topic Re: Life changes in Anxiety

Life changes

persimmon — Sat, 21 Mar 2026 22:28:26 GMT

I've wanted 2 things for 2 years. To live in this specific city, and to work at an airport. Three weeks ago I took myself to hospital with dark thoughts, and was diagnosed with OCD and anxiety over a 3 day period. About 2 days after, when I was trying to destress and focus on my mental health, I got a call offering me a job at the airport in this city I wanted to move to.

Within three weeks my whole entire life changed. I had to buy a car, pack my life into 2 suitcases and say goodbye to my whole family.

I feel flat now. I start this job tomorrow, and I can't even be excited or nervous about it. I'm losing money, fast. I can't find the energy to do anything. I have training for my new job to do. But I just lay in bed all day.

I wonder if my timing was wrong. If I should've declined the job and focused on myself first. And part of me really really wants to quit already and sit at home and do nothing.

I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to go tomorrow. I don't want to do anything. I just want to stay at home and eat all day.

Re: Life changes

white knight — Sun, 22 Mar 2026 01:49:10 GMT

Hi, welcome

Sounds like the classic butterflies pre first day at a job plus in a new environment. As one to have over 90 jobs in my life and fifteen professions some of which were training on the job, even after 80 jo0bs the butterflies existed.

So here's my advice- you can attend tomorrow and if you are overwhelmed tell your trainer you are a little nervous. Being up front will help you and them and its very common.

Within a short time you will have income and begin to replenish your bank account. When you are home and lonely walk around the block or get a home hobby so you are distracted from the boredom and new environment. Just sitting in a park watching kids play can be soothing.

This is your opportunity to leap ahead of your past home life and make something of yourself, rarely do people fulfill their employment dreams.

I had an investigation profession in the early 80's, then in the late 1990's wanted to return to it. I soon found out - I now had to run my own business (not employees), but my own equipment (which sort of modern equipment?, do all reports on the computer (no computer in the 80's) put reports on disk and learn new equipment. So that first 3 months was anxiety mountain high. But the effort was worth every moment.

I'm confident you can achieve this new step, when I read your post you seem articulate and capable.

The following could help also-

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/worry-worry-worry/td-p/87808

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-how-l-eliminated-it/td-p/183873

Reply anytime

TonyWK

Re: Life changes

Ggrand — Sun, 22 Mar 2026 04:24:40 GMT

Hello Dear Guest,

I agree with White knight, maybe first day on a new job, your anxiety is working overtime…

Guest, for 2 years you’ve wanted this, this is your dream job and location….believe in yourself and follow your dreams…I know that you will succeed…..

Sending some kind thoughts and a gentle hug 🤗…..please let us know how you’re first day went…(only if you want to)..

Grandy..

Re: Life changes

ViolettaZ — Sun, 22 Mar 2026 06:59:49 GMT

Hi there,

Thank you for opening up and leaving a message.
I can truly relate to what you're saying…
When you first start a job, it often feels overwhelming and not quite natural. However, with time, you'll become more skilled and confident in what you’re doing.

I’ve had a similar experience when I worked in a psychology-related field. I only had academic knowledge and lacked practical experience. My supervisor even questioned whether I was capable of doing the job. I felt very frustrated, went through self-doubt, and even experienced physical symptoms due to the anxiety.

I completely agree with write Knight and Ggrand, the first three months can feel like an extremely stressful mountain to climb. I also recognize that OCD and anxiety can lead to setting very high expectations for yourself, which can sometimes result in procrastination and frustration.

I encourage you to give yourself some time and lower your self-standard a bit.

You will absolutely be able to do it!

Warm regards🤗

ViolettaZ

Re: Life changes

persimmon — Fri, 27 Mar 2026 16:42:05 GMT

Thank you everyone for your words of encouragement. Here's an update.

I arrived at my first day, and I felt like I needed to be sick in the bathroom. I assumed it was nerves and powered on, feeling better by the end of the day.

The next day, I felt the exact same, but again I pushed through.

Yesterday I was sick into my work bag on the drive over. I went home sick. I felt extremely embarrassed for going home sick three days in. I like to build a reputation of being a reliable person. As soon as I got home, I felt better. I didn't start feeling sick until later that night.

Now, it's 3am. I start work at 6am and I'm laying here wide awake. My anxiety is telling me that I'll feel sick again today, that everyone will judge me, that I'm an idiot for thinking I could do all this.

The thing is - I like the job. I like talking to people from all over the world. I think about it and I feel ok about the actual work. But the way it makes me feel - so sick every morning - I associate work with feeling sick enough to throw up. And I don't want to go.

My OCD is heavily linked to my fear of sickness. So now I want to avoid going to work. I want to call in sick so I don't feel sick. I'm so stuck, I'm thinking about quitting because the way I feel even now, when I start in 3 hours, is horrendous and I'm terrified.

Re: Life changes

persimmon — Fri, 27 Mar 2026 22:28:35 GMT

Thank you very much Grandy for your lovely words. My first day was good, but an odd thing has started happening. Every morning before work I will be very sick and throw up. This didn't happen on my days off, just when I was getting ready for work. At first I thought I was very sick, so I called in sick and felt better a few hours later.

