topic Re: Journal? in Anxiety

Journal?

Patches63 — Fri, 30 Jun 2023 02:48:16 GMT

I’m currently waiting to see someone for help with my mood swings and images in my head. In small group and online I’m naturally a talker. Finding am wanting to talk about how I’m feeling in hope of getting it out of my system or easing the pain. Have never done before but am wondering if writing or typing in some type of journal my fears, anxiety, emotions might help.

has anyone done similar? If so, did it help?

Re: Journal?

kwilgbob — Fri, 30 Jun 2023 11:56:48 GMT

Ive just started, it helps. I started writing random throughts, drew a line under some things and kept writing, not looking back, felt liberating

Re: Journal?

Croix — Fri, 30 Jun 2023 11:59:03 GMT

Dear Patches63~

Yes I've kept a journal which lasted on and off for several years and yes it did help, though it was not as straightforward as I first thought.

Keeping at it every day was a chore, and I did not always do so, though if things were bad I'd make an effort and try. Setting things down did help to keep them in proportion and the actual writing served as a distraction. Unfortunately when things were good I'd neglect the writing which meant over time the whole thing was too far out of balance, with the world portrayed as mostly bad.

There were a couple of positive spin-offs, the first being I had an accurate record of the down times to give ot my psych, and that would give an overall trend. The second was if I looked in it I could find things that had helped -a walk, a book, a talk etc which I'd forgotten about.

If you would prefer an electronic version on your phone you may find something here as a starting point

https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/resources-support/digital-tools-apps/

https://au.reachout.com/tools-and-apps

Hope that helps

Croix

Re: Journal?

Mark Z. — Fri, 30 Jun 2023 19:02:06 GMT

Hi Patches63,

It certainly helps. Journaling encourages self-reflection and introspection. When I write about my experiences and thoughts, I feel that I gain a deeper understanding of myself, my possible triggers, and patterns of thinking. This self-awareness helps me identify sources of anxiety. And as long as I understand myself better, the anxiety is eased.

In addition, for a while I was journaling and seeing a psychologist regularly. I found that because of journaling, I was able to describe my mental state to the psychologist in a wider and deeper way, which greatly helped the him in his analysis.

Mark

Re: Journal?

Patches63 — Fri, 30 Jun 2023 23:16:49 GMT

Thanks everyone for the information and encouragement. At times find myself doubting what I do including is it beneficial or am I just wasting time and causing myself more pain.

Mark Z you mentioned possible triggers. This is something I know I hope to get some help with and how to better cope with the impact of my triggers. I’m aware of some of my triggers due to events within last approx 5 years for which when I reached out for help was left no better and illusioned.

thanks for those links Croix, will have a look at them over the weekend when I know I’m in best current head space.

Patches

Re: Journal?

Mark Z. — Sun, 02 Jul 2023 18:44:04 GMT

Hi Patches63,

Thanks for your feedback. When you say you reached out for help but was left no better and illusioned, do you want to share this story? We might be able to share some experience or give some advice.

Mark

Re: Journal?

Patches63 — Sun, 02 Jul 2023 22:28:48 GMT

Sure Mark. I was working full time at the time and contacted Employee Access Program, explained exactly what was happening in my life at that time, areas I knew I was struggling and requested to be referred to some one to help me with coping mechanisms. I had already spoken to gp I was seeing at that time who I felt wasn’t supportive.
time line blurs to some degree. My husband had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and was starting to spend almost as much time in hospital as he was home. wasn’t coping from grief aspect. Even one delay in his release from hospital once left me extremely upset.

clearly explained on patient info sheet plus verbally in first session I knew I needed help with coping mechanisms. First and every session was the same, counsellor asking me about me week and saying we would meet following week to give me hour away from everything to talk. When I asked about coping mechanisms/strategies to help deal with things was told would focus on them the following week but never happened. Attended 3 sessions coming away feeling I could have spoken to my supportive manager and felt same. Contacted Employee Assistance Program and requested to be referred to some one else, when they phoned back my husband was fading quickly and was only short while before his final days.
stress flares up some of my physical health issues. Knowing this and already starting to struggle in that area I spoke to gp who told me nothing he would do meds wise until I had gone through counselling. Felt was trapped in endless circle. Counselling was never offered to my husband or myself through cancer section of local hospital. Looking back I never asked but, due to my husband having almost gone to ICU within few weeks after diagnosis I was focusing on one day at a time

Re: Journal?

Mark Z. — Mon, 03 Jul 2023 19:12:16 GMT

Hi Patches63,

I'm really sorry to hear about what you were going through. It sounds incredibly tough, and it's totally okay to feel overwhelmed. You were doing such as amazing job to try to access different supports, I'm sorry that they didn't work for you.

