topic Re: Moving home. in Anxiety

Moving home.

Johan71 — Tue, 20 Jun 2023 04:35:28 GMT

I’m incredibly anxious about moving house. I’m retired. We live in a large home and moving to an apartment. Typical downsizing. The process of selling one home and moving into another is stressful and unsettling. I can’t help but think of the things that could go wrong. Will we sell? Will I like the apartment etc etc.

Re: Moving home.

indigo22 — Tue, 20 Jun 2023 07:59:01 GMT

Hello Johan71,

Welcome, I am glad you have come here to get some support. I don't have a lot of experience with anxiety, my forte is depression, however, I saw your post and wanted to do my best to support you until someone sees your post that does have more experience with anxiety. I have had a lot of experience with moving and it is one of the more stressful events in life. I know it is hard to leave somewhere where you feel safe and comfortable and take a leap into the unknown, I can only imagine that it is even more so for you. Yes things can go wrong when moving but 9 times out of 10 things will go smoothly so it may help to think of yourself as one of the 9 and try not to imagine the worst case scenario. I moved 360km from where I lived just a few years ago. I am on my own and bought a house that I had seen for about 10 minutes and I moved to a town where I did not know a soul. But the I knew the first morning when I woke up that I had made the right decision. Take your time and find an apartment that feels right to you, feels like home when you walk into it, then look forward to your retirement with much less area to take care of and more time to do the things that make you happy.

I wish you all the best.

indigo22

Re: Moving home.

Johan71 — Tue, 20 Jun 2023 09:42:42 GMT

Thank you for taking the time to reply. It is very much appreciated. I was initially sceptical about the forum but you have given me optimism about its value. I really don’t understand why the anxiety has taken control of my negative thoughts. I’m only moving from an outer suburb to an inner suburb, perhaps only 15 minutes drive. Hardly 360 km! It seems that I’m simply scared that my so far perfect retirement will be upended. I know its simply irrational. Regards

Re: Moving home.

quirkywords — Tue, 20 Jun 2023 10:42:06 GMT

Johan71

Thznms fir your honesty. People will read your words but not reply. They will feel less alone. Moving house is one of the stressful life events. You are acknowledging how you feel and that is a good start.
are you a list maker. I make lists and that helps me.

Re: Moving home.

Dean07 — Tue, 20 Jun 2023 13:07:12 GMT

Moving can be stressful. I’ve moved 5 times in my life and can’t say I enjoy any of the moves. All I can say is that I settled into each new places very quickly.

Hope all goes well for you.

Re: Moving home.

Johan71 — Wed, 21 Jun 2023 00:27:25 GMT

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I’ve moved several times as well but this is the first time the anxiety has affected me. Perhaps as we get older the less we like change.

Re: Moving home.

Johan71 — Wed, 21 Jun 2023 00:30:36 GMT

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I’ve moved several times in my life, including interstate but this is the first time anxiety has affected my life. Perhaps as we get older change is less and less manageable.

Re: Moving home.

Johan71 — Wed, 21 Jun 2023 00:42:56 GMT

You know, I think about my parents. They moved from post WW2 Europe to Australia. No family, no friends, no job, no English. Endured the German occupation of their homeland. Can’t imagine anything more stressful but they survived and prospered. It makes me think I’m pretty selfish that I’m having trouble handling this move.

Re: Moving home.

indigo22 — Wed, 21 Jun 2023 01:38:38 GMT

You are not at all selfish, please don't put that label on yourself. You are just feeling unsettled at the moment and we can all understand that feeling. Just be gentle and kind with yourself, it is a big step and you are right, things effect us more the older we get. Try to not let that negative voice get the better of you.

Sending you a hug.

indigo22

Re: Moving home.

Johan71 — Wed, 21 Jun 2023 06:22:44 GMT

Thank you again for your thoughts. My old home goes on auction this weekend. Nervous time! Best wishes

Re: Moving home.

indigo22 — Mon, 26 Jun 2023 03:30:50 GMT

Hello Johan71,

How did things go with the house on the weekend?

indigo22

Re: Moving home.

Johan71 — Mon, 26 Jun 2023 04:00:30 GMT

Thanks for following up. I’m pleased to say we sold, at a price more than we expected. Still anxious about what’s ahead but at least one worry bites the dust.

Re: Moving home.

indigo22 — Mon, 26 Jun 2023 04:54:20 GMT

That's great, I am very happy for you. Turns out you are one of the 9 out of 10 😀

Hang in there,

indigo22

Re: Moving home.

indigo22 — Tue, 01 Aug 2023 01:26:27 GMT

Hi Johan71,

I am not sure what your timeline for moving was, have you moved as yet? If so, how did it go? And how are you felling about it all?

Hope all is well.

indigo22

Re: Moving home.

Johan71 — Wed, 02 Aug 2023 06:33:14 GMT

Dear Indigo

V grateful for your follow up. And yes, while the move is not quite finalised, arrangements are proceeding well. And fortunately, my anxiety has abated somewhat. I’ve decided to get some professional help once the move is over. One of perplexing things about general anxiety disorder (at least for me) is that, as one set of (now proven) irrational fears fall away, another set quickly emerges to take their place. Uncertainty about what might happen, and the simple fact that you can’t speed up time to see whether those fears emerge or not, constantly challenges the mind. I’ve read a lot about mindfulness to block out irrational thoughts, but like most things, easier said than done. I hope the professional help will help overcome or at least mitigate that.

Best wishes, and thanks again for taking the time to write.

Johan71

Re: Moving home.

indigo22 — Wed, 02 Aug 2023 07:49:20 GMT

I am so glad to hear everything is going well with the move and to hear that you are going to get some help managing your anxiety. You and I are on opposite ends of the scale, you are all about what might happen with your anxiety and I am all about what has happened with my depression. We will be here to support you if/when you need us. I wish you every success moving forward Johan.

Re: Moving home.

Johan71 — Mon, 04 Sep 2023 21:42:51 GMT

Dear Indigo

I thought I should touch base to see how you are going. We are all settled and adapting to apartment life. Even the dog is getting used to it. While still some mental adjustment to go through (I’ve lived kin suburbia all my life), all has worked out well. Your last email about opposite ends of the scale got me to thinking. My anxiety (and perhaps many others) was about what might happen. Yours, is about what has happened. Whilst people can plan for what’s ahead, and learn from what has happened in the past, in both cases there is little that a person can do about either. What will happen will happen, and what’s done is done. I guess the moral of the story is to live in the present if one can. Best wishes. And thanks again for taking an interest. Kind regards. Johan71