topic Re: Rusty in Anxiety

Rusty

Rusty — Sun, 15 Feb 2026 03:18:22 GMT

I am dealing with depression, anxiety and loneliness. I am working on connecting with other people and just visited a neighbour and had a nice chat and felt quite good, but I came home and began to feel lonely again. I’m curious to know if anyone has had this happen to them or felt this way and maybe some tips to overcome this?

Loneliness and anxiety

Rusty — Sat, 14 Feb 2026 08:47:18 GMT

After going through a rough 4-6 months going though depression and anxiety I feel I’m slowly getting somewhere.
I’m seeing a counsellor regularly but am struggling to control my anxiety, I’m also feeling quite lonely with the feeling I have no one to talk to on a regular basis.

I’m curious to hear of ways to connect with people and make new friends.

Hi there, It’s really encouraging to hear that after suc...

Sophie_M — Sat, 14 Feb 2026 08:51:12 GMT

Hi there,

It’s really encouraging to hear that after such a tough few months, you’re starting to feel like you’re getting somewhere. That says a lot about the effort you’ve been putting in, especially sticking with counselling even when anxiety is still hanging around.

Loneliness can be such a quiet but heavy companion, can’t it? Especially when you’re doing the work to feel better but still don’t have that regular connection outside of appointments. It makes sense you’d be craving more consistent contact with people.

When it comes to making new connections, sometimes it helps to think less about “making friends” straight away and more about putting yourself in spaces where connection can grow naturally. That might look like joining a class, volunteering, a local walking group, a hobby group, or even online communities centred around an interest you already have. Repeated exposure in the same space often builds familiarity, and familiarity builds comfort.

It can also help to gently challenge the anxiety voice that says you don’t belong or that people won’t be interested. Often that voice is louder than reality. Starting small, like brief chats with the same barista, colleague, or neighbour, can slowly build social confidence without feeling overwhelming.

You’re not alone in this. So many people are quietly looking for connection too. You’ve already taken a brave step by asking the question here. If at any point things start to feel heavier again, you’re always welcome to reach out to Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 or via webchat. And of course, keep talking here. Connection starts in small moments like this.

Kind regards,
Sophie M

Re: Hi there, It’s really encouraging to hear that after suc...

Rusty — Sat, 14 Feb 2026 09:08:29 GMT

Hi Sophe_M

Thanks for your reply. I do find the anxiety voice to be a challenge to push aside but I am slowly getting a hold on it. I do regularly see a counsellor which is helping too.
Thanks for your tips also, some things I have started doing but hearing these thing from some one else gives me confidence to keep doing these things. There are times where I do feel desperate for something as simple as nice chat and of course anxiety sneaks in when I realise I’m not sure of when, where or how that’s going to happen.

Re: Loneliness and anxiety

Doors24 — Sat, 14 Feb 2026 10:09:16 GMT

Hi Rusty,

I know alot of people feel the same way you do,myself included about feeling lonely and needing someone to talk to on a regular basis.

Community or Neighbourhood houses can offer groups like walking to connect with people or taking a class there in an interest of yours, would connect you with people of similar interests. Joining a support group in person may also connect you with others. As you’d have a chance to talk after.

A club (not the dancing kind) in your area can bring you into others orbit. Even a volunteer group would do the same.

I would also suggest being open to being friends with a diverse group of people. Sometimes someone older or younger can open up things you never knew existed.

But having boundaries before you begin a friendship means you are both on equal footing. So you don’t go in too fast or get taken advantage of. Loneliness is hard and if someone pays attention to you, you can want to grasp onto it with both hands. But it needs to be a healthy relationship.

Keep talking here and I am sure your qualities will shine through and lots of people will want to chat.

Doors24

Re: Loneliness and anxiety

Rusty — Sat, 14 Feb 2026 10:26:49 GMT

Hi Doors24

Thanks for you reply. I am certainly on the lookout for things that will get me out making new connections and little things that give me confidence around other people.
I feel part of my situation is not having enough confidence and faith in myself and who I am. This is something that I am looking to work on.
Having started chatting here has definitely already giving me positive ideas to use to move forward and also the things I am doing do work.

Re: Rusty

melodica — Sun, 15 Feb 2026 03:49:27 GMT

Hello,

I experience this often. I can have a good conversation or connection with someone, feel lighter for a while, and then the loneliness returns almost as soon as I'm alone again. It's frustrating because the interaction was genuine and positive, but it doesn't seem to fill the gap for long. I think part of it is that loneliness isn't just about a lack of contact. It's about feeling disconnected even when connections exist. One conversation can remind you what you're missing without fully resolving the deeper sense of isolation.

