topic Re: Hi in Anxiety

Hi

JacintaMarie — Wed, 14 Jun 2023 10:31:49 GMT

Hi,

How are you? Back again, been doing really well & had an panic attack, did manage to fix myself, breathing in and out, in and out and had a better afternoon.

I got triggered at work by someone at work's stress, it's their personality so they can't change & its not right for me to be judgemental & it's up to me to deal with it, but I failed & I don't know how to deal with their adrenaline, they are a go go go person. The type of person who is always stressed out l.

I need to learn how to switch off, as Mum says, I'm going to come across these people again & again.

The fault is mine! Not them.

And I made mistakes too at work & people will think I'm an idiot!

Sorry, I've been doing really well

Re: Hi

Dean07 — Wed, 14 Jun 2023 11:06:52 GMT

Sound like you handled the panic attack really well. It’s s perfectly normal to falter occasionally.

as far as your coworker stressing out goes. Try to take a big breath and buy out of it. It’s their problem. Let them deal with it. Sometimes easier said than done.

everyone makes mistakes. I should have had a capital letter at the start of the last sentence but who cares.
Covering up mistakes can lead to more problems than making them in the first place.
I was an employer and I expected my employees to make mistakes. I’d hope they were small ones but they happen. It’s all good. It’s also how we fix the mistakes and getting help if needed before things get out of hand.
I read about a flight attendant on her first day at work who accidentally set off the escape shoot. It cost the airline thousands and they had to find another plane for the flight. That’s what I call a mistake.

if you where the flight attendant I’m sorry for bringing it up. 🫣😁

You will find a way of dealing with these situations. Each time you become desensitised a little bit.

Good luck in the future.

Re: Hi

JacintaMarie — Wed, 14 Jun 2023 11:19:12 GMT

Hi Dean07

Thanks for that, I wasn't the flight attendant, but poor person! That was bad! I haven't done that!

And yes, it is their problem and it's easier said then done, I can't leave the office, yet. I'm going to come across the same people, where ever I go.

Am having a cry, just to let it out, & am feeling better.

It's my lesson I guess, to not take on others stress. It's toxic to me but to them, it's who they are, they can't help it.

And I am wanting to fix the mistake, not hide it.

Thanks, have a good day

Re: Hi

JED1980 — Wed, 14 Jun 2023 11:46:48 GMT

Hello

It sounds as though you did a great job handling the panic attack. This is a really good thing. We all have days that can be a little harder than others. Its perfectly ok to make mistakes, its how we move forward from them that matters.

I too have a person in my office, who (my words!) flaps about and honestly, is a ball of stress and a heart attack waiting to happen. When i come across this person, i can feel my anxiety go into overdrive. Im not sure if you can, but i literally walk away from this person. I breathe, the same as you, shove my headphones on, and try to focus on my job, and do some self talk to re centre myself.

You are doing great! And remember mistakes happen. We all make them

Take care

Re: Hi

Dean07 — Wed, 14 Jun 2023 11:49:11 GMT

Sounds like you are trying to put thing into perspective.

Some times the situation you find yourself in is toxic and you should find a way of getting out.
My daughter’s first job was like this. She put up with it for a while but decided to leave as she couldn’t change anything.

If you’re in a situation like this it’s a good thing to look for another job or a transfer. Life is too short to put up with a bad environment.

Re: Hi

therising — Wed, 14 Jun 2023 19:53:11 GMT

Hi JacintaMarie

Sounds like you're making great progress in regard to how and what you feel while trying to manage other people's vibes as well.That's something to be so incredibly proud of, as it can take a heck of a lot of hard work and self understanding. You're becoming a master at managing your own energy and other people's too 🙂

