topic Re: Resigned from job due to return of anxiety in Anxiety

Resigned from job due to return of anxiety

sax_11 — Sun, 18 Feb 2024 08:35:02 GMT

Hello, I recently resigned from my job of 18 months due to my anxiety raising its ugly head from the stress that was placed on me in this job. I was completely burnt out in September last year and had a minor breakdown. I probably should have quit then and there but I managed to pick myself up and carry on. Now I've got to February and I've had to see my doctor a couple of times since the start of the year due to issues with my health, all of which have been put down to stress/anxiety. Plus it is now affecting my home life. This made me decide to leave my job. My family tells me to take some time and get mentally well before jumping back into work. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Any help/advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

Re: Resigned from job due to return of anxiety

Aussie.Girl — Mon, 19 Feb 2024 00:05:00 GMT

Hi, I'm not sure how much help this will be but I was in a very similar situation to you at the end of last year. My job was making me burnt out and stressed and I realised I really should have left sooner (I started thinking about leaving a year prior). I did end up resigning in Dec though.

At first I worried whether I had made the right choice, but now I more confident that leaving was the right decision.

As long as you have some way to support yourself (whether that be assistance from your parents or using your savings), I think that leaving your job and taking some time to decompress and figure out what it is your really want will be beneficial to you.

I hope everything works out for you and you are able to reduce your anxiety.

Re: Resigned from job due to return of anxiety

sax_11 — Mon, 19 Feb 2024 07:52:12 GMT

Thanks for your support. It's nice to hear others experiences with this. Just to know I'm not alone is very comforting.

Re: Resigned from job due to return of anxiety

Richju — Tue, 20 Feb 2024 02:39:32 GMT

Dear sax_11,

Thank you for your post and I agree with Aussie.Girl that you need to have a break from work. Burnout is serious and I found that plenty of sleep, fresh air and exercise returned me to good health and taught me how to care for myself. It took a while and I was stretched financially but it was well worth it.

You say that the work was stressful and I'm wondering if you managed to give yourself regular breaks when at work and to enjoy rest and relaxation on the weekend? When recuperating from burnout, I realised that I was given little appreciation for working so hard and much dislike from my co-workers when I became anxious and depressed.

I found learning to meditate was beneficial while recuperating and has continued to be helpful in all areas of my life. Smiling Mind can be accessed on the Internet, if this is something you would like to try.

I hope this has been helpful and wish you plenty of healing relaxation.

Big hugs,

Richju xxxx

Re: Resigned from job due to return of anxiety

HelloTea — Wed, 21 Feb 2024 00:22:45 GMT

Hi 🙂

I'm sorry you're feeling this way.

I have had to resign from a job due to my anxiety. At the time, I was very upset and mad at myself but, I have come to learn that people will thrive in certain environments. While I was comforted by the people I used to work with, the content of the job was not suited to me. I needed more stimulating work.

I am now in a job that I love, it's my happy place, I occasionally can have some anxiety about going to work still, but after I took some time after resigning to work on not letting my anxiety be as powerful in brain, I have more good days than bad days with anxiety+work.

It is okay to take time to look after yourself. You can spend that time learning about things that bring you joy.

Take care

Re: Resigned from job due to return of anxiety

sax_11 — Thu, 22 Feb 2024 11:07:27 GMT

Hello Richju,

Thank you for your kind words.

I utilise my breaks at work and have always tried to do other things on a weekend to take my mind away from work. The people I work for treat us like robots and just keep pushing and pushing for more work to be completed when it just isn't physically/mentally possible. It's a really mentally taxing job and I am one of the best workers but receive zero credit for it and that makes it hard.

I will certainly look at suggestions you've made and I appreciate you taking the time to give me your advice.

Big hugs back to you xxxx

Re: Resigned from job due to return of anxiety

sax_11 — Thu, 22 Feb 2024 11:11:15 GMT

Hello T,

Thank you for your support.

I also feel mad at myself for letting my anxiety win but you're right, my current work environment is not allowing me to thrive. I feel like it's swallowing me up and spitting me out. I'm so wrung out from it each day that it's affecting other areas of my life.

I do plan on taking some time to look after myself and hopefully I'll find what I need to pick myself up and keep going.

Thanks, take care xx

Re: Resigned from job due to return of anxiety

HappySheep — Fri, 23 Feb 2024 01:14:56 GMT

Hello sax_11,

Good call! You're a faster learner than I am. I'm currently in a very similar situation to you - except I have let it go on and on until I recently had a full-on blow-out. I'm currently on sick leave but having Anxiety attacks even driving on the highway that leads to my work.