What's helped me is building small routines that keep me tethered between interactions. I write my thoughts and engage in online communities where I can contribute meaningfully. I try to maintain regular contact with a few people and remind myself that the good feeling is evidence that the connection works for you.

How often are you able to connect with others at the moment, and are there particular times when the loneliness feels most intense?

Re: Rusty

SleepyRain — Sun, 15 Feb 2026 03:57:53 GMT

Hey Rusty,

It's good that you are taking steps to connect with others. I'm no expert, but what works for me personally is to keep myself busy and distract myself from loneliness or whatever is bothering me. Here are some suggestions and things I do myself:

1. Watch a show or a movie - There are so many things on these days, you should be able something you like.

2. Do you have a hobby? If not, try and get started with something that you have always wanted to do.

3. Some sort of physical activity, because our physical health is just as important as our mental one. I personally like to try and walk once a day for 1 hour.

4. Clean - I'm not saying you're messy but I know a lot of people like to clean for some sort of relief, and who is going to complain about having a 'cleaner' space when you aren't feeling to good about things.

Also, don't forget to tell yourself you did well today. Whether it was going out and working on connecting with people or something else. They may not seem like much for some but when you are working on improving yourself, the simple things matter the most and it all adds up in my opinion.

Have a good day

SleepyRain

Re: Rusty

Rusty — Sun, 15 Feb 2026 04:48:42 GMT

Hi Melodica

Although I don’t wish anyone to feel the way I do, it helps to know I’m not alone.

I find visiting my neighbour on the is a better time to meet up. Although I haven’t discussed what I’m going through at the moment, it’s nice to have some face to face connection. I’m in between jobs at the moment so I have started going to a cafe for coffee, not to meet up with up with anyone but just to be in an environment where there are people.

I am in the situation of trying to find thing’s to do and places to go to make new connections and friends.

As for times the loneliness is more intense, well I think it’s more when I spend time relaxing and my mind turns to to thoughts of being with other people.

Thank you for your reply

Re: Rusty

Rusty — Sun, 15 Feb 2026 07:53:42 GMT

Hi SleepyRain

Thanks for the tips. I do find that when my mind isn’t busy or distracted I started to feel lonely.
I am working on adding more and more things to use to help keep my mind distracted from loneliness.

Thank you

Re: Rusty

randomxx — Sun, 15 Feb 2026 09:25:17 GMT

Great stuff your going up for a coffee Rusty, well done. Wish l could do that atm, actually l could up our main town , you've inspired me l shall give it a go as l'm up there all the time anyway.

Do you think it's your situation that's making you depressed or have you always been depressed ?

Hi there melodica. l have the same thing so as nice as it is to have a yarn with someone , sadly yeah as you say it isn't long later before l return to loneliness and depression. For myself l get it, l was married a long time and then later with someone else, l'm use to far more closeness, a partner. Mind you it is still damn nice having some convo out and about or a visit , for sure and does lift spirits for at least awhile.

Hi sleepy rain , some of that's pretty well story of my life atm. l'm recently had to move back to a very small town area, nothing going on at all and l know no one and l'm just living alone.

l find the nights are the worst don't think l've been this low in decades but movies are a saviour for sure and my go to of a night.

Take care friends and good luck Rusty, talk here if it helps there's a lot of us in similar situations, minds.

Re: Rusty

Michy007 — Sun, 15 Feb 2026 10:32:08 GMT

Hi Rusty, I have similar challenges. Difficulty spending 'so much time alone.' Friends rarely seem to show too much care, just caught up in their own lives. Which I understand to a certain point, yet it's hard just feeling locked out. Feeling like I'm last priority on their list sometimes. Even just a simple 'hi, how are you doing?' Yet most don't. They also forget what it's like to be on their own, tough times.
My own thoughts on that, atm- is to just try to find things I'm interested, and just get involved elsewhere. Could be anything- join library, book club, joggin group. I've had struggles with that, as I just didn't feel interested in much (ie. been there, done that). Yet I'm finally getting more ideas, have already started- joining walking group outing. Great when there's nice people, and there usually are. I am also looking for work, never enough hrs in my job. It's been disappointing, yet time to move on.
I hope the replies have helped- I've not read all of them. Having people to listen, people who careh, is a great thing. And so is being able to talk, express oneself. I hope all goes well
Reality is,

Re: Loneliness and anxiety

Ben22 — Mon, 16 Feb 2026 00:57:04 GMT

Hi Rusty, I also feel depressed and alone. I love spending time with friends but have lost contact with all of them due to life and moving. I find it exhausting talking to new people and putting myself out there.