Sounds like everyone's got a story about that one super high energy person at work. Up until taking this year off, I worked with a lady who was a high energy major stresser. One day it would be like working with the calmest and happiest person in the world, the next her stress levels could change my breathing. I could feel her stress and it challenged me. I could feel the speed of her thoughts. Don't get me wrong, she's one of the loveliest, kindest most thoughtful people I've ever met. While she prided herself on rarely ever taking leave, she should have been taking leave occasionally. In fairness, we were always short staffed with management refusing to put on the extra staff member we desperately needed. Don't always believe the faults you're working with are all yours. In the case I mention, a couple of the faults related to management mismanaging and this staff member not taking leave that would have come to help her. Keep in mind, as a feeler you can be working with someone who's also a real feeler and not necessarily recognise it. While you can be managing how to not feel so intensely, that other person may not be managing in such strategic ways. Also we could be working with someone with an ADHD nature perhaps, someone who's not managing the hyperactive aspect of that.

It's a part of the human nature to make mistakes on occasion for a variety of reasons:

We're under stress while trying to manage a lot at once
We're distracted by something or someone in the environment
Our mind can be on other things outside of work
If the job is a repetitive one, being on auto pilot means being semi conscious, as opposed to being fully conscious of everything we do. Another factor can involve thinking 2 steps ahead and simply forgetting the step in between

and the list goes on.

I think the ultimate challenge is to be kinder to our self as we come to know our self better. Personally, I've developed the mantra 'I'm so funny', which has come to replace 'I'm so stupid'. I've learned to laugh at myself when the opportunity arises, a challenging practice well worth developing. It's good for self esteem.

Re: Hi

geoff — Wed, 14 Jun 2023 23:25:28 GMT

Hello JacintaMarie, this is not necessarily your fault, because you may be confronted with people like this later on, perhaps these people do have their own problem and all you need to learn is to be able to turn off from what these people are doing, that may not be easy, but the focus is on yourself and not them.

Everybody makes mistakes, some are able to hide it, while others tend to blame another person and never blame themselves, these are people you can never trust, and getting help to block these people can be done by talking with a counsellor.

Geoff.

Life Member.

Re: Hi

JacintaMarie — Thu, 15 Jun 2023 23:26:36 GMT

Thanks for that, I do that too, I try to walk away, actually I did that that day, because I just had to get away.

Re: Hi

JacintaMarie — Thu, 15 Jun 2023 23:31:15 GMT

Thanks Dean, I'm trying to put things onto perspectives & like my mum said, accept people for who they are, good or bad, that's who they are & they are on their own journey or evolution (that's learning).I am looking for another job, but need to solve my issues before I move on or I'm just going to have same problems

Re: Hi

JacintaMarie — Thu, 15 Jun 2023 23:44:15 GMT

Thanks the rising, the high energy person is a lovely person when she's calm, & I am a hard worker but when she's go go go. It makes me feel exhausted & lazy.

I didn't think she might be adhd and will take that on, I think there might be some people at work that are obessive compulsive and not managing it very well, she has had sickness, dodgy tummy, etc, which could be due to stress, but as my Mum says, she's a big girl (she's 63) and it's not my problem.

We are short-staffed as well, but for some reason management don't want to get another staff member. I don't know why, I think maybe because of money but who knows, then they complain that they're over worked.

My work is okay, the work comes and goes & I just do one thing at a time & try not to get annoyed when a mistake happens

Re: Hi

JacintaMarie — Thu, 15 Jun 2023 23:47:34 GMT

Thanks Geoff, that's what I need to do, to learn how to block them or switch off, music helps & walking away when can.

And, as my Mum said, those people can't help it, it's part of their personality & could be part of a bigger problem or a mental health issue. They have their own walk to walk. And I think too, where I work there are lots of internally unhappy people.

Re: Hi

geoff — Fri, 16 Jun 2023 00:41:37 GMT

Thanks JacintaMarie, you can block these people but it doesn't mean they will stop any criticism, so it's how you learn that any comments, no matter what they say will just bounce back off you and not hurt you.

I really hope that another job will have more affable people, but in each job there always seems to one troublemaker who you will notice straight away, please try and stay away from this/these people as they try and encourage you to join their group.

Please stay in touch with us.

Geoff.

Life Member.