topic Re: Struggling to cope in a high pressure work environment in Anxiety

Struggling to cope in a high pressure work environment

mchops — Mon, 11 Nov 2024 07:15:08 GMT

Hi guys,

Has anyone here worked in a high stress environment, particularly in an office environment? I kindly ask of your advice on my experience at my new job which has been giving me stress and anxiety. Some key issues:

I was not provided any handover notes from my predecessor and am still figuring out the job, but I face multiple projects and feel like I’m sinking and constantly stressed from the pressure and high expectations right off the bat.
My director is a huge micromanager and nothing is ever good enough even tho I try my best. Numerous nit picking every day, including how I organise my desk. I do accept that my work isn’t up to scratch yet as I’m still learning about what he likes. But review rounds/approvals for my work happen in 50 pieces rather than organised sessions, which I’ve spoken up about. He is very strict. Incredibly difficult to please him. This is experienced by different departments too, including getting criticised multiple times a day for things not in our control.
Context: this is a small 20 person company. I only have myself and an assistant from Phillipines who isn’t that skilled and constantly have to spell out tasks to her and check for mistakes. I have had tl resort to use freelancers in my next project to produce high quality work. This company has a 1 year turn over and I’m starting to see why. Also we are always being watched through security cameras. Got in trouble today for venting to my coworker because I was so stressed out.
Health impacts: I’ve been here a month and I’ve been getting IBS during weeks of peak stress, losing sleep from stress, and am angry or anxious most days. I’m under so much pressure from high expectations and lack of available resources (starting from scratch) but not given time to deal with these start up issues. I’ve never worked at a place that has an issue with everything. Feels like 10 new problems every day.
My next steps: I plan to give this place a chance until end of 2024 (so end of my probation) but I cannot continue after this if things don’t change bc I feel my mental health deteriorating. Everything feels like my fault and expectations are that of a multi million dollar company so how can I ever reach that. I’m only human and basically a one man band.

Thank you for reading this, sorry for long message.

Re: Struggling to cope in a high pressure work environment

ABC01 — Mon, 11 Nov 2024 10:56:38 GMT

Dear mchops,

I have had a similar experience to yours and in the end my mental health suffered. I had to leave. If your mental health is your priority,then your next step may be for the better.

By all accounts it sounds very difficult and overwhelming.

I hope you find your way,

ABC01

Re: Struggling to cope in a high pressure work environment

therising — Wed, 13 Nov 2024 06:20:24 GMT

Hi mchops

I think some jobs and/or managers can definitely lead us to find our tipping point or breaking point. Sounds like you can feel the scales tipping on a daily basis into stress, with so many factors that plenty of people would find seriously triggering.

A job is certainly worth questioning if next level stress or dis-ease is beginning to manifest in physical ways. When our body is beginning to feel the dis-ease in a number of ways (gut issues, blood pressure issues, neck/muscle tension, nausea etc), some common coinciding statements can sound like 'I've had a gut full of this job/manager', 'I can't stand the pressure any longer', 'My boss is a pain in the neck' or 'This job/manager is making me sick'. When you throw the word because into 'I'm sick of this job/person', the statement becomes 'I'm sick because of this job/person'.

If you want to stay in the job 'til the end of the year, I suppose you could look at things as being a test. Then the question becomes 'What do I want to test myself on?'. Do you want to test your self on seeing how assertive you can become with this manager? Do you want to push yourself to assert what you will and won't tolerate from him, while voicing your intolerance in constructive ways (setting clear boundaries)? Do you want to test yourself in seeing how demanding you can become? Could sound something along the lines of 'If you want this result, I need these resources...'. Do you want to test yourself when it comes to establishing your own guidelines, practical ones (as opposed to unrealistic ones set out by a completely unrealistic manager)? Could part of your test involve developing new ways of managing your nervous system, while coming to better understand how it works?

Of course, at the end of the day it's entirely up to you whether staying there is worth it and whether you want to test yourself in certain ways. Trading our sanity for a job that's gradually chipping away at it bit by bit is not a good trade. And if we're giving our time to a manager who is going to eventually take us to the brink of poor mental and physical health, it's not a healthy relationship or the best use of our time. Your time and good health are valuable and there are plenty of bosses out there who can fully appreciate that (as opposed to one boss who can't). Btw, I imagine that if you were to meet up with some people who filled your role before you, they'd possibly say 'I can't believe you lasted as long as you did. I just couldn't tolerate it. I had to leave'.

Re: Struggling to cope in a high pressure work environment

mchops — Thu, 14 Nov 2024 06:50:31 GMT

Thank you for your reply. I’m sure of my decision now. Many thanks.

Re: Struggling to cope in a high pressure work environment

mchops — Thu, 14 Nov 2024 06:59:36 GMT

Thank you for taking time to reply to me. You really hit the nail on the head with “ 'I'm sick because this job/person'.” That is very profound to me and it’s a scary reality to be in.

I think I will test myself with the next project just to see if this is a reoccurring behaviour by the manager. For context I failed my first project being just over a month into the new job and hence all this lack of patience by the manager who wants to pressure me into the rate of growth he prefers and therefore produce the high results he expects (despite knowing this is my first managerial role). I think he is delusional to expect such, because nobody in my role had lasted which he himself had admitted. He is clearly the common denominator; he just can’t see it.

