topic Loneliness in Anxiety

Loneliness

Frogsong — Mon, 08 Feb 2021 05:23:38 GMT

Is it just me or are there others out there who have trouble making friends. I've lived in the area for such a long time but can't seem to find my niche. I've tried on several occasions to participate in different things but for one reason or another, my anxiety and fear of being rejected takes over. I know it's something l have to try and overcome but it's really hard and I am 60. I'm very kind and tolerant, married to a man who l know loves me, but he isn't social which doesn't help.
If it wasn't for my kids, l think l would just pack up and go.
So if there's any one who is going through similar things I'd love to hear from you.

Loneliness

Matchy69 — Mon, 08 Feb 2021 06:04:53 GMT

Hi Frogsong and welcome to the forums with such a prominent topic.You will find their is a few of us on here who are lonely and struggle to make friends and from all age groups.I understand how your anxiety can make it hard.I find it very hard to make friends and does cause depression on me.I hope you can find some friends as you sound like a nice caring person.
Take care,
Mark.

Loneliness

Frogsong — Mon, 08 Feb 2021 06:12:13 GMT

Thankyou

Loneliness

Guest_4643 — Mon, 08 Feb 2021 06:23:30 GMT

Hi Frogsong, welcome. I'm sorry you're going through this. It's good that you have a good husband and kids though.

I'm 21, and I feel the same as you, I've always struggled to make friends and still do, online and in person, especially in person.

Loneliness

Katyonthehamsterwheel — Mon, 08 Feb 2021 08:30:21 GMT

Hi Frogsong

I agree with Matchy, it's a prominent topic on the forums. I too struggle with anxiety and rejection. I'm in my 40's, so it does seem to occur across all age groups. Have you tried joining in any activities where you can be around people, without necessarily needing to be with someone, so that you have company that way? Bingo, scrabble, tennis or whatever takes your fancy? I do yoga so at least I'm around people weekly, even if I don't talk to anyone. Hard isn't it?

Kind wishes, Katy

Loneliness

Frogsong — Mon, 08 Feb 2021 09:08:22 GMT

Thankyou, It's nice to hear I'm not alone, there seems to be so many people feeling the same. You would think at 60 l would have it all worked out, but getting older doesn't change things. I hope things get better for you, keep smiling.

Loneliness

Frogsong — Mon, 08 Feb 2021 09:14:13 GMT

Hello, thankyou, yes, l'm looking for something to get involved in. Funny you mentioned yoga as l hope to join a group if l can find one close by. I think the only way out of this rut is to get out there and fight my fears, knowing there are so many others feeling the same way does help.
Even though I've only just joined these forums, I'm actually feeling much better already...so thankyou everyone.

Loneliness

Frogsong — Mon, 08 Feb 2021 09:18:55 GMT

Hello%2c thankyou%2c yes%2c l%27m looking for something to get involved in. Funny you mentioned yoga as l hope to join a group if l can find one close by. I think the only way out of this rut is to get out there and fight my fears%2c knowing there are so many others feeling the same way does help.
%3cbr/%3eEven though I%27ve only just joined these forums%2c I%27m actually feeling much better already...so thankyou everyone.

Loneliness

Ggrand — Mon, 08 Feb 2021 09:31:57 GMT

Hello Dear Frongsong..

A very warm and caring welcome to the forums..

That horrible sad feeling of loneliness can be very overwhelming at times...I live alone in a small town of 200 residents..I’ve been here for 5 years now...and still haven’t really made any friends....except one...

I started saying hello to my neighbour and now occasionally we will have a cup of tea together....The first couple of weeks when I moved in she was yelling at me about my little dogs...it took a number of years before I got the courage to start saying hello to her....

I isolated myself for long periods of time due to my anxiety...I volunteered at my local charity shop..it gets me out for a day...and now after a few years of volunteering I find my anxiety around people has eased of a little....Do you think that you might consider volunteering somewhere?..

I am happy to hear that your husband is kind and loving...and your not living alone...It doesn’t matter if we are alone or in a crowded room....We can still feel loneliness...

Looking forward to getting to you Dear Frogsong...Love that name..reminds me of the frogs singing after it’s been raining....

My kindest and caring thoughts..

Grandy...

Loneliness

Kris_G — Mon, 08 Feb 2021 12:05:38 GMT

Hello Frogsong,

I am 41 years old and like you I have trouble making new friends. I haven't really made a new friend since high school. And nowadays, sadly I only see 1 of those high school friend regularly.

