topic Re: Can't get rid of anger in Anxiety

Depressed

JacintaMarie — Fri, 13 Sep 2024 09:49:06 GMT

How are you? Sorry, I'm back & I can't get my mind off of the thought that my management at work is not good.

They're okay. I think I need to leave, but I'm terrible at getting jobs.

Plus too, I'm the only one who thinks our management is not doing a good job! My brain has given up & I don't want to have ideas, as no one likes them & they don't like change.

Most people there think management are the best (I don't say anything, as it wouldn't be professional) , which makes me more lonely as I'm the only one and I feel bad & guilty.

Don't get me wrong, their not bad people, just not good managers, more into the money.

I'm so bad, that I've been wishing for directors or judges or lawyers to tell them what to do.

I can't seem to rid my brain of this thought, to just do my work.

I can't go to HR, as they can't do anything - I'm an awful awful person, for even thinking how hopeless they are - plus too, they act like their doing a wonderful job - so I'm wrong

Thanks for letting me rant - and I am trying to find another job, but it's hard & than I get more depressed, because there's probably more bad management out there & so there's no point in leaving...

I've been doing really great, & now...

On the bright side, it was a nice day today...

I understand why people get depressed at work, but also sad as management are people, but can't see the wood for the trees, that people can't talk to them, to tell the truth. I can now understand how court cases happen because of it, but that's useless as unless people want to change, they won't.

But also too, in the world, there's no hope as bad management stays in organisations- no one cares.

Re: Depressed

Areasontofight — Fri, 13 Sep 2024 13:02:04 GMT

Hi there,

Interestingly, have had a similar situation at work in some ways.
My first observation would be to give yourself a break - they may well be terrible at their jobs, so you may not be wrong in thinking that.

I was taught a long time ago, Directors often run companies as no-one would employ them.

Point being, you are allowed to be critical…it’s actually a good thing, as long as you’re honest (and honest does not mean berating yourself…I too have that trait and I work daily to change that automatic response).

When it’s difficult, the “easiest” path is often the “fight-or-flight”…in reality, if the reason it’s challenging because they are just money driven - on the condition what they are doing is legal - it may again be that question of honesty.

Will the grass really be greener? If so, how? Know what you want from your job - really target getting the job you want, don’t just run (again, been there, done that). Jobs are a 2-way street…get what you want out of it too.

Make sure you take 1 step toward your dream life, every day…it starts with 1 decision every day that is just for you and what YOU want.

Re: Depressed

tranzcrybe — Fri, 13 Sep 2024 14:13:24 GMT

Square peg in a round hole.
It would depend on what your assigned role was within the company, but your concern seems to be around ethics in business.

With evidence, you could become a whistleblower if people are being deceived or mislead. This would ease your conscience but you would still be seeking other employment whether successful or not.

Perhaps if your conviction is strong enough, you could climb through the ranks to challenge business models and reshape its image over several years - a worthy exercise at least to give you purpose to overcome wrong in an industry you would have to be passionate about.

Essentially though, if working there conflicts with your own sentiments on company policy, it could be more beneficial for your sake to withdraw your services and find a profession that more adequately aligns with your ideals.

Sadly, many businesses focus only on turnover, never on customer relations which, under such misguided opportunism, ultimately leads to their demise as a consequence.

For one with such 'radical' views, you should have faith in yourself and start your own enterprise - the world would welcome a refreshing change!

Re: Depressed

Damian — Sun, 15 Sep 2024 00:13:00 GMT

Hi, I know this situation only too well and am currently dealing with court cases. I see it thus: some of us can see the end result of things, while others continually make heaps of mistakes, all the time convinced that they're right about everything. Most people will support them: the crowd mentality. It's a skill, being able to predict the end result or to alert people to mistakes, but a skill that not many people possess and therefore others won't acknowledge or appreciate it. The only way I cope, and it takes a lot of effort, is to stay away from group decisions and try my hardest to focus on things outside the workplace.

If you're on Facebook, there are some good groups for empaths. Some may find this all hocus-pocus, but on the other hand it may help to read comments from like-minded others.