You initially asked whether it would be good to take time before getting another job. Intellectually I know the answer is 'yes'. Get well first or you will just burn out again. Just as intellectually I know that I need to resign immediately or I will not start to really get well with the thought of going back to work hanging over me. For myself, I am concerned about being unemployed and concerned this will cause my Anxiety to sky-rocket. I don't know your situation but this is not a realistic fear in my case - I have months of holiday leave I'll be paid out - but I know that unemployment will also be a trigger for me. (and I realise how ridiculous this sounds after reading what I've just typed, but Anxiety is not linked to reality, is it!)

So, with the caveats: will you be financially ok? and will you be ok while unemployed? yes, yes, you are doing the right thing to take time to heal.

Again, one last caveat: the longer a person is off work due to injury/illness, the harder it is to go back to work. Take the time to heal but don't leave it so long that going to work becomes a trigger.

Don't be angry with yourself; you're not letting your Anxiety win. If you have a broken foot, you need to stop walking on it until it has healed - it's not letting the broken bone win to put plaster on it. Work should not be affecting other areas of your life.

Take care, HS.

Re: Resigned from job due to return of anxiety

Lyn_Dog — Sat, 24 Feb 2024 11:54:26 GMT

Hi sax_11 yes been in a similar situation. Resigned from my childcare job after six years. Working during COVID, stress, anxiety and burnout resulted in me taking 5 months off work. I should have left much sooner. I didn't because I was scared I wouldn't be able to do anything else.

I was paid out my holidays and I lived off this. I slept heaps and was afraid of leaving the house. Finding work again was anxiety inducing but I got there. I feared I would have a meltdown during interviews or on my first shift but it didn't happen.

You will be okay. Look after yourself and things will fall into place. It's a good time to enjoy some recreation and explore your hobbies and interests. No guilt attached to this because you matter. If you want to work again you will. I was honestly convinced I wouldn't go back to work. I am now working 30+ hours week and make sure I stick to my rostered hours and take my breaks. You will be okay.

Re: Resigned from job due to return of anxiety

blondguy — Sat, 24 Feb 2024 15:35:36 GMT

Hello SAX_11 and thankyou for being a part of the Beyond Blue Family!

Special thanks to....Lyn_Dog...HappySheep....HelloTea.....Richju and Aussie.Girl for the kind support you have provided to SAX_11

Sax_11....You are smarter than I was when my anxiety 'kicked in 'when I was 23.....You have made the best decision as your health is paramount...all other considerations are secondary at this time..

Of course people experience varying levels of anxiety...I understand those levels. I was an idiot that 'soldiered on 'with mid to high level' anxiety/panic attacks .......to my detriment health wise. (just for myself)

Ive studied anxiety disorder for circa 4 decades and I hope the following is helpful for you and anyone else reading the forums.

If our anxiety begins to have a detrimental impact on our ability to function on a day to day basis in our work, then we really have start our recovery by....

1. Seeing our GP asap....(I actually see my GP for counselling now)

2. Frequent counselling....fortnightly is good...weekly is better...(if affordable of course)

3. Understanding that an anxiety disorder (that has a negative effect on our daily ability to function effectively) is like having invisible crutches

I hope some of this post is helpful

my kindest

Paul

Re: Resigned from job due to return of anxiety

sax_11 — Thu, 29 Feb 2024 23:42:08 GMT

Hello HS,

Thankfully I can answer yes to both your questions, so that is one less thing to stress about. But I am scared and possibly over-thinking that I will never get another job even though I don't plan to be off work for very long for my skills to become outdated.

Either way it's a challenging time and I do appreciate your support and advice.

Thanks, take care xx

Re: Resigned from job due to return of anxiety

sax_11 — Thu, 29 Feb 2024 23:46:47 GMT

Hello Lyn_Dog,

I feel like I've let myself and my family down and that's the hardest thing for me to deal with. But I do have their full support thankfully in this instance.

Thank you for your support I appreciate you sharing your experience.

Re: Resigned from job due to return of anxiety

sax_11 — Thu, 29 Feb 2024 23:54:21 GMT

Hi Paul,

Thank you for your support and advice. I suffered greatly in my 20's due to my anxiety but I managed to get though it with the support of my husband. Now I'm in my 40's it's reared it's ugly head again in a big way and I feel like a failure for not keeping it under control. My husband has been great again, but I hate that I chose the wrong job which has triggered it again. So not knowing what my next move should be, work wise, is frustrating.

I have been seeing my GP, that was the first place I went as my health was being affected and he's given me a few suggestions that have been a big help.

