topic Is the crying normal? in Anxiety

Is the crying normal?

Kitty1991 — Thu, 15 Jul 2021 11:01:43 GMT

Hi everyone,

I have been diagnosed with server depression and anxiety recently. I don’t really notice the depression to much just not really understanding what emotion I should be feeling when, no motivation and a lot of apathy. But the anxiety is exhausting me. I go around in a constant state of panic basically. For no reason, don’t know why. And every time I try to relax I end up crying and can not seem to stop. It’s quite ridiculous really because whenever I try and sleep, I relax end up crying, then cannot sleep and the next day the cycle begins again.
Does anyone else have the same or similar crying issue I do? If so I would really appreciate any tips you have on how to stop crying. I have tried distracting myself- normally makes it worse. But if I tense back up again I can stop crying, but then I can’t sleep. Unless anyone has any tips on how to sleep tensed up? Lol. Also tried deep breathing to no noticeable effect.

Thank you for your help, it’s really appreciated.

Cheers.

Is the crying normal?

Rainshaddow — Thu, 15 Jul 2021 11:19:38 GMT

Hi Liz , I am constantly on the verge of tears and sad all the time , I have tried prescription medication and it did help ,

Is the crying normal?

Guest9337 — Thu, 15 Jul 2021 11:23:42 GMT

G'day Kitty1991.

I have felt like you describe more than a few times.

You might want to continue your journey by having a look at the bb online stuff

Anxiety management strategies - Beyond Blue

Is the crying normal?

Isabella_ — Thu, 15 Jul 2021 12:03:40 GMT

Hi Kitty1991,

Thank you for sharing. I'm really sorry to hear that you've been struggling. It sounds like you're going through a lot of emotional distress, and I guess crying is our body's way of trying let out that stress. Do you feel any kind of good release while crying, or is it more painful and annoying? Are there any particular thoughts that provoke the crying, or do you feel like it just comes on when you're trying to relax?

Crying is a healthy natural way of processing emotion, but at the same time can be a painful symptom of depression and anxiety. When it's constant, it can really weigh on you physically and becomes exhausting, especially when it interferes with your sleep and ability to relax. I imagine the lack of sleep and anxiety creates an awful cycle, I think it would really be worth bringing this up with your psychologist/counsellor, or maybe your GP. Are you currently doing any therapy or considered anti anxiety or antidepressants?

I find it helpful sometimes to listen to music, podcasts or even guided meditations when I'm trying to sleep, I feel like they help occupy my mind by directing it to certain topics just by listening. Even turning on a movie or tv show in the background really helps me.

I hope you're taking things day by day and doing small things to practice self care. I'd love to hear from you.

- Isabella

Is the crying normal?

Amanda2000 — Thu, 15 Jul 2021 12:07:34 GMT

Hi Kitty,

Me too. I just want a good night's sleep in total relaxation. When I had sleep-difficulty as a teenager, I used to play classical music softly as I drifted off to sleep. Have you tried it?

Is the crying normal?

Kitty1991 — Thu, 15 Jul 2021 12:19:50 GMT

Hi Isabella,

Honestly I find the crying quiet annoying. It would be different it I knew why I was crying, like if I was sad or something and aware of the emotion instead of numb. Maybe I should accept that the crying is normal and stop suppressing it. That might allow the crying to provide relief, I might try that.
I will try to listen to some quiet background music to sleep, as you suggest that might help.

I saw a psychologist for the first time the other day and that was really helpful. I thought I was just a bit stressed. She provided the diagnosis of severe anxiety, it was like a light bulb of -oh is this what they mean when people talk about anxiety.

I am on antidepressants, have been for a year, but I reckon they are not working to well. I will have to check in with my GP to get that fixed.

Thanks so much Isabella for getting back to me 🙂

Is the crying normal?

Kitty1991 — Thu, 15 Jul 2021 12:21:06 GMT

Hi Amanda, thanks for the suggestion I will give it a try. Maybe some nice violin or flute music I think.

Is the crying normal?

geoff — Thu, 15 Jul 2021 17:56:47 GMT

Hello Kitty, and thanks for coming to the forums.

Please don't criticise yourself for crying, it means that you're not well and that's why you could even watch an ad or even a cartoon and cry over the simplest action a cartoon picture makes, that's what happened with me and have no regret what's so ever, I was in depression and also suffering from anxiety, and as I've overcome this depression, I still am likely to be tearful when something unexpected happens.

Our hormones are affected by depression and anxiety and sometimes this can give us an overwhelming feeling of sadness and despair as we feel disconnected from what's happening around us and make a conversation impossible to have with anyone.

It would be a good idea to have your doctor review the medication and please remember that anxiety and depression are both linked together, with one being more dominant one day than the other, while tomorrow it could be completely reversed.

Please let us know how you get on.