Re: Struggling to cope in a high pressure work environment

Flowergirl97 — Thu, 14 Nov 2024 12:16:47 GMT

It seems like other people have already given you good advice and you’re obviously aware of the potential risk to your mental health of staying because the workplace might continue to be toxic. You might not appreciate my bluntness but I have the opinion (and it is just my opinion- doesn’t mean it’s totally true in all cases) that managers don’t change. You can always improve at your job but your manager won’t change. I sincerely wish you luck and encourage you to stick with it if the job is what you really want to do. But you’ll be walking on egg shells around your manager the whole time until you find a workplace that treats you better and when you do, for your own sake, don’t hesitate to leave one bit. 🙂

Re: Struggling to cope in a high pressure work environment

Jani — Fri, 15 Nov 2024 05:02:29 GMT

Hi, yes I was in a high stress environment and the expectations were too high, the job description was too different from what I was told during the interview process and the job ad itself. The pressure to deliver on day 1 was too much for me to handle, that I literally didn't sleep for 3 nights. On the 4th day, I emailed the resignation letter and spoke with my manager in the morning, so by 10 am I was out and so much relieved.
Mental health is the priority. If you're suffering because of work, I strongly suggest to leave if you and your superior cannot come to terms with a good setup. I knew on day 1 that that work was not for me. It's a good paying job but it's just not worth it for me.

Re: Struggling to cope in a high pressure work environment

AnonymousZG — Sat, 04 Jan 2025 11:41:48 GMT

Hi Mchops,

Sounds like time for another job?

Re: Struggling to cope in a high pressure work environment

AnonymousZG — Sat, 04 Jan 2025 11:43:21 GMT

Hi TheRising,

What if the boss threatens with the job reference?

Is there anything that could be done other than quitting in this scenario?

Thanks

Re: Struggling to cope in a high pressure work environment

therising — Sat, 04 Jan 2025 12:04:36 GMT

Hi mchops

Checking in to see how you are and whether you've felt any sense of progress in the job or with your boss. Hoping you've found a greater sense of ease in many ways.

Re: Struggling to cope in a high pressure work environment

therising — Sat, 04 Jan 2025 12:17:38 GMT

If the boss threatens with the job reference, if there's anyone else in the company in a senior position then they'd be the 'go to' person for a reference (if that's possible).

Focusing on a sense of self development could be another way to go. How do we want to develop in a job to be a more assertive person? How do we want to develop in the way of managing our nervous system? How do we want to develop when it comes to how to manage people and speak to them? In some ways, I've found I've developed in my job through a sense of intolerance and in some cases anger (relating to a sense of injustice). Never in a million years would I have thought at one point of confidently speaking to one of the managers in my work place the way in which I did a couple of weeks back. I made it perfectly clear, while keeping my calm and making valid points, that the standards placed on another co-worker were inconsiderate. Feeling deeply for that co-worker is what motivated me. I felt angry for them. I've spent decades being a people pleaser, so this was actually quite challenging in some ways. A great sense of injustice is typically something that triggers me to action. I've found anger (when managed well) can be a positive driving or motivating force.

Re: Struggling to cope in a high pressure work environment

mchops — Sun, 05 Jan 2025 05:21:11 GMT

Hi therising,

Thank you for following up it’s very kind of you. I was ultimately let go before Christmas and it’s been an awkward time to look for a new job over this holiday period. I stopped thinking about that workplace in less than 2 weeks so that’s good.

However, the negative effect on my career right now is that I’m not even sure I want to continue in this career. It’s so hard to find a job in it because the good jobs are rare and it’s extremely competitive (I work in marketing), plus extremely demanding in certain hard skills that uni students tend to not have. Some of my friends from the same industry have switched careers. Personally I feel like doing something else but have no idea. I don’t like to think that the role has jeopardised my career and motivation, but I want to stay realistic about the current job market. Then again, the new year has just begun and maybe the jobs are yet to come?

So I am at a crossroad as you can see. I’d love to hear if you or anyone else has reached this point in their career where they want to switch or just feel stuck, and how did you manage?

Re: Struggling to cope in a high pressure work environment

AnonymousZG — Sun, 05 Jan 2025 10:27:29 GMT

Hi therising,

I tried talking to my bosses boss and also no reply from her. If that is the case, is there anything else I could do? Should I try to contact HR? I'm not sure.

You made a good point about how to become more assertive - how did you become it? Also to set boundaries?

Re: Struggling to cope in a high pressure work environment

AnonymousZG — Sun, 05 Jan 2025 10:31:16 GMT

Hi mchops,

I am in a similar boat to you except I am in accounting. I didn't get let go but I quit before Christmas and yeah there is no jobs out there until at least end of Jan the recruiters tell me. Seriously, even if you weren't let go, you would probably end up quitting, so take it as a blessing as the break is a much needed break to recharge and regain confidence before starting the next role.

I'm lost as to what kind of job I want. I am scared from the last experience - similar to you, there was no handover, I was dump shit and there is endless politics. I want a good supportive boss and it is just so hard to find these days. I don't think it relates to which industry we are in but more luck.