topic Re: Apologies just looking for understanding in Anxiety

Apologies just looking for understanding

Ladyrose — Sun, 09 Apr 2023 13:25:12 GMT

I am sorry for taking up peoples time with my problems, but I feel very alone at the moment. I am having major anxiety issues changing jobs. I am completely petrified, and the new position is a long distance from home and I am not sure I have made the right decision. I have cried a river of tears, sweated, chest pains and a feeling of complete helplessness and feeling like a failure. I have booked a psychologist in a weeks time to try and deal with my issues. This is not living. Friends and family dont understand which makes it so much worse. I feel lost and alone as I cant talk to anyone about how I feel. People think by saying you will be ok that the anxiety just disappears. Thank you for listening as I know other people are going through much worse.

Re: Apologies just looking for understanding

geoff — Sun, 09 Apr 2023 21:02:28 GMT

Hello Ladyrose, people may be going through worse, but when it happens to, then it's most concerning.

Changing jobs could be ideal but when you have to travel so far each day then a problem can arise, because you are in your car for a long time, time for you to think about what's happening which can cause your mind to extrapolate about many issues that may be of a concern or thoughts you think could happen and be a problem.

Anxiety can go away but normally this happens with medication along with counselling, it doesn't go away by itself because if this happens then you are prone to develop it once again for any reason.

Starting a new job does make you anxious because you know nothing about who you are working for or what the conditions are like, so you will be frightened.

Your appointment in a weeks time will give time to continue talking with us, let you write down the points you want to discuss with them and speak to free counselling sites and please if you need help finding these sites can you get back to us.

Geoff.

Life Member.

Re: Apologies just looking for understanding

Ladyrose — Sun, 09 Apr 2023 22:52:31 GMT

Hi Geoff,

Thank you so much for responding and your kind words.

I am struggling terribly in reality. I just cant stop sobbing and feel all is lost. I just have to remember that this time next week things will be better.

I will reach out to free counselling today.

Thank you for caring.

Re: Apologies just looking for understanding

Beaser — Mon, 10 Apr 2023 00:51:48 GMT

Hi LadyRose.

I feel i am on the same path as you as i have a new job and i have to give notice tomorrow.. I know its hard and its such an individual thing. I too feel like im lost . I think we both need to give ourselves a break and know that we are trying to better ourselves. Well done for seeking help too.. Happy to always talk more. Brett.

Re: Apologies just looking for understanding

geoff — Mon, 10 Apr 2023 01:32:12 GMT

Hello Ladyrose, don't hold back the tears because if you do then you are holding back your emotions and if you need to go to a park or somewhere no one can see you then please do so.

You have our support under any circumstances and any questions please ask us.

Geoff.

Life Member.

Re: Apologies just looking for understanding

Ladyrose — Mon, 10 Apr 2023 05:56:59 GMT

Hi Brett,

Firstly congratulations on the new role. I am so happy for you. It is so hard taking the leap of faith after a long period of time. Terrifying in fact, but I know for me and I am sure for you, it is the right thing.

Thank you also for reaching out. I dont feel so alone. I wish all workplaces cared about their employees all of the time.

A friend came over today and we went for a walk which was just what I needed. I hope you have someone supporting you too.

Let me know.when you start the new role, as would love to hear how it goes. I start tomorrow so will keep you posted.

Re: Apologies just looking for understanding

Ladyrose — Mon, 10 Apr 2023 05:59:43 GMT

You are amazing Geoff. Thank you so much.

The one benefit of crying a river of tears today is I am so exhausted, I will sleep well tonight and hopefully not ruminate all night.

I absolutely hate how I feel at the moment, and want me strength back 😔.

Once I break the seal of the first day tomorrow, I am sure I will be ok.

Thank you again so much.

Re: Apologies just looking for understanding

Beaser — Mon, 10 Apr 2023 20:30:26 GMT

Best wishes for today LadyRose . Im keen to hear how it goes

Brett

Re: Apologies just looking for understanding

Ladyrose — Tue, 11 Apr 2023 12:33:13 GMT

Hi Brett,

I hope you are super well today.

I attended my new workplace today. The people are lovely, but still struggling with the change. I wanted to run away today but I didnt. Trying to be positive but still feeling that hope is lost.

I know your role change will be better. The problem is me not the job.

Super tired so will sleep well 😊

Re: Apologies just looking for understanding

Beaser — Tue, 11 Apr 2023 21:25:10 GMT

So Happy for you Ladyrose.

What a great achievement to get there and do your first day. Its great to hear the people are great.

I hope you slept well ,being so tired. Looking forward to hearing more from you about how things are going.

Best wishes Brett,

Re: Apologies just looking for understanding

chociloni — Thu, 13 Apr 2023 07:01:28 GMT

I feel pretty much the same as you. Every day is a struggle, it has this stop start effect. Is it dealing with uncertainty?

