topic Late 40s with no close friends & hobbies in Anxiety

Late 40s with no close friends & hobbies

Pink grapefruit — Sun, 30 Apr 2023 05:17:23 GMT

Hi there, I am in the 40s with no close friends & hobbies. I have an anxiety on and off thinking that one day something really bad or worse will happen to me and I will lose everything. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life feeling this way.. I wonder if anyone can share the tips on how you manage this type of anxiety if you have had one.

Re: Late 40s with no close friends & hobbies

Tammy_ — Sun, 30 Apr 2023 06:03:02 GMT

Hello, I am in my 40’s too and also have anxiety however I am learning to manage it. What I have found useful is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy which has two main goals 1) to effectively handle painful thoughts and feelings and 2) to create a rich, full and meaningful life. It’s based on 6 core principles:

Defusion - Defusion means relating to your thoughts in a new way so they have much less impact and influence over you. As you learn to defuse from these painful and unpleasant thoughts they will lose their ability to frighten, disturb or depress you.
Acceptance - This means making room for unpleasant feelings or sensations instead of suppressing them or pushing them away.
Contact with present moment - Focusing on and engaging fully in whatever you are doing. Instead of dwelling on the past or future, deeply connect with what is happening right here, right now.
Observing self and thoughts
Values - What is important in your heart? What sort of person do you want to be? What is significant and meaningful to you?
Committed action.

If you like to read I can recommend ‘The happiness trap’ by Dr Russ Harris. One particular aspect of it that I found useful was the defusing from my thoughts and recognising that they are just words and they may or my not be true and you don’t have to take a thought seriously and also just bring in the present moment.

I don’t have any friends here or have many hobbies myself but I am currently doing some study at Uni which I have just started and I am meeting some people this way. I also got a dog which has helped me get out and about meeting people. Hope this helps. All the best.

Re: Late 40s with no close friends & hobbies

Pink grapefruit — Mon, 01 May 2023 13:59:49 GMT

Hi Tammy_

Thank you for your reply and sharing Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. I will keep these 6 principles in mind and hope to make some changes slowly but steadily. I want to stop thinking like there are no hopes in the future.. thank you so much for the tips!!

Re: Late 40s with no close friends & hobbies

Tammy_ — Tue, 02 May 2023 04:00:43 GMT

You’re welcome. I can also recommend a book called ‘Change your thinking’ by Sarah Edelman which helped me understand various types of thinking and it’s based on Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) it is a really easy to understand resource. Yes slowly and steadily is good. Take care and we are here if you need.