I don't like small chit chat nor am I a funny person. So over the years I've convinced myself that I am a boring person. This belief has led to anxiety and doubts about trying to meet new people. I say to msyelf 'Who would want to be friends with a boring person?'

Loneliness

Guest_4643 — Mon, 08 Feb 2021 12:11:38 GMT

Hey Frogsong.

It's ok to not have everything figured out despite your age, some people are less fortunate than others, which is sad. Nobody's perfect, we all have our faults, etc.

Hey Kris_G, I'll be your friend. I have trouble making new friends also. I don't even have friends from primary or high school. I'm sure you're a cool person, and funny. Welcome by the way.

Loneliness

Amanda2000 — Mon, 08 Feb 2021 23:55:15 GMT

Hi Frogsong,

I'm exactly the same - can't seem to find my niche!

I've had some short-term acquaintances at various stages in life but not close friends. My high school years were the worst. I was never important enough for anyone to mind me a seat next to them. Also I felt invisible in a group situation. This improved after I started uni. But then I was back at the beginning again when I started working as the age-groups can be quite diverse in the work-environment.

I need alone-time to recharge my energy so not having friends is actually not so bad for me nowadays.

We all change/evolve as we grow/age so what felt right for us 10 years ago may not be the same as today. I don't think there's any age that we can have everything all figured out. It's ok, a lovely surprise may be waiting for you sometime in the future but you just can't see it yet.

Loneliness

Frogsong — Tue, 09 Feb 2021 05:42:20 GMT

Hello thank you for your reply. Sorry you have also had a hard time, its not easy is it. I'm happy to say I enquired about volunteering today and have made the first steps to making it happen. I did actually start volunteering at the beginning of last year and then covid hit, I hope it works out this time. It's funny when you make steps to change things, if it wasn't for this forum I don't think I would be pushing myself so much, I think I've realised that there are so many people out there craving for acceptance and friendship. So thankyou to every single one of you.

Loneliness

Frogsong — Tue, 09 Feb 2021 05:46:14 GMT

Hello, so sorry you are feeling like this, just know, everyone is unique in their own way, I really hope you find your way.

Loneliness

Frogsong — Tue, 09 Feb 2021 05:48:54 GMT

Thank you, I hope you find your niche soon.

Loneliness

Ggrand — Tue, 09 Feb 2021 10:43:15 GMT

Dear Frogsong...

I was excited for you when I read that you put in an application for volunteer work....fingers crossed...I hope the people you with are kind and friendly....maybe a good friend may come from it...

I joined the forums I think 1997...very broken and confused about how to live without being told what to do, how to do etc....I received and still do receive beautiful support from the community members here...I connected with someone on these forums and now consider her my bbff....

I hope you find these forums as helpful as I have..

Sending you my love and a warm caring hug...(if you like hugs)...

Hope to hear from you again lovely lady..only when your ready..there’s no pressure here at all to post..

Grandy..

Loneliness

Frogsong — Wed, 17 Feb 2021 08:39:57 GMT

Hello everyone, well since my last visit here I am starting orientation for a volunteer position next week, both excited and nervous about it. I know I'll have to work really hard at sticking it out as l tend to start things and give up because my anxiety kicks in. Reading everyone's posts has really helped as l realise I'm not alone, so thankyou everyone.

Loneliness

Ggrand — Wed, 17 Feb 2021 09:16:24 GMT

Congratulations Frogsong....you will do very good...Starting something new with anxiety is hard....Thoughts are only thoughts lovely Frogsong....I believe in you and know you will excel at your new volunteering position...

Wishing you all the wishes for your new journey...Please keep us updated if you like sharing...I would love to know how your getting on...

My kind thoughts always..

Grandy...

Loneliness

Frogsong — Wed, 17 Feb 2021 09:29:46 GMT

Thankyou, even though this is all online l don't feel as isolated as l did when l first wrote on this site. Everyone has been so kind suggesting ways to ease my loneliness. It made me realise I'm not alone, and it has pushed me out of my comfort zone.
Hoping for friendships not only here but out there too.

Loneliness

Ggrand — Wed, 17 Feb 2021 10:10:23 GMT

Hi Frogsong ..The community members here are really beautiful and caring people....and are now a huge part of my life....I couldn’t imagine not coming here daily to chat to people and try to support them as much as I can...

You are definitely amongst friends dear Frogsong...and never alone...

I hope so much that you will find some wonderful friends and friendships in your new volunteer role....

Warm hugs lovely Frogsong.... 🐸 🎶..

Grandy..