Geoff.

Is the crying normal?

therising — Thu, 15 Jul 2021 21:29:44 GMT

Hi Kitty

I feel for you so deeply as you're trying to make sense of so much, your self included. Life can definitely feel impossibly hard when you're trying to make sense of why you think the way you do or why you behave the way you do. I personally believe one of the greatest challenges in life to master is self understanding. It can take a lifetime.

As Isabella touched on, venting is perfectly natural. The body will vent what it either can't tolerate or has no use for. If you have an intolerable amount of mental or physical energy, the body will naturally try to vent hyper levels of activity (hyperactivity). Intolerable depressing thoughts and feelings can also be vented, as the body can't tolerate what's intolerable. In other words, extreme dis-ease is better out than in. It's kind of strange how when you go to a wedding and see people crying. You might wonder why the heck someone would cry at a wedding. Intolerable levels of joy also have to be vented in some way.

What the body has no use for: As touched on, the body has no use for dis-ease, no use for what's left over after it's drawn out all the vitamins and minerals it needs to function, from food. You know what that kind of vent looks like 🙂 Drinking water, the body will draw out what it needs from water and vent the rest. Drink too much alcohol and it will vent or bring up what's toxic. Not pretty!

So, the body is a highly efficient venter, taking us along for the ride without us always knowing why it's doing what it's doing. The question I suppose comes down to how do I choose to vent. The choices: Cry, scream, a work out (exercise the stress or hyperactivity out), talk therapy, journaling, breath work where the out breath is longer than the in breath (ventilating without hyperventilating) and the list of possibilities goes on.

The big question really comes down to 'What am I trying to tolerate?' The kind of thoughts, the amount of thoughts (hyper thinking), the amount of natural energy in your body (relateable for people with ADHD), the level of emotional/mental pain, the feelings that can come with the impact of other people's depressing behaviours around you, the feelings that come with being shut down when you really need to open up and so on?

I've found self understanding is like a quest with many many questions and a heck of a lot of venting at times 🙂

Is the crying normal?

Chaudharym — Fri, 16 Jul 2021 18:26:35 GMT

I am currently having a severe anxiety attack. I have been crying for the past 3 hours and cannot stop. Breathing has become a task. I recently moved to sydney have no friends here my family is back home. So whenever i have a fight with my husband( the only contact i have here) i end up crying for hours. Although he is really nice and loves me but he often leaves me alone while i am having a anxiety attack i miss my family a lot and feel lonely and miserable. I want to go back home

Is the crying normal?

Kitty1991 — Sat, 17 Jul 2021 10:43:14 GMT

Wow!
Therising, you have giving me a lot to think about. Thank you I think (😀 sometimes thinking is hard work! Lol) You post really will help I think once I process it.
By the way I am one of them people who cry at weddings because everyone is so happy.

Is the crying normal?

therising — Sat, 17 Jul 2021 22:24:54 GMT

Hi Chaudharym

Living in Sydney at the moment must be stressful. I'm a Melbourne girl, so lock downs are almost like a part of the norm here. We're now into our 5th. I always feel so deeply for the people who are feeling these lock downs the most. This stuff can be mind altering in such deeply challenging ways.

Wondering if you go on Zoom or Facetime etc with members of your family. If you're a super sensitive person, which it sounds like you very well could be, I also wonder whether you have any personal items with you which belong to close family members. Channeling a bit of love and a sense of connection through such items might make some positive difference. If you're close to your mum, you might get her to send you a pillowcase, blanket or little plush toy she's been sleeping with for a week or so and sense her through that thing. If you get her to wear her favourite perfume at the same time, the sense of her would be even stronger. The challenge is to not grieve/miss your family through such an item, it's to feel a connection of deep love and support, no matter the miles in between. Perhaps your family could send you a care package.

I believe there's nothing quite like the challenge of being locked into a marriage. When I say 'locked in', what I mean is there are certain things that will lock us into trying harder with a partner. If we share vows, the legalities of marriage, children, a house and so on, we'll tend to give it our all, compared to a short term relationship we're there are no great significant commitments. I've found that while my marriage has been potentially depressing and even depressing at one point, it has also raised me to find the best in myself. In marriage, you can find greater levels of patience, sense of commitment, endurance, thoughtfulness, consciousness, self understanding etc. You can find what you naturally can and can't tolerate. You can find a deeper sense of feeling. Whether deeper feeling relates to feeling a stronger connection to your natural sense of self, connection to another person or sense of connection to life, marriage can wake you up to a lot of new feelings which can be hard to identify at first.

Sounds like you're feeling a lot of tension with those fights and venting a lot of tension too. Do you find you feel tension in relation to multiple things (missing your family included) and maybe it all comes out during the fights? I find the tension that comes with not feeling heard can be factor for me.

🙂