topic Re: Driving with a driving instructor in Anxiety

Driving with a driving instructor

Flop — Sat, 10 Sep 2022 06:32:21 GMT

Hello all, this is my first post but I'm already grateful this community exist.

This year has been a tough one for me. I've been working on my anxiety & social anxiety in attempts to live a normal life. I've made so much progress, I'm double vaxxed, got my Ls and have been driving for about 9 months, going into shopping centres and things of the like. These sort of things last year would have seemed impossible to me. I acknowledge that I've made progress, but I'm at a hurdle and it's something I have to do alone. Going with a driving instructor to polish my driving, then to go for my Ps. I've had panic attacks and have been near having them many times in the past and my concern is not knowing how I'll react in this situation. Going with a driving instructor, and then getting my Ps is the thing I want most in this world, but I have these concerns. I have a few coping mechanisms I'll try and incorporate if need be, but if you have any that helped you in a similar situation I'd be happy to hear them.

If you can relate, please let me know how you went through this process, any words or encouragement or kindness. I just want to beat this.

Thank you all for reading!

Re: Driving with a driving instructor

Mark Z. — Sat, 10 Sep 2022 10:15:41 GMT

Hi Flop,

Welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing your story.

I think you should be proud of your progress, you're really doing a great job. And I strongly believe that you will get your Ps.

I have 2 little suggestions:

1. You can have an honest and open talk with your instructor if you feel stressed and panic. The instructor is highly professionally trained and they know how to deal with learners like you. I believe they'll be gentle, patient and easy-going.

2. Don't give yourself too much pressure, allow yourself to have mistakes, it's absolutely normal. This is a helpful process for your safety drive in the future. The more mistakes are found and corrected, the less likely future dangers will be when driving independently.

Mark

Re: Driving with a driving instructor

blues23 — Sat, 10 Sep 2022 10:36:41 GMT

Hi flop

I agree with mark.z it’s a lot to drive I didn’t learn til I was 26 soo take your time when your ready your ready , definitely speak to your instructor about your fears and anxiety it might be a good help as they are there to help you .

Re: Driving with a driving instructor

Beeee — Sat, 10 Sep 2022 10:55:33 GMT

Hello Flop,

First of all, I want to commend you for making so much progress! Being able to do what once felt impossible to you is incredible and a clear sign that you are very capable of overcoming anxiety.

I also got my Ps mid-pandemic and experienced a lot of the same anxieties you have described. Something that helped was finding an instructor that made me feel comfortable and supported. One of my dad's friends ended up being my instructor so I knew he came from good recommendation. Hopefully you can also find someone you trust. Then, as Mark has mentioned, let them know how you feel. They will have experience and be able to help you feel confident. And do just take your time, there's no rush, go at the pace that you feel comfortable with.

Wishing the best,

Beeee

Re: Driving with a driving instructor

ecomama — Sat, 10 Sep 2022 13:08:33 GMT

Wow Flop, I'm super impressed about how much you've achieved. You've even surprised YOURSELF!

Well done.

You now have those "notches in your belt" to remind yourself WHAT you have achieved and some of the things you can be SO PROUD of yourself for achieving. You could wear 3 different coloured bands on your wrist to remind you of these. Touch each of them in turn when you're feeling a bit wobbly.

This may sound dooming but it's just a fact that everyone needs more than one opportunity to have a go at some things before they GET to their goal. Multiple goes some times.

And that's OKAY! In fact it's brilliant practice at learning resilience.

With each learning opportunity, we find out what we needed to work more on and do just that. It's good to know these things.

Your Driving Instructor will GUIDE you about what needs to be practiced more. That's what you're paying them for lol!
Then they'll teach you the specific steps to LEARN those things.

Just knowing what you've achieved and the fact you're aiming for that GOAL is brilliant!

Wave when we pass each other on the road lol!

You've got this,
EM

Re: Driving with a driving instructor

geoff — Sat, 10 Sep 2022 16:23:54 GMT

Hello Flop, you certainly aren't the first person to feel like this, because to get your license is an enormous achievement and something we all want.

This instructor should be regarded as a friend and not a foe and all they want is for you to get your license, it's no different than learning to ride a push bike.