Anyway, I hope there's something helpful or encouraging in all that! You have my best wishes.

Re: Depressed

JacintaMarie — Sun, 15 Sep 2024 03:34:23 GMT

Thanks for that, have been working on myself & it's hard when you've got people saying my feelings are wrong, or to give them a break.

I think I'm being honest - I know their not terrible people, just not very good organising or as a friend told me, they complicate things.

Re: Depressed

JacintaMarie — Sun, 15 Sep 2024 03:37:07 GMT

Thanks for that, I am trying to find another job, as I don't think it's going to better & you can't talk to them, as they're feelings will be hurt.

I've even wondered if one day in future, we'll be just staff & have AI as management.

Re: Depressed

JacintaMarie — Sun, 15 Sep 2024 03:45:54 GMT

Thanks, I am trying to focus on other things outside of work - sometimes it makes me think the department where I work is just crap - I can't see the bigger picture - just the library.

They're not horrible people like Donald Trump, but you also can't tell them they're doing a crap job - their feelings will be hurt & upper management don't see it or don't care - they've got things on or maybe upper management is crap, I don't know!

I don't want to go mad because of stupid people.

It's just my feeling inside, that their not learning from mistakes - I think Aboriginal women are sensitive & can pick up on things (not all, some).

It's hard, as you've got people telling you I'm wrong & they're good, but I guess that's what happens in life, no one does anything & things don't change.

Sometimes I wonder if we'll get AI as management, to take out the power & ego of humans.

Throughout history, leaders are the ones that get humans into trouble, but that'll be 100 years in future.

People just say my mind is wrong, wrong, wrong & look for another job & focus outside of work & retire early

Depressed about work

JacintaMarie — Mon, 28 Oct 2024 10:02:11 GMT

How are you? I'm an awful person, at times I think where I work the people are horrible.

Well management are, but its just my head that's saying this. I can't seem to see anything good in them.

I've tried but my head just thinks their stupid

They are nice - just when their happy, when their stressed their horrible.

My brain is stuffed I think - just stuffed & I've been reading mindfulness & everything to help me, but it doesn't work.

Plus too, I can't talk to management, like a normal person, if I say something wrong, they get offended (though this is my brain that's telling me this)

I'm just horrible- calling them stupid etc.

Re: Depressed about work

Scared — Mon, 28 Oct 2024 10:23:54 GMT

Maybe they are stupid, I dont know them but you have to try and put yourself in their shoes. Management have bosses too and maybe they are stressed out with the job as well. Try to have empathy for the difficult job they do. If you can be more understanding then maybe you wont feel as frustrated. Instead of feeling terrible about thinking bad about them try to feel generous about others have hard lives too and maybe you can start to feel better about yourself as being an understanding empathetic soul. So everyday try to find something great management did and tell them. You will feel better and so would they.

Re: Depressed about work

ABC01 — Thu, 31 Oct 2024 03:45:38 GMT

Dear JacintaMarie,

I don't really know anyone who likes their job. Most people are only there to make money to put a roof over their heads, buy food and petrol ect. It is very rare to find someone who loves their job. Not unheard of, but very rare.

Scared does have a point. Everyone has someone above them and they all have jobs they have to get done. So management is the same.

However, if it is affecting your mental health, you need to make moves about it. It sounds as if you have looked into a few things and haven't found them helpful. But there are many more things out there to try.

Perhaps you may need to connect with a GP, to get a Mental Health Plan and that will connect you to a counselor or psychologist.

You are not stupid or horrible. You are stressed and getting more stressed as time goes on. This is the time where you can start to develop problems, that turn into disorders etc. You have recognized something is not right. So now is the time to act.

I hope you know you are not alone.

We are here on the forum if you have more to say. Usually there is more going on that just one aspect in our lifes.

ABC01

Re: Depressed about work

JacintaMarie — Sun, 03 Nov 2024 11:08:37 GMT

Thanks for that & your words, I feel terrible as I haven't had empathy.

I did end up getting a second screen for my computer, it doesn't work but it will hopefully.

The main thing about them, is that I'm disappointed in them, they seem to be just doing easy work, or just moving staff around. I thought they would be thinking more about the direction of the library.