Appreciate you taking the time to respond to me.

Take care xx

Re: Resigned from job due to return of anxiety

HappySheep — Fri, 01 Mar 2024 05:45:35 GMT

Hi sax_11,

It makes a massive difference having supportive people around you, doesn't it? I totally understand and share the guilt and disappointment in oneself, the feeling of letting the family down. I think that's a great indication that we still have a long way to go before we see mental health as being as legitimate as physical health. If someone developed long Covid or an auto-immune disease that meant they had to take time off work, no one would think they were not trying hard enough or they had failed. It's equally as legitimate to take time off for mental illness as for a physical one.

I also understand the over-thinking brain that comes with anxiety. There's a fabulous quote that I think is from Mark Twain that goes something like: 'In my life I have experienced many horrible, disastrous things - some of them even happened.'

I said in my previous comment that even typing some of my own fears made them sound ridiculous - even though they have me crippled with inability to function. I thank you for making me say them out loud (so to speak) and showing them for their ridiculousness. You inspired me to bite the bullet and resign from my own job. Although I am still suffering from all the same fears as yourself, the relief has been amazing.

We have done the hard bit - to recognise that we have to stop bashing our heads against a wall. Now all we have to do is allow ourselves the time to heal.

I have no doubt you (and I) will both find jobs when we are ready. That is a problem for another today. Today's priority is just to take care of yourself and begin to heal.

Regards,

HS.

Re: Resigned from job due to return of anxiety

therising — Fri, 01 Mar 2024 21:48:20 GMT

Hi sax_11

I really feel for you so much while you struggle with overwhelming demands as well as such terrible inner torment. I can relate in a number of ways. While I'd planned to go back to work around the start of this year (after having a year off), going back's been put on hold for a couple more months. In the lead up to my resignation at the end of 2022, the mental torment in the form of inner dialogue was shocking. It sounded somewhat like 'What's wrong with you? Why when everyone else would be able to cope with all this stress are you so weak? It's because you're hopeless, that's why'. And stuff like 'What kind of person would put their husband under pressure by making him the sole income earner for the family? A selfish person!' and 'Think of all the things the kids are going to have to go without because you need time off, because you just can't get your sh** together'. It was relentless. Inner demons can definitely make life feel like hell on earth at times. My harsh and brutal depressing inner critic would have to be one of the worst. The people pleaser in me didn't help matters. 'You know how much this is going to upset everyone from your boss to your family to your work mates who are already short staffed' etc etc. It was largely my mum and my 21yo daughter who put an end to all that inner dialogue, when they woke me up to just how much I was trying to manage in life, with a part time job on top of it all. What my boss said to me was basically the cherry on top. Being someone who suffers from anxiety herself, she said 'If there's one thing I've learned over the years it's that anxiety is telling you that something's gotta change. If this is the change you need (resigning) then trust that'.

I don't think we realise just how much we're trying to cope with until there's some sort of breakdown or you could say a breaking down of everything that's led up to where we're at. Once you break it all down, it starts to make more sense, why we're experiencing life in the way we are. Hindsight can lead us to realise our nervous system may have been pleading with us to change, in a whole number of ways, for months. It's not until it begins screaming at us 'I CAN'T COPE WITH THIS LEVEL OF STRESS ANYMORE!' that we're finally forced to change some things. I think my nervous system was crying with joy the moment I handed in my resignation. At the very least, I could feel it give a massive sigh of relief. I figure if we're going to have our nervous system with us for the rest of our life, we need to start listening to it a bit more while keeping it in good health. Easier said than done at times, that's for sure. 🙂

Re: Resigned from job due to return of anxiety

AnonymousZG — Sat, 04 Jan 2025 11:16:56 GMT

Hi Paul,

I had a similar situation to Sax_11. I started a role and the culture there was toxic and political. To make it worse, the manager was an absolute bitch - always on leave or uncontactable BUT will always message us on MS Teams at odd hours (e.g. midnight) and would whatsapp us on our days off. I tried really hard to stay and in the end, I had a breakdown. It was my first breakdown and I landed in hospital. I was so scared I could not return to work and ended up quitting. Whilst I was in hospital, the manager never asked how I was, all she did was message me and then she suddenly saved a voicemail with an aggressive tone telling me she had a duty of care for me. I was in hospital at that time and was so shocked and scared I couldn't respond. I ended up quitting and now I am freaked out.

The manager is very unprofessional, when asked for a reference, there was no response. I'm not too sure what I could do. I really need this to find a job and to move on.

It is the first time I have experience this scare in my life.