If your GP isn't giving you what you need, there's no harm in getting a second opinion. You need to look after your mental health just as much as your physical health. It is the same with your counselor. If the one you've been seeing hasn't helped, it's fine to tell the program why and ask for another counselor who suits you better.

I think you can also try other types of support. For example support groups, such as GriefLine - They provide counselling support services free of charge to individuals and families experiencing loss and grief. You can call them at 1300 845 745.

It will also be a good idea to give a call to BeyondBlue hotline 1300 224 636 (24/7) to talk to a professional for cope strategies and supporting resources.

Do take care of yourself. Do little things that help you relax. Try deep breathing, going for a walk, or anything else that helps you chill out. And don't forget to rest, eat well, and do stuff you enjoy when you can.

Hope everything will be better.

Mark

Re: Journal?

Patches63 — Mon, 03 Jul 2023 22:13:00 GMT

Thanks Mark.

Couple days I spoke to BB on call counsellor and had a good chat. She has sent me information and links to list of professionals who provide Somatic Experiences(SE) or EMDR.
yesterday I spoke to woman in nearby area who provides SE Equine Therapy, have completed extensive questionaire you sent me and waiting to hear back. She also advised me of another provider of SE Equine Therapy who is approx 1hr drive from me.

Last counselling I received which I feel was beneficial to me was grief counselling approx 15 years ago. Speaking to BB counsellor she said she believes that due to me now being retired from work, even though my nervous system is on high alert, that the impact of multiple unresolved trauma events are no impacting on me.

I’m not much of an outdoor person. I used to enjoy drives through the country side and drives down to the coast, issues with being scared of trucks plus petrol prices is making it harder to do these. I’m a music and craft person, people who don’t know don’t understand why I have quite sizeable collection of music related cds, mainly with songs from 50’s to 80’s.

yesterday I found and bought the notebook I want to use for my journal. As I shared with younger cousin with whom we had great relationship growing up (with me being an only child and her only having brothers, we were raised that we are closest to being sisters that’s possible) and semi still do, my thoughts for journal are 1) naming every traumatic event and recording how I remember it made me feel etc 2) notes/dot points for feelings/struggles plus positive/happy things, target being at least couple days each week. 3) writing letters to people who have already died where there is emotional upset linked to both positive and negative memories.

grief counsellor years ago suggested trying journal and/or letters and I couldn’t do it.

I’ve also taken note of details of professional who provides SE that is not Equine Therapy linked as another possible for getting help.

Patches

Re: Journal?

Croix — Tue, 04 Jul 2023 08:16:45 GMT

Dear Patches~

That sounds pretty positive and gives things to hope for

I found with the journal it helped upon re-reading if after describing how badly I felt I also tried to record what made me feel better -at that specific time. I know you plan on including positive and happy things but having something good at the end of a passage of bad does give a resource and hope.

I can very much understand your choice of music as I am particularly fond of those times, in fact I think my favorite song is "Windmills of your Mind" from the late 60's

SE Equine Therapy sounds most interesting and I've heard good things about it.

Please let us know how you go

Croix

Re: Journal?

Patches63 — Tue, 04 Jul 2023 09:54:36 GMT

Hi Croix,

not sure I have one favourite song, my choice of songs, singers and even genre change depending on my mood. One group I am drawn to when feeling low is Human Nature. Something in the tone of their voices speaks to my inner core and lifts my spirits. The Seekers with Judith Durham is another group I like listening to especially Morningtown Ride …. as a young child remember asking to listen to this song.

Im staying tossing around ideas for documenting my days in the journal. Happy to accept any thoughts people have as part of this thought process. Definitely know I will not write up every day individually. At the moment having to make decisions what furniture etc I will/can take with me when move to new home in few months. Lots of hard emotional decisions to be made as am downsizing and will not have space for everything. Some of my current struggles focus around the emotional attachment to items I have inherited or been given. Logic at times wins but not often. Couple weeks ago decisions were led by logic and decisions made to sell etc certain items. Items are still sitting in same location to current day with only very small number of items dealt with. Trying to do logic 2year rule but emotions over ride and I end up recoiling to my safety zone.

Patches

Re: Journal?

Mark Z. — Tue, 04 Jul 2023 19:01:11 GMT

Hi Patches,

Thank you for keeping us updated - it's truly inspiring! You're taking brave and decisive steps forward, and that's something you should be very proud of.

Just keep going with what's working for you treatment-wise, and make sure to spend time on stuff you love like music and crafting (super cool hobbies by the way!). Keep on writing down your thoughts and exploring who you are.

Every bit of progress, no matter how big or small, is worth celebrating. You're doing a remarkable job, and we're here to cheer you on.

Feel free to update us anytime. We always look forward to hearing from you.
Mark

Re: Journal?