Or even their bosses, they don't seem to be doing much either, I know stuff takes time, but I've been there for 14 years & nothing has changed, we've just got "old fashioned" technology

But I'll try.

Re: Depressed about work

JacintaMarie — Sun, 03 Nov 2024 11:20:58 GMT

Thanks, yes scared is correct & I've been terrible, not realising they've got bosses & stuff going on outside.

Like I replied to scared, I'm disappointed in them, they haven’t done anything, I thought they'll be thinking of future stuff for the library - like what direction the library will be going.

My mum says it takes time, but 14 years is a long time & I think I'm gonna be there until I retire.

Sometimes I'm the only one who thinks like this, the rest of the staff I think don't care, they just want to get paid & don't care what management do - to them, management is just normal. So, I'm just weird & I feel alone, there's literally no one there who understands or even has ideas, every idea I do say, gets turned down & called stupid. I think my ideas are 10,000 years in future.

I'll try & see something good in them, but deep down inside of me I think it's hopeless

Re: Depressed about work

ABC01 — Mon, 04 Nov 2024 09:00:41 GMT

Dear JacintaMarie,

It sounds like all of this is out of your control. Literally, out of your control. And the problem with trying to control something that you can’t,is just alot of wasted emotional energy. And energy you could invest elsewhere. If they don’t want to hear your ideas today ,let it go. Save them for when they are most needed. Your library might need them one day to save it. It also may not have the money or resources to satisfy one of your ideas either. And I think that maybe more dissatisfying to watch, then get dismissed. A job only half done.

Hopefully you can find good things in your library. I always thought it would be an interesting place to work. And if you see yourself retiring there, perhaps it may pay to try to find those good things and focus on them. Or maybe try to find another position in a different library. I am not sure what type of library that you work in, but do you get to see kids have reading experiences with fairies and such? Can you see young adults studying,maybe being the next doctor one day? Is there a section of books that is your favourite and for a reason that makes you happy? Try to find those specks of glitter to illuminate your working days there. I know it is hard when you are dissatisfied, but keep going and you may just turn a corner. Please be kind to yourself as well. Take a hot chocolate to work with you for the 3pm hump. Aldi make some interesting selections. And sit outside for your breaks. The sunshine,fresh air and scenery can do wonders. Play games with your surroundings to ground yourself,like for every 5 red cars you see, you say a special word. I in particular loved writing letters to my sister in my breaks. And she would write back too in hers. Actual letters on paper and not texts. You could crochet blankets for your local animal shelter or baby organisations. These take days to do. And could be a great use of your time at work. I too would knit and then bring it to work the next day and keep going.
There are alot of options to distract and engage positive emotions into your breaks. It may help you enjoy going to your workplace again.

Don’t be too disheartened at your other colleagues. They may not want to rock the boat. Some people stay quiet to keep their jobs. And others,like you said are only there for a paycheck and don’t care about how it comes to them. It is nice that you care.

It is okay if none of this resonates with you. Your feelings are valid. And heard.

ABC01

Re: Depressed about work

JacintaMarie — Thu, 07 Nov 2024 12:06:23 GMT

Thanks, yes it is a emotional waste - the crying & anger is exhausting & yes, I think it is due to not enough money & resources. I just feel like fool for even thinking it - or I'm 100 years in future & yeah, the other staff don't care maybe & don't want to rock the boat. I work in a law library - its slowly getting there, but it's just the money.

It is exhausting & my brain just keeps on getting angry - plus too, my work colleagues might not see it. They take a while to get it & I think they're not good at change & not flexible.

Sorry

JacintaMarie — Sun, 16 Feb 2025 05:48:41 GMT

How are you? Sorry for coming here again.

I need to talk, I was going okay this morning.

I should be happy, as I got a job & getting paid, but my job, the management doesn't really do anything. We've had no good changes, just staff movements.

It's because of money, we don't have the money to do stuff. I don't know how other places do it.

Getting angry, & have admitted it, which is good. And the type of people they are, they're not proactive people, so they're never going to do it.

