conclusions about me (their conclusions would probably be on the right track).

also is this not enough, coming to this site and talking to you about my problems? why should I have to talk to real people and make them worry. I know that I have a friend who is depressed and is open about it and people, including me, are more careful around her we don't want to upset her or do anything to make her problems worse. When she says things which are stupid or when she is being rude or annoying people just let it slide because "she is depressed" but I don't want this to happen to me, I don't want my problems to be an excuse for people to treat me differently, knowing that this is how some people react to situations makes me angry!!

You weren't coming across too full full on, I just didn't see the point but now I do.

thanks hope to hear back.