David35 — Wed, 05 Jul 2023 08:13:32 GMT

Writing about past experiences has helped me. It help give me perspective, especially grievances or loss/grief. It helps put words to your thoughts and is kind of therapeutic. I've written about my childhood up until now (46) with different things I've done and sometimes let trusted people read it.

Re: Journal?

Patches63 — Wed, 05 Jul 2023 09:19:01 GMT

I’ve spent most of today doing rough timeline of date, couple word description and have gone on to describe detail of events, feelings and things I remember of events which have been traumatic and/or caused extreme upset.

some parts very emotional but feeling better within myself for pushing through and getting it down in writing.

tomorrow is day to give brain a break. I like doing jigsaws and have recently found out about jigsaw library about 1hr drive from me in small country town, library opens couple hours once each month with cost of 40 cents per jigsaw that is borrowed. Am looking forward to the country drive plus hoping to bring one or 2 jigsaws home to start to do over the weekend.

Patches

Re: Journal?

Croix — Wed, 05 Jul 2023 12:15:15 GMT

Dear Patches~

It sounds as if you have relived a whole bunch of experiences all at the one time. I'd imagine that would have been very taxing, and giving yourself a break tomorrow sounds most sensible.

Hopefully when you fill in you journal in the future it will only be abut one episode at a time

The drive and jigsaws seems like a pretty good remedy. When you are doing a jigsaw do you listen to a podcast, audio-book, music or similar so you have two interests at once? I tend to do that with repetitive tasks, and find my enjoyment greatly enhanced.

Mowing is a good example where I"m sitting on the machine and steering. It does not take up much thought, and listening to the Science Report or some other podcast at the same time is great.

Croix

Re: Journal?

Patches63 — Wed, 05 Jul 2023 23:58:33 GMT

Music, definitely music Croix. At times I pull out some my kids theme dvds and play, more so to listen to than watch eg Shrek, Ice Age.

quick scan over what I wrote yesterday …. It’s going for become my messy draft.
Grief counselling years ago the counselling asked if was possible to give some rough timeline of events ie trying to talk through things from oldest to more recent.

a week and I have first psych appointment and thought I would like to have semi timeline of events. To try to do it in my head I can’t, even at best of times my thoughts tend to jump around, I can start talking about one topic, be part way through and then realise I’m talking about totally something different, some times totally unrelated. Been doing it for decades by now, know IDo it and doesn’t worry me. Most of my relatives can’t cope with it and think I’m doing it deliberately just to annoy them. Possibly one reason I have almost nothing to do with majority of my relatives.
back to my initial thoughts …. Thought if I could write down in rough timeline some info, memories, feelings etc about the events during the ast approx 50 years that this might be helpful when starting to chat with psych.

It was draining but had great night sleep and feeling bit better within myself this morning.

sun in shining and looks lovely outside, time to pluck up some courage and go for a drive

Patches

Re: Journal?

Patches63 — Sat, 15 Jul 2023 13:54:20 GMT

During this last week I’ve been redoing first section of my journal. Started off with one page summarising date and few words about each different event. Have then been taking my time, writing down everything I can remember.

first psych appointment yesterday and took my journal. Psych took photo of the pages containing timeline. First hr long appointment and we have briefly chatted about approx first third of events. Next appointment in 2 weeks, few days after second Somatic Experiences Equine Assisted Therapy.

Patches

Re: Journal?

Croix — Sun, 16 Jul 2023 11:54:59 GMT

Dear Patches~

That all sounds pretty hopeful. I"d not worry overmuch about getting the timeline exact. I can't, even after so many years. There are things that loom in the mind, and thay can easily be out of the wrong time.

I had a funny expereice a while ago when I met up with someone I'd served with and found our recollections of events did not match in places. I'm sure the other person was correct, but some people and events I did not remember at all, and others were out of place.

That only applied withing a certain number of years up to my invalidity retirement and for a while after. Later on things are much more orderly.

Do you find re-writing those pages in your journal are ok to do?

Croix

Re: Journal?

Patches63 — Sun, 16 Jul 2023 12:27:27 GMT

Hi Croix,

I have a head knowledge of what you mentioned about events in the past. My late husband served in Navy for couple decades. Would listen to him and his best ex Navy mate talk about different things, neither remember exactly same things.

I suffer from Order OCD, only way my brain felt fairly settled was taking fair portion of one day getting time line accurate as possible. Mainly focused on the year apart from few times when multiple events happened with 12 to 18 month period. Wrote with spare line between each entry and found add couple of events due to some adverts on tv triggering memories.

Ive been taking my time and writing for no more than 30 minutes each day or second day whilst expanding on each event. So much detail of different events I feel I’ve disassociated from, can calmly write the things I’m remembering and seeing in my mind but feels like I’m watching on and that it’s not something I went through.

have taken last couple days away from journal. Yesterday went to a community market which involved approx 1hr drive one way

Patches