Re: Apologies just looking for understanding

Johnny_ — Thu, 13 Apr 2023 11:54:57 GMT

Hi Ladyrose,

Congrats on the new job! how exciting! all those amazing possibilities you might experience, a new best friend, a great vibe of a work place, a new local cafe, new challenges and time to listen to your fav tunes on the way home… can’t congrats to you!

I mean what I’ve said but I just wanted to also show you what I do with those high anxiety kind of days, I flip them to a positive. It takes practice but it’s a great tool which helps me a lot, and maybe you too.

I do feel for your struggles and glad you found your way here for support…I hope just that has helped you. No need to apologize either, we all here understand in one way or another what you go through:)

Do you practice meditation, mindfulness, journaling etc? these things are great and work a treat. I use the Calm app myself and love it! it has guided meditation, different sleep sounds etc and def helps me sleep.

Oh and them tears…get comfy with them, notice them, accept them and let them go. I learned this through my psychologist and it changed my perception of them…they help relive the anxiety and allowed my head to be clear.. I felt better and they faded away.

you are you and you are stronger than you think… take care 🙂

Re: Apologies just looking for understanding

Ladyrose — Fri, 14 Apr 2023 14:59:23 GMT

Hi Brett,

I am very sorry for the late reply. Has been a big week.

Day one and two were a big struggle, and then day 3 and 4 I turned the corner. I cant believe it in a good way.

The way I feel today compared to a week ago is just not comparable. So much better. I could not have done it without the support and kindness of this group.

One step at a time and making sure I kept the fight and flight auto mode at the back of my mind instead of front was the way I forced myself to keep being brave.

How is your new role?

Re: Apologies just looking for understanding

Ladyrose — Fri, 14 Apr 2023 15:05:22 GMT

Hi Choclioni,

I am so sorry to hear you are experiencing this type of situation to. I know that uncertainty brings out the worst anxiety in me because I feel I have no control.

Although my choice was incredibly painful for me mentally, i am now so proud of the fact I didnt give up (which I wanted to do a 1000 times). I can now reflect on this in the future and say to myself, hey you got through this, the worst didnt happen and believe in yourself. I hope this helps and I hope you get through whatever you are experiencing to, as we all deserve some peace and happiness.

Re: Apologies just looking for understanding

Ladyrose — Fri, 14 Apr 2023 15:12:21 GMT

Hi Johnny,

What a beautiful post. Thank you so much.

I love your positive statements, and they are so true. I am making friends, learning new things, and what has surprised me most is how much I am enjoying the driving with free library audio books on being more positive and getting anxiety under control. I never thought I would enjoy long drives.

I try and practice meditation, and have also used the calm app. It is great.

I will reflect on your post on the tears in future, as I tend to get more upset with myaelf when the tears start that I am being weak which makes it worse. I am my worsr critic.

I cant tell you how much joy your post bought me. You have made my day.

Best wishes to you and keep spreading those positive words.

Re: Apologies just looking for understanding

Beaser — Fri, 14 Apr 2023 20:02:20 GMT

Hi Ladyrose

Im so happy that things are going well for you. You deserve a big pat on the back. Unfortunately i didnt take up the position i spoke of. I did a tour of the school and i just didnt feel llike it was a good fit for me. Im very stressed that i have let people down i hope people can understand . My love and best wishes to you. Brett. I hope to hear more about how things are for you.

Re: Apologies just looking for understanding

Ladyrose — Sat, 15 Apr 2023 14:29:35 GMT

Hi Brett,

You have not let anyone down. You went and saw the new workplace and it wasnt the right fit. You are courageous for taking the first step, and should be proud of recognising it wasnt the right fit.

You did what was right for you, and you are what is important for you. No one has been let down.

Please dont punish yourself. You are obviously an intelligent person. You will find what is best for you. You gave me hope, kindness and courage. You need to give that to you also!

Re: Apologies just looking for understanding

Beaser — Sat, 15 Apr 2023 20:40:10 GMT

Thanks LadyRose.

Your good news has been great to read.

You seem such a kind and respectful person who wants the best for others. Keep up the great work.

Brett.

Re: Apologies just looking for understanding

Johnny_ — Tue, 18 Apr 2023 11:34:46 GMT

Hi Ladyrose,

Aww such beautiful words, thankyou! you honestly put a smile on my face:) I’m so glad my post made your day and to hear you have embraced your challenges too,…it’s so awesome to hear! …just don’t listen to those sleep stories on the clam app while driving lol.

just remember, It takes a strong person to let go of those tears… sometimes, when we release tears, there is a thought, a memory. Pay attention to it if you can and it will help guide you with what you might need to work on. This helped me.

I really do appreciate your words, thankyou and I will. The sun is always shinning, even above the rain clouds. Take care.

Re: Apologies just looking for understanding

quirkywords — Tue, 18 Apr 2023 12:13:03 GMT

Lady rose I just want to thank for being honest and taking time to reply to people. Your posts also help those who don’t post on the forum but read a lot of posts.,