I am a mess.

Guest_05554629 — Wed, 26 Mar 2025 16:57:42 GMT

I am a mess.

I am a stay at home with a teenager and a ten year old and due to my family struggling saving money I decided that this would be the year that I returned to office work.

I have worked as a cleaner ever since I left to become a stay at home mum and it is great as I am all by myself. I have also worked at three other places casually but never stuck with them as I always found a reason to leave.

I found a great job with a great boss and was offered a role, I rearranged my entire life, kids extra curricular activities, everything to accommodate this and ever since I said yes I have been having constant panic attacks.

Like full on crying panic attacks.

I came to realise that I am not emotionally ready to be away from my kids even though they don't need me anymore.

So in the middle of my attack I sent an email off and said I no longer could take the position.

I feel much better now, but I am wracked with guilt as my poor partner is left, once again working to support his kids and flake of a wife.

I guess I am not looking for anyone to say anything. I just needed to get this all out.

My mum thinks I need to see a doctor and get some help.

The thing is I am actually ok 90% of the time. Just the idea of full time work where I cannot drop off and pick up my kids brings me to panic.

Maybe I do need professional help.

Re: I am a mess.

white knight — Wed, 26 Mar 2025 23:26:37 GMT

Hi, welcome

Getting things off your chest is great so I wont crowd you with too much of a reply.

Yes, professional help is worthwhile and it can be no big deal if you approach it with a casual manner. Simple counselling could be beneficial so a chat to your GP is recommended.

Our partners might need us one day to nurse them, this is one reason why we have them. So your guilt is a little all over the place.

Guilt and worry are two things that dont assist us to cope with life. Below is some links. You only need to read the first post of each.

I hope that helps.

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/worry-worry-worry/td-p/87808

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/guilt-the-tormentor/td-p/321604

IT'S OK

It's always ok to not be normal or like the others

its also ok to carry one another

just at this time you might feel you are smothered

It's ok to be... just a very good mother...

TonyWK

topic I am a mess. in Anxiety

I am a mess.

Re: I am a mess.