But my brain still doesn't get that & I get upset.

I wish I was like the other staff there & who don't give a s*** & just want to be paid.

I don't even have proof that our management is abit hopeless, just my gut feeling. It doesn't help, that they act nice, so it makes me feel worse, they're unproductive, but they're nice.

Having a cry. Am looking for another job, hopefully somewhere where they give a s*** & actually want to work & do some progress & change & evolution

Realized my anger

JacintaMarie — Tue, 18 Feb 2025 11:31:11 GMT

I'm down & sad & couldn't understand my anger, but realised my management has stuffed me around, didn't replace one of our team members, than gave me all their work, brought someone in the job but made it a librarian job.

Than made it into a library technician job, when I guess it should have been a library officer

I've been anxious than angry then depressed & I wonder why

Thanks a job I really did like, that I couldn't do as I was acting, I can't do anymore.

The people are nice though, they say the right words, but their actions are not.

And now, I'm grateful for job, but depressed, when I realize its a mean place, full of mean people & I'm stuck there.

Hello JacintaMarie, Thank you so much for sharing your...

Sophie_M — Wed, 19 Feb 2025 05:48:14 GMT

Hello JacintaMarie,

Thank you so much for sharing your experience with the community - no need to apologise, you are more than welcome here.

This must all feel so confusing for you... it sounds like your heart wants to be a part of something more meaningful and connected? It can be really overwhelming and leave us feeling flat when we aren't working in alignment with what we really desire. Of course, this is hard when we need to pay the bills though, isn't it?

It seems like your emotions are trying to tell you something here. Can you become curious about what this anger is trying to ask you to hear? And from that place, what actions can you take towards making the changes you need to in order to feel good? What is within your control?

It's okay to feel angry and hurt right now, even if people are nice. Taking care of yourself (and also asking for support) will go a long way to help you manage these bigger feelings. Do you have anyone you can turn to outside of work? And what are you doing for yourself to ensure your passions are being met when you aren't working?

A lot of questions - I know! But I think if we start with answering them, we will have a bit more clarity to work with and hopefully we can create a plan moving forward that helps you to feel excited and empowered again!!

Looking forward to your reply. xx

Warm regards,
Sophie M.

Re: Hello JacintaMarie, Thank you so much for sharing your...

JacintaMarie — Fri, 21 Feb 2025 11:02:16 GMT

Hi Sophie M

Thanks, I'm not sure, I think, stupid of me, I thought the library could improve more, have some more online resources & be something .

Yesterday, I showed a website that was really good, & said my hope was the library to be cutting edge, but I got told the library already was.

So, I've been wrong - I didn't think it was. Plus, your kind, some people there, I can't tell ideas - they just "laugh" at them & think I'm crazy & a nut case

Most people there, don't care, I don't have anyone I can talk too. I'm probably boring, as I keep on thinking about new ideas.

Re: Hello JacintaMarie, Thank you so much for sharing your...

JacintaMarie — Sat, 22 Feb 2025 06:05:23 GMT

Hi Sophie, I do writing & doing a paint by numbers & found out on Thursday, I found out from someone that the library is cutting edge - so there's no need to make it better.

I keep on talking & getting people angry.

People outside of work, just tell me I'm basically wrong, I am wrong - I thought our management weren't doing anything, but it turns out there isn't really anything to change.

Nit sure what I'm anger is about, maybe to do something more. But not work in law library - there's no need for change, or perhaps my ideas are just way ahead of what human beings can comprehend. It is hard when to deal with people who have closed minds & not open - there's alot of people there like that.

Hello JacintaMarie, It sounds like you have big and bou...

Sophie_M — Tue, 25 Feb 2025 05:45:03 GMT

Hello JacintaMarie,

It sounds like you have big and bountiful ideas, but they aren't being celebrated like they could be. You are right, it can be really tough being around people who aren't open to new ways of doing and being. It seems rather upsetting for you to be in this position, especially with people being unsupportive... I am very much getting the sense that working on a project outside of work that is just for you and your creative expression could help so much here.

Do you have any ideas? ✨😍

Warm regards,
Sophie M.