When you are having your test, the instructor and the appropriate person qualified to give you the OK, will talk as if they are friends to reduce your anxiety, so it's no different than being a taxi driver, driving two people in the back you might not be familiar with, try and block out their chit-chat and concentrate on your driving.

It won't take long to get your license and remember all you are doing is what you have been taught.

Good luck.

Geoff.

Life Member.

Re: Driving with a driving instructor

Flop — Sun, 11 Sep 2022 06:49:13 GMT

Hi Mark,

Thank you so much for your reply & kind words. Reminding me that these are professionals & that they'll know how to deal with the situation regardless of how it goes. I'll be sure to keep in mind I can talk about any issues/concerns I might have. You're also entirely right with it being okay to make mistakes. The reason I wanna go is to polish up my driving so I can not only pass my Ps but drive with confidence there after.

Thank you again, I can't put my gratitude into words.

Re: Driving with a driving instructor

Flop — Sun, 11 Sep 2022 06:53:54 GMT

Thank you blues23, you're definitely right. I could see myself just bringing it up in casual conversation as it'll probably be the only thing on my mind lol. Tho maybe not, you both put me at ease assuring me that it's not a taboo thing to talk about and that they'll understand and help me through it. Also for context, I'm 22 at the moment. 🙂

Thank you so much!

Re: Driving with a driving instructor

Flop — Sun, 11 Sep 2022 07:03:34 GMT

Hi Beeee,

Thank you so much, it's not been easy at all but I have come a long way. Even though you don't know me, your confidence in me brings forth confidence in myself.

I want to first congratulate you on undertaking what I'm attempting to do now. I know how difficult this step is and I'm so proud of you for pushing through it. Awesome job!!!! 🙂

Mm I'll keep this in mind if I have any discomfort with the instructor I end up trying, though from what you've all told me and what I've heard they're really good at easing anxiousness and making people feel comfortable, as even people without anxiety probably feel a bit anxious hopping in the car with a complete stranger for lessons. And yes, definitely gotta learn not to put too much pressure on myself, I've been making that a habit lately.

Thank you so much Beeee!

Re: Driving with a driving instructor

Flop — Sun, 11 Sep 2022 07:16:12 GMT

Hi Em,

Your words feel so heart felt and I can tell a lot of heart went into this message, I just want you to know that it reached me and I truly appreciate your kindness.

I've never thought of something like that but that's a really cool idea. I know to a lot of people this sort of thing would be trivial but having a constant reminder of each and every thing I'd thought would stop me, that I pushed on through could be very comforting, letting me know that this too will be conquered. I'll keep this in mind! 🙂

Your words on getting knocked back but pushing forward is also super true. I've had at least two set backs with driving already, one where I was a bit unwell for about a month, and another after I felt especially anxious after a random drive for no apparent reason, that lasted about a month also. Despite those setbacks, here I am getting ready to go with a driving instructor. You help me realize my perseverance.

You're totally right, they'll walk me through all I need to know and let me know when they think I'm ready to go for my Ps, so hopefully I can approach it with confidence knowing they also believe I'm ready.

I'll be sure to wave, thank you, from the bottom of my heart!

Re: Driving with a driving instructor

Flop — Sun, 11 Sep 2022 07:24:17 GMT

Hey Geoff,

Regarded as a friend and not a foe, this will definitely stick with me and I'll try and think of it like that instead of just an uncomfortable situation. Reassuring me that these are easy-going, friendly but professional people comforts me as well. Thank you for the advice too, on my Ps especially I'll have to try and focus on the road and not the idle chit-chat they're making because they know I'll be anxious as heck lol. Tho I'm sure the chats will ease me up as well, at least I hope. I'll try and keep all of this and mind.

Thank you so much Geoff!

Re: Driving with a driving instructor

Mark Z. — Mon, 12 Sep 2022 20:01:10 GMT

No worries at all Flop. Come back if there's something you want to update. Good luck!

Mark

Re: Driving with a driving instructor

Beeee — Tue, 13 Sep 2022 07:02:33 GMT

Hi Flop,

Thank you for the encouragement, reading your kind words has definitely made my day : )

I'm glad you're feeling a little more confident now and recognising an unhelpful habit is an important first step to breaking it.

Feel free to keep us updated!

Beeee