Undiagnosed Anxiety

Eurovision_Fan — Mon, 17 Mar 2025 10:00:31 GMT

Hi. This discussion is for anyone who either can't or doesn't want to get diagnosed for anxiety, but is pretty sure they have it.

Re: Undiagnosed Anxiety

Eurovision_Fan — Mon, 17 Mar 2025 10:14:06 GMT

I am a minor who struggles with overwhelming fear of so many things. I suspect that this is due to the constant pressure from my father to be perfect, but my fear and worrying is taking over my life. My father would never even consider going to a psychologist, but that doesn't matter because I am too scared of him to talk about anything meaningful. He would say I am being dramatic or that I need to toughen up, but I am really struggling. Can someone give me advice on how to stop letting my worries stop me from living life?

Re: Undiagnosed Anxiety

blondguy — Mon, 17 Mar 2025 11:11:00 GMT

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forum family and thankyou for the excellent thread topic too Eurovision_Fan!

I understand when you mentioned the perfection issues. A parent may be trying their hardest, yet not understanding that their insistence on perfection isnt helpful to the development of their son/daughter despite their best intentions.

There are many super caring people on the forums that can be here for you. I am only one on them. May I ask if you are sleeping reasonably well?

My kindest always

Paul

Online Volunteer

Re: Undiagnosed Anxiety

therising — Thu, 20 Mar 2025 16:15:16 GMT

Hi Eurovision_Fan

I'm wondering whether there are any adults in your life who you can talk to in meaningful ways. Perhaps another parent, a friend's parent, an uncle or aunt or someone else who comes to mind. Perhaps one of your teachers at school who you trust. Good idea coming here btw. A good start.

No matter how old we are, if there's a need for guidance (a need we can feel), it's important to find the right guide for the job. It was only last year that I asked my brother how he manages pressure, stress and anxiety. His response, based on his own experience, 'Establish certainty wherever you can'. I'm 54 and still I need guidance in life in some ways, especially when it comes to the tougher challenges. My brother would never say 'You just need to toughen up' or 'You just need to get on with life' or anything like that because he knows that doesn't offer any form of great guidance and it's a basic answer, as opposed to a really good one.

Being a parent myself (a mum), I know that leading my kids to do their best is good for them. Leading them to achieve nothing but perfection would be stressful and unrealistic in a lot of cases. While my kids and I can be a natural at some things, there are other things we're far from being a natural at and far from being perfect at. This means we're going to struggle in some ways.

When I think of my brother's advice, I could say

While we're maybe not naturally good at studying, like other people are, we can still establish certainty. We can make certain of creating good study habits with the help of someone who can give us tips on how to study well. We can make certain to find good study guides, as opposed to bad ones. In secondary school, I employed a student organiser to help my son and a couple of tutors to help my daughter. All were brilliant guides
While we may struggle greatly playing a sport we naturally detest, are not naturally good at (like other people are) and wish we didn't have to play, we can establish certainty. We can make certain we change to a sport we absolutely love or have a good chance at playing well
While we may struggle in life with challenges we're not naturals at rising to (especially challenges we've never faced before), we can make certain that we rise to those challenges based on the guides we choose to help raise us

If there's one thing I know for certain, it's that some people in my life are not good guides at all for me and some people are brilliant guides (like my older brother). Another thing I'm certain of is...I will always speak to brilliant guides, not ones who tell me to 'toughen up' or tell me 'I'm being dramatic' when in fact I'm really suffering. Btw, I'd much prefer to learn how to be fearless, rather than learn how to 'toughen up'. A sensitive person who has the ability to sense or feel so much, including sensing fearlessness, is better off when compared to a person who's toughened up so much that they can feel for anyone. 😊

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