I'm going to the doctors this week to get a referral for a Therapist so I can work on my issues.

I've also started a facebook group for people with the same interests as me and have had 20 people join so far, I am hoping we can connect in person and maybe build some close relationships over time. Fingers crossed.

Lonely and loveless

Rusty — Mon, 16 Feb 2026 03:51:08 GMT

Although struggling through depression, loneliness and anxiety I feel I’m slowly making head way and having discussions here has been very helpful.

As I delve deeper into myself I realise that it’s not just a feeling of connection with other people but a feeling of being loved. I feel it is in some way holding me back from making connections, friends and even something more special.
I not really how to approach dealing with this, if anyone has experienced this kind of loneliness and the desire to feel love it would be nice to hear from you.

cheers

Re: Lonely and loveless

Daydreamer70 — Mon, 16 Feb 2026 04:11:45 GMT

Hi rusty,

Thank you for writing in and I am so glad to hear you find this space to be helpful. Its very special to know there is a place you can come to and feel accepted and seen. With the kind of loneliness you are describing, i understand 100% how you are feeling and it is something I myself struggle with a lot as well. It is completely normal to have this desire for wanting to be loved, and I think for me anyway the anxiety comes from me feeling like the love towards me does not exist. Logically i know this is not true, but when the anxious mind is so loud it can be difficult to hear reason.

I think the thing that has helped me the most in this feeling is working on showing love towards myself, and making myself a priority. In doing this, I show myself that I do matter and that I am not alone because I have me. Then when it comes to making new connections, the fear around receiving or showing love eases, because you already know how it feels to receive it from yourself. Trust that people are good and want to show you love!

I hope this helps. I am still figuring it out myself, but there is also so much beauty in this learning process!

Kind regards,

Daydreamer70

Re: Lonely and loveless

Rusty — Mon, 16 Feb 2026 04:37:59 GMT

Hi Daydreamer70

Thanks for your reply. It does feel overwhelming when the voice in my head says I don’t feel loved. I have heard that self love is a good start. I know doing things that I enjoy and give me satisfaction about myself and abilities etc but there are times when the understanding of self love feels some what beyond me.

thanks again for the chat

Re: Lonely and loveless

ViolettaZ — Mon, 16 Feb 2026 06:36:04 GMT

Hi there,

As someone in my mid-twenties, I too experience feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and the desire to be loved. Wanting love is natural, it’s part of being human. However, I’ve learned that this desire can sometimes evolve into a search for external validation. When we focus too much on this, it often leads to disappointment, because we can't control or predict how others think or act.

One of the best ways to ease loneliness and anxiety is to invest in yourself. By working on becoming the best version of yourself, you’ll naturally start to love yourself more. For example, I started doing Pilates last year, and over time, I’ve noticed my muscles growing, my body toning up, and my confidence rising. After each workout, I treat myself to something I enjoy, like a favorite meal, and in those moments, I feel genuinely happy because I’ve honored my own needs. And naturally, I’ve found that I no longer mind being alone as much, and my anxiety has gradually disappeared.

Another key tip is to take action, no matter what it is. Only through action do we see results. As you begin to achieve things, even small victories, you’ll feel proud of yourself. Your confidence will grow, and gradually, your anxiety will lessen.

Apologies if this isn't very well-organized, as I am still figuring it out myself. I hope my message can be helpful to you.

Warm regards🤗

ViolettaZ

Re: Lonely and loveless

Rusty — Mon, 16 Feb 2026 06:55:09 GMT

Hi Violettaz

Thank you for your reply, your advice is very helpful. Although it takes time, it’s the little victories and small things that I need to focus on and take pride in.

I hope your journey goes well.
Thank you

Re: Loneliness and anxiety

Rusty — Mon, 16 Feb 2026 10:19:02 GMT

I definitely find it exhausting getting myself out there too. It’s great that you have decided to see a therapist, I also see a counsellor and it does help. I also like the idea of Facebook groups that involve things your interested in. I didn’t actually think of that so thank you for sharing the idea.

I hope it works out, I would be keen to hear how it all goes for you

Re: Loneliness and anxiety

Rusty — Mon, 16 Feb 2026 12:20:40 GMT

I hope you don’t mind me asking about your Facebook group. I actually plucked up the courage to start a Facebook group for something I’m interested in and I was wondering if you had Andy ideas in a good way to get people joining the group?

Please don’t feel any pressure to answer, just curious if you have any advice.

cheers