topic Re: Scared of change and growing and the future in Anxiety

Scared of change and growing and the future

string_cheese — Fri, 05 Jun 2026 03:43:14 GMT

Hi there, today I am just overwhelmed by thoughts about how uncertainty and risk is going to turn out in the future.

At the moment, I am trying to let go of my control issues and accepting imperfection at work and in love. But while I'm doing that it brings up so many feelings of anger and disappointment and shame and confusion. Sometimes I find it hard to cope with those feelings.

Am I going crazy? What can I do to make it easier? I really need to be able to deal with these feelings because I know in life they are guaranteed.

Re: Scared of change and growing and the future

white knight — Fri, 05 Jun 2026 04:21:17 GMT

Hi, welcome

I have a saying "Worry is non productive unless we refer to stomach ulcers"

So it is reasonable (key word) to think about our daily events and challenges to be better people, improve on our own character and responsibilities. However if we worry about how life will certainly pan out and be prepared for when the tsunami of problems arrive, we'll end up more anxious than we should be.

Anxiety is a serious condition that has to be treated. I began my treatment in 1987 as my anxiety peaked that years and I was 31yo. It took 22 years for me then to realise I'd eliminated my anxiety around 95% of it. So, instead of going through that I have a post on it you can read. https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-how-l-eliminated-it/td-p/183873

Worry is easily connected to anxiety. But here is a post on that topic- https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/worry-worry-worry-part-2/td-p/484665

Your opening sentence includes intrusive thoughts. Here is good reading on that- https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/ocd-and-intrusive-thoughts/td-p/618968

Each one of those links above you only need to read the first page. They could be invaluable.

I hope they help and I'm here daily in case you want to reply

TonyWK

Re: Scared of change and growing and the future

randomxx — Fri, 05 Jun 2026 04:41:12 GMT

Hiya SC.

1stly let me say in your first line there let me tell ya, l'm worried about the same and it's serious stuff my end too.

The rest though, maybe your talking about different things to what l'm thinking but for me, when l was younger l took sooooo many things that really don't matter or are just part of life and people we encounter, wayyyyyy too seriously.

l expected wayyyy too much so then l'd get very in knots or angry strung out and frustrated bc nothing met those expectations or just weren't the way l thought they should be.

As l got older though and started chilling out bit by bit l was also realizing that for one thing, l took myself way way too seriously but 2ndly almost nothing in life or most people either were usually ever even close to what l expected or the way l thought things should be anyway.

l realized for my own peace better l just chill the hell out and more so try to be with people or a life that was something like l expect and like minded, bc the rest will be and do whatever they will or couldn't careless of the same anyway and there wasn't much l could do about it without going insane myself soooo, l had to find some peace.

These days so many things about the world or a lot of people , even Australians and l am one, still disappoint so much or scare the hell out of me if l were to let it all buttt, it will all just go on doing as it will soooo. Even on where mankind and the world is headed, l can't stop it all l can do is try to keep my life somewhere near how l'd like it to be.

Hope that makes some sort of sense

Re: Scared of change and growing and the future

Daydreamer70 — Fri, 05 Jun 2026 08:08:36 GMT

Hi there,

Thank you for writing in. I can relate so much to what you are describing. You are not going crazy I promise you. You sound very self aware and in my experience that can be both a blessing and a curse. I have found the more I think about self acceptance and trying to let go, the harder it gets? Like I expect myself to be perfect at it, just because I am aware of my thought patterns and behaviours. When I observe myself maybe trying to control or experiencing negative feelings, I get frustrated and disappointed because the feelings persist. I have learnt the key to this is to allow yourself to feel it all. SO much easier said than done, but it truely does work. Try to acknowledge your feelings when they come up without telling yourself you "should" or "shouldn't" be feeling a certain way. They just exist sometimes without meaning and that for me makes it easier to cope and detach. The trick is not for them to disappear completely, but more so for them to be able to exist without us latching onto them. Again, like I said this is so much easier in theory than in practice, but it does work, at least a tiny bit.

We are human beings and we are not meant to feel certain about everything. I am in a phase of my life now where there seems to be a lot of moving parts, and I am trying to be okay with that. Objectively nothing changes from day to day, the only thing that shifts sometimes is my perspective. Depending on how I perceive my situation dictates how I feel, so practising this mindset of letting go and finding enjoyment in little moments has been so important.

I hope this helps a bit, I kind of just ranted about myself but maybe something resonated with you and can bring some solace. Do feel free to continue the conversation if you like!

All the best,

Daydreamer.

Re: Scared of change and growing and the future

therising — Fri, 05 Jun 2026 18:42:05 GMT

Hi string_cheese

My heart goes out to you as you feel so many mixed emotions. While one emotion can be simple to work with at times, a whole stack of mixed emotions can really test us in so many ways.

Personally, I find that when I start to do a deep dive into what I need to do to create significant change within myself and my life, a lot of stuff starts to come up. You could say a deep dive disturbs the waters, bringing up all the underlying stuff. I know everything's coming up for a reason, to help facilitate change.

For myself, I've found what helps make a difference comes down to redefining emotions. What am I really feeling? For example,

while I could simply say 'I feel anger', in exploring my anger I've come to see 'anger' as an umbrella term (covering a lot of emotions in their extreme form). I can feel an extreme or angering level of frustration, an angering level of intolerance, an angering level of resentment etc etc. So, the question becomes 'What am I feeling an angering level of and why and how did it get to this level?'. Btw, a bit of frustration, intolerance and resentment feels very different in comparison
while I could say 'I feel disappointment', I've found for there to be dis-appointment there must have been some appointment in the first place. What was the role I appointed myself or I appointed someone else in my life and why can it not be filled under the circumstances? Is the role or are the roles unrealistic? Am I aiming too high, to begin with? When it comes to disappointing myself (from certain roles), how can I possibly fill the roles while forgiving myself as I go through the process of gradually becoming better at filling them? Do I need to acquire new skills to fill them and a greater level of awareness?
while I could say 'I feel shame', I've actually completely eliminated this word from my emotional vocab. It serves no purpose other than sufferance. I'm more so a guilt feeling gal. I actually rely on a sense of guilt when it comes to my emotional compass. A sense of guilt is asking me and pushing me to make highly conscious choices in regard to who I want to be and what direction I need to take to become that person. Shame only tells me how unacceptable I am. It leads me nowhere
while feeling confusion could be seen as a fault or a problem, I've found it's not. A sense of confusion is telling me 'It's time to gain a sense of direction'. The question becomes 'Okay, who or what can offer me a much needed sense of direction?'. Where do I go from here? Which path do I take? What paths are available to me? Do I need some light shed in order for some paths to become clear to me?

I've found all emotions are telling me something or asking something of me. They are all a part of my emotional compass, directing me in some way. With Daydreamer70 mentioning allowing ourself to feel emotions, I've found that actually feeling into them is what gives me a better sense of what they're really about. Learning to feel into certain emotions is what can help with gaining a more intuitive understanding of them. The key to unlocking that ability comes down to redefining emotions in ways that are going to actually serve us.🙂