Now I suspect this is a way for anxiety to sabotage me. Make me feel sick in the morning so I don't do the thing that's worrying me. Well, it's almost working. I no longer want to go to work. Why would I go when I know I'll feel so sick? I'm not sure how to go about this unfortunately

Re: Life changes

white knight — Sat, 28 Mar 2026 00:15:01 GMT

Its clear to me that your anxiety is so profound medical intervention is needed.

I can suggest that after 40 years of developing my own techniques of treating my anxiety plus guidance would help but in your case professional help is needed.

I mentioned my ideas in links previously.

So the facts you provide and my answers to them now are-

Lack of sleep. this is currently your number one obstruction. It fuels anxiety and is often under estimated as to its effects on us. See your GP about this (very important)
Work communication. If I was your manager I would deeply appreciate when you have a heart to heart admission about your problem. You were selected because you were the best fit for the job. I wouldn't want to lose you. They might even nominate a person to mentor you to care for you for a while.
Relaxation. lots of youtube videos on that.
Physical exercise. Long fast walks will make you fit and help you sleep better
Hobbies. Distract yourself
Deep breathing. Even travelling to work you can do this. 4 seconds to fill lungs fully, wait 4 seconds, 4 seconds breath out fully, 4 seconds breath in fully wait 4 seconds breath out.

If actions like the above are not done regularly and medical help not sought it will result in no change. I know this as ive proven it. You are your best hope for improvement.

Dig deep, you've got this and I'm impressed with your efforts so far.

TonyWK

Re: Life changes

Ggrand — Sat, 28 Mar 2026 10:12:15 GMT

Hello Dear persimmon,

Thank you so much for letting us know how things are going with your job…I am sorry that your anxiety about going to work is making you physically unwell….

It’s good you like your new job and talking to people from around the world….That is one big positive about your job….Are there any more positives about the job you like?…maybe while your waiting to go to work, think on those positives from the day before…Please Dear persimmon, don’t give up on yourself…give yourself some time until a routine has been established for you…and going to your new job is a natural thing to do…Its your dream job, follow your dreams the best you can…

Anxiety as bad as it is can be managed by taking WhiteKnights suggestions of self help/care and reaching out to your Dr for help….

I believe in you Dear persimmon….Please believe in yourself as well…🤗🌈..

My kindest thoughts and care….🤗.

Grandy..

Re: Life changes

AimzP — Sun, 29 Mar 2026 09:09:20 GMT

Hi there

I'm sorry you are going through a tough time. I just wanted to say that I was diagnosed with OCD when I was 12. I'm 31 now and it's worse than ever. I can say confidently that the two times I had to move house in the last 2 years I have been extremely overwhelmed. I think you are probably going through general anxiety and depression due to moving (which is completely normal as moving is one of the most stressful events), and to go through that with newly diagnosed OCD must be extremely difficult.
I would say that maybe chatting with a GP about a short term anti-anxiety medication might be helpful. And then getting a referral to a psychiatrist for other meds, if you have't already done these things.

I would say don't give up if you have wanted this job for so long, but I understand as much as anyone else can that saying that is easier than doing it.
Keep in touch with your family regularly if you are missing them also.
I will keep you in my thoughts.

Re: Life changes

AimzP — Sun, 29 Mar 2026 09:24:23 GMT

Hi Persimmon

I just replied to your original post, however I have just seen this comment.

I just want to let you know if you haven't researched it already about something called morning anxiety. At least that's what I'm calling it. Two separate periods in my life now, (and I also have OCD) I have had this horrible anxiety of a morning, where when I wake up, I just feel like the world is going to end. This has happened both times that I moved house and my OCD got worse, as I mention in my other comment. My heart races, I can't get back to sleep, I cry, I feel nauseous. When I researched this last year I found that when we wake in the morning, we naturally have a surge of cortisol like a fight or flight response, however when we are already stressed, this can feel like anxiety.
I just want to let you know that I am also going through this right now. So I want you to know that every morning when you wake up feeling like that, so do I. I am right there with you.
I know it is one of the worst if not the worst feelings you have ever had.

It is not necessarily to do with your job. Or your new home.

You may need medication to help. I am currently on a medication which is supposed to be 'gold standard' for OCD but I just find it is doing nothing, so I think I will ask my doctor to go back to one of my old SSRI's.

I think you definitely need to chat with a GP about your next options with psychologists and psychiatrists.

It is very difficult to work in this state of mind. I have found that this second time around I am more willing to just push past it as best I can and begin the day, but my god it's hard.
If you're into exercise, I'm certain it would be a good idea to go for a walk or something in the morning when you wake up, as it will probably help to take your mind off it.
Also, my psychiatrist told me last year, deep breathing (diaphragm breathing), helps with anxiety, as it is directly connected to a nerve that is to do with your fight and flight response. Maybe look this up. I am just remembering this now and will also try this in the morning.

Here's hoping you have a good rest tonight.